Its A Horrible Way To Find Out That Theyre Gone - Tumblr Posts

Okay, I’m ready to talk about this.

On the day that I posted my original post my oldest sister and I both learned via Facebook that our Nana had passed away.

A cousin had posted it while my Mom and her siblings were making arrangements in the wake of their mother’s passing.

Nana’s death wasn’t shocking or unexpected as we knew that it was coming. She had gone in last December for a cancer screening and nothing showed up, but in February she started experiencing pain and on the last day of February my mom informed me that a scan had found two masses; one was on her bowel. She declined treatment as they couldn’t guarantee her anything and she didn’t want to end up using a colonoscopy bag for the rest of her life; she was in her eighties and had outlived her second husband, her ex husband and her third husband.

I saw her in late March to say goodbye and she wasn’t herself, thank God that she warned me as it would have been traumatic to see my Nana sitting in her favorite chair, unmoving, eyes closed and only saying two, maybe three words. She hadn’t truly eaten in days and my mom and her oldest sibling had to coax her to sip water or Pepsi and to try to eat. The only time that I heard my Nana speak more than three words, that wasn’t repeating ‘no’ several times, was when I told that I was pregnant; she asked when I was due.

I knew that the end was near as she hadn’t eaten anything but pudding or Jell-O by a Hospice Nurse and her children had coaxed her to eat to help pills for the pain and restlessness in days.

I made peace with the fact that there wouldn’t be a ‘better’ four generations photo of her, my mom, myself and my firstborn, that I wouldn’t get one with my second born child and that I couldn’t ask her if she would be up for the drive to the village she grew up in and learn how much, if any, it had changed since she was a child.

I expected to learn of her passing via phone call by either my mom or one of my siblings and instead I learned about it on Facebook.

I’ve chosen to not hold it against my cousin and move on.

However it did bring up an unpleasant memory. Years ago when Facebook showed you posts based on when they were made instead of updating your feed whenever someone commented on a post, I was innocently scrolling through my feed one morning seeing posts that had been made since the last time I was on Facebook and now. I suddenly stopped and hopped onto a tab for a website and started to do something else. Not long afterwards, within half an hour, the phone rang, it was for my Dad, he took the phone and started to cry; the call was to tell him that his youngest from his first marriage had unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. Later I realized that I hadn’t finished looking at my Facebook feed and went back to finish and just a couple of posts down someone, a complete stranger to me, had posted, tagging my newly deceased sister, saying that she was dead.

My older sister wasn’t terminally ill or anything so imagine how traumatic it would be to learn that a relative had passed away in such a manner and it wasn’t even a family member.

For the love of _______ please, PLEASE don’t post that someone, especially a family/friend has passed on social *cough* Facebook *cough* unless you know for a stone cold fact that family and immediate friends have been informed!

It’s a horrific way to find out that a loved one is dead; regardless of knowing that it was coming.