Jean Interactions. - Tumblr Posts
things had been weird since the death of the mayor , at first she was confused by the dreams she had been getting. but it had been clear to her that they were her memories. the life she thought she had been living wasnt real , it had also left her in a weird spot with diluc. jean decide she was going to bring home dinner and have a much needed talk with diluc since they were both off around the same time tonight. though she wasnt expecting to come home to a half empty apartment and a note. jean placed the take out bags on the table next to where she had found the note. immediately stuffing the paper in her pocket jean turned on her heels and left the house forgetting about the food. jean had checked his usual hang out spots even a couple of his patrol spots before coming across his partner. luckily they told her where she could find diluc since she had been looking for a least an hour before she got the information. it didnt take long for to go over to where he was at. knocking at the door jean didnt know what she was going to say , but it hurt when he said he didnt want to be in her space , did that mean he didnt want her around? it must be if he just moved out while she was at her shift. jean had knocked a couple times before deciding to speak up hoping he could hear. ' diluc i know your in there. please answer the door. ' / jean & diluc : @allthatglxtters
admittedly his words felt like he smacked her in the face , something wrong? after he left to come home to a half empty house and a note but no actually word from him. jean thought she at least meant enough to him to tell her he was leaving , jean thought she was patient enough with him for at least that respect. holding up the letter when he spoke , she also tried to compose herself enough to speak. ‘ is something wrong? do i really not mean anything to you? ‘ jean understood that diluc wasnt the same after his fathers death , with what happened it was understandable. she had tried to be there for him without pushing him away but it didnt seem to work. ‘ i came home with dinner to an empty apartment. i had to track down your partner to find you ‘ jean was trying her best to keep the hurt out of her face , it would only make things worse.
Diluc almost missed it, not remembering his life from before. Mondstat and everything that had happened changing him so irrevocably, and when he'd not remembered any of it, he'd been with Jean. He'd been in love with her since they were little more than children, and the feeling had only grown as time had passed. It never would've happened back home, and now it just made him ache, knowing they'd been together for a moment though it couldn't last. She didn't feel the same for him, and his distant relationship with almost everyone back home had been for the best.
He admittedly hadn't gotten a chance to really talk with Jean, suspecting she remembered too but their patrols just hadn't lined up and life had happened, so Diluc decided to just make things easier for both of them. He found a cheap hotel to live in while he figured out a different apartment, and once he was off he packed up his personal items and left a note letting Jean know he was getting out of her space before going to get settled. He didn't expect anyone to come, which was why the knock on his door gave him pause. The familiar warmth of his Vision on his hip was reassuring as he stepped silently closer to the door, but he relaxed as he heard Jean speak.
Diluc immediately opened the door, looking at her with confusion. "Apologies, I didn't really expect anyone to stop by. Is something wrong?"
jean didnt know how to feel in that current moment because diluc had never been one to say things and not mean them. but jean also thought that if he really felt that way then he wouldnt have left the apartment like that. ‘ i know my feelings have been one sided since back home but i thought you would at least speak to me instead of just leaving me without even the respect of letting me know you didnt want to continue. ‘ jean honestly was more disappointed at herself for being so upset when she knew she shouldnt be mad at him , but she wasnt upset he didnt want to be with her. jean had accepted it long ago but jean was just upset she thought they were friends enough to at least have a conversation.
Diluc wasn't sure exactly what he'd done wrong, but as soon as he'd finished speaking he knew he'd messed something up. Jean seemed very upset about him leaving, and his question obviously wasn't helping. "Not mean anything...Jean, that's entirely incorrect. Of course you are important to me. I expected now that we both have...our full memories returned you'd prefer to have your home to yourself again. It seemed...simpler, to just take care of things when the opportunity arose rather than having it be a whole discussion. I didn't mean to upset you. Truly I didn't. I apologize that I did, and that I made you feel uncared for. That wasn't ever my intention."
@envicd asked : “ youre lucky you got away with only a scratch. “ jean & cat.
jean shrugged her shoulders at the words , jean knew that even if she had gotten worse she could have used her vision. but jean had years under her belt of training to be a knight and as well as her combat training. ‘ i have more than enough training to handle that. ‘
jean staid quiet as dulic talked , since this was a conversation well into the making. this tension had been here since he left the knights , but it was also one that needed to be had and she had been scared to bring it up for a long time. but she needed answers and it had been enough time in her opinion. jean just wanted him to know that he didnt have to go throw it alone , and it always pained her that he closed himself off so he could. ‘ you have known me for a long time , when would i ever have just let you run off without at least checking in. ‘ jean wasnt someone that this world just randomly placed in his life , they had known each other since they were children. he should have known a little bit better because even though she didnt push him on opening up didnt mean jean completely pulled back. ‘ if nothing else we should be sticking together. ‘ jean hadnt come across anyone else from home , so it was just them in a place that wasnt their home. ' if you dont want to be together than im not going to push it , but if we get sent back home we can deal with it together just like we can figure this out together. '
Diluc sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to think of a way to have this discussion honestly and not admit his feelings. This world had complicated everything, and now it seemed it was forcing him to have a conversation he had successfully avoided for years. "Jean. It wasn't ever a matter of respect in my head and I'm sorry you feel that way. Leaving seemed like the cleanest way to restore things to how they were without having to...make even more of a mess. As I've...admittedly avoided having any conversation about feelings and attachments with you since I left the knights." Looking at her finally, he took a deep breath before continuing. "Simply because I could not have an honest conversation with you about our mutual attachment and not end up telling you how I feel. Our lives are...complicated, and even if we're here, somewhere different, if we are ever returned home, It wouldn't benefit you to know how deeply I care for you. That's why I left abruptly. I am truly sorry it hurt you."
jean shook her head at the mans words , ‘ no sir , i was just coming to say good morning. I was just picking up some breakfast myself. ‘ jean assured , since din was technically her & diluc’s boss at work. ‘ how are you this morning? ‘ jean asked hoping he was okay with her greeting him.
closed starter || din djarin and anyone
din just wanted to enjoy his damn breakfast. this world was so weird, there were societal orders and stereotypes he would never understand. not that it mattered much to him. which was why he hadn’t really thought about his order, he just picked what sounded good. what he forgot was that he was in uniform… and though he wasn’t from this world, his memories told him he had been a cop for a while. his memories told him he should have known better. “one joke about donuts, coffee, and the whole police thing and i will put you in handcuffs.”
@sunshiinefades
jean let him speak , looking down towards the floor as he went on. jean never understand why dulic choose to exile himself from everyone who cared about him. diluc had build walls so high that even if she wanted to be there for him she couldnt , but she stuck around because diluc didnt deserve to be alone and miserable. jean was starting to think the best thing was able to just listen to him and leave him alone because if he didnt want to try than why force it. ‘ youre the only one who believes you shouldnt be happy. if you really want to break up fine , ill leave you alone and we’ll just see each other at work. ‘ jean spoke , moving towards the door not wanting to continue going in circles. it had been clear what he wanted and she would let him have it.
“Checking in, absolutely. You have my phone number, I figured you’d know it was me being, well, me.” Diluc sighed, understanding his logic was flawed. He didn’t know how to navigate this, how to correctly handle anything about this situation. Sighing, he rubbed his face, knowing he was doing this all wrong. "Jean, it's not a matter of wanting to be together or not, it's a matter of should. I'm used to being alone, handling things alone. And you're an exceptional leader who's used to the Knights and..all of that. Ugh, I'm not saying any of this correctly."
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Diluc was quiet for just a moment before speaking softly. "It's unwise to be together because if we go back we wouldn't then stay together. You'd go back to being in the knights, I'd go back to my business. Letting it turn to more just, isn't wise."
@tragcdyfallen asked : “ am i boring you? “ jean & nesta.
jean shook her head and gave the other an apologetic smile , ‘ no of course not. ‘ jean apologized feeling a bit bad but she just couldnt help her mind wandering back to everything going on. ‘ sorry , i havent been able to focus lately. ‘ jean admitted with a light shrug of her shoulders.
jean stopped in front of the door , the anemo user grabbed onto the door knob listening to him speak jean closed her eyes for a moment. jean didnt want to be insensitive to his feelings but she felt like they just kept talking in circles. ‘ if what you want doesnt matter , than what i want wont either. ‘ jean put his keys to the apartment on the table next to the hotel door before opening it to leave , everything in her screamed to stay but she knew diluc and he never did anything he didnt want to. ‘ ill see you at work. ‘
“It’s not that I don’t believe I shouldn’t be happy. And that…”. Diluc rubbed his face, everything in him just filled with dread about being honest. Speaking bluntly about himself and what his father’s death and his fight with Kaeya and everything after had done to him. “I lost all faith in everyone and everything I believed in that day. Everything about me changed, you know this just as well as anyone. And this world might’ve made me …lighter again for a moment, but with my memories returned, and who I am now. I’m not the me you ever had any interest in. And back in Mondstat, well. It puts you in a difficult position, being with someone who has no faith in the organization you work for. I believe in you, but not the Knights. Not anymore. I’m…What I want doesn’t matter.” Diluc sighed before looking at her fully as she started to leave. "What do you want Jean?"
before jean left she turned to look at diluc , she really just wanted him to come back home and they would figure it out in the morning but she knew it was fruitless. ‘ i told you what i wanted , but its not what you want and thats fine. when you figure it out call me. ‘ as a knight she had learned fairly early to regular her emotions especially after becoming the acting grandmaster because people looked at her for calmness but it didnt make it any easier for her in this moment. her mind swimming with where to go next because she didnt want to go back to the apartment at the current moment.
Something deep in Diluc raged against this, pushing him to speak, to confess how he felt. He'd stood to try and catch her but forced himself to stop. He was a shadow of the man who'd been worth her. The younger version of himself that wasn't disillusioned by his heroes and betrayed by his closest family. The version of himself who could've been with Jean, lived a life by her side. "What you want always matters Jean. You...You matter above all else." Crossing his arms across his chest, he nodded. "I'll see you at work." Perhaps. He wasn't who she deserved, and he didn't know how to get there again. Not after what he knew, or what he'd done in the aftermath.
jean hadnt expected to actually tell her how he felt , he had kept that guarded for a long time. she had usually been able to tell since she knew him so well but it was different to actually hear about it from him. jeans hand dropped from the door knob , turning back around so she was fully facing him. ‘ you are the same man ive always known , more guarded than when we were younger. but still the same diluc , we’re a team its not all on you. you make me happy despite how you feel about yourself. ‘
Diluc hated this, the hurt in her eyes as she looked at him, the awkward way this was going. None of what he was saying seemed to be helping and leaving things like this felt even more wrong than it felt to let himself try and have what he wanted. AS she reached for the door he forced himself to speak. "There's nothing I want more than to be with you. Than to get a chance to love you and be my your side every day. That's what I want. What holds me back is knowing who I am. Knowing I'd just make you miserable, yet being utterly miserable myself when I'm not with you. I don't know what's..I don't now what's best for you Jean, and that is really the only concern I have now that we're here. Are you safe, are you happy. And I don't know that me as I am would make you happy."
a smile pulled at jeans lips as he spoke , diluc never said anything he didnt believe was true. jean had watched diluc harden himself over the years , but he had always been the same man he had always been at heart. it took a special person to fight anonymously for a city without acknowledgement. ‘ ive been in love with you since we were children. ‘
@sunshiinefades || jean & diluc ❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜
Diluc was quiet as she spoke, his eyes never leaving hers. It'd been a long time, since he even attempted to voice his deeper feelings, and all of this still feld new. And this..it felt like he didn't deserve it, Jean's affection and kindness. But he gave a soft smile "I can assure you, the feeling is mutual. The feelings I hold for you I've never held for another."