If There Was A Way To Save My Favourite Fics This Would Be Number One Rn - Tumblr Posts

Not you posting this just as I forced myself to study for an upcoming exam...

I was so giddy to read this, I keot putting it further and further away, because I had things to do, but I couldn't stop the anticipation in me.

And oh my god, I loved this so much. My eyes sting as well now, good lord. The reader's thoughts are something I am very very familiar with, as well as the lack of motivation to even seem ok enough to communicate properly with anyone. The doubt of deserving Silco's affection hit especially hard.

And the way he is firm in his gentle words and affirmations? Telling the reader the awful thoughts produced by their mind are just lies, leaving no room for discussion? The way he does so much to help with so little words and few actions? The little teasing jokes towards the end, the way he doesn't hesitate to keep them close at their worst? Now I'm just making myself emotional thinking about it, fucking hell.

I loved this. And I can jever thank you enough for this, I never would have expected you to post this the same day I sent in the ask. But thank you, so much. You have no idea how much it helped. I really needed something like this.

Hiiiii! I absolutely love your work (as you may have noticed, but idk if I was vocal enough about it 🤔).

I saw you were answering asks with scenarios with Silco and I was thinking...I've been kind of down in the dumps lately and I'm really interested in your take how Silco would confort his s/o in such a situation. I live for hurt/comfort and it helps me tremendously and I feel like there is a criminak lack of such fics with Silco, but if you don't feel inspired, that's completely ok! Again, I really love everything you write, have a great day!

Thank you, Robin, for the request! And thank you for all your kind words today in my DMs. My heart is overflowing with all the love and support I've received today.

To be loved

AO3 link

Word count: 1.8k

Beta reader: none

Tags: Silco x gn!reader, soft Silco, established relationship, depression, fluff, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, angsty with a happy ending

One more bad day after a series of bad days leaves you feeling numb and dejected. Getting out of bed seems an impossible task. But thankfully, your partner Silco knows exactly what you need to get you out of your funk.

You lay in bed, staring at the clock on your nightstand. You’ve been awake for almost an hour, but haven’t worked up the nerve to get out from underneath the covers. The long nights and cold temperatures have been doing a number on your mood, making it harder and harder for you to find the will to do anything.

Your partner stirs behind you, lifting the sheets off himself as he gets out of bed before gently placing them back down to start his routine. The man is a machine; awake and up, ready to start the day without so much as a stretch or a yawn. More and more, you find yourself growing envious of his ability to get going so easily while your mood continues to plummet with each passing week.

Silco makes his way around the bed. On his way to the bathroom, he crosses your line of vision just as a sigh pushes its way out of your mouth. He pauses, turning to find you awake.

“Morning,” he hums.

“Mmm,” you hum back noncommittally. 

Immediately, his brow furrows and concern paints his features. He moves to sit next to you, a hand draped gently over your shoulder.

“Everything okay, love?”

His voice is so soft. 

Why is it so soft? And for whom? You?

You bury your head in your pillow, hiding your face, feeling undeserving of the gentleness Silco has shown—and continues to show—you.

His thumb rubs a tender line along your arm. When he speaks, his voice is filled with understanding, a familiarity that only comes from knowing someone deeply—intimately—for a long time.

“Another down day?”

You nod your head, face still buried in the pillow.

He shifts on the bed to get closer to you, bringing his hand up to your head. Long fingers work themselves into your hair, pads of his fingers gently massaging your scalp in small circles.

“Do you want your usual?”

You turn your head, one eye looking at him through your periphery before meekly whispering into the pillow, “Yes, please.”

He continues to stroke your hair, looking at you with those beautiful mismatched eyes.

“Can you wait a moment while I get ready?”

You offer the smallest of nods. He offers you the softest of smiles.

“Okay.” He leans down, bringing his lips to the crown of your head before speaking into your hair. “I won’t be long.”

The mattress squeaks as his weight leaves it. You bury your face into the pillow again and listen to the sound of the bathroom door opening then closing. As Silco starts to take a shower, you turn to face his side of the bed, scooting into the middle to chase the remnants of warmth he had left in his stead.

Has it always been this hard?

You curl in on yourself, pulling the sheets around you like a cocoon. As if it will envelope and surround you, as if it could protect you from everything. 

Could everything just… please… slow down?

If the world could just pause, give you a chance to catch up. If time could still so you could get your bearings. It would be so nice.

But living in Runeterra—and especially in the Undercity—doesn’t afford anyone that luxury. It’s always go, go, go. Don’t stop. Don’t slow down. Don’t look back. Just keep moving forward.

It’s exhausting.

You don’t know how long you lay in bed as Silco finishes his shower, your thoughts crawling along as if wading through drying cement. You briefly drift back to sleep for a bit before the sound of the bedroom door opening stirs you from your restless slumber. When you turn to the source of the sound, you find Silco—makeup done, hair styled, and neatly dressed as usual—standing in the doorway holding a tray.

“Here,” he says before making his way to you.

With a grunt, you sit up just as Silco places the tray over your lap, the small wooden legs on either side of you. On it is a mug of hot tea and a plate of leftover Poro Snax from the night before. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, taking the mug and cradling it in your hands, bringing it up so that the warmth from the tea kisses your face. You take a sip and hum in approval, the honey a welcomed sweetness on your tongue. And sweeter still is Silco, moving to sit next to you, one arm wrapping around your shoulders to pull you to himself.

“Take as long as you need,” he whispers, squeezing your shoulder. “And if that means all day, that’s fine, too.”

You set the mug down and give Silco a tired smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Still, it’s the most you can offer him in your current state. He leans down and kisses your forehead before cradling your jawline with his hand. 

“I’ll be right through there—” his eyes flick to the office door and back, “if you need anything.”

You nod but can’t help the long sigh that escapes through your nose.

Eyes cast down to the tray below you, your vision blurry as your eyes unfocus. Your eyes flutter closed as you try—you really do try—to get a grip.

But it’s too hard.

Everything’s too hard.

Just being is too hard right now.

You sit like this for a moment, stuck in time. Feeling too much and not enough all at once. Feeling like you’re spiraling out of control and yet unable to move. Then—

Silco shifts beside you, taking the pillow from behind you and tossing it to his side of the bed before taking its place. Long legs come around your hips as he slots himself behind you, his chest pressed into your back as his arms move to wrap around your middle in an embrace.

Ruined cheek pressed to your temple, you can hear his soft breaths in your ear, feel his steady heartbeat against your back. You melt into the touch, sagging into the mattress and him as you cross your arms over his, fingers quick to find his and lace together.

“I love you,” he hums into your hair. “Good day. Bad day. I will always love you.” He gently squeezes your middle. “You know that, right?”

You take in a deep breath and feel a familiar sting behind your eyes. Throat bobbing, you nod once.

“This is just a moment in time,” he whispers, bringing his chin up to rest on your head. “It will pass. Like it always does.”

He leans to the side to better look into your face. You turn toward him, feeling on the verge of tears; a strange mixture of despair and relief welling within you. As you look into the sincere eyes of your partner, you wonder how you ever got so lucky.

To be loved.

And not just by anyone, but by Silco.

“You’re strong,” he whispers into the space between you. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you are.”

Your eyes flutter and your mouth presses together as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Without missing a beat, Silco’s hand is wiping it away.

“You are beautiful. And clever. And a brilliant light to everyone around you.” His eyebrows curl inward and he shakes his head. “And don’t you dare think for a second you are anything but.”

“But—” you croak out, choking down a sob.

Silco’s quick to cut you off, bringing both hands to cradle your face, willing you to look at him.

“Shhhh, no, no, no.” 

The ocean green and volcanic orange of his gaze is almost overwhelming, piercing into not just your eyes but into your very being. You’ve never met someone who so thoroughly sees you. 

“I know what is going through that head of yours and they’re all lies.” 

He presses his forehead into yours, his good eye closing. 

“You are not a burden. You do deserve every bit of affection I give you.”

His good eye opens, staring intently at you.

“Trust me and listen to me when I say: you’re going to be okay.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing more tears out. Mouth a thin line, you’re helpless to stop the broken sob as it rips itself from your throat.

“Come here,” Silco coos as he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

You turn toward him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck as his hands smooth down your back, rubbing up and down your spine. Clinging to his vest, you let out a cry that was weeks in the making. 

You had held it in for so long. You thought that you had powered through it, pushed it down deep enough that it wouldn’t come back. But as Silco continues to hold you and your throat begins to burn from your pathetic wails, you know that this moment—this breakdown—was inevitable. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.

You’re just thankful you have Silco to guide you through it.

As your tears slow and your breathing steadies, you feel a sense of relief wash over you. While the numbness you had been feeling recently still lingers, you feel as if a little bit of the weight has lifted. 

You pull back, bringing one hand up to wipe your eyes as you laugh pathetically.

“I probably look like such a mess.”

Silco shrugs.

“A bit,” he teases before reaching into his back pocket for a handkerchief to wipe your face. “But you’re my mess.”

That gets a small giggle out of you and you melt back into his arms, sighing.

“Thank you, Silco.”

He presses a kiss to your head, stroking your back.

“Any time, my love.”

Rejuvenated, you turn back to your breakfast. Silco carefully untangles himself from you, looking down at his ensemble as he gets to his feet.

“I’m impressed. You managed to not get a single tear on me.”

You take a bite out of the now-cold pastry, shrugging. “I try.”

He leans down for one more kiss, a small peck on your lips. 

“Take your time,” he hums, making his way to the door that leads to his office. With a nod, he gestures to the food in your hand. “And you better eat every last bite of that.”

You roll your eyes, smiling. Alone with your thoughts and your Poro Snax, you take a deep steadying breath.

Yesterday sucked. And the day before it sucked. And the day before it.

You take another bite, savoring the sweet flavor. Warmth blossoms in your chest, one you hadn't felt in a while. You take one more deep breath, eyes turning to the large window overlooking the Lanes. 

But I have a better feeling about today.

A/N: I have written so much smut lately, writing hurt/comfort is so refreshing. Also ngl I made myself tear up a bit while writing this and getting into the reader headspace. As a depression girlie myself, I've def had these sorts of days.

Taglist: @averagecrastinator @mazikomo @writingmysanity @insult-2-injury @ariaud @jennrosefx @ins0mniac-whack @steponmesilco  @sherwood-forests @leave-me-alone-silco @givemebeansnow @aeryntheofficial @dreamyonahill @lostbunn @eurydicethesage @thepineapplesimp @whatisafandom @violet-19999 @juicboxd @sageandberries-png @delta-is-here @mutedwordz @fly-like-egyptian-musk @jennithejester @mrsdelirium @witheringblooddemon

Join my taglist!