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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。MAD — AL-HAITHAM.
contents. alcohols consumption (drunk! al-haitham), post argument, fluff, ft. kaveh a real one for dragging home a heavy ass muscle man
al-haitham is good at holding his alcohol—at least, he is unless you’re in the middle of an argument. if you’re both arguing, then he seems much less likely to stay sober.
tonight for example—you open your bedroom door when kaveh (not so quietly) awakens you with his incessant knocking, grumbling under your breath as you reach for the door knob and twist. before you can even fully open the door, a very drunk and very heavy al-haitham is handed to you to hold steady.
“here, he’s your headache now,” kaveh huffs, crossing his arms, “i was supposed to be the heavy drinker of tonight,” he glares at al-haitham (who doesn’t help himself any further when he glares right back), “my day was far more stressful.”
“what draft are you on with this client?” you ask sympathetically.
kaveh flares his nostrils as he grumbles, “six!”
“maybe seven will be the charm,” you hum, chuckling, “i’ll get this headache of mine to bed.”
“please do,” he nods, “and i wish a terrible hangover on him in the morning too.”
with that, the door is shut, and you hear kaveh walk off and slam his as he grumbles some more about the drunk mess in your arms. at least you and kaveh have that much in common tonight—a shared irritation for the akademiya’s ever so charming scribe.
(truthfully, it’s hardly an accurate description at the moment—al-haitham’s charms are currently little to none after earlier.)
“you’re not doing yourself favors,” you turn your attention to you boyfriend, who stumbles a little as he buries his head into your neck. it’s a tad bit adorable—but then you remember the know-it-all attitude from earlier and decide you’re mad again. “disrupting my sleep for your lightweight habits isn’t a good way to apologize.”
“not a lightweight,” he slurs—and then he pulls away and pouts, “still mad?”
“yes.”
“are you sure?”
“very.”
“‘s not nice,” he huffs, burying his face back into your neck.
you can feel the way his lips are curled into a pout as they kiss your neck, and even though you’d like to say you have better self control, you can’t help but wrap your arms around him. it’s just to keep him from falling, you reason—just because you’re mad at him doesn’t mean you want him to potentially fall and break something, and that would only mean taking care of him more, which you do not need right now.
“you know what else wasn’t nice? telling me i’m wrong when i’m right,” you huff, “and then arguing that i’m wrong even though you know i’m right.”
“said i was sorry,” he almost whines—drunk al-haitham has at least a few perks. one of them is how much more affectionate he is, peppering kisses along your jaw until he finds your cheek. “you’re soft,” he hums, “love you.”
“you smell like beer. go to bed,” you grunt, trying (and failing) to pull away and guide him to the bed. you don’t make it two steps before he’s latched back to your body.
“say it back,” he gasps, “say it.”
“al-haitham,” you groan, “you can’t be serious—”
“haitham,” he corrects, “supposed to call me haitham.”
“would you like to sleep on the couch, haitham?” you ask with a dry smile on your face, eyes narrowed as he shakes his head. he tucks it into the crook of your neck, sighing happily as he inhales your scent.
“no, ‘s not good f’my back.”
“your back is the least of your concerns right now,” you mumble bitterly. “okay, let’s get you undressed.”
“you’re not mad?” he brightens up immediately at your words, taking them entirely out of context. his lips lean in to press against yours as his hands snake under your shirt, making you huff and slap his hands away as you turn your head and force his lips to meet your cheek.
“oh, i’m still very mad. don’t even think you’re getting anything tonight,” you scold.
for the nth time tonight, he pouts. and truthfully, you’re only human at the end of the day. if the akademiya’s usually stoic and composed scribe—who happens to be your equally as stoic and composed boyfriend—seems to pout this many times in one night….well, it would make anyone’s resolve crumble. even someone who’s angry after an argument—someone much like you.
“you’re a lot cuter when you’re drunk, you know that?” you giggle, poking his cheek lightly. he hums, nuzzling the tip of his nose against your skin as he leans more weight into you.
“aren’t i always cute?”
“not when you’re stubborn.”
“‘m cute,” he argues, “y’think ‘m cute, right?”
“no,” you grin, just to tease him. it’s a bit fun—pulling those wide eyes and curled lips from him, pulling that slightly crestfallen look that only a drunk al-haitham would let you witness.
it’s not too mean to let yourself indulge in this just once, is it?
“don’t be rude,” he slurs, “love you. say it back?”
“say please,” you tease, chuckling as your fingers thread through his hair.
he seems to brighten when you offer him a bit of affection, leaning into your touch as he sighs happily. “please,” he says politely, pressing a kiss to your skin before adding, “‘m sorry,” for good measure.
“how sorry?”
you plan on dragging this out for as long as you can—is it morally correct to take advantage of your drunk boyfriend? perhaps not….but no one is perfect, and you’re no exception.
“really sorry,” he mumbles, squeezing your hips.
“sorry enough to do the dishes for the week?”
“mhm,” he nods.
“kaveh’s too,” you add, with a satisfied grin on your face.
he nods, mumbling a quiet, “okay. kaveh’s too,” without question.
“how much do you love me?”
“a lot,” he says slowly, and by now, he’s leaning enough weight in you that you can tell he’ll fall asleep any moment. so you chuckle, pulling him along slowly before letting his body hit the mattress.
“this is my side of the bed,” you mutter with a roll of your eyes, but he doesn’t seem to hear you as he closes his eyes and sighs when your hand cups his cheek and rubs the warm, flushed skin. “do you love me more than you love being right?”
“mhm,” he hums, half awake as his eyes droop, “say it back now.”
“i love you too,” you finally crack, leaning in and kissing his lips briefly, “even if you’re rude and impossible.”
“‘m still cute,” he rebuttals, “right?”
“oh yes,” you giggle, “the cutest.”
“good,” he nods. and then his eyes close, and he’s snoring lightly, cheek still pressed against your hand.
you’re supposed to be mad, maybe even give him the silent treatment for a bit—but then you watch him sleep peacefully, the smallest of smiles pulling at his lips when your fingers thread through the sweaty locks of hair. regretfully, you can’t stay mad, not when it’s al-haitham—and especially not when it’s drunk al-haitham.
“you’re such a headache,” you mumble, kissing his forehead before joining him on the bed and tucking into his side.
and when he wakes up in the morning, with what is hopefully the awful hangover kaveh wished upon him, you’ll make sure to remind him of his agreement to do the dishes. kaveh’s too.
if u try to tell me al-haitham isn’t a clingy and affectionate drunk, ur wrong. he’s so babie after he drinks
I NEED ITOSHI RIN BF HEADCANONS, I BEG YOU 😭
·˚ ༘ ITOSHI RIN BF HEADCANONS !
# warnings: gn!reader, fluff and a little hurt/comfort, mentions to arguments, somewhat suggestive but no nsfw, swearing, idk how many words this is but quite a bit LOL, unedited
# a/n: LUCKY FOR BOTH OF US THAT I JUST SO HAPPENED TO WANT ITOSHI RIN BF HEADCANONS TOO. ENJOY MY FRIEND.
no one knows how you two got into a relationship and to be honest, you don't really know either. like how did you bag itoshi mf rin 😨 the most unlikeable bitch anyone will ever meet in their life... (lovingly)
bachira asked you if you were okay the first time you met and rin immediately lunged at him. like, please stop babe, you're just proving meguru's point !
how you met and all is a story for another time <3 because holy fucking shit is it a long one.
but the point is, although rin takes a while to open up, he is an amazing boyfriend, despite what everyone believes :,)
claims that he needs an independent partner bc he needs his space from time to time and you were completely understanding, even agreeing that some privacy here and there is nice.
except as it turns out, rin is the most co-dependent partner there is 💀 it's no longer 'i' bc it is now 'we'! slay!
he literally needs you to go to the grocery store with him and expects you hold his hand the entire time too- literally.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"you know how to buy your own green tea, why do i need to come with you?" you ask when rin pops his head into your study room where you were reading your book. "please?"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
you accompany him (almost) every time. if you're out he even waits for you to get home just so you can go with him like boy wtf...
well his love language is quality time saur.
expresses his love through gifts and acts of service as well. all of the gifts he buys for you are genuinely so well thought-out, like you almost tear up at all of them. one of them was a teddy bear that said 'you're better than mediocre.' and you almost cried 🗣🗣 okay but fr, he got you an anniversary gift of all his favourite moments with you, adding spotify bar codes to the pictures. there were photos from before u even dated like rin 😭😭😭😭 he is so babygirl pls take care of him.
on that note, i headcanon that rin has decent music taste. he listens to rock and alt, even anime soundtracks 🤣 but bc he's fluent in english, i bet he listens to arctic monkeys and the neighbourhood on REPEAT 🔁
wait yeah lover of music, it just makes sense for him to have a collection of headphones in his room. he likes to make you playlists too :( rinnie :( for me???
(rin also has a love language of offering you the first bite of food. you're sharing ice cream? here, have the first spoon. wanna try some of rin's lunch? he's already offering it. the smoothie he's having sounds good? he's already pushing it towards you.)
ALSO ☝️ BC THIS FUCKER LOVES HORROR, IT'S SOMETIMES TO A POINT THAT IT GETS YOU KINDA SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE... HOW IS HE SO IMMUNE TO ALL THE BLOOD... AND VIOLENCE...
he's SICK for this. you never let him pick the movies whenever you want to watch something.
also like it's a good enough reason to not get on his bad side. mans probably has 100 ways to k*ll shidou and get away with it.
anyways, rin would probably be hesitant to let you meet his family (read: sae). he's not ashamed of you, he's ashamed of sae.
so when his family demands to meet you, rin finally caves, agreeing to a dinner back home. only to find out he had nothing to worry about. his mother and father love you, saying how you were so beautiful the whole dinner, and how lucky rin was to have you. they even brought up the topic of marriage and you and rin kinda just sat there like 😐😁 smile and wave... smile and wave...
internally though, rin was over the moon knowing that you're accepted by his family. he loves his mum and dad, and although his relationship with sae is rocky with no smooth waves in sight, his opinion is... 'appreciated'.
best part was that his mother then turned to sae and went 'when are you going to get a partner as well?' and rin SENT HIM THE MOST SHIT-EATING GRIN EVER LMFAOOOOOOO
they got into a fight whilst cleaning the dishes that night.
rin then takes u home and pampers u, still high from the happiness that seeing u with his family brought 😇
WAIT ALSO - YOU TWO DEFINITELY SHOWED UP TO THE DINNER WITH MATCHING FITS >:o
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN'S WARDROBE LIKE DAMN SHAWTY... LET ME HIT... so he'll 100% shop for you too.
in fact, he's the best boyfie to take shopping, he'll be like 'no that's not your colour, but the fit is nice' or be like 'you might need a different size. this one isn't right' - you trust his judgment way more than your friends.
when you are out with your friends shopping, you'll send rin photos for his opinions and he never misses 💯 drops whatever he's doing to respond bc he's gotta make sure his pretty lover has the best wardrobe!!
rin loves paying for your shopping sprees too. no matter how much you try to wrestle him for who pays, he will always win. you make it even though by paying for your meals that day (the difference in how much money is spent on clothes and food will never compare, but it makes you feel a little less guilty so rin indulges you).
also attentive af. knows your tastes in almost everything, memorised your little habits and how you like certain things done. very dedicated bf once you realise just how much he loves doing things for you.
i just had this thought:
you know how couples post on tiktok all the time? well, you thought it would be nice if you could participate in one trend with rin.
you just thought it'd be a small post to share with your friends but instead, you seemed to forget to turn on the 'only friends can view option', it blew the FUCK up - like ofc it would, that's itoshi mf rin... but the comments were all like 'why are you with him', or 'dump him... you're too hot for him...', or 'you can do sooo much better than him'.
look, no matter how sensible rin is, he's not immune to drama and this bitch will not settle for when people tell him he doesn't deserve you like did YOU GO THROUGH TWO YEARS OF PINING??? I DON'T THINK SO. SIT THE FUCK DOWN.
so he's on your account, picks the comment 'i could treat you better than him', films himself giving the commenter the middle finger before you pull him in by the collar to give him a big ol kiss, cutting the video at the exact time that you both stumble out of frame.
look, it's not the most optimal way to fight back against the haters 🙄 but he doesn't need to prove nothing, not like anyone else gets you all to themselves.
oh this man has a banger social media presence, on his main AND on his private accounts.
he prefers posting on the priv bc there he can freely show u off and be more authentic.
itoshirinpriv I love when Y/n wears the things I buy them
─ megurusundercover when will u buy me things rinnie </3
╰┈➤ itoshirinpriv Choke and die
╰┈➤ megurusundercover kinky ;)
─ isagi11 Hi @y/n !
╰┈➤ y/n HI YOICHI !!!!
LOVES A SUPPORTIVE S/O, EVEN IF HE DOESN'T LET IT SHOW!!! WEAR HIS JERSEY AT A MATCH AND CHEER FOR HIM AND YOU HAVE HIS HEART !!! RECORD HIS MATCHES FOR HIM AND WATCH THEM WITH HIM AND HE'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER !!!!! he doesn't ask for much, just a little appreciation back :<
also don't try to compete against rin in anything unless you have guaranteed victory bc this mf is competitive AF.
will spare you on some occasions but more often than not, will give 100% into everything.
you use this to your advantage like 'hey babe, wanna see who can clean more of the house in one hour?' and HE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY EVERY TIME. to be fair, so do you because like you want a clean house, but rin is SO speedy when there's a challenge involved.
easy defeat every time but you can't be mad.
hc that rin can't cook for shit. so you'll have to be there with him or just ban him from the kitchen straight up.
you taught him how to make microwave popcorn and that's about the only thing he is permitted to make.
even his diet-regulated smoothies are all made by you because holy fuck he somehow always messes up the recipe despite it being really clear and concise.
also you steer clear from him when he's working out because he just looks TOO GOOD working out that i makes you feel a little funny and pathetic 😇
if you are someone who does enjoy exercise, rin would love to take this chance to spend some more time together. you could be doing a pilates workout and rin is in the corner lifting weights, glancing over to you ever so often, sending him winks when you catch him.
loves going on hikes with you, no matter the difficulty, how steep or flat, he just really likes being active and if you join him, he'll be SO happy.
also u know how he loves yoga and meditation? if hiit and sweat-inducing workouts aren't for you, he likes stretching with you and teaching you breathing exercises that help throughout the day.
100/10 MASSEUSE BTW !!!! 👍👍👍👍
ofc, relationships aren't always perfect and especially when dealing with rin, someone who has quite a fair bit of trauma from being abandoned and left behind, it only worsens the tension.
believes you're going to leave him every time </3 like no :( just bc you're mad at him doesn't mean you've stopped loving him.
communication is so important. rin has a tendency to catastrophize a lot so please, put your pride aside and talk to him! reassure him! spend some time with him! that's how post-arguments usually go.
then you'll talk it out calmly, expressing both of your perspectives, apologising for breaking boundaries and trying to adapt accordingly.
this routine is a delicate one and it took months of putting aside your immaturity in order to grow together. especially rin who is so full of pride, but when he realised that his stubbornness wasn't winning him anything, he shattered his hardened perception of self and let you in.
"rin?" you whisper, poking your head into your shared bedroom delicately, afraid to upset the beast sleeping in there even more.
"what," he snaps, sitting on his side of bed in a hunched over position. he hugs his legs close to his body and the sight breaks your heart a little.
"i'm watching 'the shining', you can join me if you'd like to."
he grumbles something inaudible before you close the door quietly, hoping he'd cave because you chose this movie just so he'd come around. it's his favourite after all.
setting out a bowl of popcorn and some beverages of choice, you just manage to get the movie up when rin emerges from the bedroom, all gloomy and moody. he plops down on the opposite side of the couch, chin on his hand.
he's pretending like you don't exist which is fine by you, you know he'll cave eventually. so, you slide a cup of water and the bowl of popcorn to him and settle in, pressing 'play'.
around 15 minutes in or so, you're too engrossed in the movie to hear rin's quiet shuffling, and how he's now crossed the distance to sit next to you. his hand comes up to your shoulder to get your attention and when he has it, rin's quick to manoeuvre you so that you were now lying down on the couch.
he then plops down, wrapping his arms around you and resting his head on your chest.
"i'm sorry," whispers the striker. such simple words with such heavy meaning, especially coming from him.
you know he wants to say more, but you know better than he can't get it out, so, you begin threading your fingers through his hair, just how he likes it. rin softens completely against you.
"it's okay," you reassure.
"you're too good for me."
the next morning there's a bouquet of flowers and dessert from your favourite bakery on the kitchen counter.
rin wakes up at a reasonable hour. he likes to start off his days between 8 to 9 am, with 9-10 hours of sleep.
your sleep cycle has been synced with his because he hates sleeping without you beside him.
unless you have a good reason to push back sleep, he will not stand for it. stop depriving yourself of sleep and give your body the rest it deserves!!!!!
has a set night routine with you.
also i'm sorry but rin loves making out + neck and hand kisses are his favourite to give to you + he loves receiving temple and lip kisses.
goes to parties and clubs but very reluctantly. he doesn't like to drink, especially during soccer season, so there's not a lot of joy he can find in going out, except when he gets to eye you up and down all night and have fun with you AYEEEE 🕺😩
'you can wear whatever u want, i can fight' bf.
one thing you learn abt this man overtime is that he truly does not care how you dress. even tho it seems like he's judging you, he loves everything you wear and will admire you appreciatively 24/7.
confectionery
ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — SUNA x MAID! FEM READER; KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA AU
Suna becomes a regular at your maid cafe - a regular thorn in your side, that is.
wc — 1.4k
tags — fluff, reader works at a maid cafe
next: omakase | shoujo series masterlist
“Yes, master,” you practically bite out the words.
Suna raises an eyebrow at you. “Aren’t you missing something?”
Ugh. This man is insufferable. With a pained smile, you wince through the last part of your mandatory response to orders. “Nya! One Kitty Kitty Paw Parfait coming right up!”
In the back room, you drop to your knees, cradling your head in your hands now that you’re safely hidden from the eyes of your customers.
You have to do it.
You have to kill this man.
There’s no way you can keep serving him these ridiculous orders. You’re going to die of embarrassment. If it’s him or you, you’re going to choose yourself.
Working at a maid cafe only started because of your best friend. She convinced you to do it with her, only to quit a few weeks in. You had stayed, against your better judgement.
Keep reading
TRIAL BASIS DATING: ATSUMU MIYA
sfw + no warnings. if the man wants a relationship with you, he’s going to have to work for it. ﾟ｡ ꒱
FIRST TEST: HOLD-MY-PURSE-WHILE-I-TRY-THIS-ON
If New York City had one thing to offer, it was glamour, shopping trips, and luxury. However, this vision of the city seemed to be slightly different for boyfriends, who’d rather view a trip to Soho as an arm workout. Atsumu had to agree.
“Hey, babe?”
The blond perks up at the sound of your voice, looking up at you trying on another pair of nude stilettos, “Hm ?”
“Which ones ?” You say, holding up another pair that was lying nearby, in the mess that was made up of shoeboxes and translucent paper, and placing it next to the shoe that you were currently wearing.
Atsumu can’t help but blink. “Babe.. aren’t they..?” Your pupils narrow down to slits as your boyfriend almost slips up. Luckily for him, he catches the hint, and tries as best as he can to make up for his blunder.
“I mean- No, it’s just.. That’s not what I meant to say! They’re so obviously different, the left one definitely more yellow.. ish?”
You pick up the left one, inspecting it, and Atsumu swears he felt a drop of sweat make it’s way down his forehead.
“Yeah.. Yeah you’re right. Thanks, baby, love you!” As you place a quick kiss on his cheek, you happily saunter over to the store assistant to let her know you’ve made your choice, and, unbeknownst to you, Atsumu feels like screaming into a pillow. Your purse is safely in his hands, he managed to provide worthwhile fashion advice, and most of all, he was still alive.
While he was very self-centered, for once in his life, your boyfriend was sure that the outcome wasn’t any of his doing. In fact, he wholeheartedly believed there was some extraterrestrial being somewhere that had taken pity on him, and helped him out.
Right on cue, you come back, having paid your new shoes, “Come on, hurry up, there’s this other store I wanna check out next!”
Even though these sort of days were definitely rewarding; watching his girlfriend change into form-fitting outfits was always a good thing, Atsumu was already begging for the extraterrestrial’s return.
The colors and brand names you were throwing at him were making the poor man’s head spin; Apple green or Forest green? Ocre or light brown? Prada or Balenciaga? Moschino or Valentino? Atsumu didn’t even know what a Moschino was, and when he’d asked you if it was a coffee machine brand, you had almost thrown earlier’s nude stilettos right at his face.
“Come on, just five more minutes, I promise!” You answer your boyfriend from the changing room, as he had let you know about his need to go back to the hotel as soon as possible.
The blonde, who was sat in a puff chair in front of your changing room, was beginning to get really frustrated at the seemingly endless shopping trip, when he hears the curtains being drawn back. There you were, standing in all your glory, waiting for a comment on his part. Unfortunately for you, your appearance seemed to have made his mouth out of service. His jaw was slacked open, unable to utter a single word out.
“Well ?” You raise an eyebrow.
Maybe an arm workout in Soho wasn’t so bad after all.
note. This is for the girlies who take hours in the changing rooms. I see you, and I get you! Take your time queen you deserve it ﾟ｡ ꒱
©234423zip ALL RIGHTS RESERVED do not copy modify or translate my work/theme
-> second test
you loved when bakugou wore sunglasses.
his most used pair were these black shades. a typical pair, easy to style and pretty much went with everything. black rims with black lenses so that you never knew where he was looking. your favourite was when he’d come pick you up, leaning over the passenger seat to open the door to let you in, peering at you from over the top of the frames. head titled so he can see all of you in the warm sunlight, scarlet pupils flicking you up and down, a little dilated because it’s you he’s looking at. and you look at him too with his matching tight black vest, thin gold chain and black shorts. he looks so good. you’re about to tell him as you slide into the leather seat but he beats you to it.
“hey princess, you look pretty.” and he says it so casually, so politely like he’s a good boy that spends his last few pennies to get you a single flower from the florist. not a very handsome pro hero looking so similar to sin and temptation in his sleek car that was worth more than your student debt and then some. he says it wearing those goddamn sunglasses with one hand on the wheel and looking at you. you’re not exactly sure where.
bakugou, on the other hand… his eyes bounce to your exposed collarbones, the centre decorated with a dainty necklace he bought you and… is that glitter across your chest? then the expanse of your neck, up to your ear, all exposed from your hair being up. he knew your hair always made you even hotter in this sweltering heat and he loved how it opened your face up. then his eyes drop down to your exposed plump thighs in your pretty little summer dress. so pretty. makes him wanna sit you on his lap and snuggle you to his chest. usually you’d push his head away when he’s so clearly checking you out. heating up cutely with embarrassment and shuffling to cover your skin. but you can’t tell.
“thank you baby,” you kiss his cheek, “you look handsome too.”
and it’s something about the way your boyfriends eyes are your favourite feature on him. yet you loved when you couldn’t see them when they were covered by the midnight black lens. it’s so obvious for you to love his eyes but it was true. you could see everything about him in his there; the way they shone like rubies when he was intimate with you, to the way they melted like magma when he was passionate about something. they were always alert and analysing, like he knew what was going on before anyone else did and he had to be aware of everybody and everything incase something happened. side effects of being a pro hero you assume. though of course, when he’s alone with you, at home, his eager eyes would soften, become lazy because you were here, safe. with him.
but… well wearing his sunglasses gave him that bad boy aura, that who’s he? you read about in those online books when you were 13. made him carry an air of mystery and expectancy, made you want to give him a reason to look at you.
though you didn’t have to try very hard. proven by the ring cladded hand that gripped your thigh as he drove, sometimes drifting to hold your hand but always landed back on your thigh. and how whenever he was at a stop light, he took it as his chance to give you another quick once over. you now with windows open, seat reclined and head rolling to look at him with the most gorgeous smile he’s ever seen because you can feel him staring.
“what katsuki?”
“nothin. can’t i look at my girlfriend? damn.” and he’d shake his head facing forward, foot back on the pedal as the traffic light beams green at him.
college au! kazuha where he consistently shows up at the same library. not just because he loves reading or has to be there for his research projects, but because he likes to see you. he thinks his plan is rather clever. just show up at his university’s library, grab a cup of coffee by the indoor cafe, and “study.”
what he didn’t expect though, was for you to also do the same thing. you liked to show up at the library ever since you laid eyes on the platinum-haired man, and your friends found no reason to stop you, especially since you were “studying.”
it takes the two of you a full quarter to realize that you were pining after each other. the first one to make a move was most definitely kazuha, who decided to sit next to you with an excuse that follows “i notice you’ve been reading murakami for a while. mind if i join you?”