I'm Actually Going Crazy Bc They Were So In Love - Tumblr Posts

tragic ending [trope — seonghwa]

inspired by: immortal beloved — book + this short story + this one-shot

word count: 2.4k

content: angst, smut, immortal!seonghwa, mentions of not wanting to live (but not suicidal thoughts), netflix and chill, sofa sex, unprotected sex (pls remember to wrap up irl!), completely consensual (sex)!

trope masterlist | part one | part two

God, you were so in love. You didn’t think you were capable of falling in love because love never seemed to last, but with Seonghwa, your faith in humanity was restored, and you knew that he would treat you to a lifetime of happiness.

The two of you met when you were in college. He was at the park, sitting on a bench and enjoying the beautiful day, and you were walking through the park with your friend to get to class. You usually never did a double-take for anything— not even a cute dog or billboard or anything— but you did for him, and you did multiple times. He just looked so beautiful, so serene with his eyes closed and his dark locks softly swaying in the wind. You kept looking back at him to the point where you at some point stopped walking, your friend mildly annoyed.

“Y/N, I wouldn’t care so much about you doing this if we weren’t already late for class,” he huffed.

“…You go on ahead, Yunho. I don’t think I’m going to come to class today.”

And you didn’t go for class that day. Instead, you went to the man with the pretty face and the gorgeous hair, and you got to know him. Maybe it was love at first sight, but you only knew one thing at that time: this man was going to change your life.

Seonghwa didn’t plan on falling in love. He honestly was tired of life. He wasn’t going to kill himself or anything, but he just wanted a break from it all. He’d seen too much, been through too much.

Yet, that fateful day he met you, he suddenly wanted to stay. He wanted to be with you because you were the first and only person he never pushed away right from the start. He knew that he would hurt you at some point, that you were going to resent him, but when he saw your sparkling eyes and beautiful smile, and when he heard your melodic laugh, he couldn’t say no.

You got to know him well that day— he told you literally everything about him. He told you what his favorite color was, his favorite animal, his favorite restaurant, his favorite video games and past times and movies and literally every single thing.

Everything but the fact that he was immortal.

Seonghwa didn’t think you needed to know. He never wanted you to know because as much as he enjoyed spending time with you, he knew that it was never going to last, that he would hurt you. He planned on keeping it as surface level as possible— just go on a couple of dates with you, enjoy your company, and break up because of some stupid thing. Humans always ended relationships because of something stupid, and he thought you would be one of those typical humans.

But you were not.

And that’s what he loved so much about you.

Seonghwa was having a particularly rough night. He was having flashbacks to centuries ago, nightmares of people he loved perishing because of famine, because of disease— survivor’s guilt. He lived with eternal survivor’s guilt.

He was more quiet than usual as the two of you sat on the couch and watched a movie, his arms wrapped around you as you leaned into his chest. You were focused on the movie, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t. You paused the movie and turned in his arms, your hand cupping his cheek.

“Hwa, what’s wrong?” you whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“You… Look sad.”

“Ah…”

Seonghwa couldn’t respond— he didn’t know how to voice his thoughts. He couldn’t tell you the truth, and he vowed to himself that he never would. But, when he looked at the worry on your face, he wanted to break and tell you everything, but that was never going to happen.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“…Are you sure you want to be with someone like me?”

Your eyes flew wide open. You turned in his arms all the way and looked right into his eyes, pain and sorrow filling his beautiful, boba eyes. You cupped his face and nodded.

“Seonghwa, I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else,” you reassured him.

“R-really?” Seonghwa was about to cry— you thought it was because he didn’t believe you, but it was because he didn’t want you to.

“Really, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

Seonghwa really did start crying that time. Well, it was only a tear or two, but he let them slip. You quickly dried his tears and kissed him softly, your hands guiding his face to yours. His arms wrapped around you and held you close, his plush lips pressing harder against yours, his lips trapping your lower lip and tugging upwards slightly.

He pulled you onto your lap, your legs straddling as you continued making out with him. He leaned into you, one hand supporting your lower back while the other reached for the TV remote to resume the movie.

The dialogue and soundtrack of the movie played quietly in the background as your kisses with Seonghwa got more feverish. You ran your fingers through his hair as you pushed your tongue into his mouth. You felt him shiver beneath you before smiling in between kisses, his tongue dancing with yours. His hands went under your shirt, and his fingers glided along the curve of your waist, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You were quickly losing your patience. Still kissing him, you moved your hands down to his pants and tugged them down along with his underwear, his hard and trembling cock springing out. He let out a tiny whine when he felt you fingers form a tight ring around the base of his cock and slowly move upwards while squeezing his cock.

“Clothes off. Now,” Seonghwa uttered when he moved his lips from your to your ear.

The two of you quickly stripped down to nothing, and before long, Seonghwa was rubbing the head of his pretty cock against your folds as you hovered above him, his other hand on your waist. Gripping his shoulders, you slowly sank down onto his cock and tucked your lower lip between your teeth as you stifled a moan.

Before you could start moving, Seonghwa held the back of your head and kissed you roughly, his teeth forcibly untucking your lower lip.

“I want to hear you scream my name,” he murmured.

You leaned back to see him looking up at you, his eyes now sparkling and full of longing and desire. You couldn’t help but smile— and wonder how on Earth this adorable being was going to get you to scream his name— before kissing him again.

Your lips were still locked with his as he began to guide your waist, lifting and lowering you on his cock at a slow, steady rhythm. His moans vibrated within you as he felt your walls clench every time your ass hit his lap.

“Fuck, not so tight, babe,” Seonghwa said as his breath hitched. “You’re going to snap my dick off.”

You couldn’t even respond to him. You were so focused on chasing your own high that you were bouncing on his lap desperately. You moved your hips back and leaned into him, the new angle satisfying both you and him. Seonghwa let out a choked groan, and his hold on your waist got tighter as he said through gritted teeth, “I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum inside,” you said while panting. “I want you to fill me up.”

That was it— those were the magic words. Pressing his head into the nook of your neck, Seonghwa pushed your waist down and came, his cum spurting inside you, warming you up, filling you up. He let out a huge moan of relief before looking up at you, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. You couldn’t help but giggle as you brushed his hair back, revealing his lovely face. You kissed him softly, thinking you were done, but you were far from done. He still had to make you cum.

You yelped as he pinned you to the couch, his cock still deep inside you. He moved your legs so that your calves were resting on his shoulders, and he hammered away, his cock going deep inside you.

You were really screaming and moaning loudly at that point— Seonghwa was hitting depths of you that you didn’t even know existed, and the feeling of his cock rubbing against your G-spot and hitting your cervix repeatedly was shooting waves of pleasure through your body, your eyes collecting spots as you felt the knot in your belly get tighter.

The man kissed you again, bending you over even more to the point where you definitely felt him stretching out your hamstrings. The straw that broke you was when he kissed you, kneaded your breast, and played with your clit, the overstimulation driving you insane. You cried his name loudly, the syllables bouncing off the walls and through your apartment. Your cunt clenched so hard while you came that you made Seonghwa cum again, and when he pulled out, a trail of white followed his cock and trickled down your cunt to your ass.

Seonghwa had to look away quickly— the sight nearly made him hard all over again, but he knew he had to give you a break because you looked ruined. Your hair was all over the place, and your eyes were still hazy as you recovered from the high of your orgasm.

Next thing you knew, Seonghwa cleaned the two of you up before wrapping throw blanket on the couch around you, your bare skin still pressing against his as he hugged you to his chest. You brushed his hair out of his face and smiled softly at him, the man reciprocating your smile. He kissed you softly, sensually, then rested his forehead against yours, that same sweet smile of his lingering on his face.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he whispered, his gentle voice making your heart flutter.

“I love you so much more, Hwa.”

“You spend so much time with the guy and he practically lives here at this point, so you might as well get married at this point.”

Seonghwa didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with Yunho, but you and Yunho were sitting at the kitchen countertop. He was finishing up with his shower and quietly made his way out of the bedroom, but he hid behind the corner to listen to you talk to your best friend.

“I mean, I’ve been dropping hints and clues… But I don’t think he wants to get married,” you said with a sigh.

“If he doesn’t want to get married, then dump him!” Yunho exclaimed.

“Marriage is a social construct, Yunho. We don’t need to have a ceremony or anything for us to prove our love for each other,” you explained calmly while trying to see Seonghwa’s point of view. “I would much rather just keep living like this instead of pressuring him to spend thousands of dollars on one special day or whatever.”

If it were up to Seonghwa, he would’ve proposed to you and had the biggest wedding in the universe because he was such a fucking romantic; but, there was no way in hell he was going to marry you let alone anyone else because it would never last.

“Alright, fine. If you don’t want to get married, then don’t do it. I still think it’s weird since you’ve been dating the guy for ten fucking years, but whatever floats your boat.”

Your voice and Yunho’s voice faded as Seonghwa slowly walked backwards. He overstayed his welcome, and it was time for him to leave. So, as quietly as he could, he packed up all of his belongings.

Yunho ended up leaving before Seonghwa ever emerged, which confused you because usually Seonghwa and Yunho got along. After you said goodbye to your friend, you went back to your bedroom to see Seonghwa standing with a bunch of bags— his bags.

“Hwa… Wh-what is going on?” you stuttered out as your blood ran cold.

“I’m leaving.”

Your jaw dropped.

“What?! What, what, what?!”

Seonghwa didn’t need to elaborate. He grabbed the bags and walked out of the bedroom. You grabbed one of the bags and tugged on it, trying to stop the man from walking or at least keep one of his bags so he wouldn’t be able to leave, but he was strong, and he dragged you and the bags to the front door.

“What do you mean?! How can you just— What— Why are you doing this, Seonghwa?!”

“I do this, Y/N, okay?! I leave. I always leave. I don’t commit to anything or anyone, and I always fucking leave. Got it?”

Seonghwa threw his bags to the ground in front of the door and proceeded to have the argument with you— anything to get you to resent him and kick him out the door, but he knew you would never do that. You weren’t that kind of person.

“Then why the fuck did you get in a relationship with me if you were planning on leaving from the very beginning?!”

“Because I fell in love with you from the moment we met!”

“So then don’t fucking leave!” you were hysterical at that point. “I just— I don’t understand your fucking logic— why won’t you commit?! If you love me so much, then fucking stay with me!”

“You will never understand—”

“Then help me understand! Don’t fucking do this to me, Seonghwa! Please— I love you so much!”

You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a forceful kiss, tears streaming down your face. Seonghwa could taste the salt from your tears, and he desperately wanted to stay with you, but he just could not. It wasn’t meant for him. It was never meant for him.

He didn’t kiss you back, but he didn’t push you away either. It was when you pulled away that he successfully got away from your touch. You saw tears welling up in his eyes as he opened his mouth to say one last thing, but he didn’t. He left. Just like that.

Seonghwa knew it from the very beginning, but he shouldn’t have let you talk to him that day because it was from that moment on that he knew you were never going to have a happy ending. Even if he chose to stay with you, you were going to die sad, and he was going to have to live with the pain. At least this way he didn’t have to see you die.

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