Jisaw - Tumblr Posts

Stained - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I had inspiration from Staind's songs, Something to Remind You and Right Here. So, the songs might not be about what I wrote, but this is what I had thought every time I heard them. I hope you enjoy it. (lol, I know naming the story after the artist is cliche and pathetic but I didn't know what else.)

You had a fever of one hundred and six degrees. You could barely feel or see anything. All of it was just a blur, the noise was muffled in the background, and the lights over head gave you something to concentrate on. You were exhausted, and hot. No, blistering was a better word. You felt like you were literally on fire, but you doubted that was the case. If you were on fire, you would be in a lot more pain than you were in now, and not to mention you'd probably be dead.

People moved around you, voices spoke above you, and things flashed in front of your eyes. You couldn't keep track of it all, so you eventually rolled your head to the side and closed your eyes. Your whole body was hot, you were getting hot flashes and chills, you were sweating profusely. You had wet cloths on your skin. Pretty much every part of your body that wasn't covered by the hospital gown, was covered in a wet cloth. The cloths were slightly cold to the touch and you tried to shrink away from them, but someone held it there for you.

Shivering, you tried to sit up only to be shoved back down. Uneasily and a little bit scared, you stared dizzily at the ceiling as yellow, fluorescent, lights flashed past you. Horror filled you as you tried to breath. You thrashed and kicked trying to free yourself, but you only exhausted yourself out greatly. In a matter of seconds heat flashed over you and you passed out.

Adam paced back and forth anxiously. He was desperate to see his significant other wake up, but so far it wasn't like that would be happening any time soon. There was a doctor in the room, watching over Y/N to make sure everything went as planned. He had a grave expression on his face.

"How are they?" Adam demanded for the fourth time.

The doctor stared at him over the rim of his glasses, and said in a clipped tone, "We are working on it."

"Well, clearly you're not doing enough! You can't just let them die! They needs more help!"

The doctor's calm voice answered directly; he was not taking anyone's bullshit. "What Y/N needs is rest. We are trying our best to keep their fever down, but it... Well..." The doctor trailed off, then said, as delicately as possible, "The patient's condition is declining rapidly, you see. Our best efforts may not be enough to help. Y/N might have to fight this on their own."

Adam was thrown off his guard at this. He shook his head repeatedly, as if he was trying to shake honey out of his hair. "You must be dull," he said at last. His tone was cool. "MY partner won't be going ANYWHERE."

"The body won't..." Adam heard the doctor mutter to himself, shuffling through some papers and moving across the room.

Adam was disconcerted now, not to mention a little bit angry. Who was this doctor, thinking he could stroll in here and act like he owned the place? Y/N wasn't going to die! It was quite inconsiderate of him to pretend that they were. Adam wanted to do something, but nothing would come to his mind. As he started pacing again, the doctor said from the corner, "If you've nothing better to do, I suggest you go for a walk."

Adam glared at the doctor. "Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"I'm the person keeping you lover alive, I think I would know a thing or two about health. And staying in here, isn't going to help yours."

Adam stared at the man in reluctance. He felt slightly offended, but also embarrassed. Of course the doctor would want to help EVERYONE he could, which would include Adam himself. The audacity he had to tell Adam to leave while his partner died on a hospital bed was more or less insensitive, but the doctor just wanted to help. That's why he took this job, right? So, really, all in all, how cruel was he being?

It still doesn't matter, Adam thought to himself. He still told me to leave Y/N all alone while they died. That's so overpowering, I think it was just rude at this point.

"No," Adam said quietly, taking a seat next to you. "I'm not going to LEAVE them."

The doctor nodded curtly. "Suit yourself then."

You were in a deep sleep. The covers were all put away, due to the fact that you didn't need to be hotter. You were hyped up on medication all the time, Adam wasn't sure what it was they were using. A towel was on your forehead, you were dressed in pretty cool clothes, but you did have a thin blanket over your lithe body. Your temperature was... wavering, in all honestly. It looked like your fever wasn't even beginning to die down. Adam's heart sank into his stomach miserably.

But unbeknownst to Adam, or even the hostile companion that was the doctor, you were no longer asleep. You had overheard their conversation, but had been unable to speak up. You were tired and weak, but now that you were awake you didn't want to go back to sleep. In fact, you wanted to see Adam one more time before falling asleep again. You feared it would be the last time you would get to.

You started humming to yourself a little bit. You were unsure why that was your first response, but you thought it would be the best way to grab your boyfriend's attention. Subconsciously, you started singing the song that had been playing on your first date with Faulkner. Now that you thought about it, this choice was actually very depressing. In fact, having the song play on your first date had been a little ironic, seeing as a first date was happy and the supposed song was not so much.

The song you were humming was by the artist Staind. You had listened to their songs before, but it wasn't like you deliberately sought them out. This one had a place in your heart because it was the one on the radio during your first date with Adam. Your boyfriend still hadn't heard you singing, but that was alright. The windows were open, so the traffic was loud.

As you kept humming though, you started to have enough strength to say the words. Very carefully, you raised your voice. It was steady and brave, though sickness was evidently present. It dampened your ability to sing, and gave off an eerie feeling to the room, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop; Adam should hear this, you weren't sure how long you had left. "When the day comes... the sun won't touch my face. Tell the ones who cared enough... That I finally left this place-"

"-Y/N!?" Adam exclaimed, looking at you in alarm. His eyes were wide with horror. "Shh! D-Don't say anything, you'll hurt yourself."

But you didn't care about hurting yourself. You simply smiled at him in a soft amusement as you continued, "That's been so cold. Look at my face, all the stories it will tell I can't erase..."

"Y/N, what? That's... the song we heard on the radio-"

You raised a weak hand up to his mouth, and hushed him with your finger. This was something you would never do, but today was different. You needed Adam to listen to you. You traced you thumb down his cheek. "The road is long... just one more song, a little something..."

Adam seemed to understand then what you were tying to tell him, and he got to his knees. He bowed his head on the bed, grasping both of your hands above his head. "You don't know what you're talking about. S-Stop... You're gonna be okay, just... go back to sleep."

You gazed wistfully at Adam's bowed head. "To remind you..."

"Stop it." Adam's voice cracked, and he looked up then. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "Please."

"When..."

"Don't!" Desperation clawed into Adam's tone. "Don't say it."

"I'm..."

Adam looked at you in the eyes. They were red from crying, and his face was pale white from nerves. "Goddamn it, Y/N! Why are you singing this right now? Are you trying to hurt me?"

You stopped singing and gazed at him dolefully. "I love you, baby." Your voice trembled brokenly.

Adam frowned at you, seeming to come to the conclusion that there was no avoiding this. Not in the slightest. "No."

Smiling encouragingly at him, you felt the need to continue the song. It was only traditional. In a sweet voice you started to sing. You were able to grab some energy and put it into you voice and emotion. You were scared, but at peace, and you needed you Adam to understand that everything was okay; he was okay. The words came out purely, boldly, lovingly. You placed your hand on his face, and traced it weakly down his cheek. Calmly, you sang out, not once stopping, not once faltering, and kept your eyes solely on Adam's. "Something to remind you when I'm gone."

Adam gasped sharply at your words. "Fuck..." he murmured.

"Don't be afraid, Adam... I'll be with you... I promise."

Adam hung his head, as if unable to look at you while the life of his lover was deprived slowly out of their fragile body. You stared at him dishearteningly.

Reluctantly.

Miserably.

"I love you," you repeated.

Adam let out a choked sob. But the words were still mustered, "I love you, too."

You rolled your head to the side. You didn't want to leave him all alone, but there was nothing you could do. You wanted to stay with him and help him recover from this, but, you knew you couldn't do that either. You just had to sit it out, and it would be harder for him to accept your death than it would be for you to die. But the lights started to envelop your vision, they were bright and blinding, and the blistering temperature threatened to swallow you whole, while cold chills ran up and down your back and limbs. Your voice was sore, and your head throbbed painfully; You had to get out of here, it was too painful.

You forced yourself into the bed and tried not to thrash, your suffering ten times worse now. The light expanded and you were consumed entirely, leading you into a black well of dark. It was quiet here, and not so hot. Your cold flashes had stopped and you felt energized at last. As you gazed around the place you couldn't really see anything. However the song that was playing caught your attention. It was perfect, though, not the song you had been humming earlier. It was Staind again, and this song seemed to accompany the last one so well, it hurt. It was the ending of the song, and it just had to be this one that was playing. You listened closely, and realized the lyrics resonated within you strongly. You couldn't even believe how much you related to them. It was funny how once you had experienced the life lesson, how painstakingly obvious the truth hurt. You closed your eyes and listened. You knew this song as well.

But I always find a way, to keep you right here waiting.

I always find the words to say, to keep you right here waiting.

But you always find a way, to keep me right here waiting.

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting.

If I chose to walk away, would you be right here waiting, searching for the things to say, to keep me right here waiting?

An emptiness filled you up. "I miss you already," you whispered aloud. It was cold - too cold - and you drifted back, feeling Adam's presence fading. Peace would find Adam eventually, even if it was only a phantom of a feeling; a stain of ruin splashed across the art. He would make it.

Yes, he would.