If Hot Chocolate After Playing In The Snow Was A Fic - Tumblr Posts

touya always has your baby in his arms, or strapped to him in a carrier, or balanced on his hip when baby gets big enough to hold onto papa too. he wears that baby like his favourite accessory. like one of the essential items he can't leave the house without; phone, wallet, keys, baby.

you notice it after a while: if they're both conscious (or at least touya is,) that baby is in his arms. you think it's sweet, how could you not? he can barely stand being away for a couple of hours, even if he knows the baby is in the best possible care—shouto has proven himself to be a surprisingly proficient babysitter, at least under fuyumi and natsuo's tutelage.

and then one night you find touya asleep in the arm chair in baby's room, pulled up alongside the cot that recently had its bars removed, since baby really isn't much of a baby anymore—though that's still hard to believe most days. he's sprawled out sideways in the chair, his wiry arms and legs dangling, and in his sleep, touya's hand is resting overtop of baby's chest as it rises and falls with steady, easy breaths.

and, for the first time, you realize that maybe the reason touya feels so attached to your child—the reason he can't bear to be apart—is because he knows what it's like to be a child that wasn't held when he needed it. to be a child without a pair of open arms to offer comfort, or a hand on his chest to ease his dreams. and though there are many things that touya may never be able to do, and many ways that he'll inevitably stumble as he learns what it takes to be a father, he knows he never wants his child to know what that feels like.