I Srsly Need Song Recs - Tumblr Posts

how sad is it, that i'm dancing alone? - ex!spy!loki x bibi

"you look...dead"

"it's 45 degrees outside, bibi."

loki rubs and opens his eyes to find a messy haired bibi, judging him over her glasses. he can vividly remember the day she got them, gushing over how she looked like a typical kid in their early teens. she's all grown up now, he has too, he has noticed.

he blinks his eyes to see her more clearly, only to find himself squinting at fine dust particles. he sighs, the heat still evident in the room, including her presence.

he monotonously checks his phone, just to leave everyone on seen, not even bothering to reply to even his closest friends. he doesn't want anything to do with them, they remind him of simpler times. times when he wasn't staring off into space, times when he had someone on his bad days, times when he had someone by his side.

his phone keeps notifying him with various notifications, calling him back to his old job. how could he, without his partner-in-crime by his side? he vowed he would never go back, find himself a better job to help the world in a better way. it would be easy for his superiors to replace his partner, it would be easy to keep up his walls around them, not let them even through the tiniest crack, just like how bibi did.

she didn't slip through the gaps, no, that's highly uncharacteristic of her. she crashed them down, making them hubris. pulling up a depressed and frankly unimpressed loki, she showed him that, how many every gloomy clouds in the sky, the sun would always shine through.

he memorized everything she said, she did. he could map the freckles and acne on her face, drawing them with a black marker on her face, proudly showing off his newly found constellations, much to the amusement of bibi.

loki never thought someone would love him the way she did. they met in an unfortunate place, fortunately fell in love. for whatever reason they met, they loved, they lived. loki never opened himself immediately to her, still, she chose to never let go. he always prayed that she would be happy, cherished the days she was by his side, silently wishing and hoping that he could do that forever.

wishing? a childish concept to him. hoping? equally so. but he wished and hoped this was a fever dream, that he would wake up with continuous pillow hits to his face, that when he opens his eyes, he would see his love standing in front of him, cheeky smile adorning her face.

for whatever reason he owes to the higher ups, he's glad that he met someone like her. that he had the chance of loving someone so wonderful. he's glad that she was there during his blissful and weary days. for whatever reason he hates the higher ups, he hates that she was taken away so quickly from him. he hates that it was in the same unfortunate place that he lost her. it happened so quickly, like how a bullet is released from it's grip from the gun.

memories of her play like a broken record, like the one bibi had bought from an antique shop, forcefully placing his hands on her waist, dancing to creaky old tunes the record crooned. he dances alone now, a drink in his calloused hand to keep him company, traces of her all over his place. he's back where he started now, alone.

a/n: tbh, would've preferred to write a dead loki, but i asked, @biancablack2474 said it would rather be her. she asked, i delivered. here's a fic dedicated to you, bibi !!! pls don't be a spy ahahah :P