I'm Crying Balls. - Tumblr Posts

OH MY GOD. THIS— WAUGHHH 😭 THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF.

peace // clarity

ೃ⁀➷ ellie williams x fem reader

ೃ⁀➷ word count 1.6k+

ೃ⁀➷ summary/ tropes: (i realized i forgot to add this) brother's best friend ellie! hurt/ comfort! fluff! ellie pinning! sapphic yearning!

ೃ⁀➷ warnings: short ellie fluff to get back into writing, loser ellie williams , brothers bff ellie, fluff, fluff, fluff!

ೃ⁀➷ reblogs and comments always appreciated 🫶🏻

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ellie williams didn’t know a lot of things for certain. but what she had been always sure of, and would always be sure of, was how much of a loser she was when it came to you.

jamey, your younger brother - her best friend, her only friend- knew it too.

he had been annoyed at first, by her infatuation, but then it was apparent quickly how pathetic it was. 

whenever you graced them with your presence in the living room, she would get distracted and lose whatever game they were playing, from mario kart to cod.

and you were obviously not stupid, she knew that sweet smile could not be anything else than pity. 

she tried, she really did, to get over you. but it was hard when she had to see you every day she was over at her best friend’s house. she could not really step lower and tell jamey her heart ached when seeing you.

and it had not been instant love.

she thought you were holier than thou.

a grade above them. popular, pretty, beloved.

but you had always been nice to her, always. with no exceptions.

when one of the cheerleaders you had over sneered at ellie, you shook your head disappointed and defended her in soft but stern words. her heart had raced a little.

when you would strut down the stairs in pretty outfits and twirl, showing them your outfit for the night, your brother would roll his eyes lovingly and compliment you. she could only make an effort to avoid drooling.

you had even invited her to your room years ago once to help you zip up a dress for a homecoming date you had with a senior. 

and now you were a senior, and in a semester or so you would be moving out. ellie had already started mourning the fact that she was insignificant enough in your life that when you went to college, she would be forgotten.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ellie williams was your brother’s best friend.

there had been a year when you drove jamey to ellie’s house weekly, or picked him up after a night of doing geeky things.

not that you had ever snarked at the geeky things. you liked them enough. and ellie was beautiful. 

when she knew you were looking, her cheeks tinged red, she would blubber, her body would shake, and she would loose all concentration.

when she wasn’t aware of your stare. she was all serious and concentrated, and so, so beautiful. ellie had always been beautiful.

but you never did anything untoward, she was your brother’s best friend. and if you began something with her, you would inevitably do something wrong and she will realize you were not enough, and she was too good, too smart, too pure for you, she would leave. your brother would be forced to take your side, and resent you…

you were never enough.

not enough. 

never enough.

always too much.

you had done your best to never have jamie feel the lack of a loving embrace, of a caregiver. feel the lack of parents who loved money more than you.

you did feel the lack though.

felt it heavy, crushing your chest, weighing you down as your flats dug into your heels, and you rushed through the dark suburb streets. hands wrapped around yourself, tights tearing, tears streaming down your cheeks, smearing your eye makeup.

you were getting closer and closer to her house when you felt wet land on your head.

it had started to rain.

by the time you got to her house, you were drenched, cold, shivering, and ready to scream.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ellie williams was lounging in the living room, deep into her book when she heard a knock. 

weird, she hadn’t been expecting anyone. nor had joel, who was fast asleep in his room.

she checked the time on her phone, 1:33 am.

a shiver made her way through her body, but she ignored the anxiety and made her way toward the front door. 

she had no idea on what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t her crush. her eyes widened as she beheld you from the front door window. 

her heart stopped when she opened the door and she could hear your soft sobs.

she cursed softly. she could see your frame trembling. she took action. 

wrapping her arm around you and pulling you in for a hug, not caring that you drenched her clothes, closing the door behind you.

you started speaking, untangling from her hug, “i’m dragging in grime, and i’ll dirty y-your floors!” you sobbed.

“shh, its okay, it can be cleaned up, come on.”

she startled when she felt your cold wet hand on hers, but did not hesitate to grip it back. she led you up the wooden stairs and into her room.

“do you want to get cleaned up? let me run you a bath…”

ellie kept herself busy, opening her closet to pick clothes to lend you. she barely registered the fact that you were in her room.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ellie’s room. 

the first time you felt peace in the last 24 hours, and you knew it was because you were surrounded by her essence. by her soft scent. you looked around the room, her desk and windowsills littered with crystals and pretty rocks. her walls full of her sketches of dinosaurs and creatures, bookshelves full of sci-fi, and an unmade bed, it was completely ellie. she had an open sketchbook on her desk, and you could see an outline of a portrait, but before you could look closer, a freckled hand slammed it shut. 

ellie’s cheeks were bright red, she shoved clothes at you and walked toward the bathroom connected to her room.

“i left some salts, a-and bubbles, if you - um, want to use them.” she muttered before leaving you alone, closing the door to the bathroom s

the bathtub was full, and you felt warmth in your chest. 

god, why were you even here? disturbing her peace?

because you desperately needed a friendly face, and she came to mind. and her house was blocks away from your now ex’s house.

you looked down at your dirty shoes and made your way to the bath, softly closing the door behind you.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ellie williams had no idea how to consolidate the fact that her crush was in her bathroom naked. 

her heart was still racing from when she barely prevented you from learning about the sketchbook dedicated to you.

she stared at the ceiling trying to get her breathing in check.

she had no semblance of time, but minutes passed before the door opened. you walked in, hair sticking to your- her shirt. 

you looked tired.

“are you okay? you look tired…” ellie’s voice was soft. she cared for you, and she was concerned. 

you gave her a soft smile, your eyes cast down. 

she had never seen you this shy, her heartbeat thundered in her chest.

“i can give you my bed, sleep.”

“and where will you sleep?”

“the couch!” ellie gave you a smile, she made it as pleasant as she could.

“can you- can you… you know what?” your voice shook, but you took a deep breath and your face morphed to unnerving pleasantness, erasing all traces of sadness. “thank you ellie, you have been so nice to me, thank you for lending me your bed.” your eyes were sad though.

“are you okay? you don’t have to pretend with me you know?” she pursed her lips. “you’re always cheerful, and i just wanted you to know that i am here if you need to talk, i’ll be in the living room.”

she barely registered your facade cracking as she turned to leave.

she felt your hand, now warm, wrap around her wrist.

“stay…” your voice cracked, you let go of her wrist slowly, reluctantly.

her eyes met yours. they were glistening with unshed tears.

“of course.”

“can i turn the lights off? i do want to sleep… i just… don’t want to be alone.”

ellie moved before you did, flipping the lights off.

everything was augmented in the dark. you grabbed her wrist again, she could not see your expression as you led her to her queen-sized bed at the corner of the room.

ellie was completely out of her element. but she wasn’t about to fuck it up.

so she got in the covers. your bare legs brushing hers.

she heard your breaths become uneven, become sniffles. 

she turned to face you, brushing your cheek with her fingers. making out your shadow in the dark.

“i’m so sorry ellie-”

“for what?” ellie furrowed her brows in confusion.

“i am such a nuisance, i never wanted to bother you-”

“hey! no, don’t apologize for that. you are always taking care of everyone, but who takes care of you?”

you stayed silent. 

“let me for the night, okay?”

“you know, this is the longest words we have exchanged in the whole time i’ve known you.” your breaths slowed.

“it’s my fault, i’ve always been so nervous to talk to you?”

you giggled. “why?!”

“you have to know,” she said your name softly, like a prayer. her voice was raspy with nerves, and she could feel where your skin made contact with hers, “you have to know how beautiful you are, every part of you. you have the kindest heart, and the most beautiful smile… and whoever made you cry like that deserves-” 

she felt warm lips on hers, and her rampage died on her lips as she leaned into the kiss.

“you’re cute, williams, take me on a date later, when my eyes are not closing on their own.”

ellie smiled to herself, wrapping her arms around you as you nestled into her, burying your face into the hollow of her neck.

you were going to be alright.

she was there to take care of you, and you were never going to be too much, or not enough for her. perfect. even the faulty parts of you were perfect.