I'm Crying Right Now - Tumblr Posts
I'm sorry I've been playing Age of Calamity since launch....WHEN THE HELL WAS SOOGA A HIDDEN CHARACTER?! HELLO?!?!?
FUCKING TEARING UP RN
Who Do You Love? Pt.2- Ex Eddie Munson x reader, now Steve Harrington x Reader
Word Count: 14.53k
Warnings: Language, angst to fluff, allusions to sex, I think that's everything! if not let me know!
Summary: a continuation of part 1. Reader has to try and move on from Eddie, she remembers the good times. Her friends are there for her, and something seems to blossom between her and Steve. Maybe she'll be ok now.
(gifs not mine!)
Walking away from Eddie was probably the hardest thing you’d ever had to do. You knew you needed to find a payphone and call someone to come get you, you didn’t want to be alone right now. You remembered that the nearest place to have a payphone would be the diner on the corner so that’s exactly where you went. You made your way to the diner trudging along through the cold bitter night. Doing your best to stop more tears from falling down your face, you didn’t know what to do anymore. He had been your best friend before you began dating since you were 7 years old and now it was all gone. Your love was lost and that was that.
You saw the diner and quickly made your way to the payphone that sat outside of it. Reaching the phone you dug through your pockets praying that there would be some change. You finally found enough and you could’ve cried from how relieved you were. Thinking about who to call was easy enough, knowing that Nancy had something she needed to do tonight you decided to call Robin. You knew she and Steve were at work but you couldn’t think of anybody else to call. Not knowing if Steve knew about the situation you were a bit nervous about telling him. You knew how protective he was of you, but that also meant he would come and get you in a heartbeat. The thought of being with the people who do love you made fresh tears come to your eyes. You would be surrounded by warmth and not the freezing emptiness of lost love.
Placing the change in the slot you entered the number and you heard Robin’s voice come through.
---
Robin and Steve were bored at the end of their shift. They knew no more customers were going to come in and so they finished rearranging the movies back into their original places and doing inventory. Suddenly the phone rang and Robin sighed heavily before answering it, her eyes widened at the sound of your voice and she perked up. “(y/n), wait, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” she tried to console you in her very chaotic Robin kind of way. Pretty much in a panic.
Steve overheard the conversation and immediately he was standing by Robin asking what was going on.
You were standing in front of the diner with tears streaming down your face as you tried to explain to Robin what was going on. “I did it, I confronted him. He finally told me, he admitted that he didn’t love me anymore and that he loves Chrissy,” you cried through the phone.
Steve finally snatched the phone from Robin and heard you crying. His eyes went wide at the sound of your sobs through the phone. His worry was skyrocketing as seconds passed. “Woah, Woah, hey, (y/n), what’s going on?” he asked in worry. Your breath hitched at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Steve, can you please come get me, please,” you whimpered. His heart dropped, and his brows furrowed. “Wait, where are you? I’m on my way just tell me where you are,” he said. Robin went and grabbed her stuff from the back as you told Steve where you were.
“Just hang tight, we’ll be there soon ok, go inside don’t stay in the cold. I’ll come and get you ok? I promise we’ll be there soon,” He reassured you and you nodded though he couldn’t see it. “Ok, ok, thank you so much,” you breathed out and hung up the phone.
Your hands were shaking from being completely overwhelmed and in the cold for so long. You walked to the glass doors and stopped as you looked inside. It was the diner you used to go to with Eddie, the corner booth every Saturday morning for breakfast and milkshakes way too late into the night. You didn’t want to go in, you noticed your usual waitress and you cried even more. You had a feeling she would ask where he was and you couldn’t handle telling her what had happened. You decided to just stay outside and wait for them to get there.
You just sat there against the wall, basking in your hurt. You didn’t know what else to do, you lost so much in a matter of minutes and it all was just so overwhelming. Nothing felt real, you could see him in everything around you. You remembered the moments you had in this parking lot in the middle of the night. Dancing around in the rain, stealing kisses, and playing air guitar. Running from him when you stole his lighter, and him catching you around the waist spinning you around till you felt dizzy. Hiding in the corner booth laughing at absolutely everything. Now there was nothing, it meant nothing to him anymore.
You didn’t even hear Steve’s car pull up. They both got out and noticed you sitting right outside. You looked so lost, and it broke their hearts. Robin was the first to reach you, slowly crouching down next to you as Steve did the same in front of you. “Hey, sweetheart,” you heard Steve’s voice and immediately your eyes snapped up noticing both of them there. “I’m sorry,” you said suddenly feeling bad for making them come out here for you. “Why would you be sorry?” he asked with eyes filled with worry. Robin had told him everything on the way over and he was pissed.
“I could’ve just walked home and you wouldn’t have had to come out here,” you said and felt a lump form in your throat. “Don’t be silly, I’m so glad you called us. I would hate you walking home all alone, especially like this,” Robin said and you looked over at her with a watery smile. “Why didn’t you wait inside? it’s freezing out here,” Steve asked. “I couldn’t go in there, I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I keep remembering, I didn’t want to remember, but it doesn’t go away” your voice cracked. He stood up and pulled you to your feet gently. “Well, let’s get you warm, and take you home huh?” he asked and you nodded. You reached forward to grab his hand and looked at Robin beside you and held out your other hand. She took it softly and they guided you to the car.
You slid into the passenger seat while Robin took the back. They knew at that moment that all you needed were your friends and so they were there for you. Steve held your hand as he drove and Robin tried to make you laugh the whole way. Eventually getting some giggles out of you as she told you about an old woman hitting on Steve at the store earlier. You looked over at Steve with a raised brow. He rolled his eyes, “That story is never going to go away is it?” he asked and you both shook your heads. “No way,” you said at the same time and chuckled. Steve smiled at the sound of your laughter, his heart warming at the smile that had slowly been coaxed out of you though small.
He thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and had harbored a crush on you since the night you fought off those Demodogs. His tiny crush had developed over the years and he ended up falling in love with you. When you started dating Eddie his heart broke, he knew that it was over for him. He did what he could to get over you and nothing seemed to work. So the minute you called crying his mind went into overdrive. When Robin told him what had happened his heart hammered in his chest, and he had to fight every instinct to find Eddie and make him pay for what he did to you.
He didn’t realize that his grip on the steering wheel had tightened, and you noticed his grip on your hand got tighter as well. You looked over at him in worry, “Steve,” you said and squeezed his hand. He looked over at you and you could tell that something was wrong. “Steve, what’s wrong?” you asked. “It’s nothing,” he said and tried to smile at you. You didn’t believe a word he said but just nodded. The rest of the drive was silent. You dropped Robin off and before she got out she leaned over the seat to kiss your cheek, “Call me in the morning ok,” she said and you nodded your head. “I will. Love you Robs,” you said and she returned the sentiment before walking into her house.
“Steve, I know that it’s a lot to ask, and you can say no but, um,” you trailed off a bit. Becoming too nervous to ask him to stay for a while. He glanced over at you and squeezed your hand. “Nothing is too much to ask, especially not right now,” he said and tried to soothe your nerves. You took a deep breath, “Would you stay with me for a while? it doesn’t have to be long, I just don’t want to be alone,” you said shyly. “Of course, I’ll stay for as long as you need me ok,” he said and you nodded softly.
You pulled up to your house and slowly got out of the car, and walked up to the door with Steve placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you along. You were thankful for his warm presence not wanting to be in the cold any longer. You felt like you had been left in the snow for months as Eddie slowly left you, and you finally gained the warmth you so desperately needed within your friends.
You unlocked your door and you lead him up the stairs and to your room. He had been there before and so it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen. Posters on the walls and the soft blue bedding that you adored so much. He thought it was absolutely adorable. You still had the bear he had won you at the fair a few years back sitting on your bed next to one that Eddie had won you as well. You quickly snatched the second bear off of the bed and placed it into your closet. You sat on your bed and took a deep breath. “Do you want to talk?” he asked. You shook your head, “Not really, would you mind listening to something with me?” you asked. “Of course not, we can listen to anything you want,” he said and you smiled slightly. “You sure? You don’t mind The Eagles do you?” you asked as you walked to grab the album and put it on. “Not at all,” he said with an encouraging smile. “Hotel California ok?” you asked. “I love that one,” he said despite not knowing the band too well, and most definitely not knowing the songs on the album. You smiled brightly. “That’s awesome, my favorite song has to be either Victim of Love or, of course, Hotel California, or maybe New Kid in Town,” You said and chuckled nervously at your three different options. “Well they’re just too good to choose one huh?” he asked and you chuckled. “You don’t listen to them much do you?” you asked with a tiny smile. “That obvious?” he asked and you shrugged. “Just a bit, that’s ok though, is it still alright if I play them?” you asked. “No, Yeah of course,” he said and ran his hand through his hair. “Now that I think about it, New Kid in Town is my favorite,” you said and smiled. “I think you’ll like that one,” you said before you let the record begin to play.
Hotel California begins and you smile, “I really hope you like it,” you said and looked over at Steve. “I’m sure I will,” he said with a grin. He toed his shoes off and left them by the door and laid his jacket over the back of your desk chair. “Would you mind if I got comfortable?” you asked shyly. You weren’t usually nervous around Steve, but tonight felt different, you felt very vulnerable.
“You can always get comfortable around me, you know I don’t mind,” he said and you nodded your head. You walked to your dresser and opened it just to see that Eddie’s shirt was still sitting in there. You instinctively reached for it but stopped yourself. You took a deep breath before moving it aside to grab an old shirt and a pair of pajama pants.
You walked to the ensuite and turned on the shower. You knew Steve wouldn’t mind waiting for you, he had done it before and so it wasn’t a very big deal.
Steve watched you close the door and sighed heavily. He let himself flop down on the bed and groan. He was so in love with you it hurt. He could smell your perfume on the comforter and that candle you loved so much. He was always hit with the scent of rosewater and ivy as soon as he walked into your room and it was something that always seemed to bring him a sense of comfort. He listened to the music and smiled at the thought of you dancing around your room to it. Singing it on your way to visit them at work, on their lunch break. A smile settled on his face as he sat up and noticed the pictures on your nightstand. In the midst of the group pictures was one framed one. It was one of you and him, you stood in front of him and his arms wrapped around your shoulders with his chin resting on your head. You were in the middle of a laugh, and he remembered that day more clearly than anything.
He sat on the edge of your bed with the picture in hand. His smile was bright as he remembered that day. He didn’t notice that you had walked out. “That’s one of my favorite pictures,” you said. He turned to look at you and saw that you were walking over to him. You looked absolutely adorable, so soft in your pajamas, with no makeup and soft hair resting over your shoulder. You sat down next to him and leaned against his shoulder so you could look at the photo too. He warmed up at the contact, your favorite rosewater body wash made him want to melt. “I was so happy that day, I just couldn’t stop laughing. You just kept making me laugh, it was one of my favorite days with you,” you said and rested your head on his shoulder.
“Really?” he asked almost in disbelief. “Yeah, I mean, You always make me happy. Like now, I can’t thank you enough for that,” you said and looked over at him with a sad smile. He looked over at you after setting the photo back in its place. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always be here ok?” he said and grabbed your hands in his. You nodded your head. “I’ll always be here for you too, anytime you need me,” you said and squeezed his hands.
“I have an idea,” Steve said and got up taking you with him. “And what is that?” you asked. “Let’s listen to your favorite song,” he said and gestured to the record player. You raised your brow as you walked over to the player. “You want to?” you asked. “I’d love to,” he said and you smiled giddily before swiftly moving the needle back to where it needed to be.
“Alright this is it,” you said and smiled when you heard the first notes. As the song starts he walked towards you. He grips your hand and pulled you closer to him. You chuckled when you felt him spin you around. “What are you doing?” you asked and smiled up at him. “We’re dancing,” he said and you giggled. His heart melted at the sound, he watched how happy you were at this moment. He was sad it couldn’t last forever. How anyone could make the mistake of losing someone like you was incomprehensible to him. You were sweet, silly, brave, and smart. Absolutely beautiful with a kind soul. The way your hair moves around when you dance and the way you laugh when you both stumble. The jokes you made and the way your nose scrunched up and your eyes narrowed when he told a bad joke. You just being you.
He had no idea what Eddie was thinking but he knew for a fact that you deserve better than that. And he hoped that just maybe at some point he would get to treat you right.
The night had finally come to an end knowing that it was time for him to go seeing as he worked early tomorrow.
You walked down the stairs with Steve going to walk him out. You got to the door and opened it letting a cool breeze blow into the house. You shivered a bit and looked over at your friend. “I actually really liked that Album,” he said trying his best to get even just a sliver of more time with you. “I’m glad you did, I thought you might,” you said and smiled softly at him. He nodded, “You know, I think I have to say that my favorite would be Wasted Time,” he told you and you bit back a smile and bounced on the balls of your feet. “Yeah?” you asked excitedly. “Yeah,” he laughed lightly. “I’m so glad you liked the record,” you said. “We’ll have to listen to it again,” he said and you nodded happily. “Definitely,” you said and reached up to place your arms around his neck. He smiled and pulled you closer into his embrace. “Thank you, Steve,” you said softly. He could feel your breath against his neck and it made him hold you tighter. “You never have to thank me,” he said and kissed the side of your head.
You pulled away and he could see the tears in your eyes. “You’re not alone ok, you have us. You have me,” he reassured you and you sent him a watery smile. “Love you, Stevie,” you said and hugged him one more time. “Love you too,” he squeezed your hand before telling you goodnight and walking to his car. Oh, how he wished you loved him like he loved you.
You waited until you couldn’t see his lights anymore before you closed the door. Sighing heavily you made the walk back up to your room.
You pushed open the door and looked around, you sighed at the residual warmth Steve had left behind, and tried to focus on that. Tried to focus on your friends. You struggled as you climbed into your bed. You lay down and you couldn’t help but feel the vacancy beside you, now you knew it would never be warmed by the body you loved so much ever again. It was a hollow feeling as you stared at the pillow next to you, not noticing that tears had begun to fall once more. You shut your eyes tightly and clenched the sheets in your fists until your knuckles turned white. Tears soaked your pillow case, and your breath caught in your throat as you tried to hold back the sobs that so desperately wanted to come out.
It was dark and the cold began to creep into the room again, your memories played over again behind your eyelids. The moments of love and happiness slowly made their way to the forefront of your mind.
-
He was lying next to you with that big grin you always loved. He was doing his best not to let out a laugh as you muttered sleepily about something that happened in class that day. He had asked you what grade you had gotten on the final exam and you had first talked about it vigorously. Excited that you had actually passed, but slowly as time dragged by he saw your eyes get heavier and your voice slurring sleepily. He leaned over and tucked a strand of hair away from your face. “Why don’t you get some sleep babe,” he said softly and you shook your head. “No, I didn’t see you very much today. I want to stay up with you,” you said in determination as you rubbed your eyes. “We have all of this weekend to be together, it’s ok to sleep. I’ll be right here,” he said and let his knuckles graze your warm cheek. “You promise, you’ll be here when I wake up?” you asked and reached up to grab his hand in yours. He smiled softly and tangled his fingers with yours. “I promise, You won’t wake up to an empty bed Sweetheart,” he said and kissed your forehead. You nodded drowsily before lifting your chin, tilting your head up silently asking for a kiss. He chuckled and leaned forward to place a kiss on your lips. You hummed happily before tucking yourself into his side. “I love you, Eddie,” you mumbled. “I love you more. I love you forever,” he said and held you tightly against him feeling your breathing even out.
He was right, you didn’t wake up to an empty bed. He was right there.
-
You felt sick as you remembered that night. The last thing you heard was that he would love you forever. Now look at you, he fell in love with someone else and that promise of forever was dust in the wind.
Eventually, you fell asleep, only being able to keep yourself asleep for a few hours before you woke up and couldn’t sleep anymore.
You sat there awake curled up in your blankets, watching out the window as the sun slowly came up. The birds started chirping and the sun sent golden and peach hues across your room. You looked over at your clock and noticed that Robin would be awake by now. Keeping your promise you picked up your phone and dialed her number.
She picked up the phone, “Hey Robs,” you said softly. “Hey, how are you?” she asked, you could hear the frown on her face. “I’m ok,” you told her with a shaky breath. “It’s ok that you’re not ok right now,” she reminded you. You bit your lip and closed your eyes, “I’m really not,” you admitted to her. “Do you want us to come over after work?” she asked you. “No, no it’s ok you don’t have to do that,” you told her. “We don’t mind, really,” she tried to reassure you. “Really Robin you don’t have to,” you said. “Well, you know to give us a call whenever ok? I’m sure Kieth wouldn’t mind seeing as he’s had a crush on you for years,” she said and it made you let out a little chuckle. “Don’t remind me,” you laughed a bit. She smiled despite you not being able to see her. “Just saying you have options,” she joked and you laughed again. “That’s comforting,” you joked back and she laughed. “Alright, well I have to get going Steve is here. Call whenever ok? Love you,” she said and you smiled softly. “I love you too Robin,” she hung up the phone and you sighed before curling back into your blankets. You heard a knock on your door and you sighed. “Honey, can I come in?” you heard your mother call. You knew you couldn’t say no. “Come in mom,” you said and she opened the door. She saw you tangled in your sheets, “What’s going on?” she asked and sat on the edge of your bed. “It’s nothing mom, I’m fine,” you tried to deter her. “You’ve been crying honey,” she said and pushed your hair back. You knew you couldn’t avoid it forever. “I broke up with Eddie last night,” you told her and shut your eyes tight. You didn’t want to see her expression. “Oh, “ she cooed. “What happened?” she asked. “He doesn’t love me anymore, he’s been sneaking around with Chrissy Cunningham for 2 months,” you explained and took a shaky breath. You looked at her to see anger in her eyes. “That asshole,” she cursed and your eyes widened. You rarely ever heard her curse. “Mom,” you said in surprise. “It’s true. How dare he do that to you. The best thing that’s ever happened to that boy he just lost,” she stated matter of factly. “Would you like me to call his uncle?” she asked and your jaw dropped. “Oh my god, mother no. No, don’t do that,” you pleaded with fervor. “Alright, alright, but if you need anything you call me ok, I picked up an extra shift today so I’ll be home a bit late,” she told you and kissed your head. “Ok, mom, I’ll see you later, Have a good day,” you said and watched as she closed the door. You heard the front door close and you looked over at your nightstand.
Most of the pictures you had were of and with Eddie. You sat up slowly and picked one up. It was of you and him on your 18th birthday last year. Eddie was on your porch swing with you resting your head in his lap. You were looking at each other with bright smiles. It was one of your favorite days, and now those are gone.
You got out of your bed and went downstairs to maybe find a box of some sort. When you finally found one you walked back into your room. Silently you started putting Eddie’s things into the box. His old shirts and sweaters that you had stolen over the years, the gifts he gave you. You grabbed the teddy bear from the closet and took a good look at it before tossing it in the box. You threw in spare picks that always slipped from his pockets when he tossed his jeans to the floor. Lastly, you took off the necklace he gave you and put it into the box, your neck was suddenly bare and it made you uneasy. After all these years of wearing the small star pendant around your neck, you put it in the box to give away. You remembered you were about 15 when he won it for you at the arcade.
You sighed and set the box next to your door. You decided that taking a shower would be good for you, to wash away the tear stains and the emotions of yesterday so you could try and start over.
As the day dragged on you heard a knock at the door and your brows furrowed not knowing who it could be. You opened the door and there stood Robin and Nancy. They both held bags filled with what looked like snacks, movies, and tissue boxes. “We brought everything,” Nancy said and your heart clenched at the thought of your friends caring so much about you. “I heard what happened, I’m so sorry (y/n),” Nancy said and stepped forward to hug you as best as she could while holding the bags. You hugged her back and sighed at the comforting feeling. “Come in you guys it’s cold,” you said and stepped aside so they could walk in. “You really didn’t have to do this,” you said as they set the stuff on the counter. “But we wanted to. Steve said sorry he couldn’t be here, he had to work late,” Robin said and you shook your head in dismissal. “It’s ok, I didn’t expect you all anyway. I didn’t expect anyone,” you said. “We didn’t want you to be alone,” Robin said and hugged you.
“Do you guys just want to go upstairs?” you asked and they both nodded. “Yeah sure,” Nancy picked up the bags again and they followed you up the stairs.
You reached your room and opened the door. They both noticed the box by the door but said nothing. “How have you been?” Nancy asked as you all sat on your bed. “Well, it’s honestly been really hard,” you said and looked down trying not to get emotional once again. “I know it must be hard, I’m so sorry. He was an asshole to do that to you,” Nancy said and rested a hand on your shoulder. “I could barely sleep. He wasn’t there, I mean he hasn’t been here in a while but It just hit me that he’d never be here again. I’d never wake up to that sleepy smile and mess of frizzy curls. I’d never get another I love you before falling asleep. He’s gone, and he has been for a long time,” you finally let out. Their expressions were sympathetic. “I know it only happened yesterday but, things will get better. You’ll find someone new, I promise,” Nancy said and you scoffed trying to hold back tears. “That’s the problem, I never wanted anyone else,” your voice cracked. “You know, I look at you and I see the sweetest and most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I see you, and I see someone who could be just as strong by herself as she felt with a guy. I see someone unstoppable who just hit a bump in the road and believe me when I say this. You’ll be ok,” Robin rambled on a bit and a sad smile came to your face. Tears had fallen down your cheeks, and you leaned against your friend just letting yourself cry. “I really love you guys,” you choked out and Nancy leaned over to join in on the hug. “We love you too, now how about we try and get your mind off of this for a while huh?” Nancy asked and you nodded.
The rest of the night went well, and after they left you got a call from Steve.
“Hey, (y/n/n). I’m sorry I couldn’t be there tonight,” he said and you sniffled, still getting over the tears you cried while Nance and Robin were over. “It’s ok Steve,” you said and he frowned at the sound of your hoarse voice. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked and before you could say no, the box of Eddie’s things caught your eye. “Is there any chance that you could come by tomorrow?” you asked nervously. He perked up a bit and nodded his head despite you not being able to see it. “Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll be there,” he said and you felt a gratefulness bloom in your chest. Thankful for the people you had in your life. “You can just come by in the morning,” you said, “Do you need me to bring anything?” he asked. “No, just you,” you sighed. “Well then, I’ll see you in the morning,” he told you and you smiled a bit. “Goodnight Steve,” you said and he bid you goodnight before you hung up.
Once again the night was hard, tossing and turning. Watching the sunrise again you sighed and turned away from the window. It was about 8 when you decided to get up, so you’d be ready when Steve came over. You wanted to look decent enough to take the box of Eddie’s things back to him.
You put on your coziest burgundy sweater and a pair of dark jeans with your converse. A knock sounded on the door and you went to open it. Steve stood there with a bouquet of flowers for you. Your heart warmed at the sight and you smiled softly. “I didn’t know which ones to get so, I chose the prettiest ones. Well, I thought they were the prettiest, I don’t know if you would, but I did. So, yeah, these are for you,” he said and handed the bunch of flowers to you. Your smile widened. “They’re beautiful Steve, thank you,” you said and let him in. You walked into the kitchen, grabbed a vase, and filled it with water before placing the flowers in.
“I was wondering, um, I have some things to give back to Eddie. I’m scared to go by myself and I was wondering if you’d go with me?” you asked shyly and looked away from him. He walked over to you and placed a hand on your face, gently turning so you'd look at him. “I’ll go with you, you don’t have to be scared ok, I’ll be there,” he said “What if she’s there?” you asked and he looked down at you with firm reassurance in his eyes. “Even if she is, I won’t let anything happen. I’ll go in for you if you want me to, you don’t even have to see him,” he said. You bit your lip and felt a flood of comfort wash over you at the look in his eyes. “I can do it, just please be with me,” you said and reached out to grab his hand. “I’m there the whole way,” he said and kissed your head.
Steve grabbed the box from your floor and put it in the trunk of his car. He got into the driver’s seat and looked over at you. “You ok?” he asked and you slowly nodded. “I’m ok, let’s go,” you said and he grabbed your hand. You were trying to muster up the courage as you held his hand tighter in yours. The ride was mostly silent, and it wasn’t uncomfortable it was soothing.
You pulled up to the trailer and sighed heavily. His van was there so there was really no avoiding him at this point. Steve put the car in park and took a glance over at you, “Are you ready?” he asked and you shook your head. “That’s ok, we can wait for a bit,” he said and squeezed your hand. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, doing your best not to remember all the times he carried you up those stairs. How he chased you around the yard with the water hose in the summer.
You knew you had to get it over with and so you decided it was time. “Ok, I’m ready,” you said and nodded at him. “Alright, I’ll get the box,” he said and got out to open the trunk. You hesitantly stepped out of the car and wrung your hands as you stared at the door. Steve stood next to you, “Ok, let’s go,” you breathed out and made your way up the steps. You knocked on the door with shaking hands. Steve placed a hand on your back comfortingly easily holding the box with one arm. You heard shuffling and the door opened.
There he stood with his messy hair and those big brown eyes you loved so much. He looked like he had just gotten up.
His eyes widened at the sight of you, “(y/n), what are you doing here?” he asked and looked past you at Steve. He furrowed his brows.
“I came to give you your stuff back,” you said and took the box from Steve. You could see the guilt in his eyes as he looked at you. “Eds?” you heard a soft voice call from behind him. Your breath hitched in your throat and you almost dropped the box. “Shit, sorry hold on,” he said and held up a finger before disappearing from sight. You glanced over at Steve and he could see that you were struggling to keep it together. “Who is it?” you heard her voice ask. “It’s no one, just go back to bed Chris,” His words broke your heart even more. “It’s no one? You’re no one now?” you asked yourself in your head. Your grip on the box tightened as you felt a lump form in your throat. “Just give me a minute, I’ll be right back babe,” you heard him say. You took a deep shaky breath before just setting the box down. “Can we leave now?” you asked Steve. “Of course, we can let’s go, sweetheart,” he said and just as you began to walk away Eddie came back to the door. He saw you walking away and quickly walked down the steps. “Wait, (y/n), just wait,” he said. Steve slightly pushed you behind him as you stopped walking.
“What do you want Munson?” Steve asked, you could hear the anger in his voice. You looked at Eddie and he could see the tears in your eyes. “Just let me talk to her, I’m not trying to fight with you Harrington,” Eddie said in frustration.
“You don’t get to talk to her, not after what you did. Haven’t you done enough, you broke her heart isn’t that enough for you? What more could you want?” Steve spat at him. He looked at Steve with his jaw clenched tightly. He knew what he did, and he felt horrible. He wanted to try and salvage anything he could. “Eddie, you should just go back to Chrissy she’s waiting for you. Don’t try and make things right because it won’t ever be right again. You lost me for good, so just don’t try ok? Just don’t,” you said with as much strength as you could muster. “I’m sorry,” he said with pleading eyes daring to take a step forward. Steve pushed him back, “Don’t.” he growled. But he was persistent, “Just one minute,” he pleaded again. You took a small step out from behind Steve, and you could a spark of hope in his eyes. “I gave you 2 whole months to explain yourself Edward. 2 months, I’m done waiting for an explanation. I heard all I needed to. I’m no one now huh?” you asked as your voice broke. His face fell, “No, just please. You’re not no one, I just didn’t want her out here. Not right now, just told her to go back to bed,” he said and Steve looked over at you. That used to be your bed, not hers. “Well she’s waiting for you in there so why don’t you just go back to bed with your new girlfriend and leave me alone,” you tried to be harsh but your voice fell at the end. Looking at what he had done made him break knowing he’d lost any semblance of anything with you.
“You come near her again Munson, and I swear I’ll kick your ass,” Steve threatened. You could hear the rage he had and saw it on his face when you looked at him. You knew it was time to leave.
You grabbed Steve’s wrist and gently tugged him toward the car. He looked over at you and began to walk away wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulder as he guided you to the car.
Eddie could see the slight shake of your shoulders as you walked away, he knew you were crying and his heart broke. He wanted you in his life, but he knew that you were right. He lost you for good. That’s the last time you spoke to him.
---
You stopped going to Hellfire and stopped sitting with the boys every day. You sat with Nance and Robin. Chrissy had taken your place at the Hellfire table and all of the boys grew slightly uncomfortable by her presence. They missed you at their meetings, and they missed the random stories and jokes you made. You smiled and waved when you passed their table, stopping by for a visit when Eddie wasn’t there. You always made sure they were ok whenever you could.
“Hey boys, you said as you walked over to them seeing a clear opportunity to speak with them. “Hey, (y/n)!” Jeff said excitedly and you chuckled. “How are you guys?” you asked. “We’re ok, it’s just not the same without you. We miss you,” Dustin said and you wore a sad smile. “I miss you guys too, I’m sorry about everything,” you said feeling guilty about not spending as much time with them. “Don’t be sorry, we understand. It’s not your fault, we just can’t stand Chrissy for much longer,” Gareth said and you laughed. “That bad?” you asked with a bit of a grimace. They all nodded. “She knows nothing about D&D, all she wants to talk about is cheerleading and the sports games. She’s not very funny either,” Mike complained and you chuckled. “Oh really?” you asked with a raised brow. “Definitely,” Lucas said. You smiled, “Well you guys are always welcome to sit with me whenever you want to ok?” you said and squeezed Jeff’s shoulder. “Really?” they asked. “Of course, anytime,” you said. Before anyone could say anything else Eddie and Chrissy walked over and sat down. You could feel him look at you, and you tried not to curl in on yourself. It felt gross that you felt like you had to cower away from him when you used to tuck yourself into his side and kiss his cheek.
“I’ll talk to you guys later,” you gave a soft smile at the boys. Walking away you sighed but tried to keep your head up, not wanting him to see that you were still hurt. It had been about 3 weeks since everything happened and you didn’t have to go through it alone. Nancy, Robin, and Steve were there for you the whole time. You had been growing closer and closer to Steve.
There was something about him that you just felt that you needed. He was warm and bright he made you feel safe and like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
He took you to school every morning, and always picked you up first, and you were glad because it meant that you got more time with him. You found comfort in his bad jokes, sweet smile, and weird facts he heard from Dustin. You didn’t know but he had asked Dustin about D&D so he could try and talk with you about it. Dustin ended up telling you that he asked and you thought it was the sweetest thing ever.
Months had passed by and things had gotten better, your heart had had time to mend. With the help of your friends, you were able to realize that you deserved better than that. Lately, you had been looking at Steve differently, you began to see something you didn’t before. He was always there for you, almost every time he would come by he would bring flowers for you. You spent more and more time just you two on your own and you had begun to feel a crush grow, that feeling settled about a month in.
You didn’t expect to find someone again especially not so quickly and have it be one of the people you were closest to.
It was a Friday morning when Steve came to pick you up for school. Unbeknownst to you, Steve had finally mustered up the courage to ask you out. He just had to keep himself together until you got to school.
You had found yourself putting in the slightest bit more effort in the mornings. You heard Steve honk and walked out to see him leaning against the side of the car, you smiled and walked over to him. He opened his arms and you wrapped yours around him. “Morning, (y/n)” he said. “Morning Stevie,” you said as he opened the door for you. His heart raced when he felt your arms tightly wrapped around him.
About 2 weeks after the incident Steve had gotten Hotel California on cassette so you could listen to it in the car whenever you wanted to. It was already playing when you got in and you smiled brightly, Steve looked over at you and felt his heart melt at the sight of you so happy.
“Ready?” he asked as he put the car into gear. “Yup, ready for the week to be over,” you said and chuckled. “I’m sure Robin is too,” he said and you nodded. You hummed along to the music, ending up singing when your favorite song came on, Steve sang with you seeing as he knew the words after hearing it so much. He pulled up to Robin’s and honked the horn, he rested his arm on the console as he waited for her to come out. You quietly reached over and tangled your fingers with his. He looked down and over at you. You had a blush and a soft smile as you glanced at him. He squeezed your hand and feeling emboldened by your actions picked up your hand and pressed a kiss to it sweetly. Your smile brightened and so did his. You heard the door open and a loud sigh as Robin got in the car. Your hand never left his, “Good morning Robin, you ready to get this over with?” you asked and she sighed once again. “Yes, shit, I’m so ready for this to be over,” she whined and you chuckled. “Me too,” you said and gave her a smile.
“What’s got you so huffy?” Steve asked, “I have a test I absolutely need to pass and I’m not ready for it,” she said and you rolled your eyes. “You are so ready for it Robs, I helped you study almost all week, you’ve got this,” you said. “I don’t know,” she spoke, “Well, I do. I know you will pass and you’ll be so relieved,” you encouraged her. “Yeah?” she asked. “Definitely,” you said.
Steve smiled over at you as you encouraged your friend. You were a good friend and that was something he loved about you. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles and you pulled his hand into your lap placing your other hand over it tracing patterns on the back of his hand. You got to school and he parked. You were about to get out when he asked you to stay for a minute.
“(y/n/n), can you stay for just a second?” he asked and you nodded. “Yeah, of course, are you ok?” you asked. “I’m ok, I just-” he paused
“I was wondering if you’d uh if you’d maybe like to go out with me?” he asked nervously. You blushed and bit your lip to hold back the excited smile. “I’d love to go out with you, Steve,” you said. He let out a breath and smiled, “Ok, that’s-that’s great. I’m off early today, so maybe we could go to the drive-in. I’ll pick you up at 7?” he asked. You let your smile show, and your cheeks were flushed. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll see you at 7 Steve,” you said and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He watched you as you walked away and over to where Robin was waiting for you. He could see you excitedly talking to her, taking a glance back at him you waved. He waved back before you turned to walk into the school.
That was just the beginning for you and Steve.
Little did you know that things with Eddie and Chrissy were just starting to go downhill. He watched from just outside his van a cigarette between his lips as you kissed Steve’s cheek. He noticed the blush on your cheeks and heard your excited rambling to Robin about Steve asking you out. He saw your bright-eyed glance and shy wave. He couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten at the sight of you giving that look to someone else. That was the look you gave him, and it made his heart ache. He could tell that something bigger than a date was going to happen between you and he couldn’t help but feel jealous. He stomped the cigarette out and made his way into the school. He walked past you and Robin at your locker. He saw all the pictures had been replaced. It wasn’t you and him anymore, it was the kids, it was you, Robin, and Nancy. It was you and Steve. He quickly found Chrissy and leaned down to press a kiss on her lips but she turned her head so it landed on her cheek instead. He looked at her with slight hurt, he knew something was up with her, it had been for about a week now.
She was looking at him differently and sometimes just not bothering to look at all.
You walked into the cafeteria and found the girls, as you went to go sit with them three people came to block your path. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike stood in front of you with large smiles. More like shit-eating grins. You looked at them with raised brows. “What are you doing?” you asked. “We heard about what happened this morning. Is it true?” Dustin asked. You shot a glare over at Robin and she shrugged guiltily. You sighed. “Did Steve ask you out?” Mike pushed. “That’s for me to know ok, not you,” you said and gently pushed past them. “C’mon, Robin already told us, just admit it,” Lucas said and you shook your head. You stayed silent and you heard them groan about it before walking away. You sat down by Nancy and she smiled knowingly at you gently nudging you. “So it’s true?” she asked and you smiled shyly. “Yeah, it is ok. He asked me out this morning, we’re going to the drive-in later,” you explained to her as you did to Robin earlier.
“I’m so happy for you,” she said and you blushed. “Thanks, Nance,” you said. “Would you mind coming over after school to help me get ready?” you asked them. “Yeah, of course,” She said. They could both tell how excited you were, and they knew Steve was too seeing as he had obviously been in love with you for years.
The school day ended, and you exited the school with a skip in your step. Nancy and Robin chuckled at how happy you were. You didn’t even notice those big brown eyes watching you as you walked away.
You got home and they helped you get ready, you decided to wear a baby blue striped shirt tucked into your favorite pair of jeans. Your white converse and light makeup. Nothing over the top but just enough.
The girls had left and so it was just you, it was almost 7 and your nerves had set in. You were never nervous around Steve but this was a little different, this was a date.
You heard a knock at the door and quickly ran down the stairs, you slowed to a casual walk as you opened the door. Steve stood there with flowers in his hand and a nervous smile. “Hi,” you breathed out with a smile. “Hey, I uh, I got you these, I remember you saying you liked daisies and so I thought you’d like these,” he said and you took them gratefully. “I love them, Steve, thank you. Come in,” you said and stepped aside to let him in. “I just have to put these in some water and we can go,” you said and quickly finished your task.
“You look beautiful,” he said as you walked to his car. You blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Thank you, you look handsome as always,” you said and smiled when he blushed. “Thank you,” he said quickly, you could tell he was flustered. He opened the door for you. Before you got into the car you stood on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He smiled down at you as you turned to get into the car.
The drive to the movie was filled with comfortable conversation and casual flirting. Him doing his best to keep the blush on your cheeks. You got to the movie and chuckled when you saw it was Stand By Me, “You remembered?” you asked giddily. “Yeah, I did. I thought you’d like it,” he said and his heart warmed at the sheer happiness he saw light up your features. “This is perfect,” you said and turned to him with a big smile.
You had mentioned wanting to see the movie a while ago, and he thought it was the perfect time to take you.
He watched you more than the movie, just seeing your reactions to everything was adorable to him. At one point you had mindlessly reached over to intertwine your fingers, holding his hand with both of yours close to your heart when something big happened. The end had made you cry but you loved it more than anything. You laughed at Steve’s comments made throughout the movie, taking time to observe the way the light from the screen lit up his features. He really was beautiful, and he thought the same thing about you.
The drive home was far too short for your liking as you had just turned down your street.
“You know, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time,” you admitted and he smiled over at you. “I can tell, you have a glow,” he said and looked down shyly. “You do, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he said and came to a stop outside of your house. “You’re too sweet to me, did you know that?” you asked softly. He reached over and placed a hand on your cheek to make you look at him. “No one could ever be sweet enough for you sweetheart,” he said and you smiled softly. He leaned his forehead against yours for a few seconds, you reached up and placed a hand over the one that was on your cheek.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said softly before letting you go and coming around to open the door for you. He held out his hand and helped you out of the car. You linked your arm with his and held his hand as he walked you to the door.
You stepped into the porch light and turned to look at him. He was smiling down at you, “Tonight was really great, Steve, thank you,” you said bashfully. “I’m glad you had a good time, so did I,” he said and took a tentative step closer to you. He had wanted to kiss you for the longest time. He wanted to know if your lips were as soft as they looked if they were as sweet as you were. He placed a hand on your waist and gave you a chance to back away from him but when you didn't he brought you closer to him. You looked up at him through your lashes and he swore his heart stopped when you ran your hands up his chest and over his shoulders. He let his other hand rest on the back of your neck. Leaning down he watched your eyes flutter shut and felt butterflies in his stomach as his lips grazed yours. He felt you push up slightly on your toes to press a plush kiss against his lips. He sighed at the feeling of you so close to him, your kiss was soft and just as sweet as he imagined. He pulled you flush against his chest and felt you card your fingers through his hair trying to be as close as possible. You lightly tilted your head to the right letting your nose brush his as you moved. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and you let out a soft hum against his mouth. He slowly pulled away and a grin formed on his face at the sight of you. Your lipgloss was slightly smudged and your lips kiss swollen. You giggled a bit as you looked up at him. “What are you laughing at?” he asked and ran his thumb along your jawline. You moved your hand to tenderly wipe away the lipgloss that had transferred onto his lips from yours. “You had lipgloss on you,” you said and smiled up at him.
“Can I have some more?” he flirted. You laughed softly before holding his shoulders and pressing one swift kiss on his lips. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said and you let your hands drop as he let you go. Your cheeks were rosy as you looked at him and he smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” you asked and he nodded his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, (y/n),” he said as you opened the door and stepped into the house. He walked to his car with a huge grin on his face, he knew that would be the first of many dates to come and he swore it was the best kiss he’d ever had.
A few dates later and he asked you to be his girlfriend. You of course accepted the offer, and now a month later, you were on the last day before the summer break. You had worn your new yellow sundress and a wide smile spread across your lips.
You walked with Robin to the school entrance, finally ready to spend as much time with your boyfriend and friends as possible. “You know Robs, I swear if I work at Family Video Keith is gonna be a lot more weird than usual,” you told her. “C’mon, Steve and I will keep him at bay. All you’d have to do is smile and he would give you the job,” she said and you chuckled. “I probably could get him to let us go early now and again,” you said, contemplating her offer. “Exactly, you’d get more time with Steve too, and me of course, your favorite,” she said and you laughed and rested your head on her shoulder for a second. “Alright, alright, I’ll apply,” you said. “Yes! Now I don’t have to be stuck alone with a mopey Steve Harrington,” she said and you furrowed your brows. “Mopey?” you asked. “He gets mopey when you’re gone,” she said and you chuckled. As you walked you didn’t notice someone walking right in front of you until you bumped into them. “Oh, crap,” you yelped as you almost fell over. Luckily the person caught you before you fell. You chuckled at the ordeal and looked up. There stood the boy who broke your heart months before. “Sorry, I almost knocked you over. Are you alright?” he asked and awkwardly drew his hands away from your arms. You felt a pang in your chest as you looked at him, he had been your best friend since you were 7 and this is the first time you’d spoken in months. “I’m, uh, yeah. I’m ok thanks. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said. “Don’t worry about it,” he breathed out. You shook your head and sighed before putting on your best smile. “Well, I’ve got to go. Have a nice summer,” you said before linking arms with Robin and walking away. She gave you a look silently asking if you were ok. You just smiled, “I’m fine, I’m just happy to be done with this fucking place. It’s over,” you nudged her.
You didn’t notice the pair of eyes on you as you talked with your friend. Eddie didn’t know what it felt like when he did what he did to you. He didn’t understand until he watched Chrissy slip away just like you’d watch him do to you. He was heartbroken when she broke up with him and went back to Jason. She told him that she just didn’t want him anymore, and he can’t imagine how bad it must have hurt you as you sat next to him, and lay in his bed when you had the feeling that someone else lied there when you were gone.
You were in that pretty yellow sundress, and your hair framed your face. A soft peach dusted your cheeks and a baby pink lingered on your lips. He couldn’t help but stare as you walked away from him, hearing your voice speaking directly to him for the first time in so long made his stomach turn. He missed you now that everything was over, and his jealousy was ever-present when he saw you with Steve. He had heard from the boys that you were he asked you to e his girlfriend, and it made him sick.
Walking out the doors and into the parking lot, you were going to head toward Nancy’s car when you saw your boyfriend parked right in front. Robin smiled at the way your face lit up, she had known Steve was getting off early so he could spend the rest of the day with you. You let out an excited laugh, and your smile widened as you looked at Steve leaning against his car. “Steve!” you shouted in excitement. “Baby!” he yelled and opened his arms ready to meet you halfway. You took off across the lot and jumped into his waiting arms. He let out a huff at the impact and laughed at the way you held onto him.
“You’re here,” you breathed out happily and pulled back to look at him. He smiled down at you, “I wanted to surprise you, I got the rest of the day off so we could spend it together,” he said and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Really?” you asked with a wide-eyed gaze. “Really,” he said and you pushed up on your toes to press your lips to his. Your arms went around his neck and he moved his to your waist.
All of a sudden you were off of the ground and being spun around. Your eyes opened as you let out a yelp and you heard Steve chuckle at the surprise on your face. You laughed before Steve set you down on your feet. You held onto his arms to regain your balance, “I missed you, Steve,” you said as you felt your cheeks ache from smiling so much. “I missed you too Sweetheart,” he said and leaned down to press another kiss on your lips. “You look beautiful today,” he said and you blushed. “Really, I think yellow is your color,” he said and you chuckled. “You think so?” you teased. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” he responded and took your hand. He twirled you and your dress flared out slightly.
Robin looked behind her to see if Nancy was there yet but all she saw was Eddie staring at you and Steve. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. She could tell he was jealous, and she knew he didn’t really have a right to be.
You looked radiant as you twirled around. Your smile was the brightest thing he had seen in months, and the look in your eyes was the way you used to look at him. He was beginning to realize just how much he had lost. He didn’t just lose your love, but he lost your friendship. He remembered what you said to him, he lost the one person who was ready to love him for the rest of her life. She found someone else to love, and who loved her just as much. The sight of you kissing him made him shut his eyes tightly and fight off tears he didn’t have the right to cry. He did this to himself. He made his bed and now he has to lay in it. He has to watch you love someone else with everything you had in you. Eddie could tell that there was a future there for you both, and he just had to accept that he wouldn’t be a part of yours anymore.
The thought of having slept with Chrissy in his bed made him sick. It made him think of how you must have felt, knowing that your sacred little space with him. Just for you and him and those intimate moments had been defiled by something that was never real. He had brought Chrissy into his bed where you had had countless amounts of the best moments of your years together and ruined it. He brought rot into the beautiful garden that you had grown with him, where your relationship had bloomed in more ways than one. He ripped up the flowers where your body used to lay and replaced them with gravel and barren ground.
Knowing that you slept beside someone else and found comfort in the arms of another was hard.
He heard loud laughter and saw that Steve had picked up bridal style and carried you to his car. He set you down and you leaned against the passenger door while he stood in front of you. He could see your hands locked around his waist and heard Steve laughing. Knowing damn well that you were making some dumb joke that you made up. Eddie turned to walk away when he saw him lean down and press kisses on your face as you laughed.
He didn’t want to see it anymore.
Steve opened the door for you and you got in. He walked to the other side and slid into the car. “Isn’t Robin coming?” you asked seeing as he would usually take her home too when he came to get you.
“Nancy’s taking her. I told you I wanted to spend time with you,” he said and you leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“I got something for you,” he said with a big smile. “What? You didn’t have to get me anything,” you said. “I wanted to. Now we have another album to listen to,” Steve spoke and handed you the cassette. It was Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. “I love this album,” you said softly and looked over at him with bright eyes. “Now, I know this one pretty well ok. I can get down to Dreams,” he said and you laughed out loud. “You can get down to Dreams?” you teased his wording. “Yeah, actually I can. I’ll just have to show you,” he stated and you laughed again. “Well, I guess I could get down to Dreams too,” you said and smiled. “That’s my girl,” he kissed your hand.
The drive to his house was mostly singing and occasional kissing at stoplights. Things had progressed well and your heart was fuller than ever.
You got to his house and immediately he whisked you away into his bedroom. You took off your shoes and set them by the door, placing your bag by his desk. He smiled as he watched you make yourself comfortable in his room like it was your own. He had always wanted this, he knew it was selfish but he always wanted it to be him you went home with, and him you kissed goodnight. He wanted to hold you while you slept and see you in his clothes. He never thought it would happen but here you are. He barely noticed that you had grabbed a pen and a sticky note.
The thought just popped into your head when you saw the pen and small piece of paper. You scribbled a small note for him.
“Dearest Steve,
I just wanted to remind you that I love you. My heart is yours love.
All my love, always, (y/n)”
You placed a small heart alongside the message and smiled before setting it in an obvious spot so he’d see it. You turned around and noticed him looking at you, “Steve, you ok?” you asked and walked over to him. A smile formed on his face, and he reached out to you grabbing your waist to pull you close. “I’m perfect,” he said and you smiled before reaching up to move a strand of hair from his face. “Yeah, you are aren’t you?” you said genuinely and just took your time to admire him. “Nowhere near as perfect as you,” he said and leaned down to rest his forehead against yours. “We’re not starting this Harrington,” you laughed softly and you could practically feel his smile against your lips. “Alright, alright,” he said and pressed a firm kiss against your lips before pulling away. He looked down at you to see your eyes closed and a small smile placed on your lips. You looked contented and it warmed his heart that he could make you feel that way.
Your eyes opened and he swore he saw them sparkle, “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that,” you said with a big grin. “Oh really?” he asked and you nodded your head. “Ever?” he asked. “Ever,” you confirmed and he chuckled. “I know, I’ll never get tired of that,” he said and leaned into your touch as you placed your hands on his cheeks. You gently tugged him down and let your lips graze his pressing a feather-light kiss to his bottom lip. He squeezed your waist and pressed his lips fully against yours, parting your lips to let his tongue glide with yours. Your hands ran up and tangled in his hair.
You could barely describe the feeling of him this close to you. He was all-encompassing, a surrounding warmth after the very first snowfall of winter. You had never experienced a kiss like his. It was the sun that a flower needed to bloom, and you felt a field of wildflowers bloom in your chest at the touch of his lips to yours.
He felt your chest flush against him and swore he felt your heartbeat against his. Kissing you was everything he imagined and more, the taste of that lemon lip balm you loved to use, and the smell of roses overwhelmed his senses in the best way. He never felt that way when he kissed Nancy, it was never that sweet. Every kiss felt brand new, every move your body made to get closer to him was intoxicating. You felt like satin when he touched you, you fit against him like a missing puzzle piece. It seemed that you were made for each other.
You pulled away, and both of you breathed heavily. You let out a soft breathless laugh at the smile on his face.
“I love you, Steve,” you said and his eyes lit up. “You love me?” he asked softly. “Yeah, I do. I love you,” you said and reached to grab his hands from where they sat on your waist. You tangled your fingers with his and held them tightly. “I love you too. I love you so much,” he said and kissed both of your hands.
In a flurry, you were tossed off the ground onto his bed. You bounced up with a laugh and watched as he kicked off his shoes and climbed on next to you. He looked over at you before bringing you to his side, carefully tucking you close to him. You wrapped your arm around his waist and let your leg rest over his hip. “You know, I didn’t realize that I could love someone as much as I love you,” he said and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. You looked up at him. “What about Nancy?” you asked with slightly furrowed brows. He reached up and smoothed the crease between them, “I did love her, she was my first love. But I want you to be my last,” he said and your eyes teared up. He frowned at the tears in your eyes. “What’s wrong? What did I say?” he asked nervously. “Nothing, it’s nothing. I just… this-this feels so real.” your voice broke a bit. “Is that a good thing?” he asked. With worry still present in his voice and eyes. “It’s a great thing, Steve, it’s a great thing,” you said and reached up to stroke his cheek. He smiled down at you, “It will always be real,” he said and kissed your forehead.
“I’ll always make it feel real,” he said and let his hand on your thigh move upward tentatively. Your dress rode up at his movements and your breath hitched when he ran his fingers over the lacey edge of your panties. “Show me how real it is,” you breathed out softly.
---
When you woke a few hours later, it was because the phone was ringing. You took in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open. “Just let it ring babe,” you heard Steve’s sleepy voice in the almost dark room. The sun was almost set when your bleary eyes looked out the window.
You listened to Steve and once again buried your face in his neck and his large hand splayed across your back to keep you close.
You hummed against his skin when he placed a lazy kiss on your hairline. Just as you were about to fall asleep the phone rang again. “I’ll get it,” you sighed. “No, c’mon babe,” Steve tried to stop you. “What if it’s the kids?” you asked. “Ugh fine,” he said and dropped his head back to the pillow. You grabbed the phone. “Hello?” you answered. “Hey, (y/n), why didn’t you pick up the first time?” Dustin's voice came ringing through. You sighed once again, “We were sleeping Dustin, what do you need?” you asked. “I need you guys to pick me up from Hellfire,” he said deciding not to acknowledge your excuse and the line went silent for a few seconds. You contemplated it, “Why? Can’t Eddie take you home?” you asked. “No, he has some business to take care of on the other side of town,” Dustin said as if it was a big secret. You groaned. “Alright Dustin, when?” you asked. “Like now,” he said and your eyes widened. “Fucks sake, ok, ok we’ll be right there,” you said and sat up holding the covers to your chest. Steve looked at you in confusion. You hung up the phone and looked over at your boyfriend. “Dustin needs us to pick him up from Hellfire,” you told him while reaching up to run your hand through his tousled hair. He groaned in annoyance. “Are you kidding me?” he asked and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nope, c’mon. We gotta go,” you said and tried to move from the bed. “He can wait for a few minutes longer,” Steve said and tried to pull you back to him. “We can’t just leave him waiting Steve,” you said and leaned over to kiss his head. He cracked one eye open. “You sure?” he asked. “I’m sure babe, c’mon,” you said and slowly moved to get out of bed. Your legs were still a bit wobbly as you stood. Steve smiled at you softly, “You alright there?” he asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice. You glared at him, “I’m just fine,” you said and stumbled a bit. He quickly sat up and reached to steady you. “Alright sweetheart, let’s sit you down for now,” he said and sat you down on the bed again. You huffed and he chuckled. “Your fault Harrington,” you pointed at him and he smiled at you over his shoulder as he rifled through his closet. Finally finding what he wanted he walked back over to you. He held your favorite yellow sweater of his and you smiled. “Arms up,” he said and you looked at him with a raised brow. “I can do it myself,” you said. “But I want to,” he said and you giggled softly. “Alright,” you said and raised your arms. He slid the sweater over your frame and smoothed down your ruffled hair when it was on.
He found a pair of pajama shorts you left last time and slipped them up your legs and over your hips. He placed a kiss on the band and smiled up at you. You smiled right back, “Thanks Stevie,” you said. “Anything for my baby,” he said as he got himself together before grabbing his keys. You slipped on your shoes and he escorted you out of the door. You got into the car and the music was on low as you drove the dark streets. Your legs were crisscrossed and Steve’s hand rested on your thigh with your hand over his. The car ride was quiet besides calm conversation and soft new I love you’s every now and again.
You got to the school and when you didn’t see Dustin you knew he was probably helping Eddie clean up. You sighed, “He’s probably helping Eddie clean up. We better go get him,” you said. “You can stay here if you want to,” he said and looked over at you. He could see that you were still a bit sleepy. “No, I’ll go with you,” you said and you both got out of the car.
He intertwined your fingers as you held his arm with your other hand as well. Resting your head on his shoulder as you walked. “I swear this kid is gonna be the death of me,” Steve said and you chuckled softly. “You love him though,” you said and smiled up at him. “Don’t let him know that,” he said and you let out a louder laugh. “Ok, I won’t. I promise,” you said and kissed his shoulder.
Dustin was with Eddie just as they finished cleaning they hear a loud laugh from outside. Eddie knew immediately who it belonged to. It was you, beautiful, beautiful you. He felt his breathing stop for a second as a knock sounded on the door. Dustin opened the door, and there you were. Sleepy-eyed and clad in Steve’s sweater. He looked at how you held him, “You ready kid?” Steve spoke up. “Yeah just let me grab my stuff,” he said. You slowly tugged Steve into the room and looked around. You missed this room so much, and it made you sad. Your eyes landed on Eddie and he could see a sad glimmer in your (e/c) irises. He knew you missed the game, and he missed you playing. He missed you kissing him when you and the boys won, he missed you sitting on his lap before the party would get there.
“Hey, Eddie. Good campaign?” you asked politely not wanting there to be an awkward silence. “Um, yeah, a good one definitely,” he responded with a curt nod. “That’s good,” you smiled softly. You didn’t want there to be any bad residual energy between the two of you for the boys' sake. Steve carefully watched the interaction, making sure you were ok. “How have you been?” he asked. Steve squeezed your hand and you squeezed his back reassuringly. “I’ve been really good actually,” you said and smiled up at Steve who smiled right back. “How about you?” you asked and looked back at Eddie. You could see what looked like pain and guilt swimming in his eyes. “I’ve been fine. Finally graduated you know,” he told you. “That’s great Eddie. I knew you could do it,” you said. It was true that you had a sense of pride for the boy after so many years of trying he finally did it. Steve leaned down and pressed a kiss on your head. You leaned your head against his shoulder. Eddie’s heart just kept breaking over again. That should be him, he should be where Steve is. He should be getting a congratulatory kiss from you and maybe even more than that. But that’s not how it is anymore. He’s not yours, and you’re sure as hell, not his.
He wanted you all to himself but he lost that the moment he thought he fell in love with Chrissy. He came to realize it was more so infatuation than it ever was love. And he lost you for good because of it.
He hated himself for it. He hated that he lost 11 years of everything you built because of a mistake he made. He wanted to scream that he still loved you, that he wanted you to be with him, not Steve. But he knew that he couldn’t mess up again, not when you were as happy as you were. You had a glow about you at that moment, and he knew exactly why.
He could still hear your soft sounds and the way his name fell from your lips. He could feel the drag of your fingernails across his back, and your legs locked around him. Eddie remembered so clearly what it was like to love and be loved by you. He knew that lightly mussed hair and lazy saccharine smile. Oh and the glimmer in your eyes, that golden hazy glow that flushed your figure. That was the look you had after you’d just made love. Eddie noticed the barely there wobble in your legs he used to tease you about. And that effervescent timeless beauty you held long after the afterglow.
He had never felt the way he felt with you, then he dropped your delicate heart on the floor. It just so happened that someone else put it back together and got to hold it. It was Steve who helped fix you. It was Steve that held your heart. It was Steve who made you glow like the sun. It wasn’t him anymore. If you were to ask now who he loved he would say it was you. But it’s far too late for that now.
“I’m ready guys, bye Eddie,” Dustin said as he headed for the door. You turned to follow him but not before turning your head to send him a small smile and wave. “Bye Eddie,” you said. He waved but before he could say goodbye you were out the door.
“I love you (y/n),” Steve said and kissed your temple. “I love you too, Steve,” you responded.
Eddie swore his heart stopped when he heard you exchange those words with someone else. It wasn’t his name you said after the I love you. You loved someone else now and he’d just have to find a way to live with that.
Now when you went home, your bed was warm when you got into it. Your vanity was decorated with new pictures and small notes for you left by Steve. You got to wake up to Steve’s messy hair and love-filled gaze. You got to fall asleep to a new I love you, one that was maybe warmer than when Eddie said it. You got to feel his lips leave sleepy lackadaisical kisses down your neck and shoulders when you wake up.
He would look at you and it would make you feel like you were the stars in his eyes. He made you feel special, you didn’t feel like you had to worry about him slipping through your fingers. He trusted you to hold his heart and you trusted him to hold yours.
You got to look at him as he laughed at your jokes, and as he smiled fondly at the kids he adored so much. You looked at him like he was your entire sky. You swore his touch made the snow melt and the flowers bloom in your soul that you never thought you’d feel again. Wrapping your arms around him and knowing he felt safe was one of your favorite things. He was open with you, vulnerable. And you would do anything to make him feel secure and like he can lean on you for support. You let him know that if he needed to fall apart and let everything go you would be there to help put him together again.
The love you had was pure, and it was something your friends had never seen. Was it sappy and cringy? Yes, but they loved how happy you were.
Everything finally felt right, you were happy again. It was a kind of unconditional happiness. The rare kind of happiness you only get once in a lifetime and you found that with Steve. Your soul only ached when you missed him for too long, you only cried when he made you laugh, and your heart only broke when his did too. You knew you would love him for the rest of your life and you truly felt he’d love you too.
---
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thank you all so much for your patience and for reading this! I worked so hard and I really hope you loved it!
Old nanami drawing I forgot I did
Imma cry, this is so beautiful, I can't breathe
Anyone wanna cry with me ?
Guys I keep thinking about a small kim rok soo who has lost his parents and just like this old man waits in front of the door hoping his parents will walk in and embrace him like nothing happened. I wonder for how long he mourned like this. And to think that he never did recieve affection or love again after the death of his parents, all he got was abuse and neglect. At what point did he snap out of it and realise that he was truly alone in the world and needed to move forward, accept what life gave him. The sort of acceptance that even this old man has yet to reach as he waits every day in the village hoping his family is alive and will return to him. Krs walked up to him the moment he got back from the Path of No Return just to help him realise what he realised all by himself when he was just a little boy. Doesn't this put so much into perspective of his reaction to the Soos deaths? He actually never learnt how to mourn properly, how to cry properly, how to let out his feelings, he only ever learnt how to accept, how to deal with it, how to move on, because no one ever cared about his mourning no one ever consoled him.
thinking about how so many parents who give their children to the jedi order did so because they want their kids to be raised safely, to have the care that their first family can’t give them, to be loved and understood by their peers and teachers and guardians; how much devotion and pain goes into that decision; and how that means so many jedi become part of the order due to the ultimate expression of love without possessive attachment
Goddamit Noguchi.
Well, at least Katsuki held out his hand to Izuku at the end of it.
The fact that Katsuki's letter'd be the only different letter makes me curious. I wonder what did Izuku wrote to him. I mean-
THAT "SMILE" THING MAKES ME THINK A LOT OF POSSIBILITIES DUDES
He wrote everyone the same thing but to Katsuki? Nah. My best guess is:
"Kacchan,
Thank you for everything. I felt that I had to reveal my secret to everyone in Class A. And I wanted to write a letter to you too. It was fun to sharing secrets with you until now and it is only thanks to you that I have come this far. Thanks for saving me from Shigaraki (he probably means the time that Katsuki got stabbed instead of Izuku when they tried to raid). Take care of Class A. If we could I'd love to go to that river together again Kacchan. I hope after everything, you all can smile again. I will do my best from here.
Izu(de)ku"
Im sure asf Katsuki's letter was something like that and Noguchi-san is trying to point us something for the last chapter or at least last chapter he dreamed of by talking about river.
Thank you for reading my TED talk.