Jonathan Levy X Fem!reader - Tumblr Posts

Contemptress - Jonathan Levy

I don't know why or how, but this imagine came out of me. I birthed it into existence with my fucked up brain. I started it when I was in a bad mood and decided to finish it. Sorry, I guess?

This is DARK. Like, really dark and sad. Triggering content. Please, please, mind the warnings

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), switches between noncon/dubcon, infidelity, rebounds, extremely toxic relationships, oral (m and f!receiving), rough rough sex, little to no foreplay, sadism, dacryphilia, overstimulation, degradation, humiliation, Dark!Jonathan, seriously he's a major dick in this fic, no happy ending :(

3.2 Words🤙🏻

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You didn’t know Jonathan too well, he was more like a friend of a friend for the most part. You occasionally went out for coffee or dinner with your friend and her husband and he and Mira would tag along. From the outside, it seemed like they were the perfect couple. They both seemed like they never had any problems or the typical couple's quarrels, so when your friend told you that they were getting a divorce, you were shocked.

You were curious but you didn’t think to pry, it wasn’t your business after all. You felt bad for their kid, being a child of divorce yourself, you knew she would have a difficult time dealing with it, especially at such a young age. But that was the extent of it, you didn’t think of it any more.

You soon discovered that you and Jonathan went to the same coffee shop most of the time, you were pleasantly surprised when you saw him there one morning. You noticed he frequented the place more often after the separation, sometimes in a hurry or on rare occasions would actually sit and eat a bagel with his beverage. 

You were flattered that he remembered you well enough to start up a conversation with you, asking how you were and what you had been up to since the last time he saw you. He seemed put together well enough on the surface, but you knew that you couldn’t possibly know what was going on behind the scenes. You could almost see it, the emotions he was hiding behind his eyes. They were tired, the slightest tinge of red blemishing the corners of his sclera. You could see the faintest bite marks on his hands, and your heart ached at the thought that he did it to himself.

You didn’t know how you got the courage to initiate it, but you invited him for breakfast whenever he was available. You were relieved he said yes, almost enthusiastically. You would allow him to rant with no judgment, you even found yourself taking his side. You couldn’t believe Mira would do something like that, leaving her child just to be with her lover. It was unforgivable in your eyes, but you kept those opinions to yourself because it was clear Jonathan still loved her. But he was in so much pain.

After that morning, things started to escalate.

You started seeing each other more often, getting dinner together as well as breakfast. When Mira came back and started keeping Ava at her place sometimes, you would even share drinks at his home. Then he started coming over to yours.

You were both drunk, feeling sorry for yourselves, and it just happened. The sex was messy, sloppy, the taste of booze on each other’s tongues. It didn’t last that long, and you both felt guilty the morning after, along with major hangover headaches. He made his escape quickly, saying that he had to pick Ava up from school, even though it was a Saturday. But it was okay, you needed time to yourself to think anyway.

You didn’t see each other for a couple weeks after that. You didn’t even go to your favorite coffee shop in fear of having to see him. But the hiatus abruptly came to an end when a loud knock on your door woke you up at two in the morning, a disheveled and rain drenched Jonathan standing outside your door pitifully. It didn’t take but two seconds to give into his puppy dog eyes, forcefully pulling him into your house and frantically tearing off his wet clothes while he did the same to you.

It became a habit. Whenever something happened with Mira that made him angry or upset, his first instinct was to come to you. You never turned him down. You never disagreed with anything he said or did. You never did anything that would make him upset, you didn’t want to. He needed you, and you would give him exactly what he wanted.

But it was never soft, loving sex. That's not what you were for. No, it was rough. Passionate. Intense. Sex with Jonathan always left you with more than a few bruises, but you didn't mind. In fact, you liked it. You liked waking up the next morning sore and in pain, you liked seeing the marks he made on your delicate skin. It made you feel special, in a way. You felt special being the one he chose to take all his anger and frustration out on, no matter how rough he could get. No matter how much pain he put you through. You took it. All of it. 

You were addicted to him. Every single thing about him. You knew you shouldn't have fallen in love, in fact you told yourself that you could never allow yourself to. But there were moments where Jonathan was so into it that he’d whisper soft I love you’s in your ear, but he never said your name, you could always hear the faintest moans that was the beginning of Mira’s name but he always managed to stop himself before saying it fully. But that didn’t matter to you. There were also moments, though fleeting, where he’d wrap you in his arms and fall asleep next to you. It warmed your heart despite yourself.

But he’d always leave. Even before you woke up, Jonathan would be gone. You weren’t surprised either way, but you did feel disappointed when it happened. You made the grave mistake of accidentally whispering an I love you after he had given you a particularly amazing orgasm, it just slipped out. He was not happy.

You still felt a lump in your throat every time your thoughts drifted back to that night. He immediately slapped your cheek, not hard but just enough to leave a bright red mark on your face, sternly telling you to never say that shit again. And as you usually did, you obeyed him and you never said it again.

You had confided in a couple of your closest friends, wanting, no, needing their opinions. Even though you knew what they were going to say, you still felt angered by how adamant they felt you needed to call off this fucked up friends with benefits because it started to not even feel that way anymore. But you just couldn’t, no matter how much you knew you needed to listen to them, you always came crawling back for more.

You had never known what addiction felt like until you started sleeping with Jonathan. All those stories you had heard and read about drugs or alcohol being so important that you’d disregard all others, even your own family and friends, just to get that fix. You couldn’t rightfully say that’s exactly how it felt, but you imagined it felt somewhat similar. You’d cry yourself to sleep every time he left your apartment after fucking, you felt anxiety every time you were apart, you started to feel like you couldn’t live without him. 

You needed to end this. Right fucking now. But of course, all those thoughts went out the window as soon as Jonathan came knocking at your door with that same intensity in his eyes that meant he needed to abuse your cunt until you were weeping.

The two of you didn’t even have to exchange words anymore. You’d make the subtlest expression that you couldn’t possibly turn him away, and he’d be on you in an instant, and tonight was no different.

“Such a good little slut. Always ready to take me.” Jonathan growled in your ear, as he bit your neck hard enough to break the skin, causing you to hiss in pain. “Right?” When you didn’t answer right away, he grabbed you harshly by the throat and forced you to look into his eyes. “Right?” He asked more sternly.

“Y-Yeah…” You stuttered, yelping when he grabbed your pussy through your pajamas.

“By the time these clothes come off, you better be fuckin’ wet and dripping for me cause I ain’t planning on being easy with you tonight, sweetheart.” Even the harshness of his voice and the threatening tone, it still made you throb for him, the added sweetheart sending your pleasure signals into overdrive. “On your fuckin’ knees.” He ordered, not allowing you a response by shoving you to the floor anyway.

You yelped when your knees hit the hardwood too roughly, but hearing Jonathan’s belt buckle come undone made your mouth water and the pain easily retreated to the back of your mind. “Open wide, babygirl.” You instantly gagged as he shoved his half hardened cock into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat and keeping it there until tears ran down your cheeks. “That’s right, take my fuckin’ dick.” He groaned loudly, his thrusting slowing and becoming shallow as his cock hardened fully, which finally allowed you to catch your breath. But that didn’t last long.

Jonathan grabbed you by the back of your neck, tangling his fingers in the roots of your hair and brought you up to kiss you roughly. You felt his growls reverberating in your mouth as he kissed you, if you could even call it that. He was trying to swallow you whole. “Bedroom. Now. Take off your clothes on the way.”

Your nipples instantly hardened in the cool air conditioned room, taking a seat on the end of your bed as Jonathan came not far behind you, his shirt and jeans already discarded, his cock bouncing out of its confines. “Lay down. Spread your legs.”

You shivered as Jonathan ran his hands up and down your calves, the cold metal of his wedding ring raising goosebumps all over your body and causing a pit to form in your stomach. Of all the times you fucked each other, why now of all times were you feeling like you couldn’t handle the thought of him still devoted to Mira?

You cried out as Jonathan roughly slapped your cunt, running his fingers along your folds briefly before scowling down at you. “I thought I told you, you better be wet by the time your clothes come off? What part of that wasn’t clear, huh?” He scolded, dryly thrusting his fingers into your tight entrance without caring about your pain. “Aw, does that not feel good?” He teased maliciously. “Well maybe it would feel better if you had done like I asked. Now what I’m about to do won’t feel good at all. But maybe that’s what you want, huh? You want me to hurt you? That can be arranged.”

Your eyes widened as Jonathan hovered about you, lining up his dick with your cunt, spitting down on his dick to use as his only lube. “No wait, ah-!” You cried as he inserted himself into you with no prep, no foreplay, no time for adjustment.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Even with you rejecting me, your pussy feels so goddamn good.” He growled, thrusting into you hard and deep, no matter how much you protested and begged for him to let you adjust. Compassion just wasn’t in the cards for you tonight.

You reached down to rub your clit, just to at least try and force your body to create its own lubricate, but Jonathan slapped your hand and pinned them both above your head. “Jonathan, please, it hurts…” You hiccuped, trying to stifle your cries but failing miserably.

Jonathan first responded by slapping your face, a vice grip on your throat and cutting off your oxygen before responding vocally. “You filthy bitch, eight inches of dick ain’t enough for you, huh? Any woman would be thrilled to be fucked by me, but no, you have to complain. Fine, whore, I’ll give you what you want.”

Jonathan traveled down your body, diving face first into your pussy, focusing in on your clit ruthlessly. You whined loudly, instinctively trying to close your legs around his head but your efforts came up short. “Happy now, bitch?” He mumbled against your cunt, his tongue so expertly giving that it caused so much overstimulation. He scoffed incredulously as you begged him to slow down, sitting on his knees as he looked down on your tear covered face with disdain. He looked exhausted with you, his eyebrows furrowed and angry huffs escaping his lips.

You gasped as he suddenly flipped you over on your stomach, raising your hips up and pushing your head down against your pillow. You moaned painfully as he entered you from behind, shivering as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “No more accommodation. Now, I just fuck you and you take it. Understand? Not a single complaint outta you.”

The cries of anguish quickly turned into moans of pleasure thanks to the new angle. You wanted to hate him, so badly, but his cock was finally hitting all the right places and your clit calmed down from his tongue beating. “Oh, yeah!” You cried out, the tip of his cock hitting against your sweet spot over and over again, the grunting and growling from Jonathan making your clit throb for attention.

“Slut’s finally enjoying herself, huh? Good girl.” He growled slowly, his hands surely leaving bruises from the vice grip he had on your hips. “Such a pretty girl, such a pretty pussy, clenching around my cock so well. Aw, yes, fuck!” He moaned, taking advantage of the angle to slap your ass a couple times.

“Jonathan, can I touch my clit, please?” You whined, already feeling so close but so scared he’d stop.

“Good girl, asking for permission. Yes, sweetheart, rub your clit for me.”

You gasped loudly as your fingers came into contact with your throbbing nub, rubbing it in tight circles, trying to patch the pace of Jonathan’s thrusts. “S-So…close…” You stuttered, crying and moaning absolute gibberish that even you couldn’t understand.

“Come, my little slut. Let me feel how much you love this cock.” He picked up his pace, thrusting into you faster than what should be humanly possible, only amplifying the sensations and fack tracking your orgasm. Hitting you like a train, you let out a loud broken groan that felt like it damaged your vocal cords, but the intensity of the orgasm was so great you didn’t even care. All you focused on was how incredible you felt. “Yes, baby, yes. Feels so good.”

But even after you had what must’ve been one of the best orgasms of your life, Jonathan never slowed his pace. He kept pistoning into you like his life depended on it, and it was so overwhelming. You didn’t know if you could handle it. “Oh, fuck!” You yelped, trying so hard not to beg him to stop.

“Yeah, take it.” He growled, pulling you up by the roots of your hair to bite down on your shoulder hard. “Take it like the good little slut you are.”

You couldn’t stop yourself. “Jonathan, slow down, please.” You whimpered, his cock hitting your cervix over and over, the sensation making you feel like it was going to kill you. “I can’t…” You cried, tears flowing freely from your eyes.

Jonathan only chuckled darkly, not letting up in the slightest. “Not yet, pretty girl. I still haven’t come.”

It felt like an eternity before you felt Jonathan’s cock twitch inside you, his brutal thrusts stilling and feeling his warm cum shoot in you. Before, you loved the feeling, but now it just felt like a curse.

You winced as Jonathan pulled out of you, collapsing on your bed beside you with a satisfied sigh. You carefully turned yourself over, your legs shaking at just the slightest movements. You awaited his check ins, the ones he always did after a rough session. It wasn’t too compassionate or empathic, just a simple “are you okay?” would be enough for him. But that never came, maybe he forgot or maybe he was too fucked out to remember.

You hated it, but you teared up again and he wasn’t even gone yet. You didn’t even know how to bring it up, so you just went ahead and said it. “I can’t do this anymore.” You managed to whisper.

“What?” Jonathan asked in confusion, turning on his side to look at you. “What are you talking about?”

You sat up as best you could, leaning up against your headboard with him following, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen. “This, Jonathan. I can’t do this. Whatever this is between us. I just…I can’t.”

Jonathan scoffed. “Whatever this is? Y/n, we both agreed that this wasn’t anything. Just sex. It’s not my fault you’ve caught feelings. You shouldn’t punish me for it.”

“This is exactly why I can’t do it anymore, because of that exact agreement. In the beginning, it was so…nice. It was fun. But Jonathan you’ve…you’ve changed. I only know what you share with me, but I can tell your divorce with Mira is changing you.”

“Separation.” He corrected, making you roll your eyes.

“You say her name while we fuck, Jonathan. You’re still hurting and you’re taking it out on me now, and I don’t think that’s fair either. This used to be an outlet, but now it’s just torture for me.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve thought about this possibility before you let me fuck you, don’t you think?” He seethed, clenching his fists and keeping still against the headboard. You both stayed in a tense silence before he sighed. “I thought…I thought this would help me get over Mira, come to terms with it better. But clearly, this hasn’t worked.”

“You think?” You chuckled weakly, not even bothering to wipe away your tears anymore. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“I’m sorry, Jonathan, but,” You exhaled shakily, “I think it’s for both our sakes that this ends. It’s not healthy. Never has been. I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want you to hate me.” You looked over at him and the scene shocked you. He had tears running down his cheeks too, and it somehow made you feel even worse.

“All this time…I’ve been turning into the person I didn’t want to become most of all. I’m turning into her.” He sniffled, angrily rubbing his tears away. “God, what is wrong with me?” You didn’t have an answer to that, but you didn’t want him to feel alone, despite all he’s done to you. You grabbed ahold of his hand gently, rubbing your thumb over his bruised knuckles. “I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much right now, but I am.”

“I know…” You whispered, pulling Jonathan into a hug, gently tugging on his hair as he sobbed in your arms. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay…”

“You’re right. You didn’t deserve this. We can’t let this go on any longer.”

You knew you shouldn't have forgiven him so easily, and you didn’t at first. But he seemed genuine in his apology, and he left you alone after that night. It was a difficult process. You didn’t know if you’d survive a week, but you persevered. Every day made you aware of new struggles. You had to avoid every place you had ever been with him. Even your own apartment felt wrong to live in. Everything was tainted. Every part of yourself you could associate it with your time with Jonathan. 

Your body still craved him.

You still loved him.

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Please please please, if you are or ever find yourself in this type of situation, don't be afraid to reach out for help. There are so many people that love you and want what's best for you. It may feel like you can never escape, but that's not true. You are strong, you are capable, you are more than your abuser, you can overcome, you can heal. You deserved to be loved.