[ Kept Manners. ] Ruby B. / Musings. - Tumblr Posts

ruby tag dump:

[ kept manners. ] ruby b. / answered. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / about. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / headcanon. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / interaction. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / style. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / aesthetic. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / likes. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / fc. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / reply. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / musings. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / music. [ kept manners. ] ruby b. / visage. re: ruby / aasim.

tagged by: @imaginarianisms tagging: anyone who wants to do this!

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

MINT

The world is a puzzle, so complex and multifaceted that you long to run your hands through the tapestry of its wonders and stay there forever, lost in the threads and colors and stories. You wish to stay there forever and you tell yourself it's to know the world but maybe it's not, maybe it's a fear that you're not enough, that you're so fragile and helpless in a world that moves too fast, to sharply, too many bright, painful colors that you stay locked inside your mind and thoughts, where you decide the tempo of your world, where you can grow and be as competent, as capable as you want, where the world is as wide as you can imagine it and never out of control unless you want it to be. Your shield is your knowledge, your mind, and you never feel ready enough for the world around you, never feel prepared enough, never safe, and you wonder if things could have been different, if you could have been better, happier, more like everyone else if you'd just known what you know now.

BASIL

You wear a thousand masks and you claim them all. You say they are all you, all parts of you but some of them you picked up when you needed to be brave, some you picked up when you failed because you were yourself, some of them you picked up because you needed to be stronger for someone smaller, better for someone bigger, useful for someone crueler, and you can't help but desperately scramble for first place, for usefulness, to prove you're worth keeping around, to prove you're the best, to prove you're good enough, valuable, enough. You just want someone to tell you you're enough. You strive for success, to be a role model, to take the lead, to be someone everyone loves, someone who can't fall, someone who can't be hurt the way you were once, the way you're running from even now. Sometimes you just want someone to hold your hand and let you spill all your broken fragments outward but you know you could never let it go. The only thing holding you together some days is the image of perfection and success and security and the worst part is that everyone else needs you to never falter either because you so often are the one holding everyone together too. You can't help but wonder if your emotions are ever your own, if you are just an actor in a life that's not your own, if you were cursed to be a mannequin, a doll, from the moment you were born and placed into a life where you were a child meant to be seen, not heard, to perform, not live, and the jealousy the injustice or the pain is fueled into masks as you take the world by storm.

“This was going to be your Christmas present, Sam. Isn’t it so cute? Well, guess what?“