Kim Jisoo X Fem Reader - Tumblr Posts

Happiest Year(s)

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 1,759

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Character Death, Illness, Crying

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: OMG!!! This writing absolutely wrecked me... I’m so sorry Jisoo 😭 I promise that I have some fluff in the works to make up for this one. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! 

PS ~~ I listened to the song “Happiest Year” by Jaymes Young when I wrote this (hence the title). I highly recommend that you check it out -- maybe even play it in the background while you read this.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The pain was something you had grown accustomed to, especially within the past few months. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, though it sure gave you a run for your money sometimes.

One fateful night, everything changed: Hot, excruciating jolts shot through you, burning and raging like a fire within. Jisoo found you in the bathroom, curled up in the fetal position, and immediately called for help. To her, this was something totally unexpected -- you had always worked hard to hide what you were going through from her, not wanting to give her any added stress. She had enough to worry about; you didn’t want to be another thing on that list. Perhaps that had been the wrong thing to do, judging by the panicked look on her face as she cradled you in her arms. Surely her stress had increased tenfold now.

~~~~~~~

The soft click of the door to your hospital room grabs your attention, and you open your eyes. 

“Y/N, why did the doctor just tell me that you’ve known about your condition?” Her voice is quiet, unbelieving; she sounds tired. For the first time in a long time, her eyes are unable to meet yours. She swallows thickly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and fear. Tears threaten to spill from her beautiful eyes, and you curse the universe for not giving you enough strength to reach up and wipe them away when they inevitably fall. 

“I was going to tell you… I just never found the right time. How was I supposed to tell you something like that?”

“You should’ve.” The reply is simple, but her delivery is profound: her voice is laced with pain, a hint of resentment mixed in. Who could blame her? She’s having to witness her world crumble before her eyes, and she has absolutely no way to stop it. Her jaw clenches as she finally gives in, little by little, allowing her tears to fall. You can tell she’s trying to stay strong, though.

“Would you have lived as fully if I had? No. You would’ve spent every second with me worried about that, looking at me different. Like I was fragile and would break at any moment. Maybe you wouldn’t have meant to, but I would’ve felt it. It would’ve been at the forefront of your mind; you wouldn’t have said what you meant and did what you wanted. I needed to make those memories.” 

~~~~~~~

As you faded in and out of consciousness again, the distant sounds of monitors served as a beacon for you. Fighting sleep was growing harder every time, but you held on for Jisoo. She wasn’t ready to let go yet, and neither were you; although, the two of you never really would be.

“What am I supposed to do without you, Y/N?” Her hands are cradled around your left one, lips pressing against it as the words roll off her tongue. She’s looking down, attempting to wrap her head around what’s about to happen. Hot tears drip onto your skin, and you pray to have enough strength to hold her one last time. You want to leave this world embracing her, feeling her warmth for as long as you possibly can. You have to. 

“J-Jisoo.” Within an instant, her head snaps up, her eyes searching your face, waiting for your command. 

“Hold me.”

As she moves to lay next to you on the bed, she makes sure not to hurt you. One of her arms supports your head and wraps around your shoulders, while her other comes to circle around your waist. Her soft skin rubs against your own, and a hum of happiness leaves your lips.

In an instant, it hits her: she won’t be able to hear that sound again. She won’t be able to hear your laugh… God, your laugh. It’s always been one of her favorite sounds in the entire universe; after tonight, she’ll have to settle for listening to it from videos on her phone. Those captured memories, frozen in time for her to replay as often as she wanted, could never compare to the real thing. 

Soon, you’d be gone from this world, leaving her behind as a shell of what she once was. How could you keep this from her? Everything the two of you had spent so much time creating -- the stable life you were going to keep on living well into your 80s -- is crashing down around her. That dream of passing away together in bed, a long and happy life replaying as you fade away, is rapidly disappearing into nothingness, and she doesn’t know how to cope.

She tries to make sense of the situation -- to rationalize like she always does -- but it’s not possible this time. Why were you burdened with this terrible disease? Why you? You’re one of the greatest people Jisoo has ever known, always doing right by everyone you come across. So what kind of higher power would damn you in such a way? 

“Stop thinking about it. Just be here with me, please.”

As hard as it is to do as you ask, she does her best to push those thoughts away. 

“I can’t do this without you, Y/N.” Her sobs get in the way of her words as they struggle past her lips. She’s a mess: streaks of tears are running down her cheeks again, her hair stuck to her face in various places. The mascara she applied earlier that day is smudged underneath her eyes, mingling with the salty liquid spilling from them without restraint. 

“Yes you can, baby. It’s gonna be alright; you’ve got the girls, and you know I’m gonna be there, too. I’ll always be with you.”

She presses a kiss against your forehead, and you can feel her lower lip tremble against you. 

“I’m not afraid. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, I’m not hurting.” You try your hardest to remind her of that and soothe her, even in the state you’re in; seeing her like this hurts you more than any sickness ever could. Both of your hearts are breaking at the same time, attempting to figure out how to go on without the other. 

A rather violent cough racks through your body, and she holds you once it’s over. In that moment, it’s clear that your time to go is rapidly approaching. 

“Jisoo--” You begin, mustering up all of your strength to utter some parting words.

“Don’t. Don’t say it. You’ll have to go once you do. I’m not ready.” She shakes her head in protest, still unable to accept what’s happening. 

“I have to, jagi. Just let me get it out.” 

With a shuddered breath and fresh set of tears replacing her previous ones, she nods. You take that as your cue to continue.

“Thank you for the happiest years of my life. Knowing you -- being able to love you -- has been the biggest privilege I’ve ever had. There’s no one I would have rather spent my time with. I know it’s hard baby, but please don’t hate me for not telling you… I think you’ll understand why I didn’t, in time. Just be happy, Jisoo. For me. Remember me and the times we shared; those aren’t going anywhere. I’ll love you forever.”

Her lips are against yours in a flash, gentle passion burning wildly. The feeling takes away all of your worries, and you sigh against her. She doesn’t want to stop, but she has some words for you, too. 

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Y/N… that’s what makes this so hard. I could never hate you, though. I just wish we had more time. I’ll love you always, even through the distance that separates us. You’re my happiness.”

“Ooh baby…” The words come out through your tears, your voice unstable from all of the emotions you’re feeling. “I wish I could stay. God, am I gonna miss you.”

She kisses you again, and some of the pain is alleviated from your heart immediately. It still hurts, of course, but her kisses soothe you in a way that nothing else can -- part of you is healed now.

“I think I’m gonna miss that most of all.” She mumbles as her forehead rests against yours again. Her tears are at bay for the time being.  

“Not as much as I will.” The faintest chuckle is drawn from her; even as you lay dying, you’re still just as competitive as ever. 

You wrap your arms around her and let your face rest in the crook of her neck. You’re at peace in her arms, warm and comfortable in every way possible. Only she could do that -- no one else made you feel as safe and protected as her. The realness of the situation is hitting you again, but you try to focus your mind on the feeling of her heart beat against your chest. Yours is slowing down, the process becoming unnecessary now.

She can feel you slipping away, right between her fingers, and it’s almost too much to handle. Her entire world is fading right in front of her, and she just has to be a passenger in the process. If she could save you, she would; if there was a way for her to trade positions with you, she would do it in a heartbeat. Every other type of pain pales in comparison to seeing you, the love of her life, so weak and frail.

“I love you. Now, kiss me one last time.”

She does as you ask, whispering her own declarations of love against your lips in between kisses. 

In stark contrast with her broken state, your mind is running wild with memories from the life the two of you shared. All of your “firsts” replay in a flurry of various emotions and colors. It’s difficult to explain, but your mind is aglow with the vivid hues of a life well lived -- one with no regrets, no stones left unturned. It’s all playing in your head like some sort of slideshow, and there’s no other way you’d want to be sent off. 

“It’s beautiful, Jisoo.”

Just as she looks down at you, ready to ask what you’re talking about, the monitor flatlines. You have a content, peaceful smile on your lips, your eyes closed in comfort. 

“I’ll see you later, my love.” She whispers to you -- and those are the last words you hear before leaving this world, beginning your journey to the cosmos.

Winner Takes All

Drum roll please....🥁.... I'm very happy to present to you: the return of Gamer Jisoo and her infamous Pikachu hat. I know I know, very exciting.

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 4,479

Warnings / Misc. -- Fluff Galore, A Few Curse Words

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: First off I'd like to thank you guys for the love on my other gaming fic; seeing you enjoy my work really encourages me. With that being said, I should note that I don't know much about gaming conventions -- I apologize if I get some details wrong in this writing. I hope you enjoy it regardless. Happy reading!

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“Lisa, I’m scared! What if she tackles me? You know how she can get when she’s excited…”

The throaty chuckle that leaves the maknae works to calm you down, and you find yourself smiling despite the nerves. “The girls and I will be there to keep you safe, don’t worry. Jisoo-monster can’t hurt you.” 

You shake your head as you grab the tickets, stuffing them in your pocket and mentally preparing yourself for the surprise. Lisa takes your hand and drags you out the door in a rush, her happiness plain to see.

~~~

The sounds of your foot falls against the linoleum work in tandem with the beating of your heart, and you do your best to conceal your grin. The last thing you want to do is give the plan away at the last second. 

Upon opening the door, you find the other 3 girls sprawled out on the floor in various positions, bodies exhausted from dance practice. So much for protecting you. 

“Where were you guys? We were starting to get worried.”

When you take too long to reply, Jennie raises up onto her elbows, narrowing her eyes. “Y/N…”

Shit. You’re toast. The girls’ eyes search the two of you quizzically while your brain goes into overdrive in an attempt to find a believable excuse. Everyone knows you’re a bad liar, and you’ve just been caught in the act.

“LisawashelpingmewithasurpriseforJisoo.”

The words leave your lips in a rush, but your girlfriend doesn’t miss her name being thrown in there at the end. Her eyes dart up to yours, and she perks up.

“OYE! What was that?” 

Releasing a sigh, you repeat yourself. “Lisa was helping me with a surprise for you.”

Jisoo’s stupid smirk from across the room makes you giggle, and you roll your eyes. She stands up and walks over, wrapping her arms around you. 

"A surprise, huh?" She asks cutely, her eyes shining even brighter than usual as she raises her eyebrows repeatedly like a dork. Both of your smiles widen as you nod at her, allowing your hands to run through her mussed hair. Seeing her so excited makes everything worth it, and you know you'd spend every dollar to your name in order to keep her as happy as this; she deserves nothing less. 

As she leans in to press a kiss against your lips, her hands work their way down to your hips, resting there. Too caught up in the moment, you fail to realize that her fingers have hooked their way into your pockets. 

Her lips vibrate against yours as she lets out a confused mumble, her fingertips brushing over the foreign material. She gets the jump on you, quickly snatching the tickets from your jeans, and you watch her face as she reads them.

Every moment that passes feels like an eternity, the air void of any sound as you and the girls wait to see her reaction. She's still just staring at them, running a finger across the material as she rereads the info printed there. A pang of insecurity runs through you at her continuous silence, and you can't help but speak up.

"I know they're not the premium access ones, but we still get to--"

"They're absolutely perfect, Y/N. I don't know what to say." Her voice is gentle and quiet, and your heart softens at how precious she looks right now. 

"You didn't have to do all of this for me." She says, unbelieving that she deserves such a gift. Determined to remind her of how much she means to you, you cup her cheek and coax her into looking into your eyes. 

"After everything you do for me, this is the least I could do, baby. You're worth every bit of it and then some. I can't wait to take you." 

She pulls you up against her again, wrapping her arms around your shoulders as she whispers words of gratitude and praise into your ear. 

A minute later she pulls away to give everyone in the room a warning. 

"Prepare yourselves -- incoming scream in 3...2...1…"

Jennie, Lisa, and Rosé all scramble to the farthest corner of the room, tripping and sliding the entire way while you just cover your ears and laugh. They look like characters out of an episode of Scooby Doo. 

"AHHHH I love them!" She suddenly shouts, throwing her hands up into the air triumphantly as she does a little happy dance with the tickets. Her joy is contagious, and soon the rest of you are all bouncing around with her in celebration. 

-----

"Ready, my love?" 

Upon poking your head into Jisoo's room, you find her sitting at her vanity, smoothing out her hair before she puts on her signature Pikachu hat. 

"Just a minute." She responds, sending you a soft smile through the mirror. You lean against the door frame to admire her until she's done, studying how elegant she looks while doing even the simplest thing. How you managed to get so lucky is beyond you, but you thank your lucky stars for her every day. 

Once she's finished, she turns around in her chair to get a good look at you. A light pattern of blush rises to her cheeks at the way you're looking at her, head over heels and hopelessly devoted. A grin tugs at her lips as she approaches you, dusting off your shoulders and fixing your shirt just like a married couple would. 

"I'm so in love with you." 

Jisoo's heart speeds up at your words, still getting just as giddy as it did the first time you confessed to her. She bats her eyelashes and looks at you as if you hold the key to the universe. 

"No way! Me too; I'm pretty great, aren't I?" She plays, making you roll your eyes and laugh. Of course she has to mess with you in the middle of a serious moment. 

"I'm kidding. I love you more and more every day, Y/N." She says, taking your hands within her own as she loops them around her waist. Her eyes meet yours again, and she leans in to kiss your cheek. 

"Now come on or we'll be late. I can't wait to school you!" She says, sticking her tongue out at you. 

"Oh you are so going down. Just don't cry when I beat you." You retort, mocking her as you pout and make your lip tremble. 

She playfully pushes you out the door, cackling as you almost fall. You say goodbye to the girls, making sure to give them all big hugs before leaving the dorm. 

----

The convention center is bigger than you had ever imagined it'd be. Past the security line at the entrance, the space opens up immensely with two large hallways sprawling off on either side of the main performance room. High ceilings tower overhead, their support beams decorated with various posters and guides. Some staff members sit at a long line of tables to greet guests and offer information about the scheduled events. 

"Good afternoon, ladies. How're you doing today?" One of them asks as you approach.

"Good, thank you. And you?" Jisoo says, smiling excitedly. 

"I'm doing just fine. Is there anything I can help you with?" The woman is kind; you like her. 

"Do you by chance have a map?" You inquire.

She nods, reaching underneath the table to fish the complimentary guide out of one of the boxes. 

"Here you go." 

"Thank you very much. I think this is all we need; have a great day!" You cheerily reply, bowing your head to show gratitude. 

"You're welcome. Come back if you have any more questions; we hope you two enjoy your experience with us!" She sends you one last smile as you step out of line and allow the next guest to take your place. 

After scanning your eyes across the busy area, feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that's going on, you spot some tables near the large front windows of one of the expo halls. 

You direct Jisoo's attention to them, and you swiftly make your way over there. 

"Be cool -- I snuck us in some snacks because everything here is overpriced as hell." 

You whisper to her, stealing a glance around the two of you before opening your coat like some sort of drug dealer. She lets out a little giggle as she eyes the assortment of candies and food you brought, saying: "You smart." 

"Alright, let's plan out our route."

She nods in agreement, pulling a chair up next to yours so you both can look at the map. 

Various fandoms have booths and rooms set up throughout the building -- everything from movies and tv shows, to any video game you can think of. Because of the scope of experiences offered, the tickets weren't easy to come by: you had to pay a pretty penny to even get the "cheap" option. Nevertheless, that's the last thing on your mind as you notice how happy Jisoo is right now. Her eyes dart across the paper, taking in all of the different sections and committing them to memory. 

"I heard that the Harry Potter wing has butterbeer…" you start, nudging her shoulder with a smile. 

She lights up at this, quickly deciding that you should start your trip there. "Okay, let's begin with it. Then we can check out some of the other movie franchises in that hall, and come over to the video games after." 

You glance down at your phone to check the time before adding, "That'll work out perfectly. Overwatch and PUBG are having major tournaments later, so we'll be there in time." 

She stands up to snatch a pen from one of the nearby help stands, and returns to her seat soon after. A scribbling noise can be heard as she circles the different places you want to go, adding stars beside the ones you guys are most excited for. 

"Done!" She declares, placing the cap back on the pen and setting it to the side. 

"Lead the way, pretty girl." You purr, grinning at the way her eyes turn into those famous little crescents as she smiles. She slips her hand into yours, interlocking your fingers as the two of you begin your journey.

----

"Y/N IT'S SO ADORABLE!" She yells, pointing to one of the Animal Crossing plushies that adorns the table in front of you. You push the brim of your newly-purchased Star Wars hat out of the way so you can get a better look at what she's talking about.

"Awww." You coo, reaching into your pocket to grab your wallet without hesitation. After buying it for her, you have her stand by one of the latest posters so you can have a mini photoshoot. 

"You're so beautiful." 

She loses focus on posing for the camera now, her eyes shifting from the lens to your own. You nearly melt from the look of pure adoration she's sending you, and she takes that as her opportunity to compliment you back. 

"And you're the cutest thing ever." You hide behind your hands, shielding your blushing cheeks from further scrutiny. 

"Stop it." You command, feeling her arms snake around your waist as she approaches you. 

"Never," she starts, pulling your hands away so she can pepper kisses across your face. "I'll spend every day reminding you how precious you are." 

"Ya know, my heart really can't take all of this love. I'm surprised it hasn't burst yet." 

"Well it'll just have to get used to it." She declares, nodding curtly with a final look of determination taking over her features. 

"I'm in love with a dork, everyone." You say to an imaginary audience, taking a step back as you motion to Jisoo. She slaps your shoulder playfully before dragging you to the next booth.

---

For the past 2 and half hours, the two of you have hit up just about every spot you intended to. You've accumulated bagfuls of bracelets, necklaces, shirts, and other memorabilia from nearly every shop you visited, and the thought makes you happy. Jisoo can decorate the dorm with her figurines and merch, and she'll be reminded of today every time she sees them. 

"The big Overwatch match is about to start, so we can check it out until the PUBG one begins, if you want." 

"Okay, but can you help me put this necklace on before we go?" 

You nod in affirmation, taking her over to a nearby bench to set your things down and help her. She scoots up next to you and pulls her hair to the side as you fasten the small clip behind her neck. The piece matches yours, and you grin as her fingers come up to toy with the material. 

She spins around to face you as she expresses her thanks, quickly moving on to rant about the tournaments. She giggles eagerly, mind completely wrapped up with thoughts of the games as she gushes about the things she's looking forward to.

You're doing your best -- honestly, you really are -- but Jisoo's lips look so kissable right now that you can't help but lose focus. They purse and pout as she rambles on, and you do your best not to stare. 

You fail miserably, though -- after finding that your eyes have been nearly glued to her lips for the past 5 minutes, your gaze always dropping back down to those heart shaped pillows, Jisoo smirks. The sight makes you weak in the knees but you try not to show it.

"Awww, does somebody want a kiss?" She teases, making kissy noises at you while you blush and look away. 

"Yeah, and what about it?" You challenge, turning back to her. 

Content with how much she's teased you (for now), she rests a hand on the back of your neck as she draws you in closer to her body. Her other hand rests on your thigh, rubbing small circles onto the material of your pants. The moment is innocent enough at first, but the combination of her soft lips against yours and her ministrations on your leg soon makes your blood pressure rise. 

Feeling the stares of other guests passing by, you decide to pull away. She chases your lips, though, pressing one more peck to them before looking into your eyes. 

Your pupils are blown wide; your lips a little darker now, and Jisoo pats herself on the back. You're artwork to her, and she loves to see what she's capable of doing to you. 

"If you keep looking at me like that then we’re gonna miss a big portion of this match.” You say lowly, just loud enough for her to hear. Her eyebrows raise in surprise at what your words imply, and her lips settle in their famous heart pose. 

"Come on then, let's go inside." She says, tugging you up along with her. You guys will have plenty of time for that, later; for now, the most important thing is the event.

-------

Upon entering the spacious room, your ears are filled with theme music being played over the speakers. Chatter from fellow fans can be heard as well, and you take a moment to look around. 

Countless rows of chairs stretch out in front of you, all neatly lined up towards the large stage across the room. A vast majority of them are already taken, but you happen to spot 2 empty ones in what appears to be the 4th row.

"Come on, let's grab those seats." You say, pulling her from her geeked-out stupor. She continues to gape at the layout of the room as you lead her to the chairs, her eyes wide in wonder. Large projectors on either side of the stage take turns displaying pictures of the starting players from both teams. Multicolored lights also shine at various points throughout the room, moving about in predetermined patterns and motions as they cycle. 

Within 10 minutes, the elite players make their entrance, sending the room wild. Introductions are made, and they all take their seats at the different computers lined up on stage. 

"How's everyone doing?" The MC's strong voice booms into the microphone, echoing loudly across the performance hall. The crowd shouts its response and you laugh at how loud Jisoo bellows out her own. 

"We have an amazing set for you here tonight. Teams from across the world have flown in to compete for the 150,000 dollar cash prize, as well as the title of Overwatch league champions!"

The teams clap along at this, some pumping themselves up for the match while others try to appear cocky and unaffected. 

"Our first teams, hailing from the US and Australia, are beyond excited to be here. Let's give them a hand!" He steps back to allow the cameras to get the best possible view of the gamers, and the footage is cast onto big banners hanging from the ceiling. Now everyone, regardless of how far back they're sitting, are able to see them well. 

After the MC interacts with the crowd a little more and some of the players speak to their supporters, the match begins.

Jisoo is never very far from you, always close enough to point out certain things that she notices and comment on their techniques. She's like a sponge, soaking in the different ways to improve her own skills. As much as you love video games yourself, it's hard to pay attention to the game when she looks so unbelievably happy. 

Many rounds later, after the winners are announced, you cross your fingers and take a deep breath. There's one final thing that you didn't tell Jisoo about earlier...

"Now, it's time for what you've all been waiting for! We'll be selecting 3 audience members to join us on stage and play against one another. Let's see who wants a spot!"

The MC shouts cheerily with that million dollar smile plastered onto his face. It's easy to see that he loves his job, and you've enjoyed watching him interact with everyone tonight. 

The large crowd erupts at this and you have to fight to contain your knowing smile. You really have a knack for surprises.

"Jisoo, baby, stand over here. I think you'll be able to get their attention better." 

A subtle nod passes between you and the event organizer you met with earlier, and he says something into his headset. Thankfully Jisoo hadn't questioned why your previous "bathroom break" took 10 minutes, and you were able to make an arrangement with the staff. 

"Pick me!"

"OVER HERE!" 

"I can beat 'em!"

Various shouts and whistles sound out around the venue, all the hopeful candidates vying for the MC's attention. He leans down to listen to his assistant when she taps on his shoulder, informing him of your plan. With a smile slowly spreading across his lips, he looks in your direction and his eyes lock with yours. "Alright, everyone. Who thinks they've got what it takes?" He asks, walking down the stage stairs until he's face to face with the sizable audience. The cameras track his every move as he slowly walks up the large center aisle, some people clapping and reaching to high five him. "The three people I select will compete in a free-for-all for first place. The winner gets 200 dollars and a t-shirt signed by our league champions." His announcement spurs the crowd on even more, somehow, and they cheer at such a great prize. "You, with the Call of Duty shirt!" He calls into the mic, pointing to a teenage boy who looks like he's about to pass out from being noticed. He joins the MC, and together they make their slow voyage towards the back of the room. 

"You, miss, with the Smite hat!" The young woman celebrates with her friend, and you smile as you watch them do a special handshake on the jumbo screen. 

Now, with two enthusiastic players in tow, the MC ambles his way back up to the front. He tries not to make it obvious that he already knows who the final pick is, and thankfully he's a skilled actor. He knows just how to keep the crowd excited and make them think they still stand a chance. 

"Yes, yes, I see that you're all eager to show your talents. But earning this final spot will take some convincing. Quick, everyone strike an epic player pose!" 

Collective shuffling from the audience sounds out in waves as people scoot their chairs out of the way to make room for their stances. Jisoo, however, takes a different approach: with a steadying hand on your shoulder, she places one foot on each of your seats and stands proudly. One of her hands sits on her hip while the other rests an invisible gun on her shoulder. She glances at the MC with a raised brow and steely look in her eye.

Damn, she's good. After seeing how well she's doing right now, you doubt that she even needed your help in the first place. That makes you feel a little better about rigging the results, so it's a true win-win. 

"Pikachu hat, it's your time to shine!" He laughs, motioning for her to come over. In an instant, her previously cool demeanor crumbles and she's left looking like a giddy little girl. She gives you a sweet hug before walking over to the trio. 

-----

After introducing themselves to the room, the 3 hopefuls all sit down next to each other. You can see them eyeing the winners that have gathered around to cheer them on, more star struck than competitive in that moment. Well, at least the other two are: after allowing herself a minute to geek out, Gamer Jisoo™️ takes over and a serious aura befalls your girlfriend. She cracks her knuckles before getting comfortable in her seat, and she steals a glance at you. Her cheek tugs up ever so slightly, the hint of a smirk playing on her lips. 

You make a heart with your hands and blow her a kiss, and she winks at you in return. 

"Let's give them some encouragement!" 

The crowd sounds off once more, and the three of them wish each other luck.

--

It's not a new discovery that your girlfriend is gorgeous, but something about how focused she is is so attractive. She's already taken down at least 5 other players, completely wiping the floor with them while barely batting an eye. Within a few more minutes, only Jisoo and Amelia, the other female audience member, remain. 

"It's neck and neck as our last two competitors face off in the final stretch of the game."

The MC looks genuinely invested following his announcement, and you can almost see the inner 5 year old in him popping out. That's something that you love so much about video games: they can really bring the inner child out of anyone and distract them from life's stressors.

Jisoo's tongue darts out of her mouth, tracing over her lips in concentration as she considers her next move. You can practically see the wheels turning as her eyes dance across the screen, watching the movements of her enemy with the utmost focus.

Poor Amelia seems to be sweating buckets beside Jisoo; the pressure must really be getting to her. She looks intimidated, but she doesn't back down from the challenge. 

And then, it stops. Jisoo fires one final, calculated shot, taking her opponent down within a second. 

In what feels like slow motion, your eyebrows shoot up to your forehead in surprise and you stand up with a shout. You raise your arms above your head, screaming her name as you celebrate and cheer. You're the first thing she looks to once she realizes she's won, and that simple fact makes your heart grow 10 sizes. She smiles adorably as she observes you, grinning even deeper as confetti shoots out of the canons and onto the stage. She raises her head to watch it flutter down, shimmering in the lights as it rides the swirling air currents.

She's proud of herself, and so are you. 

The same event organizer from before approaches you, informing you that you have the all-clear to go greet Jisoo on stage. And that you do: you race towards the stairs, practically flying up them and into her waiting arms. You pick her up and spin her around, getting lost in the feeling of her giggles vibrating against you. 

"You did amazing, baby." You say, taking note of how the curve of her jaw is highlighted by the stage lights. 

"Thank you, Y/N. For everything. Today has been amazing." 

The MC grins at you approvingly, happy to see you guys so ecstatic. Ever the altruist, Jisoo makes sure to go shake hands with her opponents and raise their spirits before coming back to talk to the crowd. 

Once the man has her attention again, he says, "Congratulations, Jisoo. How does it feel to win?"

"It feels great! I have to thank my beautiful girlfriend, though; she's the reason we're even here today." She says humbly, reaching over to squish your cheek. 

A chorus of "ooh's" and "ahhh's" leaves the crowd, all of them gushing at how cute the two of you are. You spot yourself on the jumbo screen and blush with embarrassment. 

His assistant returns with the cash and shirt promised to the winner, and she holds it up for the cameras. The fresh signatures gleam in the light, some of them written with glitter markers while others are in traditional sharpie. 

"Here you go! Enjoy!" He cheers again, motioning for the audience to join him. Everyone does, and Jisoo clutches the material close to her chest triumphantly. The two of you watch everyone send their praise, and she rests her head on your shoulder to fully soak in the moment. 

You eventually exit the stage, waving to all of them as you take your leave. 

With the event now over, you head back to your seat to gather up your belongings and head to the PUBG panel.

"I love you." She says, causing you to pause your movements and look up at her. 

"I love you more." You tease, pulling her in close as you plant a kiss to her temple. She hooks an arm around your neck once you finish grabbing the bags, walking out into the expo hall again. 

"So, since you're rich now, can we go to the arcade on the second floor?" 

"Um, duh. Next mission: Beat Y/N. PUBG can wait." 

You grin cheekily at her confidence before pulling out of her embrace. 

"Race you there!" You shout, laughing as you take off towards the elevator, giving yourself a major head start. 

"Cheater!" She yells, giggling as she chases after you. 

Handle With Care

Requested By @posies4rosie: "Jisoo once gave advice in an interview to people who are having anxiety/depression, that when they feel themselves “slipping under”, they can try turning their thoughts to something lighter and focus on the better things instead before getting consumed. -- Request for reader x Jisoo where reader had one of those episodes and failed to pull herself out, which she thinks she’s failing Jisoo by not being able to help herself, causing her to sink even further. -- Jisoo uses her way to help reader. Angst with a happy ending, please <3"

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,948

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Self-Doubt, Mentions Of Anxiety / Depression, Fluff, Light Smut / Suggestive Themes, Some Cursing, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hello again, my lovely readers! I really enjoyed writing this one, so thank you very much for requesting. I hope all of you enjoy it -- Happy reading!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The day started off like any other, nothing seeming out of place or particularly noteworthy as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and took a look around the room. Jisoo had to leave before you woke up, and a sweet letter on the bedside table served as her parting gift. 

My love, 

We have an early stage today, but I'll be back before you know it. Turn it on if you miss me too much ;)

All my love and kisses,

Your Jichu

It made you smile, imagining her saying those words with a little smirk on her lips, and you mindlessly toyed with the edge of the paper. The power this woman holds over your heart is a bit frightening, if you're honest with yourself. One simple note, merely a paragraph at best, warms your heart immensely. The thought of her alone is capable of making you giddy, magically turning you into a love stricken teenager. She rules your world with care, always making sure you feel important and valued; she fights your demons right beside you, never backing down for a minute. 

Before Jisoo, you falsely thought you knew what love was; the ill-conceived notion that you used as a guide was flawed in every way. You were raised to believe that true, honest love only existed in far-off realms -- in worlds of make-believe; so, naturally, settling had always been your forte. You blended in and stuck with the crowd, always going for the safest option when given the choice. You limited yourself with each decision you made, and deep resentment blossomed within you. 

Resentment at your family for allowing the disease of self-doubt to grow within you. They could've stopped it before it really began; they could've assured you of your worth instead of letting you think your insecurities true. 

Resentment at yourself for believing them. 

Everytime you attempted to break the pattern and listen to your heart when it told you that there was a world beyond such mundanity, some nagging voice in the back of your head told you it was all a lie. Your life so far, as boring as it may have been, was predictable and safe. Although you ached for the unexpected, for some all-consuming thrill to shake up the life you had grown to accept, you always fell back into that old mindset. Your fears outweighed your courage every time, and you knew it was futile to go against them. 

But one day -- one beautiful, fateful day -- you met Jisoo. It was a time in your life that you needed a friend; someone to listen and assure you that things would be okay. In allowing your paths to cross, the universe most certainly blessed you; Jisoo became your confidant in the blink of an eye, offering consistency and understanding, and you let her slip past the walls you spent years so meticulously putting up. 

You didn't do that often, and yet it seemed like a no-brainer with her. She made you feel as though you were enough, that you mattered in a world that so adamantly tried to make you believe otherwise. Her love was unconditional and fierce, thorough and far-reaching.

-

Keeping people at arm's length had always been your way of ensuring that life stayed as predictable as ever, precariously balanced in that safe zone of no risk. Even when you dated people, giving into those innate desires to be cherished despite not deeming yourself worthy, you never really let them in. Not all the way, at least. Something always told you that others were better; closer to perfection. No matter the person, you could always find a reason to say that they were better. That they were something you'd never be; that they had something you'd never have. 

The comparisons didn't stop when you began dating Jisoo, but they sure as hell slowed down some. All of that was her doing; she filled your mind with constant reassurance and love, always showing you what a healthy relationship looked like. Over the years, she learned to read you well: the shifting of your eyes served as a sign that you were getting overwhelmed; the way that you zoned out told her the negative thoughts were barreling in. Though she's convinced you to give yourself some credit in the matter, she's the main one responsible for getting you where you are today.

She's your strength -- your reason for wanting to be better.

-------

"Dalgooomie," you cheerily sing out, your voice echoing throughout the apartment. That familiar sound of paws on hardwood draws a smile from you, and you turn to see him eagerly scrambling towards you. 

"Good morning buddy! Are you ready for a walk?" For a moment, you swear he can understand your high pitched speech; he spins around, wagging his tail happily as he looks towards the door. 

With a laugh, you clip his leash on and the two of you begin your walk. 

It's a gorgeous morning; the sun is peeking up, illuminating a sky of beautifully pastel colors as the grass shines with dew. The beads spring off in different directions, the surface tension of the water breaking every time Dalgom rustles his way through the lawn. You have a feeling that today will be a good day.

If only you knew.

About 15 minutes later, you unlock the front door and grin as he charges into the familiar space. He tugs you with him, drawing a chuckle from you as your feet stumble in through the doorway. 

"Slow down buddy! I know you're hungry but you've gotta give me a second," you shake your head, amused, as you remove his leash and make your way to the kitchen. He follows suit, barking when you take too long for his liking.

"Yah, okay okay!" You scoop his food into the bowl and pat him on the head as he begins to eat.

A ding from your phone sounds off, the notification surprising you a little. Great timing, you think to yourself.

"About to go on stage, I'll text you later. Xoxo"

Your heart warms at the message, and you type a quick reply before heading to the couch to turn the tv on. 

At first, all is well: you watch your girlfriend in awe, always so enraptured by her performances. During one portion of the program, you even run upstairs to retrieve your lightstick and dance around in the middle of the living room. As much as Jisoo can't believe you actually bought one, she thinks it's the most adorable thing ever. 

Everything was going well, truly, until towards the end of the show, when the girls were interviewed with a few other idols. One in particular, a female soloist, stood beside Jisoo, looking completely at ease next to her. She was beautiful in every way imaginable, and you couldn't help but begin to compare yourself. You tried to focus on how happy Jisoo looked as she joked with her members, answering the questions with that quick wit you love so much. But your mind soon again filled with intrusive thoughts, taking the focus away from Jisoo.

She looks so much prettier than you do

Watch how she's looking at Jisoo

They look pretty together

What if Jisoo likes her?

I bet she does

You physically shake your head in an attempt to force the thoughts out. Jisoo loves you, you know that. She's with you for a reason. Eventually you're able to look at the tv again without grimacing, but soon that progress is destroyed all over again. 

The soloist puts her hand on Jisoo's arm, motioning to the girls and herself as she explains something to the MC. She must've cracked a joke, said something really hilarious, because all of them burst into laughter. Jisoo throws her head back, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth as she giggles loudly. That joyous sound hurts you now, almost feeling like she's laughing at you. 

It's ridiculous and immature, but your brain takes it there no less. You know better, but your mind is flooded with insecurity and fear, overrun by your unforgiving worries. Tears are streaming down your face as the thoughts grow worse and worse, and it feels suffocating. You consider yourself weak for blowing such a seemingly innocent thing so out of proportion, twisting what should be a positive thing for your girlfriend into something negative. But you can't help it. Your brain betrays you, coming up with hundreds of hurtful scenarios that pile on until you can't breath. It's a physical pain, one far too overwhelming to "wish away" now. You turn off the tv and dart up the stairs, set on crying into your pillow until your mind decides to give you a break.

-------

"Y/N, baby, I'm home." Jisoo calls, and you can hear the material of her jacket slide onto the metal hook beside the front door. 

"In here," you say weakly, cursing your voice for even hinting that you're less than okay. For Jisoo, you want to be perfect; you want to seem like you have your shit together. She must not have thought anything out of the ordinary, though, because soon you hear a little giggle from the hallway. 

"Hi Dalgomie, did you miss mommy?" She coos, her voice higher than usual and bouncy as she bends down to scoop up the pup. She pads her way into the kitchen, talking to him all the while. Her free arm snakes around your waist once she reaches you, and she leans around to kiss your temple.

The action was loving and simple -- it shouldn't have made your heart ache. Perhaps it wasn't the act itself that caused it; maybe it was the accumulation of all of your emotions from the day coming to the surface. The feeling of Jisoo's arm around you reminded you of earlier; of how close she was to that woman on the program. They looked incredible, clad in the blingy outfits you could never afford and elegant in their mannerisms. It all brought forth the nasty idea that she's just settling for you -- that she's only with you because she feels sorry for you. 

When you don't start a conversation like normal or even turn to look at her, Jisoo knows something's wrong. Gently, she kisses Dalgom's head before setting him down on the ground. He trots off towards god-knows-where, and you almost wish to be him. You want to avoid the discussion you'll surely be having any minute now; running away has always been your go-to.

But Jisoo won't stand for that. She's mature and honest in every way, and she knows how to handle you. 

"My love, what's wrong?"

She's earnestly concerned, and her tone lets you know she doesn't want you to brush the problem away. Without even knowing the issue yet, Jisoo can tell it's something worth working through. 

"I had an episode today and I wasn't able to stop it." You hang your head, your fingers busying themselves by toying with the bread bag in front of you. Once you had stopped crying earlier, you came down to make yourself some food; after all, you hadn't eaten all day.

Jisoo tuts at you, slowly turning you around to face her. The back of your legs lean against the counter now, and tears threaten to spill out of your eyes. A few moments of silence pass, Jisoo giving you the opportunity to elaborate. She always offers you the option to initiate the process, not wanting to risk diminishing your feelings before even knowing what's troubling you. She never patronizes you, and you're endlessly thankful.

With a deep breath, you lower your gaze to the floor and continue. Seeing the disappointment in her eyes is definitely not something you can handle in your already emotional state. 

"I turned your show on today and saw the pretty idol you were talking to. I started comparing myself and it all got worse from there." You inform quickly, just wanting to get the words out. 

She sets her jaw, clenching and releasing the muscles repeatedly as she decides on how best to respond. 

"Did you use the technique we talked about?" She asks gently, releasing the question with care.

"I tried, but it didn't work this time." A single tear rolls down your cheek, and you swipe it away before Jisoo can even notice it.

You feel like you're failing her by giving into your worries, but they're incessant. They fight for your attention, completely overruling any "happy thought" that you might have previously hoped would be capable of mitigating your fears. You're disappointed in yourself, but since when is that a new thing?

"She's an idol, Jisoo. She can relate to you in ways I'll never be able to." 

"You think I'd throw away 4 years with you to be with someone I barely know, because we can relate?"

She voices your fears in such a way that you instantly feel foolish for believing them. Nevertheless, you persist. 

"She's everything I'm not."

"And that's precisely why you never have to worry."

With furrowed brows, you tilt your head and look at Jisoo: her statement confuses you.

"No one else even comes close to you, baby. You're what I want. You're who I want. Every little thing that makes you who you are is a reason I love you." 

Your heart beats harder at her words, taken aback by how genuine they sound. She's saying all the things you need to hear, but it feels too good to be true.

"Loving me is exhausting; I don't see why you keep doing it. You should be with someone who doesn't need coddling… who isn't broken like me. We go in circles, Jisoo. I always go back to giving into my fears." 

She lets out a disbelieving scoff, soft in its volume as she says, "If I wanted to leave, I would've. You've given me more than enough chances to go, and still I have yet to find a reason to. I'm not perfect either, Y/N. You act like everyone else is so high above you, but we're really all just dealing with our own baggage."

"I have enough of that for 10 people." The phrase is pointed and self depreciating, and Jisoo can't take it any longer. 

"Stop. Look at me, baby." She finally breathes out, hooking her fingers underneath your chin and raising your head. 

"Whether or not you think I'm making a mistake, I'm always gonna choose you. My life isn't complete without you in it; our stories became intertwined the day we met."

Her cheek briefly tugs up in a lopsided smile at the memory of your first meeting.

"I'm just scared, Jisoo. Do you know how many times people have told me they'd stay, just to leave the moment they found someone better? I know I'm not easy to love; I know it's difficult. I just can't imagine what I'd do without you. You've made me feel emotions I never even knew existed."

You're more honest with Jisoo than anyone else, and being so vulnerable scares you. Nevertheless, it feels good to open up sometimes. 

"You'll never have to find out what that's like, because I'm never leaving. Do you understand how in love with you I am? I don't think you do." 

You slip your chin out of her hold again, still disappointed in yourself. The action hurts her more than you know, and you miss the way her face contorts into a sad frown. 

"When I roll over in the morning and see your face on that pillow, I don't know what to do with myself. When I'm holding you and Dalgom cuddles in between us, it's like I see a glimpse into my future. When you smile at me it's like I can finally breathe again. My home is with you; please don't ever doubt that. You're my world."

And then, you hear it. The noise that very rarely ever comes from your girlfriend. A sniffle.

Your eyes shoot up to hers in an instant, searching through her deep pools as you step forward to cradle her face in your hands. She tries to turn away, already upset with herself -- she knows you'll blame yourself for her tears. 

Jisoo only cries in front of you when she's frustrated or deeply moved, and sometimes when she's scared. As you run a thumb along her cheek, you attempt to figure out her reasoning for it this time. 

Once she eventually accepts that you aren't letting her get away, she leans into your touch.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You sell yourself so short. The fact that you think you're anything less than incredible devastates me. You're amazing in every capacity… and so, so beautiful." 

Her voice wavers, taut with the emotions she's still reeling from. She says the words so assuredly that you begin to give in and believe them. She makes them sound like simple facts; common knowledge to any and everyone. On top of that, you're pained beyond belief that anything of your doing makes her this sad. She deserves to be smiling constantly, so hard her cheeks hurt and her belly aches from laughing. 

"I'll never be able to see myself like you do, Jisoo, but I'm willing to work on it. You've already helped me more than you'll ever know, and I've come pretty far. Sometimes I just can't keep the thoughts at bay." 

She nods, moving the hand that previously rested on your hip to hold your wrist. She strokes the skin gently, leaning further into your touch as her eyes soften with understanding. 

"I love you. Thank you for dealing with me." You utter, leaning forward to rest your forehead against hers. She sighs at your words, rubbing a comforting circle on your back. 

"Thank you for letting me in, jagi. Saranghae." 

Your lips move to meet hers now, halfway, both of you needing to feel each other. It's slow and meaningful; she takes her time with it, treating it just like she does your heart. You tilt her head to deepen the kiss, noting the warmth that her cheeks still radiate as you trail your fingers over her skin.

A subtle shiver courses through her at your ministrations, drawing a smile from you. You'll never get tired of kissing her; of having her wrapped in your arms, so close to you. Vulnerable moments like these remind you of how different she is from everyone else. She's your everything and then some, and she needs you as much as you need her. 

A bit impatient now, Jisoo tugs at your bottom lip, silently asking for more. You tap her thighs before looping your hands underneath them, swiftly lifting her onto the kitchen counter. The thin material of her skirt sits a little higher up on her legs now, having ridden up as you moved her. 

She hooks her legs around you as you move to stand in between them, preventing her from falling and keeping her as close as possible. You break the kiss to study her for a moment, lazily running your fingers along the newly exposed skin of her thighs. Her hair is on its way to being mussed, the curls from her earlier performance now coming undone. 

Her tongue darts out of her mouth to moisten her lips as she drinks in the sight of you. The top 2 buttons of your blouse are open, allowing her eyes to gaze at your chest wantonly. 

She trails a hand up your body, teasing you before she grips your collar and yanks you forward. 

Your lips meet again but this kiss holds something different than before: it's passionate, full of need. She adjusts her posture so that her body is flush against you, enabling you to feel how hard her heart is beating. No one else is capable of making her feel this way, and she's determined to remind you of that.

You bite her bottom lip before smoothing your tongue over it to soothe any ache your actions might've caused. The act is welcomed by Jisoo, proven by the groan that vibrates in her throat. Her hands tangle in your hair as you lower your head to her neck, pressing your lips to the tender skin. 

"A-ah, right there," she husks out, her voice deepened with desire. Her wish is your command, and you take your time in leaving a mark there. You continue your assault, leaving a trail of purple-ish bruises in your wake as you move to untouched patches of skin. She knowingly spurs your actions on by moaning into your ear when you bite with just the right amount of pressure, her breath hot on your neck. 

You pull away to admire your work, knowing her makeup artist will have a field day with covering up all of your marks. She leans back a bit, slowly swiveling her hips as she uses her ankles to pull you closer. 

Her movements fuel the heat pooling between your legs, and you don't even attempt to stop the moan that leaves you. She knows you so well; she knows exactly what gets you going, just what to do and say.

"Come here," you command, securing her legs around your waist as you lift her off of the counter. Her lips find yours again, keeping them occupied as you walk towards the couch -- trekking up to the bedroom would take far too long. 

"Tell me what you want, baby." You say, laying her down on the plush cushions. She pulls you against herself again, smiling at the feeling of your hips pressed into her. At first, she defies you, opting to push her lips against yours instead of answering your question. You know what to do to make her talk, though. Slyly, you pull away, barely ghosting your lips over hers. It's just enough contact to make her want more, but not enough to satisfy her. 

With a press of your thigh to her center, she's already bucking her hips up into you, reaching up to reclaim your lips. She whines as you pull further away, not allowing her to kiss you until she gives you an answer. 

"Use your words, Jisoo." You add your hand into the mix of things driving her crazy as you trail it down her body, allowing your fingers to sneak under the hem of her shirt and skim over her abdomen.

She looks at you defiantly, causing you to quirk an eyebrow. Challenging you, is she? Two can play at that game. 

You apply more pressure to her core, allowing her to take pleasure in two more strong strokes against your thigh before pulling away completely. 

"Fuck- no. Y/N…" she pleads, reaching for you again. She's really getting worked up now. 

A smirk crosses your lips at her desperation, and you almost have to stifle a chuckle. She knows you're stubborn, and denying herself release seems idiotic when all she has to do is listen to you. So, she gives in.

"I want your mouth; your fingers. All of you." 

Your cocky persona falters a bit at her words and you feel the blood rushing through your veins at the way she said them. Her voice was raw with lust, dripping with desire as she eyed you. 

"Was that so hard, baby?" You tease, resuming your previous movements with a smirk. 

"Shut up and kiss me." She huffs out, half annoyed and half amused.

"Yes ma'am." You press your lips to hers and get started on meeting her demands. 

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 2 -- Click Here

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1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves? 

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ. 

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise. 

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her. 

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud. 

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly. 

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced. 

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked. 

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him. 

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark. 

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along." 

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you. 

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness. 

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday. 

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all. 

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger. 

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks. 

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you." 

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always. 

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips. 

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle. 

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had. 

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it. 

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square. 

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts. 

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features. 

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream. 

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you. 

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine. 

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy. 

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance. 

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold. 

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too." 

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment. 

"Okay Y/N-yah." 

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please." 

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile. 

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source. 

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it. 

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?" 

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two. 

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored. 

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process. 

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease. 

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around. 

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group. 

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert. 

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting. 

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side. 

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being. 

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids. 

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily." 

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile. 

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works. 

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now. 

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't. 

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day. 

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though." 

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes. 

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye. 

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name. 

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you. 

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly. 

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you. 

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up. 

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise. 

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier. 

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains. 

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence. 

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful 

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door. 

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her. 

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you. 

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less. 

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position. 

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class. 

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked. 

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold. 

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you. 

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it. 

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing. 

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly. 

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll. 

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?" 

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes." 

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!" 

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless." 

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank. 

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first." 

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable." 

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that. 

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin. 

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral. 

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it. 

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile. 

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator. 

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window." 

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air. 

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score. 

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate. 

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her. 

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying. 

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye." 

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem. 

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you." 

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless." 

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly. 

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?" 

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission. 

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters. 

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't. 

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily. 

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay. 

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center. 

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it. 

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile. 

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless. 

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you. 

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her. 

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can. 

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space. 

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'. 

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?" 

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM." 

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better. 

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems. 

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return. 

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again. 

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her. 

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing. 

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all." 

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming. 

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy. 

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy. 

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable. 

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food. 

"Yep, definitely related." 

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway. 

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase. 

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you." 

"Must be my awesomeness." 

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away. 

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright. 

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm. 

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked. 

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of." 

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong. 

"I'm sure you're better than you think." 

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you. 

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye. 

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on. 

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character. 

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately. 

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line. 

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans. 

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it. 

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer. 

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you. 

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision. 

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?" 

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room. 

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise. 

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly. 

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you. 

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop. 

"What about it?" 

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason. 

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't.  Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway. 

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't. 

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you." 

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first. 

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away. 

Click Here For Part 2

Yours Truly (Pt. 2)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Here's the second and final part of the imagine, gang. I hope you enjoy the adventures I wrote for you! Let me know about your fav part(s)!

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 1 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

5.) Epiphanies

A Week Later

"Yuqi, why the hell did you drag me here? I'd so much rather be writing…" you shove your hands further into the pockets of your hoodie and look at her with a scowl. Rows of people fill the bleachers around you, everyone excited for the football game that's scheduled to start soon. Happy couples sit together all around the stadium, and the sight only works to remind you of how weird things are with Jisoo right now.

"One: it's a Friday night and you need to let loose, and two: I wanted to come, so you have to tag along by default. The rules of friendship are very simple, Y/N," she trails off, tilting her head at you with a smile. 

"Well I am gonna go get some food," you imitate her, "Do you want anything?" You stand from the bench and look down at her, noticing how her permed hair sticks up in a few different places. You smooth it out for her as she answers, "Nachos, please." 

"Alright, dork. I'm sure the line's kinda long, but come look for me if I'm not back in 20." She pats your butt as you leave, and you just shake your head with a smile. 

"--I know! Did you hear about Lee's new girlfriend? I heard she got in a fight with his ex last ni--"

"I'm fucking starving bro."

"Yeah, they totally hooked up at Jackson's party!"

Various conversations work their way to your ears as you walk towards the back of the line, but you attempt to not get too invested in the gossip. As welcoming as your school tends to be, even it has its fair share of scandals and drama. You've never been one to care about rumors though, and you don't plan to start now.

"I heard that Jisoo likes someone." 

Funny how plans can change in an instant, don't you think? 

You can't find it in yourself to ignore the childish desire to eavesdrop, so you listen in as the line slowly shifts forward with each new customer served, doing your best to be inconspicuous. 

"Supposedly she's been into them for a while but they don't know about it. I guess Lisa is planning to get them together tonight or something, I don't know." You recognize the brunette speaking as Seulgi, a dance major that you share a couple classes with. She's talking to Yeri, whom you've seen a few times in passing. 

That must be why she was defensive about the kiss; she has feelings for someone else. 

"Ooh, that'll be interesting. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, though; now Jisoo's gonna be off the market." The shorter girl frowns, basically reading your mind with her statement. You've never fooled yourself into believing you have a chance with Jisoo, but knowing that she'll be whisked away by some lucky classmate of yours definitely isn't an easy pill to swallow. 

You pass the remaining wait time by imagining who that person may be. Jisoo has a lot of friends, but you've never seen her around campus with any particular love interest; she always puts her studies first, deciding that her education is far more important than any potential relationship.

You remain lost in your thoughts until it's your turn to order.

"Hey Y/N, what can I get for you?" The cashier greets, resetting the register as she grins at you. 

"Hi Yeji," you smile back, happy to see your old friend again after what feels like forever. Your busy schedules have kept you from hanging out much lately, but seeing her now is something you're grateful for. "I'll take two waters, a medium nacho, and 1 hot dog, please." 

"You want everything on it?" She asks in reference to your last request, assuming you still stick with the order you used to go with in your childhood. 

"You know it. And make sure to--"

"--spread the toppings out well. I remember, girl." She says with a wink, turning around to get started on your order. The familiar interaction warms your heart, aided by the idea that some things never change. After she packages your things up in a convenient little container, you thank her and pay, walking away with a promise to meet up at the school's café next week.

About halfway back to your seat, something unexpected happens.

"Rosie, we can't buy out the whole place. This is the 4th trip we've taken back here and the game hasn't even started yet!" You freeze as you round the corner, almost dropping your food as Jisoo's low voice sounds off nearby. 

"Unnie, I didn't even get to eat much of the other stuff at all! Lisa and Jennie stole it and shared it with everyone else," the artist pouts, rolling her hands into fists at her sides like a toddler. 

"Fine. But this is the last trip I'm taking." She warns, rolling her eyes when the Australian attacks her with a flurry of kisses. "Yah! Let's go before we miss something." She says, pushing her off of her with a smile on her face. 

Even her voice makes your heart ache, and it reminds you of what her kiss felt like against your lips. It was short, no doubt, and barely there; but the sparks remain, waiting to be reignited anytime she's around. Maybe you're just destined to pine.

----

"There you are! I was literally about to go steal some food from Shuhua because you were taking so long." 

"Yeah, yeah," you say, sitting down beside Yuqi with the cardboard box in your hands. "You're lucky I love you enough to pay for this. Now I'll have to survive on 3 grains of rice and ramen for the next few weeks." 

"Oh, the struggles of being a broke college student." She says woefully, clutching her hands together in front of her chest to add to the effect. 

"Precisely," you agree, scooting closer to offer her some nachos. When she tries to greedily take the whole tray of them, you're quick to stop her. 

"Ah, ah, ah," you warn, pulling her wrist back down. "We're sharing, chica." She huffs, but eventually settles down and decides to shove her face full instead of protesting anymore. 

Now, with your best friend happily eating, you relax and begin to prepare yourself for the match. 

--

"LET'S GO!" You shout with Yuqi, chanting together as your school's anthem echoes throughout the stadium. The rival team has been behind the entire game, but they closed the gap in the last few minutes and now it's neck and neck. Your band plays loudly to encourage your team, and it seems to be working; they manage to repeatedly hold the others off and keep them from scoring. 

It's the start of the fourth quarter now -- the home stretch. With their spirits still high, your team continues to keep victory out of their opponents hands. The black paint underneath their eyes is really streaked now, showing all the effort and sweat that they've put into the game so far. A beautiful sunset just previously gave way to a rapidly darkening evening sky, allowing some stars to peek out now.

"My high school team sucked; this is epic!" Yuqi says, making you laugh. You tear your eyes away from the heated game to say something to her, but all thoughts soon disappear from your mind and you stop mid-sentence. 

She notices your sudden silence and looks at you, only realizing what's happening once she follows your line of sight. Jeong is standing against the metal fence that borders the track, mingling with everyone at the bottom of the bleachers. That doesn't bother you, but what you see next certainly does; you spot Jisoo beside him, giggling at something he said as he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. 

"Oh shit," Yuqi breathes out, fully grasping the weight of the situation now. She doesn't even attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he knows how in love you are with Jisoo and yet there he is, flirting away. He's the only other person besides Yuqi who knows of your feelings for the brunette, and you really trusted him with it. Clearly that was a mistake. You blink a few times and set your jaw, quickly looking away as he moves closer to whisper something in her ear over the noise of the crowd. 

"I'm gonna head out to the car. Just let me know who wins," you mumble, brushing past her on your way toward the exit. You know there's no way you'd be able to focus on the game anymore after seeing that, so going is your best option. She catches your arm before you can slip away, and says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. And don't even try to tell me no; I can always watch highlights later. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now." 

Knowing it's pointless to argue anymore, you nod once and wait for her to gather up her trash and coat. "Let's go," she says, taking your hand after tossing her garbage in the can conveniently placed at the end of your row. She squeezes it a few times for reassurance, and a bittersweet smile works onto your lips at the gesture. 

You don't notice how Jisoo's eyes follow you, every fiber of her being yelling at her to go after you. She hates seeing you sad, and although she isn't 100% sure of the reason for it now, all she wants is to cheer you up. 

"So, Jisoo. Do you have any plans after the game?" Jeong smirks, quirking a brow suggestively at his own question. Jisoo grimaces, saying, "Yeah, I do. I have to study." She tries to find you in the crowd again, but it seems that you've already slipped away. 

"We're throwing a party tonight, you should come." He leans a little closer to her, but she takes a step back. The only reason she's even talking to him right now is because Lisa introduced them, and it would be impolite not to. She turns him down, yet again sneaking a glance around the stadium. 

"No wonder Y/N's too chicken to ask you out; you're hard to get, but I don't mind a challenge." Her head whips around at his statement, heart regaining that familiar uptick at the mention of you. "What?" She blinks, not believing her ears. Surely she was just hearing things. 

"I said I don't mind a challenge," his words come out slightly slurred, and the effects of the alcohol he's been drinking are beginning to show themselves in all the wrong ways. The more he talks, the less Jisoo can stand him. "Look, Jeong -- I'm not interested. I'm sure there are other girls here that would love to get to know you, but I'm not one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, turning her body to the side to maneuver around him and get to the stairs. He lets her go without another word, his pride too bruised to come up with a more fitting response than a muttered insult. 

She makes quick work of getting to the parking lot, where she spots you approaching Yuqi's car, head hanging a bit. Seeing you upset saddens her, and she's determined to find out what's wrong. 

"Y/N! Wait up!" The shout catches your attention, and you slowly spin around. Jisoo begins to jog out to you, and a scoff slips past your lips (though you don't put much effort into stopping it). You're hurt, and half of the reason for your pain is staring right back at you like nothing happened. 

"What do you want, Jisoo?" You sigh, not looking forward to where this conversation will most certainly go.

"I want to talk, Y/N." She's in front of you now, scanning her eyes between yours to gauge your reaction. 

"What is there to say? Just go back to talking to Jeong; you looked like you were enjoying yourself." She can hear the jealousy laced in your tone, and things finally -- finally -- begin to click for her. 

"Is that what this is about?" She asks in reference to your sadness. The question isn't accusatory at all; she's genuinely trying to piece things together. 

A disbelieving laugh leaves you at that. How is she still so oblivious? "Yes, Jisoo, it is. I just had to witness someone who I thought was my friend flirt with my crush. So yeah, that's what this is about." Sensing that she doesn't know what to say, you decide to conclude things for her. This is already pitiful enough, and you'd rather spare the both of you from having the "it's not you, it's me" talk. 

"Look, I get it. You don't like me back, and you were only trying to be friendly by inviting me to the rehearsal that night. Just please, for the both of us, forget it even happened. Forget all of this. It was a mistake, and I won't do it again."

Jisoo hates that you're jumping to conclusions without even knowing her true feelings; you automatically think that she couldn't possibly feel the same, and you use her moment of silence as a form of evidence to prove that. The complete opposite is true, though you'd never give her enough time to straighten out her jumbled thoughts and tell you that. 

She finds her voice when you turn away, and she reaches out to touch your hand. "Stop, you've got it all wrong." Your eyes glance down to your intertwined hands, but you wiggle out of her grip with a heavy sigh. Over your shoulder, you shakily say, "You don't have to pretend for me, Jisoo. I'll be alright. If he makes you happy, then so be it." 

With that, you get in Yuqi's car and tell her to drive away, leaving Jisoo to deal with the sinking feeling in her chest that worsens as the car's tail lights grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. You're gone, and she really has no idea how to come back from this. 

6.) Broken Hearted

The next few weeks were hell. You avoided Jisoo as much as possible, too embarrassed to face her after what happened and too weak to be close to her again. You'd surely fall even harder if you allowed yourself to grow any closer, so you didn't take the risk. How could you? Falling alone isn't an enjoyable experience, and you've been teetering on the edge of no return ever since that afternoon at the daycare. 

It was hard enough to escape her hold -- her face was everywhere, plastered on ads and bulletin boards all throughout campus, on reminders and sign ups for student council. You used your sick days in order to hide away in your dorm and block out the world, only being comforted by Ryujin when she wasn't busy with her own life or Yuqi when she could spare a few hours. They always made sure to care for you as much as they could, knowing first hand how tough heartbreak can be -- especially with the added stress of schoolwork. 

One person you thought about often was Jeong. Every time he'd cross your mind, dirtying up your brainwaves with the mere notion of himself, you'd grimace. He didn't deserve the attention, and yet you couldn't help but question why he did that to you. He hadn't reached out since that night, likely due to Yuqi giving him a piece of her mind after the game. He made it clear that he wasn't sorry, and that if given the chance, he'd play his cards even better and hopefully score a date with Jisoo. 

Maybe that was the worst part of it all. Hearing that it hadn't just been a stupid thing he did because he was drunk; he realized the weight of his actions, and he'd do it again, over and over, without caring about how you fit into the equation. That football game was simply a turning point, hidden in plain sight as an unassuming night for you to hang out with Yuqi. But you learned more then than you had ever intended to; Jeong's selfish, and he probably never even cared for you in the first place. The idea of that makes you feel dirty -- like you wasted so much of your time with such a horrible person, sticking up for him and defending his name when he wasn't around when he never even deserved that in the first place. You wish you would've known who he really was back then; you would've stayed away. 

Unbeknownst to you, Jisoo was struggling much like you -- minus the whole "betrayed by a best friend" situation. Every time that she showed up in class, she hoped with every piece of herself that you'd walk through the door and grace the room with your presence. You seldom ever did, though -- but when you ran out of free days of absence and were forced to attend class in order to keep your grades up, you never even uttered a word to her. She'd make it a point to ask questions in class, hoping that hearing her voice would bring something out of you, as yours did to her. She longed to talk to you again, if only for a minute; but your resolve remained strong, and her determination grew weaker as the days went by. 

Being the person she is, though, she knew giving up wasn't an option. After a few weeks of that cycle, greeting stands were placed at the front doors of each complex on campus, manned by different members of the council. She came up with a story for the administration on the fly, using her people skills to convince them that it would be good for student morale and getting more people to join clubs. It was a great effort, but she underestimated your avoidance skills; you thwarted her plans again, slipping right through her strategically linked fingers. 

Eventually, she lost hope. She exhausted every option she knew to try, and the girls ran out of new ones as well. Seeing their unnie so upset saddened them, and they did all they could to cheer her up in any and every way they knew how. 

7.) Premiere Night

"Y/N, get up. You're gonna shower and get dressed if I have to force you to do it myself." Yuqi commands, blasting into your room and flipping on the overhead light that shines far too bright for your liking. 

"Mmm," you groan in protest, not even bothering to roll over. 

"I mean it; don't test me, you know I'm true to my word."

"Why, Yuqi?"

"Because we're going to the performance tonight. The big show that everyone has been going on about is premiering, and you're coming with me to see it."

"I can't do that." You say, her words sobering you up from your sleepy stupor.

"I know who the lead is," she informs, already knowing about your reasons for being hesitant, "and that's precisely why we're going. You can't keep living like this, so either go get your girl, or agree to be friends with her and work past what you're dealing with." 

"You sound like a mom at the end of an 80s movie."

"80s movie moms are valid, so I'll take that as a compliment. Now go!" She shouts, shoving you off the bed. You tumble to the floor in a heap of blankets and pillows, still managing to hit your funny bone as you let out a pained groan. 

"Remind me to slap her later, Ryujin." 

"Will do." She salutes, reaching a hand down to help you up. With one last glare at an annoyingly bubbly Yuqi, you head to the bathroom to shower. 

----

"How do I look?" You ask, looking yourself up and down in the skinny mirror attached to the wall. 

"Is it gay if I say I'd ask you out?" Yuqi asks with a smile, fanning herself animatedly when you strike a pose. 

"Very much so, yes." 

"Well, hand me the rainbow suspenders, then." 

You push her over with a laugh -- the first real one you've shared in a while -- and wrap her in a hug. 

"Thank you, for real. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you." You say against her shoulder, pulling back to look at your roommate and add, "Either of you." The three of you settle in for a group hug and tell a few more jokes before Yuqi finally drags you out of the dorm. 

----

"How does it feel to be back in society?" Yuqi whispers, leaning in close to you to read the seat numbers printed on your tickets. 

"As lame as ever." You add, amusingly unenthused. 

"You're never gonna convince Jisoo to date your dumbass with that attitude." She retorts, feeling a little guilty when she sees your expression change upon hearing her name. You're afraid to see where the two of you will stand at the end of the night, so saying it's still a sore subject is the understatement of the year. 

"I'm messing with you, dude. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it's her loss; but I highly doubt that's the case. I've heard she misses you a lot." For once, Yuqi's words are halfway encouraging to hear, and you let out a light smile. 

"Well I'm prepared to worry about that whole situation later. For now, let's find our seats and enjoy the show." Your best friend quickly agrees, and the two of you squeeze through the crowds in the aisles to get to your row. 

----

"Jisoo, I promise you'll do well. You've been practicing for months; you've got this," Soo-hyun says, rubbing his co-lead's back in reassuring circles. The certainty in his deep voice gives Jisoo some semblance of security, and she stands to look at him with one final, nervous sigh. Stage fright has never been this big of an issue for her, but the size of the crowd and the idea that you might be out there scare the hell out of her. She wants you to be there with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle watching you walk away again. The past few weeks have been torture, and she misses your presence and witty remarks more than she ever thought possible. 

"Thank you, Soo-hyun. I'll meet you out there in a couple minutes, just let me collect myself."

He nods and says, "Take your time. I'll let Mrs. Choi know," before leaving and shutting the door behind himself. Now alone again, Jisoo digs through her personal bag that lays neatly on the small futon of the dressing room. When her fingers come in contact with that familiar material she's spent hours staring at, she bites the inside of her cheek and unfolds it for the millionth time. Multiple poems and blurbs litter the page, accompanied by cute doodles and cartoons here and there that give it a personal feel. She's spent the time away from you methodically working through the different writings, restraining herself from reading all of them in one setting so that she can have new content from time to time. 

She's down to the last one, now, and a surprising sort of realization hits her when she reads it. It instills within her a sense of determination -- determination to get you back and set things right, one way or another. She makes a plan to find you after the performance.

-- After The Performance -- 

It was even more spectacular than you ever imagined it could be. The school spared no expense in getting the best props, employing the most skilled technicians on hand, and recruiting the best artists that the school had to paint the backdrops. Everyone behind the scenes worked tirelessly to produce the best show possible, and their efforts really paid off. 

And, of course, you can't forget the actors. 

The entire cast was incredible, their talent matching some of the world's most sought-after stars. Every part was played to perfection; even the smaller, supporting roles were acted with passion, really bringing the piece together as a whole. The production left you wanting more, too inspired and awestruck by the amazing performances to be content with just seeing it once. So, after numerous calls for an encore, the cast returned to run through a few of their key scenes. 

---

As the cast takes their final bow, large cannons placed on either side of the stage shoot out bursts of colorful confetti, and you watch it flutter down around them. Some try to catch a piece or two to add to their scrapbooks, wanting to have a trinket from their college years, while others just hug each other and twirl around with content smiles on their faces. The crowd continues its loud cheering, and eventually you find the courage to sneak a glance at Jisoo.

To your surprise, she's looking right back. 

Her eyes hold a mixed softness; she's proud of herself and glad that you came to support her on such a big night, but part of her wants to escape the busyness of it all and tell you everything she's been feeling. She'd be content with looking at you forever, she realizes, as she studies you. You're the true star in her eyes, always shining so bright and making everyone feel at home whenever they're around you. She hopes you know how special you are. 

Mrs. Choi approaches the cast from stage right, gathering their attention to congratulate them and commend them for their performances. Jisoo reluctantly looks away from you, unsure if it's the last time she'll be seeing you tonight. The thought upsets her, but there isn't much she can do about it right now; so, she gives her attention to her professor and flashes that smile that makes everyone weak in the knees. 

You knew it was just a matter of time before she'd be pulled away and immersed in some conversation about the show, but the selfish side of you never wanted her to look away. No matter how confusing things may be because of all of your unresolved issues, she still looks at you like she always had before -- her gaze is kind, albeit bittersweet, but it's full of care. Seeing her like that makes you feel like even more of an asshole than you already do -- maybe you should have just listened to her at the game. Running away was an immature choice, rooted entirely in your own sadness in that moment as you deprived yourself of any explanation she could've offered, though you can't judge yourself too harshly. The situation is complicated, and you still don't know whether to hate yourself for running or go easy on yourself in light of what happened. 

When Yuqi sees you stand up and shuffle towards the end of your row, she sends you a warning look. 

"Dude, I'm not gonna run away. I'm literally just gonna step outside for some fresh air, I promise." She visibly relaxes, no longer having to prepare herself to wrangle you back into the seat. 

"Fine. But if you aren't back in 15 minutes I'm coming to track you down. You really need to talk to her." 

You sigh, nodding in agreement. "I know, trust me. Just let me get my thoughts together first." She sends you off to do just that, but not until the two of you complete the special handshake you made up all those months ago. 

---

Brisk air rushes over your skin in waves the moment you exit the side door of the building, automatically sending goosebumps to raise in its wake. It feels nice, though; it grounds you, and works to cool off your heated skin. The atmosphere inside was thick with the tension you've been feeling ever since what happened that night at the game, and its effects were only heightened by the raw performances of the evening. Passion and longing were the driving factors of the play, ironically, and many of the scenes drew eerie parallels to your current situation. So, it's no wonder that you're thankful to step away from it all for a bit.

You greet a few stray audience members that're puttering around outside as well, opting to walk down a little further away from them and lean against the building. The wall's brick material feels rough against your back, lightly scratching it whenever you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You don't mind it, though; it's oddly nostalgic, somehow. 

When you hear the door open again, you think nothing of it. The metal hinges latch just the same as they had for you, so there's really no reason for you to even look up. However, that all changes when you feel someone's eyes on you.

Unprepared is leaps and bounds away from being a fitting statement to describe how you feel in that moment; Jisoo stands merely 10 feet away from you at most, right next to the stage door that she just came out of. Her hands fiddle with the drawstrings of her costume, seemingly always needing to be occupied when she's nervous or unsure of herself; it's a habit you've picked up on after seeing it so many times. 

The longer you look at her, the more you want to look away; she's so beautiful it hurts, and the silence is eating away at you. You can't blame her, though; neither of you know what to say or do, and the only thing you seem capable of is staring at each other. When you break the intense eye contact you were sharing to turn away, only intending to take a minute to collect yourself, Jisoo is suddenly set in motion. 

She's afraid you'll leave again, and she's prepared to fight even harder for you this time.

I love you as the stars love the night sky

A fateful, cyclic romance

A game of eager greetings and reluctant goodbyes

Those words -- ones that you remember penning one day in class while completely entranced by Jisoo -- roll from her lips effortlessly, as if she had spent time committing them to memory. She had, in fact; whenever days passed without her even catching a glimpse of you, she always found herself unfolding that note again, tracing a finger over the curve of your unique letters as she reread the poem. It always brought her comfort to think that you were in just as deep as her, and a similar sense of hope blossoms in her chest now when she spots an unbelieving smile tug at the corner of your lips as you slowly turn to face her again. 

You're still into her, and she's falling even deeper at the realization. Maybe she didn't lose you after all. 

She takes calculated steps towards you and breathes a sigh of relief when you stay put, not showing any signs of running. The wheels in your head are going into overdrive now, turning and churning as you process her little recital, and she prays with all of her heart that you won't be upset once you put two and two together. 

"How did you…"

"You dropped it one day, and I picked it up. I meant to give it back to you, but I guess I just never got around to it." She feels a little guilty for keeping it as long as she has, but it's served as a way of keeping you close during your time apart. Those bits and pieces of you, scattered around on that page, encapsulated by the annotations and doodles you so kindly left behind, have stayed in her heart. Ever since she discovered it all that time ago, it's never been very far from her; she cherishes it more than you'll ever know. 

"You didn't show it to anyone, right?" Your voice is laced with worry, lowered a bit to keep others from overhearing. 

"No, no! Of course not. I just… kept it for myself. You're really talented; I couldn't stop reading your stuff." 

"Thank, I guess?" You awkwardly chuckle, still a bit rusty on how to interact with her after everything. Plus, to be fair, having your crush read one of the love letters you wrote about her is a bit unheard of. Newfound territory, you think to yourself.

"How long?" You ask after a minute of silence, only realizing how loaded your question is after it slips past your lips, turning into a puff of steam in the chilly atmosphere. "How long have you… felt that way about me?" You quickly add, "Assuming that you feel what the poem says, of course." 

An amused smile tweaks her lips at how cute you are. "I do, Y/N. I always have; ever since that afternoon at the daycare." 

"Really?" The question is quiet, full of childlike disbelief. 

"Really. It was always you." She says it freely now: unafraid.

The sentiment is sweet, but memories of the football game come flooding back and you're reminded that as much as you want to skip this next part, you still have things to discuss. 

"What about Jeong?" 

"What about him?"

"Did you ever like him?"

"No. The girls thought so, but it was just a misunderstanding. That's why Lisa introduced us at the game; she thought I had a crush on him, but I told her that you were always the one I was looking at. I told all of the girls that, after that night." 

Her confession renders you speechless -- only capable of listening and nodding every now and then. She takes advantage of your silence to finally explain herself and tell you everything she's been dying to. 

"I didn't know you felt the same until our talk in the parking lot. I mean, I was hopeful after some of the moments we had, but I didn't know for sure until then. I wanted to beg you to stay and hear me out, but you left before I had the chance."

You blink a few times as the reality of her words begin to sink in. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well…" she trails off, unsure of what to say next. She's forgiven you for walking away, knowing you were just hurt, but the whole situation still left a bad taste in her mouth. So much pain could've been avoided for the both of you if you had just listened.

"How did they take it?"

"They yelled at me for waiting so long to tell them, but then they tried to help me get you back. Remember those student council booths?" She leans in a little closer to ask that last line, her lips pulling to the side in that iconic smirk of hers. 

You audibly gasp and point at her animatedly. "I knew that was you!"

"Mhm, pulled some fancy-sounding excuse out of my ass to convince the board, and boom; 20 brand new tables set up the next day. I still can't believe you managed to slip past them, though. I mean, c'mon, have you seen how talkative those kids can be?" 

"Trust me, it wasn't easy," you laugh with her. "I had to sneak to the back entrances like a drug dealer." 

"I can totally see that." 

"I'm dedicated, what can I say?" The stupid hair flip you do makes her laugh even harder, clutching her stomach as those beautiful sounds slip past her lips. 

As your shared laughter eventually turns into soft chuckles, she smiles at you, saying, "I really missed this. I missed you, so so much." 

"I've been a wreck without you, Jisoo. It's honestly embarrassing." 

She looks at you with something new shining in her eyes, and she carefully contemplates what she's about to admit. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course." 

"I rarely cry, Y/N, but I did over you. So you have no reason to be embarrassed. It seems like both of us were pretty bad off." She looks down after saying that, scuffing her foot against the concrete of the sidewalk. Being vulnerable isn't usually easy for her, and she never really lets people see that side of her -- not even the girls. She feels like she has to stay strong for them to keep things running smoothly, but she fails to realize how important her own feelings are. You're different, though; she feels like her entire collection of secrets would be safe with you, and you make her feel secure enough to be open like that. 

When she feels you step closer and hook two fingers underneath her chin, her eyes dart up to yours and her heart speeds up. Your other arm hesitantly wraps around her waist, giving her plenty of time to step away and deny you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she couldn't possibly want someone like you that you're genuinely surprised when she steps further into your embrace, pulling your arm tighter around herself. 

Her right arm comes to rest loosely on your shoulder as her other hand caresses your forearm, rubbing various patterns against your smooth skin. "I tried so hard to get you to pick up on my flirting," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as she holds you close. "Every touch," she runs a finger down your arm, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. "Every look," she moves her hand from your neck to your cheek, cupping it sweetly as she gazes into your eyes. She strokes your skin with the pad of her thumb, smiling beautifully when she feels you nuzzle into her hold even more. 

"And that kiss…" she says, sounding breathless at the mere thought of it. "I wanted it to last forever." 

"Why didn't you tell me that, then?" You ask, not even a trace of anger in your tone. You're determined to let go of all the hurt and fear that your misunderstandings have caused, opting instead to finally get the answers you've wanted for so long. "After I came back from putting Aera to bed you were just… different. And then when you said it was just a part of the script--"

"I know. I was afraid that if I let myself have you like that -- if I let you in all the way -- there'd be no going back." When she sees the confusion building in your eyes, she continues on. "I don't usually let myself get distracted; I can't afford it. You know how seriously I take my studies." You nod, recalling the numerous times you've found her in the library until it closed, studying hard for the exams everyone knew she'd ace. "But you wiggled your way past every line of defense I ever put up. You became my favorite distraction." A dopey grin tugs at your lips at receiving that title, and you subconsciously hold your head a little higher.

"But I wasn't prepared for that. You make me feel things that I've never felt before, and I really didn't think I could afford to let myself have you. Not fully, anyway. I could deal with a crush; I told myself I could keep you close enough that I wouldn't miss you, but far enough that I could keep myself protected."

"What changed?" You ask, smoothing your hands over the small of her back, feeling the heat radiate from her skin. They've worked their way under the hem of her shirt during your conversation, subconsciously seeking to share her warmth, and Jisoo has been acutely aware of it the entire time. 

"When I saw you walk away like that I didn't know what to do with myself. I've had people leave before, so it's not a new thing; but I never missed them like I've missed you."

A bittersweet, melancholic look settles on your face at that; she deserves every good thing that the world has to offer, so knowing that you played a part in her sadness -- whether it be direct or indirect -- disheartens you a bit. 

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." She says, leaning her forehead against yours. 

"And I'm not going anywhere," you affirm, holding her even closer than before. She brushes her nose against yours with a quiet sigh, relieved to be in your arms, caught safely in your warm embrace. If falling feels like this, she's more than okay with it. 

"Can I?" You ask, glancing down to the heart shaped pillows you've dreamt of having against yours again. 

She nods, uttering a soft, "Please", as she tilts her head to the side in expectancy. You close the remaining distance, bending your knees slightly to tighten your hold on her waist and pull her flush up against yourself. Both of her arms wrap around your neck now, occasionally coming down to tilt your head and allow her better access, or run her fingers through your hair. It's sensual and meaningful, but an air of urgency hangs in the air, thickening it the longer her lips are on you. Both of you are making up for lost time, so it's no wonder you're so eager. 

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth as she backs you up, pressing you against the brick wall that you had migrated a few steps away from during your conversation. If she were kissing anyone else, perhaps she'd care about the strangers staring, or what they might say; but as she stands here, feeling your hands explore her body in the ways that she's dreamed of and your lips kiss her senseless, that's the furthest thought from her mind. Her hands grab at the collar of your shirt, balling the material up in her palms as she pushes her lips against yours from a new angle. 

When you eventually pull back for air, you can't help but say the phrase that's been sitting on your mind for weeks. "I love you." 

Her heart speeds up to match yours, both of them racing as you look at each other with giant smiles on your faces. "I love you, too. If you hadn't already guessed that," she chuckles, leaning up to kiss you again. This one's more innocent, though -- full of giddiness as you replay each other's declaration in your minds. 

"Y/N L/N IF YOU AREN'T OUT HERE--"

Yuqi bellows loudly, blasting through the side door and out into the chilly night air. The metal smacks against the wall from the force she exerted, and you physically cringe at the sound. Jisoo does the same, quickly pulling away to find out what's going on. 

When Yuqi's line of sight settles on the two of you, her eyebrows raise and a smirk lands on her lips. "Well, well, well. Looks like my work here is done," she says, cocking her head to the side self-assuredly when she sees how swollen both of your lips are and how mussed your clothing is. You send her a look that she registers as "Get lost", and she retreats back into the performance hall with her hands raised in surrender.

"Idiot," you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you watch the door close behind her, its poor hinges still recovering from her assault. Jisoo's giggle makes you turn back to her, finding a breathtaking smile forming on her lips. "You're so cute," she coos, poking your cheek, "especially when you blush like that." 

You fight the bashfulness that attempts to take over, managing to cock a brow at her and say, "Hey, watch it -- I might not be so kind in my next poem if you don't stop teasing me." 

"Aww, don't be like that, baby." 

She tenses up after realizing she let that pet name slip out at the end, but your smile only widens. 

"Say that again."

"Baby," she drawls in her signature sultry tone, stepping closer to you again. 

"Mmm, I could get used to that." You hum against her lips, pressing yours to them at the end of your statement. 

"Good, because there's more where that came from." 

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," she settles into your arms again, looking into your eyes with so much love you nearly swoon. "This is only the beginning for us." 

Never Really Over

Pairing: Model!Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 21,684

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Smut, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hi, everyone. I really hope you enjoy this fic 💜 It took me a long time to finish it and it might be a little messy in some places, but I hope it's worth the wait. Happy reading 🌹

♤《◇》♤《◇》♤《◇》♤《◇》♤《◇》♤《◇》♤《◇》

It's cold, when your journey begins. 

Chilly, early December air nips at your cheeks before swirling down to raise the ends of your trench coat as you march your way down 5th Avenue. 

Crunch, crunch, crunch

Each hit of your boots against the sidewalk is precise, final. Something about them resembles a warning sign, though you can't quite explain it. 

Perhaps it's the rhythmic scrape that accompanies each footfall, made by the rock that worked its way into one of the rubber grooves earlier.

Yeah, you think to yourself. That's it. 

Bright, shimmering lights of the city around you all vie for any attention they can get, and you watch as couples and tourists alike all flock to the usual spots. Some eagerly dart into the bakeries that your town's known for, while others step up to vibrant kiosks on the street corners to buy overpriced trinkets and knick knacks. 

A feeling of nostalgia settles deep in your bones as you pry your eyes away and pull your jacket tighter around yourself, both in search of its warmth and the comfort that it provides. 

It's a sanctuary, more or less. From the jealousy you feel upon witnessing their happiness. 

From the cold shoulder of loneliness.

The worn-in seams welcome you without judgment, and the small stitching on the inside of your right sleeve gives you something you can't live without. 

K.J., it reads. 

You always used to tell her how much you missed her when she was away, so she had her initials put in the familiar material just for you. She gave you the coat on your birthday so you could always have a piece of her with you, and you'd never been happier than you were that day.

But now, over 2 years later, that's about the only thing you have left of her. 

The ache in your chest, too, of course, but you can only really blame yourself for that.

Pockets of conversation fill the evening air around you as you pass by different crowds, still set on your way towards the restaurant that you ordered some food from. The delivery fee was far too much for such a short distance, and so you decided to just trek the few blocks there and grab it. 

A quiet buzz from the neon lights above you can be heard as you turn the corner, each step bringing you even closer to your destination, and a small smile works its way onto your face. Bittersweet, though it still shines in its own way. 

La Belle, reads the sign that you know all too well. Its oval surface is rimmed with a dark shade of brown, slightly chipped from the elements, while the middle is a pristine oak color -- untouched. 

A tiny bell dings as you open the door and walk inside, glancing around the lowkey space. The lights are dimmed as people converse with one another, some flirting over the rims of their martinis while others talk business. A family is seated next to the window as well, seemingly celebrating a birthday of one of the children. 

I'm 6! is displayed across a party hat in fun letters, sitting atop the head of the smallest at the table. Her sweet grin widens when she sees you, briefly locking eyes with a subtle wave, and the heavy feeling looming over you lifts, if only a little. 

"Welcome to La Belle," a pleasant voice introduces, pulling you from your thoughts. You turn to the left, greeted by a blonde woman who's waiting behind the hostess stand. 

"How may I help you?" She asks, voice rich with a southern drawl. 

"I'm here for a pick-up order. Y/N," you tell her, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jeans. 

She pushes a few buttons on the tablet that sits in front of her, efficiently checking on the status of your food. "It looks like we'll have it ready in about 5 minutes. If you'd like, you can take a seat over there and we'll bring it right out." 

She points to a line of chairs behind you, maybe 4 or 5 red-cushioned seats, and you nod. 

"Thank you." 

"Of course, Miss." 

You make your way over and sit down, leaning back as you survey the place some more. Posters and picture frames adorn the walls, mix-matched in their contents and yet never coming across as tacky or out of place. Everything looks as if it's meant to be exactly where it is. 

One painting in particular stands apart from all the rest, though: the centerpiece of the restaurant, displayed in the middle of the dining room's back wall. It stretches out quite a ways, almost as more of a mural than a regular painting, and pictures two lovers. 

One is more androgynous in their appearance, clad in a tunic and cloak as their shoulder length hair falls in soft waves. The other, feminine in every way, dons a floral dress that stops just above her ankles. 

Standing beneath the partially enclosed space of a beautiful veranda, their meeting place is secretive -- a quiet escape for the both of them. Their arms are outstretched towards one another as they rush to meet in the center of the room; you've always loved how the artist captured their movements perfectly. 

The woman's dress ruffles as she hurries towards her lover, likely having been separated for some time, and the cloak that the other wears ripples with movement. 

Their fingertips lightly brush against each other, but just barely; they haven't yet reached one another. Smiles adorn their faces, vibrant and contagious the longer you look; just at the sight of one another, they're smitten once more. 

And you can see it. 

You can see the eagerness that lies behind their eyes as they peer at one another, having missed the simple pleasure beyond words. An urgency fuels their movements -- draws them to one another. The longing they feel is tangible, and now you feel it, too. 

You try to reason that it's just because of the artist's talent, but you know you're kidding yourself. 

It's obvious, really, why you're feeling this way now. For when Jisoo was sat beside you at one of those linen-topped tables in this very dining room all that time ago, admiring the work displayed, you never really understood the piece. 

She was yours then, and you never had to miss her like the lovers pictured there do.

The intention and passion was all there -- all grasped by you -- but you failed to notice the way their muscles strained beneath their clothes, peeking out of the areas that their garments exposed. You failed to realize then why they were so determined to be reunited. 

But now, sitting here in the lobby of a place you once loved being, you've never felt more alone. You've never understood their reasoning more.

Your back presses against the cool metal bars of the chair, and for a moment, you try to remember what it felt like to sit at your regular table here. 

Number 4, you recall. 

It was Jisoo's favorite, and ever since you brought her here for your first date, it had been yours. The owners knew you, and their faces always seemed to light up when you walked in the building, hand in hand. They'd shout their greetings if the lobby was loud, or come out to say hello if it was a quiet night. 

Jisoo had decided early on to work her way through the menu, trying a new dish every time you came, but you were never that adventurous. You'd try the bites she offered you, of course, and they were delicious, but you tended to stick with one of your usual meals. Your enjoyment came from seeing her happy and well-fed anyway, so you were never really missing out. 

Back in present-time, you find yourself smiling despite the ache in your chest -- that incessant, double-edged sword of a feeling you get anytime she pops into your mind. It's a curse to have been so close to her once, because now her absence is even more painful. The quirks and particulars that you spent years molding your life around are gone now, taken with her the moment she left. 

Sometimes you even still place your bag on the second rung of the hanger back home, absentmindedly leaving the first space open for her out of habit. 

It's little things like that that serve as a reminder of how she truly took a piece of you with her when you parted,  moving on to bigger and better things than you could ever offer her. You can't blame her, though, seeing as how you pushed her away.

It was bound to happen eventually, you attempt to cope. You've spent the past two years telling yourself that anyway, and you don't plan to stop now. 

"Order for Y/N!" 

Right, you think. Enough moping.

You stand and readjust your clothes, knowing your hands will be too full to do it later. A fake smile lands on your face out of instinct, and you hold it as best you can as you approach the hostess stand. 

"Here you go," the blonde from before says, handing you the bags. You take them gingerly, not wanting anything to spill. 

"Thank you very much," you bow lightly. "Have a wonderful evening." 

She reciprocates the kind words before you turn to leave, and you keep the cheery facade up until you reach the front door. As you press a shoulder into the metal bar and open it, you allow the corners of your lips to fall again, back to where they usually rest. 

A blast of cold air greets you, and you welcome the brisk sting in full. Oddly enough, it feels nice. 

---

Crunch, crunch, crunch

Back on your path home, you let your body take over. Your muscles remember the way perfectly, and your mind has found a better way to occupy itself. 

Namely, with thoughts of the impending holiday that lurks just around the corner. Decorations are already up, strung about the lampposts and displayed in store fronts throughout the streets, but you have a hard time feeling all that joyful. 

Your closest friends have plans to come over and spend the weekend before Christmas with you (and you're definitely looking forward to it), but even still, something feels out of place around this time of year. 

You've busied yourself with planning and putting things on layaway early to keep from getting too overwhelmed later, and it's proven successful thus far. A mental image of the remote control car you're getting for your young cousin is conjured up, and you smile as you turn down another block -- after this, you have just one left until you're home. 

The cute giggle that he'll surely let out warms your heart, and you replay the noise that you've committed to memory back in your mind.

Apparently you were too caught up in your own little world to notice the couple headed straight for you. Their attention was elsewhere, too, so it was inevitable for the run-in to happen. 

The strong shoulder of a well-built man knocks into yours, sending one of the bags in your hands to the ground and making you stumble. A feminine gasp can be heard from above, followed by the man apologizing as he reaches down to help you. 

"Shit, I'm sorry," he says sincerely, picking up one of the busted take-out boxes and handing it to you. You look up and find a regretful expression on his face. 

"Don't worry about it," you reply, though you're annoyed at the inconvenience. Who knows how much of your food will be salvageable now?

You continue to grab the boxes and put them back in the bag as quickly as possible so as to not let them lose even more heat. Just as you finish up and go to stand, you hear something you never would've expected. 

"Here, let me give you some cash to replace the meal. We're really sorry." 

You freeze in place and suck in a breath at the sound of that familiar voice. 

Why is she here?

Turning your head, you're greeted by none other than Jisoo, who's digging in her purse for some money. She hasn't noticed you yet, and you can't decide if you want to run away before she can or stay right where you are until she does. 

It's a tough decision, but ultimately it's made for you when she raises her head to address you.

"Here you go--"

Oh shit.

Her jaw goes slightly slack as her eyes dart across your features, searching for proof that you're actually you. You look just like she remembers, albeit a bit more worn and jaded, but still… you.

Neither of you know what to say next. You're shocked into immobilization with little else to do but stare at one another. 

She regards you slowly, allowing her eyes to track up and over the curves of your body just as they had a million times in the past. She studies you -- looking for things that have changed in her absence. 

And you, lacking any foresight or care as to how it'll affect your heart, do the same. 

You admire how good she looks, though it hurts to see her so happy and lively. She's dressed to the nines in a plaid dress that reaches its way to her knees, keeping her body heat stored in its knitted material. She sports a long overcoat, too, and your worries are eased.

She could freeze out here, after all. 

Her chest tightens at the sight of you in her coat, though you'd never know it by the look of her. Her expression remains stoic, and you bite the inside of your cheek at the selfish desire that crosses your mind: you want her to be upset. 

Indifference is something you hadn't prepared yourself for. 

But what confuses you more, is that her eyes have seemed to lose a little vibrance as well. They're missing some refined quality that they had when she was yours, but you don't allow yourself to dwell on it too long.

When the man beside her shifts, likely confused at the moment you're sharing, she blinks a few times as if to bring herself back to her senses.

You clear your throat. "That's not necessary," you shake your head and point at the money in her hand. "It was an accident." 

She takes a hint of a step closer, and your chest tightens. Merely two minutes with her in your vicinity again and you're losing what progress you've made over the years. 

"Please, it's the least we can do." She presses her lips together, unknowingly drawing your attention to them. Her fingers beg to reach out and touch you.

You fake another smile and glance at her boyfriend before returning your gaze to her. "Truly, it's fine. Enjoy your night." 

You take a deep breath of the evening air and hold it in your lungs as you turn away, willing yourself to press on. If you look back and see her watching you go, you'll be tempted to run back to her and do something reckless.

She's moved on, Y/N. Let it go. 

That's the mantra you repeat to yourself until you've made it back to your apartment, but once you've crossed the threshold and sat your things down, the tears come falling. You sit at your table and cry. 

For all the mistakes you made in the past. 

For all the ones you continue to make. 

Her mere presence -- a fleeting moment in time that won't matter to her by morning -- is enough to shake up your world yet again. 

Seeing her with him was arguably worse than not seeing her at all. 

For you've created a barrier of sorts, over the years. You've hardened your heart at every mention of her -- every accidental slip of her name from one of your friends or family members -- and blocked out as many memories as you can. 

But that's the thing with her, you see. 

She's an enigma, and with every part of you that tries to forget her, there's an equal and opposite part that will always welcome her back in in any way possible. 

Tonight, it seems to be her eyes. Oh, how they haunt you. 

------

Jisoo

A soft chuckle draws her from the stupor that you put her in yet again, and she quietly curses to herself.

It comes from beside her, and it's accompanied by a puff of breath that turns white in the increasingly frigid atmosphere. 

"I take it that you know her?" 

She swallows, setting her jaw. "Yeah, I do." 

The man falls in step with her as they continue their walk, but Jisoo's mind is elsewhere. She nods and hums along in mock responses to him, but they're simply her body's doing. She's too busy wondering what you've been up to. 

You looked better than she had anticipated, though she never expected to run into you again; she's heard that you tend to keep to yourself nowadays. 

So, as one could guess, when she laid eyes on you again for the first time in two years, it quite literally sent her reeling. She wanted to reach out and touch you, just to prove that you weren't a figment of her imagination, or even just to talk to you. 

There are so many things she wants to say. 

But something tells her that that opportunity won't come. She sensed it in the way you retreated back into yourself before leaving earlier -- in how you closed another door by walking away. She shouldn't have wanted you to stay -- especially considering everything that's happened -- but she can't deny that she did. 

You have more of a hold on her than she previously realized, and feelings are flooding back in more ways than she appreciates. 

She thought she had it all figured out. That when you ended things and left, she picked herself up and moved on for good. Her friends worked hard to pull her out of that place and get her going again, but now it appears to have all been shoddily done. 

Their attempts to rebuild her self-restraint have nearly failed, and now all she wants to do is chase you and get the answers that she so rightly deserves. 

But, she knows she can't. She knows she has to live the life that she's built for herself without you, and not the one her heart truly wants. 

Because no matter where the two of you stand, for her, it'll always be you. 

-------

3 Days Later

To say you've been a wreck is the understatement of the century. 

The weekend passed by in a blur of tears and comfort food, and now you're sat back at your desk, tiredly typing away at your company-provided computer like nothing happened. Your coworkers can tell that something definitely happened, but none of them dare approach you and ask. 

For once, you find yourself thanking the universe for its lack of empathetic people. 

The keys are quick to spring back against your fingertips as you work through numerous reports given to you, and you occasionally sign off on the chart that rests on the table in front of you, documenting each paper finished. This monotonous cycle continues until you get a call from one of your friends and decide it's time for a break. 

Nini 🐻🥟 is displayed at the top of your screen, and you smile to yourself as you stand from your desk and answer it. 

"There she is," she chirps, sounding happy that you picked up. You may or may not have spent the past 72 hours ghosting people in order to grovel and wallow in self pity. 

Definitely not your finest hour, but who's judging?

"How's my favorite girl doing?" She asks.

You decide to cut to the chase; she'll get the info out of you at some point, so you'd rather just get it over with now and spare yourself from the back and forth. 

"Well, between work and seeing my ex again, not the greatest." You chuckle, despite the lack of humor in your words. 

It's a habit you use to comfort yourself, and Jennie knows it. 

"When did you see her?" 

She already knows who the ex in question is, too, because you've yet to date anyone since Jisoo, and she's left the greatest impact. Jennie can't say that she'd expect you to be this upset over anyone else you've been with, no offense to them.

"Friday. Her new boyfriend bumped into me and made me drop my takeout; can you believe it?"

"Ouch," she sighs, feigning hurt. "Brutal." 

You click your tongue. "I know, I know. Woe is me, and all that." 

She laughs, and you do too. 

"What's she doing back in town?" She muses. 

"Hell if I know," you shrug, grabbing a donut from the break room as you head for the elevator. You intend to spend your few minutes of freedom outside.

"They looked like they were out sightseeing, though. Maybe grabbing some dinner or something, from how nice they were dressed." 

"You think she came all the way back here for that?"

"You never know," you say, swallowing a sweet mouthful of the pastry.

"Maybe it's for work," she suggests. 

"An elite model like her back in a mediocre place like this?" You ask, holding back a laugh. "What, is she gonna pose outside the McDonald's on Main Street?" 

She giggles at that. "Alright, fair enough. I'm just trying to figure it out!" 

"I appreciate the concern, Nini, but I've decided to block her out of my thoughts. Starting… now."

"And knowing you, that'll last until….," she pauses, going silent. "...now." She plays, using your words against you. 

Your mouth hangs open, and though she can't see it, she can picture it clearly. She laughs loudly through the phone. "I don't know who paid you to clown on me, but you're doing a great job. Send my kudos to them." 

"Such a baby," she groans. 

Another chuckle slips past your lips before you decide to move on. 

"How've you been, Miss Kim? Get into any trouble lately?" 

"Stressed as usual, but no trouble. The girls planned a secret getaway for all of us, though. You can thank Rosie for the slip up." 

You smile, reminded of how notorious the Australian is for spoiling things on accident. 

"That's actually one of the reasons I called," Jennie concludes. 

"To brag?"

"No, babo; to invite you." 

You sit on one of the benches in the square outside, right next to a perfectly trimmed hedge. "When are you set to leave?" 

"Wednesday night. And don't even try to tell me that you don't have time saved up to take off work," she warns. "You've been working longer hours and picking up extra shifts left and right." 

You purse your lips. "You've got me there." 

"So will you come? I think it would be good for you to get away for a little while." 

You inwardly sigh, contemplating her offer. Running away from your problems and spending the next few days with your friends sounds perfect, but you don't want to ruin their time off. 

"I wouldn't want to bring you all down, Jennie." 

"The only way that'll happen is if you send us there without you. We miss you, Y/N/N." She admits.

Ah, hell. What've you got to lose?

With a deep breath, you tell her exactly what she wants to hear. "Alright, I'll go."

In preparation for the impending attack on your ear drums, you hold the phone away from your ear. 

"YAAAAY!" She squeals, the noise still very audible even from a distance. 

It draws a chuckle from you nonetheless. "I'll see you Wednesday, Jen. Love you." 

"I can't wait. Love you more!" She sing-songs, before eventually hanging up to call Lisa and Rosé and give them the good news. Being included in their plans warms your heart, and seeing Jennie want you there so bad makes you feel like you belong. 

Aren't they the greatest?

You find a genuine smile pulling across your features as you take another bite of your snack and look out across the city, wondering where the secret location will be.

One fact cuts through your pondering though, reigning supreme: no matter how this trip plays out, you're in for a wild ride.

That's for sure.

----

Wednesday, 6:53 -- Jennie's Apartment 

"Y/N!"

In a matter of 3 seconds, you say your last words and make peace with your imminent demise. 

Your three best friends race towards the front door, where you're stood in a cozy sweater and joggers. The perfect travel outfit.

They engulf you in a hug, nearly knocking you over from the sheer force of their love.

"You're alive!" Lisa shouts. 

"We've missed you so much!" Rosie follows.

You eventually pull away before they can smother you -- though, to be fair, if you had to choose a way to leave this world that would definitely be high on the list -- and you grin at them. Rosie smooths your mussed hair as Lisa fights the urge to pinch your cheeks, as she always does. 

Before long, she gives in. 

"We're so glad you're here." Jennie puts her hand on your shoulder, smiling her gummy smile at you.

"Thanks for inviting me," you say. Your words are slightly altered from Lisa's movements, and so you bat her hands away. 

She chuckles like a misbehaving kid. 

"Are you guys ready to go?" You ask, peering past them and into the living room. Their suitcases are nowhere to be found. 

"Mhm," Rosie nods. "The car's already loaded up. We've just gotta put your stuff in and then we're ready." 

You nod, clasping your hands together. Despite everything, you'd be lying to say you aren't excited to see where they're planning to take you. They always seem to pick the best places.

After a last sweep of the house to ensure that nothing important is left behind, the four of you head out to the car. Lisa has her arms around you, cuddling in close when a chilly breeze rolls in, and you rub her back to offer some additional warmth. 

She smiles appreciatively against your shoulder. 

"So," you start, once you're all inside the car. "Where are we going?" 

"That's for us to know and you to find out," Jennie quips as she reaches to her side for the seatbelt. 

"But--"

"Ah, ah, ah, just go with it. We promise that you'll love it." Rosie says, nodding reassuringly. Upon seeing the confident grin on her face, you relent. 

"Fine," you grumble, sulking. "But I'm not putting on a blin--"

A sleek piece of fabric falls against your hand, cutting you off. 

"...blindfold." You finish, pulling a face. 

"Just this once," Jennie attempts to bargain, smiling sweetly at you. She puts her hands underneath her chin and bats her eyelashes, making you laugh. 

With a dramatic sigh, you agree. The girls cheer loudly together, and you turn in your chair slightly so one of them can tie it in the back. 

Shaking your head at their antics, you still can't help but laugh. They let out another victory shout before Jennie pulls out of her driveway and the four of you get started on your journey. 

-----

Three Hours Later

The tires of Jennie's car crunch as they pass over the salted roads that lead you closer to your destination. Some pieces work their way into the treads and grooves, serving as a reminder of where you've been. 

You crest another hill, and then it's in view. At least for the rest of the girls it is.

An icy range of snow capped mountains serves as a perfect backdrop against the evening sky, sloping down in streaks of white and blue towards the sizable village below. Lamp posts and houses alike offer up their golden light, illuminating the area around them and creating a cozy aura. 

In one fluid motion, Rosie reaches forward to untie the fabric and take it off of you. She wants you to experience this place's beauty for yourself.

"Wow," you sigh, pressing closer to the car's window. Your gentle breaths fog the surface, but you're too intrigued by the sight before you to notice. More trees line the sides of the road as you make your partially spiraled descent down the hill, at times blocking out the sky above you with their thick branches and leaves. Their canopies are dark and brooding, yet they bring a sense of safety and comfort along with them.

This place is as mysterious as it is alluring. 

♡《》♡《》♡

In varying degrees of haste, the four doors of Jennie's car are opened by each of you. 

Lisa, just waking up from a nap, shakes the numbness from her arm and rubs her sleepy eyes as she steps out. Her breath becomes a puff of white air as she admires the building before you.

Rosie, full of energy from the five snacks that she had along the way, practically leaps from the car. She jumps a little as she gapes at the resort, knocking into Jennie in her excited state. The brunette just smiles at her, happy that she's happy. 

And then there's you. You step out curiously, taking in your surroundings. A winter resort isn't exactly what you expected for the girls to choose, but then again you never really know what to expect from them. They always keep you on your toes. 

As you gaze up at the golden lamps strung up across the entrance, you're suddenly pelted with something cold. A mischievous smile graces Lisa's face, and you glance down at your body, finding a ring of residual snow on the material of your sweater. The area of impact is right at the center of your stomach. 

Your eyes narrow at her, half comical and half serious. "It's on." 

In a flash, the four of you are reaching wildly for nearby snow and packing it into weapons of destruction. The next blow is dealt by Rosé, who fires off a spiraling and lopsided snowball at Jennie. It hits her in the shoulder, but she's quick to retaliate. Rosie's subsequent squeal pierces the air, and you laugh. 

The moment doesn't last long, though. Lisa's ears perk up at the sound, and in a move that decides teams, she launches another chilly snowball at you to defend Rosie's honor. 

"Y/N, look out!" Jennie bellows, running towards you. Her boots slide across the ice, but she makes it to you in time to push you out of the line of fire. Instead of hitting you, the snowball hits her chest, right over her heart.

"No!" You cry out, catching her as she falls. You sink to the ground with her dramatically, wiping the hair from her face and telling her to hold on. 

"Y/N, I'm not gonna make it," she coughs, gripping your shoulder. 

"No, Jen, don't give up. Don't go towards the light." You pull her closer, holding her body next to yours. 

"Avenge me," she whispers, shakily holding another snowball up to you before rolling over. 

You take it from her and set her down, now glaring at the other two. "This is for Jennie!" You shout like a battle cry as you rise, hitting Rosie in the leg with the snowball before tackling Lisa into a soft pile of snow next to one of the bushes. She groans, and you waste no time in gathering handfuls of the powdery substance and sprinkling it all over her head. 

"Ah!" She shrieks, feeling the coldness seep in all over. 

"Hands off!" Comes Rosé's voice, as she grabs you and tumbles to the side. She holds you down, pressing you into the snow to keep you from getting up. 

Lisa stands to tower over you, looking victorious. She casually compresses another handful of snow together, oblivious to what's happening behind her as she takes her sweet time. 

"You thought you could defeat the Chaelisa?" She tuts at you, in typical villain fashion. "Not possible, Y/N/N. We're the--"

"Ahhh!" 

Before your very eyes, a magically resurrected Jennie fires off a flurry of tiny ice balls, making Lisa jump and dance around with each prick of them against her skin. 

"Ow, ow, OW!" She returns, spinning around to face her attacker. Now, you have an opening. 

"Sorry Rosie," you apologize, before releasing a frigid handful of snow down the front of her shirt. A shrill scream sounds off as she rolls away, and you leap up and disarm Lisa. You wrestle the snowball away from her before ultimately managing to restrain her. Jennie emerges from her cover behind one of the pillars to do the honors. 

"You were wrong, Lisa. Y/Ship/N (Your Ship Name w/ Jennie) will always win!" 

Following one last, icy blow to the stomach, Lisa sinks to her knees in defeat. You wrap your arms around Jennie victoriously and spin her around, laughing happily. 

---

30 Minutes Later -- Room 417

Following your epic battle on the front lawn of the resort, you were welcomed with warm smiles and salutes from the staff. They got you checked in with no issue and gave you instructions on how to reach the room that the girls booked. 

Now safe and sound inside of it, you're flicking through the channels of the flatscreen TV in search of something you can all agree on. Below it is a large fireplace, where Jennie is preparing a sizable fire for you. Lisa tried first, but now she's at the kitchen island lamenting about her half-singed eyebrow. 

Rosé's preparing some popcorn and drinks for you and doing all she can to contain her laughter at the younger girl. 

You eventually land on a movie that you've all been meaning to watch, and your ragtag group gathers together on the large, plush couch. Rosé fans out a fluffy blanket that she found in one of the closets, spreading it over all of you as you settle in and cuddle close. 

"What do you guys want to do tomorrow?" Jennie asks, once a commercial break begins and as she brings a few pieces of popcorn to her lips. 

A pouting Lisa perks up a bit at this. "I wanna sled." 

"Maybe we could check out some of the stores in the village. I heard a lot of people talking about them in the lobby," Rosie suggests. 

Jennie nods, thinking. "What about you, Y/N?" 

"I've always wanted to try skiing," you grin. 

"Sounds like we've got a long day ahead of us, then," she notes, smiling back at all of you. "I'm excited." 

"Me too," you say, squeezing her hand beneath the blanket. She lays her head on your shoulder as the movie comes back on, and you stretch an arm out to lay across Rosie and Lisa, giving them affection as well. This little trip is already proving therapeutic; you're really glad you came. 

[**☆**]

11:16 PM

Clearly, the drive up took a toll on the girls. Quiet snoring surrounds you on both sides -- they didn't even make it through the whole movie without passing out. Lisa had been the last one awake, fighting sleep in order to talk to you and comment on what poor choices the characters were making, but she too fell victim to slumber's sweet embrace. 

With a soft smile, you stand up from the couch and put a pillow down where you had been; carefully, you cover the girls up again. Jennie mumbles something in her sleep, pulling the pillow closer to her, and Rosie stretches a leg across Lisa as she repositions herself. 

They look so precious in the moment that you just admire them for a minute, thanking the universe for such wonderful friends. Once you're done being sappy, though, you pick your phone up from the coffee table and snap a picture of them so that you can embarrass them later. The drool on Rosie's lip really adds to it; you're sure she'll be complaining about that for the next century. 

The sight of them reminds you of your own lack of drowsiness, though, and you sigh, rubbing the back of your neck. It's only reasonable that you should be exhausted, but you just can't seem to wind down. Something's keeping you from it, and you know it'll be ages until you fall asleep. So, instead of waiting around, you write up a note for the girls, telling them that you're heading downstairs to look around a bit. 

You hope a walk will quiet your mind and make you drowsy enough to get some decent rest tonight. 

--

Main Lobby

Despite what time it is, the lobby is still relatively active. Families file in with carts of luggage in tow, hauled by bellhops with concerned looks on their faces. A few couples stroll about, cheeks flushed and noses red from more than just the cold that they braved to get in.

It's all comforting, in some strange way, but entirely nostalgic all the same. For every smile the sights inspire, an equal pang of jealousy flutters in your heart. You hate that, but it's the bitter truth. 

The foyer -- which you cross in favor of getting something to drink from the sleek bar that gleams to you from the far wall -- is decorated wonderfully. Holiday lights are strung across the space, just like they are in the rest of the village. It's like this time of year is all that this place knows; it's stuck here in time, only ever repeating the months of December to February. But it's beautiful nonetheless, and you're determined to enjoy it while you're here. 

A suave bartender takes your order courteously, and you earn yourself a flash of her white smile when you give it. 

"One hot cocoa, please," you said. She wasn't expecting that from you, given that you're over the age of 10 and at a bar this late at night, but it was a pleasant surprise. 

She returned one steaming cup of it to you as soon as it was done, and you slid the dollar bill that you had been toying with across the bar to her in reply. A simple nod from you was all she needed, and she took the money with another grin before heading towards another customer. 

-

Small, delicate snowflakes coat the clothes of stray guests that filter in through the side door, all mumbling about either how pretty the place is or how close to hypothermia they've teetered. 

There really are two kinds of people in this world.

Their laughter fills the halls as you squeeze past them, clutching your drink close to your chest in a way of bracing for the cold that you're about to encounter. It staves off the initial gust as you press into the door, opening it with your hip and shoulder. 

A large, crackling campfire resides in the middle of the open space, serving as a beacon. Its flames reach up into the sky, flickering and dancing as people converse around it. Deep-set oak chairs and couches alike all form a circle around it, far enough away to keep from getting too hot but close enough to stay plenty warm. 

A layer of snow coats the ground, left altered by the imprints of your shoes as you shuffle towards one of the open chairs. It's chilly, and you unconsciously suck in a breath as your body sinks down into it; the warmth that you're radiating leaves you faster now in an attempt to lend itself to the frigid surface. But thankfully, just as quickly as it seeps from the thick material of your joggers, it's replenished by the cozy fire. 

You stay there for the next little while, not necessarily keeping track of the time. You judge its passage by how long it takes you to finish your drink and how long it takes the cold to spread from the ends of your fingertips to the rest of your hands.

The night sky is full of stars, all twinkling their brilliant light for the universe. They match the full moon, balanced between white and deep grey. All the way out here, miles and miles from the bog that resides over the city, you're able to really appreciate them. 

The atmosphere itself here is an escape, too. Fresh air is abundant -- not processed or cycled through purifiers. The trees and greenery offer it up readily, and you take it in as you rest your head against the back of the chair. 

From your seat, you can see one of the slopes of the resort. It's dotted with guests, some in groups and some alone. An array of equipment is strapped to them -- everything from sleds, inner tubes, skiis, and snowboards. A smile crosses your face as you see a teenage boy wipeout in front of his friends and attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

Just as he stands, hands fisted in his pockets, a young girl is celebrating her first successful ride down the hill without her parents. They embrace each other, all smiles and giggles. 

It all puts things into perspective, oddly enough: people can be less than a foot away from each other on Earth and yet be worlds apart in their journeys. While that teenager was contemplating changing his identity from embarrassment, the little girl was unlocking a core memory for herself. 

It's an interesting thing to think about, and you mull it over for a bit as you continue people watching.

-

Later, as you're getting ready to call it a night, a slightly inebriated man bumps into your chair from behind. He steadies himself on it, but in his clumsy reach to do so his palm accidentally brushes against the back of your neck. You tense, barely holding back a hiss of surprise as the man and his wife humbly apologize. 

You swallow down the feeling bubbling within you and give them a word of absolvement, though you avert your gaze as they walk away. 

You close your eyes, but it’s too late to stop it.

Flashback

The calluses of his large right hand rub against the back of your neck as he leads you past a few small crowds of guests, attempting to contain his seething anger. Tight lipped smiles are given to please them and save face, but before long he's shoving you out into the middle of the hallway and shutting the door behind himself. 

"Why must you always ruin things, Y/N?" He asks, sounding tired but unsurprised. 

You straighten your posture and smooth your clothes out, not wanting him to have the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. 

"Mr. Kim, please enlighten me as to what I've done now." 

"Do you not have any common sense?" His voice is full of disbelief, and his eyes shoot daggers into you. "That young man in there is one of the executives of Styline. Had you not stolen Jisoo's attention away, they would've secured her first endorsement." 

Your brows furrow. "Sir, I've been following your wishes to stay away from her tonight. I wasn't even in her vicinity." He blames you for a lot when it comes to her, but this is getting out of hand. You've specifically fought your own personal wishes to appease the unappeasable, and clearly it was all for nothing. 

"That doesn't matter, you're still in her head and distracting her! She's clearly taken with you, and that's a problem. You can never offer her what she needs." His voice lacks any sympathy for what he says.

You set your jaw, feeling a blush of both anger and embarrassment creep up the back of your neck.

"You sound so sure." You spit back. 

"Because I am," he nods resolutely. "For her, I tried to give you a chance. I attempted to look past your shortcomings and measly ways of life to make her happy, but it's incredibly clear that you aren't what she needs. You, Y/N, are a no one in her world. Once she's started her career, she'll be meeting with people better than you on the daily. You simply don't match." 

Hot tears of anger brim in your eyes, just begging to fall with every new, venomous word that slips out of his mouth. They're vile and harsh, but they do their job well; you begin to question their validity.

"Now," he says, adjusting the golden pins at the end of his cuffs. "Before the night is over, you'll end things with her." 

This, you refuse. Your head snaps up just as your broken gaze meets his haughty one, and you're quick to speak up. "I won't."

"You will," he smiles, already knowing he's won. He takes a step closer to you, looking smug. The sharp scent of his aftershave stings your nose. 

"Do you know how many contacts I have in this town, Y/N? I could have you fired with little more than a phone call. Do you understand me?" 

You fall silent, not knowing what to say. 

"If you want to keep the sad little life you have right now going, I suggest you do as I say. Otherwise I promise you won't be happy with what I'll do to you." 

"You can't threaten me like this. Do you seriously think I won't tell Jisoo?"

He purses his lips, pretending to think. "I know you won't, because it'll make all of this harder." He fakes a pout. "Would you rather her resent me -- someone she'll be seeing constantly throughout her life -- or you, someone she can easily leave behind and forget? Would you really rather make her miserable like that?" 

You shake your head, constantly surprised by his cruelty. "What the hell is wrong with you? All I've ever done is make her happy and protect her. I love your daughter and she loves me. Why does that bother you so much?" 

"Her love for you can be forgotten. She can have a successful life, far away from you and the limits your lifestyle puts on her. She was meant to be a star, Y/N, and you only prevent that from happening." 

"I won't stand here and be belittled like this anymore," you scoff, shaking your head. You turn and walk further down the hall, feeling more anger pump through your body with every heavy footfall.

Just as you reach the end of the corridor, though, you're greeted by two tall men with sketchy looks in their eyes. One cracks his knuckles just as you take a step back, and the other sizes you up. 

Mr. Kim sighs from behind you, still standing where you left him. "It really is a shame that you can't just listen, Y/N. Always making things difficult for everyone involved." 

He clicks his tongue before nodding at the men, and they step forward to grab you. 

>**<

That was one of the worst nights of your life, and the memories still make it feel like it happened yesterday. 

A fresh tear rolls down your cheek, made frigid as the night blows its chilly air your way, and you're quick to swipe it away. The cup in your hands -- more specifically the death grip that you now have on it -- brings you back down to Earth, and you're dragged away from the horrible memories of that night. 

The physical pain you felt then paled in comparison to the heartbreak that you caused Jisoo. Having to turn her gentle hands away as she attempted to heal your wounds was hard enough, but seeing her break down after you ended things was far, far worse. You wanted to apologize a million times over and confess the truth, but the terrible things that the men did to you reigned supreme in your mind. 

The sting of each hit rendered your fate even further immutable, and the warnings that you received about what could happen to you and your family members further sealed your lips. 

You agreed to keep Jisoo oblivious for the sake of everyone, but that didn't make things any easier. Clearly, time hasn't lessened the sting either. 

A hefty sigh pushes its way past your lips as you stand, no longer in the mood to be out here. Sleep still might not be achievable yet, but going up to the room sounds better than being surrounded by strangers right now.

You drop your cup in a waste basket just outside of the building and give a tight lipped smile to the worker who's tasked with stoking the fire and keeping it fed for the foreseeable future. He smiles back, his expression as warm as the fire itself. 

The French-style doors of the patio are opened for you, courtesy of a burly attendant. Kind blue eyes sit behind dark rimmed glasses, shining and pleasant to accompany his word of greeting as you enter the building. You return it in full, feeling the painful memories further retreat for the time being. 

You shake the cold from your body and rub your hands together, hoping to garner some warmth in them again. Jennie's earlier warning comes to mind suddenly, and you make a mental note to prepare yourself for the scolding you'll get if she finds out that you bore the cold sans gloves. Angry mandu incoming. 

Each hit of your shoes against the hardwood flooring of the hall sends an echo out, bouncing off the walls on its way. Paintings hang in meticulously chosen places, all arranged in perfect order. Some are abstract, filling the canvases with brushstrokes of passion rather than rhyme or reason, while others stay inside the lines that make typical people happy. 

They hang side by side, not a corner skewed or crooked in sight. 

The whole place is almost too perfect to be true. 

"Sir, we can accommodate the additional guests, but I'm afraid we'll have to charge you more to rent the larger hall. Yes, I'm aware--" 

You round a corner en route to the elevator, only to be met by the strong shoulder of a concierge. His ardent apologies are spoken with haste and through tight lips as he pulls his phone away from his cheek. 

Just as quickly as he appeared, he leaves; his dress shoes thunder on, announcing his departure.

Unable to help yourself, you listen in to the bargaining he does across the line. It fades as he gets further down the hall, only intriguing you more. With a quick glance around, you decide to follow him. 

-

Royal Hall

Once-quiet discussions are growing louder between the handful of people gathered within. A stern woman points to a printed schedule, harshly reprimanding what seems to be a nervous intern. Nearby, a balding man pokes a finger into the chest of an event organizer. 

The concierge ends his phone call as he approaches the room, and with a pleading look at the ceiling, he releases a breath of worry. 

He launches into a speech as soon as he steps through the doorway, and you press on, being careful to avoid attracting any attention. Muffled insults about his tardiness are audible even from outside, and you frown; these people surely have sticks up their asses for no good reason. 

No offense to people that enjoy that, though. To each their own.

Regardless, it's clear that whoever they are, they're irrational. 

"I just got off the phone with Mr. Kim; he'll be arriving within the next hour or so, and he's requested that we go ahead and start without him. We'll be changing venues tomorrow when more guests arrive as well."

"Finally, some fucking results around here," one of the men mutters, sending an annoyed glance at one of the other workers. 

"Shall I start the presentation?" The concierge stands in front of a laptop that sits on one of the long oak tables of the room, hooked up to a few different wires. 

The executives nod, and he clicks a few buttons until a slideshow fills the screen. Styline reads at the top, in pristine lettering. 

One of the executive's shrill voices asks, "Will Ms. Kim be in attendance?" 

You hold your breath at the mention of that name; it's a common surname, though, so you shouldn't get ahead of yourself. 

"Yes, ma'am. We reached an agreement with Cartier; their other models and ambassadors should be arriving soon as well." 

"Lovely," she says, smiling for the first time tonight. It looks a little strange, like she rarely does it and the muscles of her face are learning along with her. Still, it's better than what she was doing before. 

More images grace the screen as he flicks through the slide show, until a fateful one takes center stage. 

In shock, your hand comes up to your mouth to muffle the sound of your gasp. A few heads turn towards the doorway anyway, still having heard something despite your efforts, and so you quickly move away from it. 

It's a gorgeous one of Jisoo. 

In shock, your hand comes up to your mouth to muffle the sound of your gasp. A few heads turn towards the doorway anyway, still having heard something despite your efforts, and so you quickly move away from it. 

As you make a hasty retreat down the hall and towards the elevator, you hear the door creak open wider. A quick glance back earns you the sight of the concierge shutting the doors after checking the hallway for eavesdroppers. 

With a breath of relief, you press the elevator button and wait for it to arrive. Absently, and with millions of thoughts now racing through your mind, you step into it when it opens up. 

A beat of silence passes before you even realize you aren't alone. 

"What floor, Miss?"

The sudden question startles you, and you hide your face from the worker in embarrassment. 

"Four, please." 

She nods politely and presses the button for you. Her hands are covered by white gloves with beautiful golden designs printed on them.

The elevator stops on the 3rd floor, signaling that another passenger is getting on. It's a young woman and her son, and both of them are bundled up in multiple layers of clothing. You step aside and give them plenty of room to board. 

A singular dimple indents the boy's chubby cheek as he looks up at his mother, clearly excited for whatever they have planned; she runs a hand through his curly hair and smiles down at him, happy to see him happy. It's a sweet moment, and you feel yourself smiling at it, too. 

"No, appa. I'm here now, okay? I'll be taking the night off to rest."

Funny how quickly a smile can fade, huh?

Your eyes scan down the hallway in front of you at the sound of that voice; it's like your ears have been programmed to perk up at it ever since you met her. Jisoo stands in front of a room, fumbling with her wallet in search of her room key, you infer. Her cell phone is held to her cheek by her shoulder, precariously wedged into the space there. Two luggage bags sit at her feet, waiting to be taken in. 

"Miss, is everything alright?" The worker asks from behind you, sensing your sudden change in demeanor. Her finger hovers over the door close button, waiting on your answer.

You swallow, not entirely sure of what to do or say. "Yeah," you eventually eke out, "but I'll get off here instead. Thank you." 

"My pleasure. Have a good evening," she responds. You turn to her and return her kind words before cautiously taking a few steps down the hall. The elevator doors shut behind you a few seconds later with a soft whooshing sound. Jisoo's still talking to her father on the phone; she hasn't noticed you yet, and you don't know if you're happy or upset about that.

"I'll see you in the morning. Eleven o'clock, right?" 

His commanding voice can be heard across the line, crackling through the speaker, and you pull a face at it. You definitely haven't missed it after all this time. 

"That's right, my girl. Now don't get into any trouble tonight, and don't go crazy on room service. You'll have a busy day tomorrow and you need to look your best." 

You frown at his words; it doesn't surprise you that he has something to say about her maintaining her figure, but your lack of shock doesn't make it any better. She shouldn't be limited like that; God knows how much she deserves a break from the strict rules of it all. 

"Okay, dad. Good night." 

She hangs up with a sigh, but her subsequent movement is sorely miscalculated; her phone comes tumbling down, and it ends up sliding across the floor a ways. 

Halfway between you and her. 

She glances up from it to you, only to do a double take as she registers who you are. Her eyes widen, and her mouth opens slightly, going slack as she struggles with what to say. Wordlessly, you bend down and retrieve her phone, feeling its screen press to your palm. It isn't cracked, thankfully, and you turn it over in your hand as you approach her. 

"Hey," you say, lacking any better way of starting things. Your heart's beating faster now that you're face to face again, just the two of you, and you hope it isn't too painfully obvious. 

"Hey," she returns quietly, still shocked. Her eyes flit across your face, and when they pause on your lips for a beat longer than anywhere else, a pang of hope hits deep in your chest. It's misguided and foolish, you know; but it's there. 

"Can I help?"

She visibly contemplates your offer for a moment before ultimately agreeing. What's the worst that could happen? 

"Sure." She takes the phone from you and puts it in her pocket, stepping back a little so you can pick up the bags. The room key finally makes its way into her hand, and she slides it into the reader. 

A mechanical click sounds off, and she releases a nervous breath that you fail to notice as she opens the door. Well, nervousness isn't the only thing present… a part of her is undeniably excited, no matter how hard she may try to repress it.

You set the bags down just inside the room, as per her instruction. She heads to the kitchen to put the rest of her things down while you take in your surroundings. 

A fleeting glance around the suite shows you just how fancy the place really is. You thought your room looked expensive, but compared to this place it's merely a dog house. Pricey furniture and decorations sit in all the right places, looking straight out of a movie; even the paint on the walls is different -- more refined. 

A nearby vase on the entryway table catches your eye, making you bend down slightly to get a better look; accents of gold shimmer across its surface in beautiful, swirling patterns. You wonder for a moment if the gold is real.

"May I?" The question gets your attention, making you stand up straight.  

Her dark eyes scan up to yours almost shyly as she takes a step closer, and you're momentarily confused as to what she's asking. 

"Your coat," she clarifies, smiling softly. You nod and cast your gaze away, feeling a little embarrassed. 

She approaches you from behind as you slip the heavy material off your shoulders, and she holds the cuffs as you wiggle your arms out. When one gets stuck and you have to do a bit of a dance to get it loose, she can't contain her giggle. 

You blush at the sound, though you'd do just about anything to hear it again. It's been so long since you've had her like this -- all to yourself and away from prying eyes. You want to memorize each moment to come and store it away somewhere, just in case you never get to experience it again first hand. You hope with all your heart that things don't come to that, but your situation is tricky. 

You can't say you'd be surprised if things go back to how they were before, with you and Jisoo standing lightyears apart. 

The brunette disappears back into the kitchen to retrieve a couple drinks for you before leading you towards the living room area of the suite. She turns and hands you your glass, gently ushering you to the loveseat. 

She sits on the adjacent couch, looking elegant as she settles onto it. The leather surface looks sleek and modern, and she fits right in. 

You, on the other hand, stick out.

"So…" you start after a moment, desperately wanting to cut through the tension in the room. "What brings you to the resort?" Despite the fact that you already kind of know, you want her to confirm it. Besides, hearing her voice is a reward in and of itself. 

She takes a sip of her drink, peeking over the rim at you. 

"One of the brands that I endorse flew me out here for some photoshoots, and they paid for my stay here. I couldn't pass up the opportunity, so I came."

You hum, thinking to yourself as you begin to toy with your fingers; Jisoo notices. She's always been someone who pays attention to details. 

"And you? What's a homebody like you doing so far from the city?" The smile on her lips can be heard through the words, but the sound makes your heart ache just a little. 

You see, that was one of the lies you had to make up when you ended things. You had to make her believe that your differences ran as deep as that -- that while her place was in the public eye, yours was hidden away somewhere. Truth be told, you've always loved to travel and experience new things. And a part of Jisoo knew this; after all, she spent years of her life by your side. 

But that night radically changed things; you had to say things you didn't mean and become a person you really aren't. It was hard, but for her, you'd do anything. 

"Little vacation from work," you say, finally speaking up again. "The girls invited me. Couldn't pass up the opportunity, you know?" A hint of a smile plays on your lips as you use her line, and she looks up at you. 

You try to ignore the pang of guilt you feel when something unreadable flashes across her face. They were her friends too when you were together, and the split cost her more than you even realized at the time.

She didn't just lose you. She lost them too.

Taking a deep breath, you run a hand up and down your pant leg in an attempt to self soothe. 

"Are you enjoying yourself?" She asks softly. "Are you happy?" 

Those questions alone feel like a slap to the face, but what's more is the tone of her voice. It's genuine -- curious -- despite the fact that she really shouldn't even care. If you didn't know better, you'd attempt to play it off as her simply asking in order to be polite; but, of course, you know her too well for that. 

Her heart is far too big for her own good sometimes. 

You fiddle with one of the rings on your finger as you contemplate how to answer her, twisting and spinning the band across your skin until you've made up your mind. 

"No." You say it truthfully, unwavering. 

"No?" She repeats, voice conveying some emotion you can't quite place. The optimist in you would call it hope, but the cynic would beg to differ. 

"I mean, sometimes, sure. But not truly," you admit, shrugging. "Not like before." 

She nods absently at that as her gaze makes its way to her lap. Her fingers toy with her glass as her brain attempts to process what you're saying and gauge her own emotions at the same time. 

"Are you?"

You attempt to sound neutral, but the air of hope that surrounds your question sells you out. It's obvious what you want her answer to be. 

A sad, lopsided smile of realization forms on her lips. It's not cheerful in the slightest. "Not like before." 

If at all possible, your heart breaks that much more. The only thing that could make what you experienced before worse is the notion that it was all for nothing -- that all this time suffering was felt by the both of you with no happy reprieve or end in sight. 

It's cruel and unusual.

"There's so much I want to say, Jisoo." It's a sorry, breathy acknowledgement of all the things you've been suppressing for so long. 

She doesn't respond right away.

Her lips press to the glass as she takes one final drink of her liquid courage, and she swallows the rich substance down fast. After replacing it on the table in front of her, she settles back into the cushions, getting ready for what she's been waiting on. 

She can finally get some closure. 

"Then speak, Y/N. I'm here to listen." 

With a calming breath, you begin. "I never meant to hurt you. Honestly; I can promise you that." 

She scoffs at your generic intro, but you don't take it to heart; it's easy to understand her reluctance to believe. Nevertheless, a new confession is playing on the tip of your tongue -- one you've mulled over ever since you parted ways -- and you know it's time to tell her.

"If I had had a say in what happened that night, we would still be together right now."

Her demeanor changes at this. Her perfectly-sculpted eyebrows furrow, showing that she can never be truly indifferent when it comes to you. She's intrigued, but incredulous all the same.

"If you had a say? What does that even mean, Y/N?" Inklings of hurt rise in her at the twisted image she has of that night. "You had every bit of the say in that situation." 

You shake your head softly, glancing away. "You know less about it than you think." 

"Then explain it and stop being so cryptic." She crosses her arms over her chest, further guarding her heart from you.

You sigh, falling silent as you weigh your options. Truthfully, you have no idea if her father would still make good on those promises. Perhaps he can't even be bothered to do it now that Jisoo's famous, just like he wanted; but can you really take that kind of risk? No matter how much you despise him, no amount of hatred can take away the power he holds. 

Clearly, your lack of answer has worked to frustrate Jisoo; she rises from the couch, shaking her head disdainfully. "Either tell me or get out. I'm sick of these games, Y/N." 

Despite how upset she looks, you can't bring yourself to tell her. Your fear eclipses your personal wishes, prompting you to utter a halfhearted response that you'll never truly want to say. "... I can't." 

Bitter acceptance dances across her face, overtaking her features. She should've known. It was a mistake to invite you in and think things could be any different than before. Her friends warned her, and yet she was blinded by what could've been. Seeing you again has only caused more problems for her, and it's about time she lets that sink in. 

She turns to walk towards the door, which she fully intends to open and usher you out of in the next five seconds. But you stand, too, in a move that only makes its way to your brain once the soft skin of her wrist slides against your palm. The action was instinctual -- not thought out in the slightest as your muscle memory kicked in and sent you after her -- but it was warranted by the deeper parts of your heart that you've blocked out for so long. Their commands have fallen silent until now. 

"Wait, please." 

She faces you again, now just a few steps from the door, and glances down at where your hands meet. You're just as warm and comforting as she remembers, annoyingly; she takes her hand away, working hard to forget the sensation of yours on her again. 

She sets her jaw and crosses her arms, going silent as she waits for you to continue.

"I was threatened, okay? My family members, too. Someone told me they'd make my life hell if I stayed with you." 

"And you didn't tell me?" Her head tilts following her question. "I would've arranged for them to be questioned by police and--"

"I couldn't, Jisoo." A pause fills the air as you question if you're really ready to cross that line. Once you do, there's no going back...

"Because the person was your father." 

"What? No." She shakes her head and one of her hands gains purchase on your bicep, strong against it as she goes to push you away and towards the door. 

"I'm not lying; I promise." You plead, hoping she'll believe you. 

A look of disgust pulls at her features now, making you feel small. "Why couldn't you just tell me the truth, Y/N? All this time, all I've wanted are honest answers and you give me this? I never thought you'd be the type." The last line stings, adding salt to the wound. 

She urges you towards the door, refusing to believe what you're saying about the man she's known her whole life. He'd never do something like that -- she's sure of it. 

Sensing that it's now or never, you offer up a question as a last ditch effort. You plant your foot firmly beside the door and turn to her. "Do you remember that night?" A crestfallen look is on your face, and you can feel it. 

"How beaten up I was?"

Jisoo regards you and nods, deciding to drop her hand and stop pushing you for the time being. 

"It was your father's men." A moment of silence passes, and although you're surprised she hasn't kicked you out already, you don't let your shock stall you any longer. "I know I always promised that I wouldn't lie to you, Jisoo, but the only time I went against my word was that night."

You swallow, nervous. "I didn't get in a random fight like I told you; it was them." 

"Why would they do that?" Her tone is genuine. 

"Because I refused to back down without a fight. I didn't want to end things."

You decide to test the waters by stepping away from the door and taking a cautious step towards her, palms upturned as you subtly reach for her.

"I didn't want to leave you." 

She hesitates, and the anger on her face falters enough for you to see past it. It's merely hiding her pain. 

"If you'll let me, I'll explain everything. Anything you want to know." You run a thumb along her knuckles, just like you used to when she was stressed. 

"Just please trust me and come sit down." 

Your gentle coaxing seems to work; she lets you take her hands further into your own, conveying your sincerity. It's a simple gesture, but it's leaps and bounds away from anything you could've expected out of a night like tonight. 

Even still, as you make your way back to the sofas, the distance between you is prevalent. For every promising step forward, one is taken back; you sit on the same couch, but on opposite ends. Her gaze is fixated on you, just like you've wanted it to be all this time, but it's intimidating in a way you find difficult to handle. 

Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and tell her everything. The entirety of what went down that night, all the awful things her father said and vowed to use against you -- all of it comes tumbling past your lips in a clumsy rush to finally meet the light of day. The things you've kept inside -- your feelings, what you wish you would've told her -- fill the air of her suite, lifting a bit of weight from your shoulders as they go. 

She listens intently, and at times when she has a hard time believing something -- when that nasty feeling of doubt begins to seep in again -- you're quick to mitigate it with a valid explanation. Fathoming that her father would do all of that is difficult for her, and understandably so, but she can't find a reason for you to lie about it now. She trusts you on this, despite her brain telling her to be weary. 

By the end of your explanation, both of you are teary eyed. A sniffle rings through the prevailing silence, and Jisoo's arm remains propped against the back of the couch, as it has been. Her hand is pulled into a fist, and resting beneath her chin; she resembles The Thinker as she works to process everything. 

"To think that I've spent all this time hating you when it was never really your fault…" Her voice is wistful as she trails off. 

That cruel word hangs heavy in the air, and you take a deep breath to offset the dull ache in your chest at its utterance.

"I can't blame you for that." Your lips press together. "I might not have been the catalyst, but I sure as hell guaranteed that you wouldn't want to be around me anymore after that night." 

She doesn't attempt to flatter you with any denial of that fact; you both know you're right. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I had no idea he would ever do something like that."

"Don't," you say, holding a hand up to silence her. "Don't you dare apologize for him."

She looks down, upset.

"To be fair, he had a point. I know you, Jisoo. You would've settled down in my lame ass little town and lived in our apartment for the rest of your life. You wouldn't have gone after your dreams, and I wouldn't have been able to watch you give it up. So it's my fault too," you admit, nodding to yourself as that fact hits you. "Don't think I'm totally innocent just because of what he did."

"I would've been happy with living in your lame ass little town because I would've been with you."

Your sad eyes track up to hers at that.

"I loved you, Y/N. A lot. And now, what?" Her voice turns pompous as she mocks the words she's saying: "I'm rich and famous and I get to travel all the time. I get to stay in gorgeous locations and make conversation with some of the most influential people in the world. Does that make you happy?"

Her expression screams resentment, and you can't even blame her. She's had the people around her pulling the invisible strings attached to her future and happiness behind her back for years.

As you search through your mind for what to say, carefully avoiding how her use of the word loved made your heart hurt, you eventually find a fitting response. "When we were together, I saw you fall in love with modeling and embrace a new side of yourself. Nothing ever made you glow like that, Jisoo. When you were trying on new things and getting in front of that camera more often, I knew that that's where you belong. I could see it, then, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

She gives a dismissing wag of her head. "As noble as that is, you still should've told me the truth."

You sigh again -- you've probably done that more tonight than ever before in your life. "Jisoo--"

"No. You know what? No. Shut up. You were the one person who I finally found comfort in; who didn't judge me. I was at home with you no matter where we were or what we were doing, and I needed that kind of stability more than anything. I would've given up everything for you, Y/N, and I'm sick of you acting like that's so hard to believe." She's exasperated, and tiredly so. "You were everything to me. So much more than a job ever was."

Stunned into silence, you merely tap the back of the couch with your finger. The gravity of her words courses through you, realized little by little. 

Quietly, you ask: "Were?"

She drops eye contact, and your heart sinks. You know it was stupid to get your hopes up after everything, but you'd be lying to say you didn't. As silence wins out yet again, speaking volumes as it hangs thickly in the air, you push yourself further into the cushions. 

Jisoo eyes you for a moment. She doesn't speak, doesn't move -- just watches you as she inwardly debates on something. Her jaw clenches and releases a few times, its lines contoured by the lamp light of the room, but you don't see it. After a moment, she makes up her mind. Standing from the couch, she crosses the entryway and disappears down a short hallway. 

You're confused by her sudden departure, but you stay put. If she wanted you to see yourself out, she would've said so… right?

A minute or so later, she returns with something clutched in her hand. It's hidden from your view until she sits down, though this time she's a fraction closer to you than before. Baby steps.

"Do you remember our trip to Hawaii?" 

You nod, wiping a leftover tear from your cheek. "Our first anniversary," you say, a bittersweet smile on your face.

"That was one of the happiest times of my life," she admits, taking a breath. She replays the memories in her mind, right then and there: the laughter you shared, how close it brought the two of you. It was a whirlwind trip that she still wishes she could relive again. 

When she's out on the road for business, she always finds herself drifting back to that place. 

Her skin remembers the warmth of the sand, how the cool water slid over it to remedy the heat. Her lips and body remember the promises yours made with every movement, every kiss -- the entirety of it haunts her, but she can't say she would want it any other way. 

"I kept this." 

Her hand opens to reveal the small ring you won for her. 

It was a perfect night; the breeze rolling in was cool enough to offset the residual heat lingering from the daytime, but warm enough to keep you comfortable. Jisoo was right next to you, brushing closer to your side with every step you took down the street. Her arm fit around your body like it was always meant to be there, holding you against her in a sweet embrace. 

Lights surrounded you on both sides, some bright and multicolored while others opted for a soft, golden glow. The street vendors all called for your attention, hoping to interest you in what they were selling. 

One finally caught your eye. 

An elderly woman sat beside her booth, clad in a beautiful dress that rippled and flowed just like the ocean. A flower was nestled above her ear, pairing nicely with the jewelry she wore. 

"Fate Charms" was written in stylized handwriting above the entrance of the tent. Jisoo noticed your intrigue, and decided to investigate. She tugged you forward and towards the shop with little warning. 

The woman's eyes lit up when she saw you approaching. "Good evening, beauties. How is the island treating you?" Her voice was gentle, but a slight waver could be heard in it due to her age.

"Wonderfully," you smiled, nodding. 

"And you?" Jisoo asked, grinning at her. 

"Ah, I'm fine, dear. Thank you for asking." She stood from her chair and approached the makeshift counter, which she promptly stood behind. 

"May I interest you in a fate charm?"

You shared a look with Jisoo before agreeing. The woman beamed. 

"Great! Let me show you how it works," she said, clasping her hands together. She shifted until she was standing in front of a bin full of round plastic containers, each numbered and with a unique symbol painted on it. 

"This part is simple; the two of you will each choose one of these," she instructed, motioning to the bin. "Whatever you pick will be given to the other person, and the two symbols on the container will be combined for a second gift."

Both of you nodded, and Jisoo gently guided you to stand in front of her in a silent way of telling you to go first.

"Now, when you choose, there's only one rule: close your eyes. You'll know which one you're meant to pick." 

You thanked her for the instruction and did as she said, closing your eyes. Jisoo's fingertips slid against the small of your back unconsciously as she watched your hand hover over the bin; eventually you paused, letting the woman know you'd found the one. You opened your eyes and handed it to her before trading places with Jisoo. 

She repeated what you did, and the woman took both prizes to a clear section of the counter. She unlocked and opened them before holding both packages up to the lamp inside the tent with shaky hands. 

"Ah, moon and sun. Two classics," she noted, as she took a chest out from beneath the counter. She searched inside of it momentarily before producing a slip of paper and making her way back over to you. 

"For you, my dear," she said, looking at Jisoo. "A ring." She held her hand out, showing a small band with a heart at its center. It was simple yet elegant, shining with beautiful stones of some kind. They were likely native to the island, you realized, and that made them all the more valuable. 

"And for you," she turned, addressing you. "A necklace." She held it up, allowing you to get a good look at it. A heart similar to Jisoo's took center stage, but inside of it was a moving needle -- like that of a compass. 

You both took your gifts from her with grateful bows and put them on as she unraveled the paper. 

"Your last present is a message. It says: love knows no time limits. Borders and distance don't confine matters of the heart; be true. To yourself, to your other half. Know that in the end, whatever will be, will be. Things rooted in destiny will forever find their way to fruition."

"Wow," Jisoo breathed, amazed. 

"That's beautiful; mahalo nui loa." You said.

The woman humbly shook her head. "Don't thank me; thank yourselves."

You looked down, admiring the charm between your fingers. It was smooth, and it was beginning to warm up as your skin lent it some heat. 

"How much do we owe you?"

"Not a cent. I don't do this for money." 

Her statement came as a surprise -- one that was clearly written on both your and Jisoo's faces. The woman laughed when she noticed your expressions. 

"Just enjoy, alright? That's payment enough." 

You extended both hands to her, taking her aging one between them with care. "You made our night even more special," you said, feeling Jisoo slide up behind you. Her head came to rest against your shoulder as her arms wrapped around you. "Thank you again," she said to the woman, feeling her heart swell at the blush that rose to her tanned cheeks. The attention you both were giving her was more than she was used to, and it was making her shy. 

"You're welcome, my loves." 

                                  -- 

"I kept it," Jisoo repeats, bringing you back to present-day. She wipes a fallen tear from her cheek as her tongue darts out to soothe her lips. 

"I wanted to give it away at first; but I remembered what that woman said and couldn't find it in myself to let go. I kept hoping that the message would come true if I kept it, but it never did." 

Reaching a hand up your body, you dip it beneath the collar of your shirt. The familiar, smooth charm presses to your palm as you pull it from the cover of the material. 

"I kept mine, too." 

Jisoo's eyes widen the slightest bit, and you notice her hand twitch. Before your brain can stop you, you take it in your own and bring it to the necklace, allowing her to feel it and confirm that it's real. 

The needle points straight at her. 

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Jisoo," you confess, holding her hand tighter. You don't want her to slip away this time. 

"I know that what I did was fucked up. No matter why I did it, I hurt you; and I'm so sorry. If I could go back and change things, I'd do it in a heartbeat." 

She blinks, willing herself not to cry. 

"And… and I know that you probably can't forgive me. And that's alright. I just want you to know that you made me the happiest person alive, and all I ever want is to see you happy. You deserve every single good thing that this world has to offer, Chu, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you." 

You bring her hand to your lips and kiss the back of it. Only now does it sink in that this might be the last time you ever have her so close. 

Bitter silence fills the room again, remaining unbroken save for your occasional sniffles. 

But her subsequent lack of a response is answer enough for you, and you nod to yourself. You've both made your peace; now it's time to deal with what comes after. She learned the truth after all this time, and that's a victory in itself. 

Carefully, you get up and approach the door. The chilly metal works its way into your hand before you turn back, one last time. You hope she'll be looking, but then again, that might make things harder. 

(Un)luckily for you, she isn't. 

You clench your jaw and walk out, holding your head as high as you can manage right now. More tears spill from your eyes despite the fight you put up to keep them in. 

Now out in the hallway, you take a deep breath. The wall presses to your back as you lean on it, reassuring in its sturdiness. It'll be there for you if no one else will, and that's something. 

You take a moment to wipe your tears and clean yourself up a bit before trekking your way back to the elevator. The walk there feels like a mile hike up the steepest mountain you've ever encountered; your body resents you for every step you take, but you know it has to be done. 

On the couch, Jisoo's crying, too. Her heart feels tight, pushed to its limits and weak from the strain of all this. It aches, truly. She wonders if seeing you again was a sign; but maybe too much damage has already been done. Trusting you again isn't something that would come very easy; the nasty thought that history might repeat itself again or that you might slip away in the middle of the night with no explanation would always be at the back of her mind, nagging her. She wouldn't want to put you through that, and she definitely wouldn't want to subject herself to it either.

Maybe that woman's message was meant for another life. 

Exhausted, you allow your head to lull to the side and rest against the hallway wall. The elevator button emits a warm yellow glow when you push it, and mechanical sounds fill the shaft as it begins its ascent to you. 

The doors open up soon after, filling your vicinity once more with that gentle whooshing sound, and you step inside. The pleasant look on the attendant's face and the greeting she was about to give both fade away, and she solemnly averts her gaze. 

From your peripheral, you can see her debating on something. She wants to offer you some type of reassurance, but she doesn't know what to say. 

As she opens her mouth to speak, floundering for a second, another voice takes the spotlight from her. 

"I'm not ready to lose you again." 

The statement catches your attention, prompting you to raise your head and spin around. Jisoo stands outside of her door, teary eyed, as her fists ball in the material of her pants. 

"I'm scared of letting you in again," she confesses, taking a few steps closer. "But I can't keep pushing you away when the one thing I want is to have you in my life. Scared or not." 

You sniffle, and your feet work in tandem with your heart to bring you closer to her. 

The attendant, though intrigued beyond belief, takes that as her cue to leave. Once you're out in the hall, she closes the doors and descends to give you some privacy. 

"I'm willing to try again, Y/N. But only if you promise to be honest with me." Jisoo's lip quivers, and your heart breaks. "No exceptions." 

You agree -- of course you do -- and close what distance is left between you. 

Her arms wrap around your neck, and yours go to her waist, pulling her closer than ever before. It all happens in a rush; neither of you can deny how much you've ached to be wrapped in the other's embrace. 

Jisoo's wanted this since the day you walked away.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper fiercely into her shoulder, where your tears and broken cries mingle. 

"I've missed you more than you'll ever know." She tells you. "And I never stopped loving you, either, no matter what I've said." 

She tightens her hold on you as she cries, needing to feel you close. The collar of your shirt dampens the longer you stand there, but that's the furthest thing from your mind. She's in your arms again, finally, and it's everything you could've ever wanted. 

"Come back inside," she says quietly, feeling a little too exposed now. A woman enters her room with a freshly-refilled ice chest, pretending she didn't just witness part of your reunion. 

You nod and take the hand that she offers to you, feeling butterflies take flight. Something you can't quite place shines in her eyes as she unlocks the door -- a glint away from satisfaction, perhaps -- and it's all you can do to keep calm. You have no idea what she has planned for you now, but you're ready for whatever it is. 

Click

The door latches softly behind you, closed by your nervous hands, and Jisoo turns to face you again. She lets herself enjoy the sight of you now; she'd definitely done so earlier, but it was laced with an anger and resentment that she wants to let go of. 

Her gaze softens when she notices how red your nose and eyes are -- evidence of how much you care. You didn't come tonight to get anything for yourself; no selfish reason sent you to her. But what's more is that the entire thing matters to you just as much as it does to her. It makes it real, and it makes her heart beat a little stronger again. 

It had stumbled into some sort of uncanny rhythm without you -- one she's glad to get rid of, no matter how long it takes. 

Her hands cup your cheeks as she steps closer, chilly against your heated skin. The action pulls a sigh from your lips, making her smile the tiniest bit. It's such a pure thing. 

She brushes your hair out of your face, wanting to see you better, and you take the opportunity to wrap your arms around her waist again and pull her closer. 

"I never thought I'd be saying this," she starts, humor evident in her growing smile, "but I've missed your touch more than I thought I would." 

You raise an eyebrow. "Yeah?" 

She nods as you bring your right hand up to her face, caressing her cheek with the back of your fingers. "Anywhere you want it, it's yours." 

Her long lashes meet gently as she blinks, thinking about all the places she wants you. She's been surviving on her memories of you, reminiscing and replaying the nights that you stayed up well into the AM getting lost in one another, and the prospect of having it all for real again excites her. 

You can tell, because a low blush rises to her cheeks and she subtly presses her thighs together. 

It's comforting, knowing that she still wants you. 

"Tell me where, Jisoo." 

Her dark eyes meet yours again -- rich pools of velvet, swirling with desire -- and you feel your pulse quicken. 

"Here," she utters, quiet and intimate. Her hand guides yours downward, skating underneath the hem of her sweater and giving you access to her warm skin. Your breath catches, taken aback, but you do well in playing it off. 

Your fingertips trace over the defined lines of her abs, feeling them flex and tremble beneath your touch. Her chest rises and falls a little faster when you bring your hand up, skimming it across the lace of her bra. 

"Kiss me," she says suddenly, catching you off guard. Your gaze leaves her body, flitting up to her face. 

You pause, studying her. She looks vulnerable, but embers of a hidden fire flicker in her eyes. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Entirely." 

Time stops for a moment, kindly allowing you to focus on the softness of her lips as you press yours to them. They taste like the wine she was sipping on earlier -- rich and utterly intoxicating. 

She molds her body to yours, fitting herself against every curve and dip of you like she can't get close enough. The distance was present for so long -- now she wants to make up for lost time. 

When you part for air, she dips her head down and kisses your neck. But these aren't like you remember; they aren't shy or meek in the slightest. They're bold, open mouthed, entirely seductive kisses that're meant to leave you ruinous and put you under her spell. She further asserts this new side of herself as she pushes you against the door, smiling against your pulsepoint at the soft grunt you make in response to the impact. 

"Jisoo, what--"

"I learned some new tricks while you were away, Y/N," she interrupts, kissing just below your jawline now. Her voice is low, filled to the brim with confidence. "I learned new things about myself. What I like… what I need. And one of those things is having you submit to me. Will you do that?" 

Your jaw tenses as a blush creeps up the back of your neck. This side of her is definitely something to experience. 

She pulls back to look into your eyes. A dominance shines in hers, but it's soft; she'd never make you do something you're uncomfortable with. Light from one of the nearby standing lamps casts a hazy glow on her, making her even more ethereal. 

How could you ever deny her? After everything, she deserves to have control. 

"Yes." 

An almost imperceptible smile crosses her face at that. 

She leans forward and kisses you again as her hands go to the hem of your shirt, quickly slipping it over your head. Goosebumps span out across your skin in response to the new exposure, noticed by her as her wandering hands feel them. She gets an idea. 

"Follow me," she instructs against your lips. You subtly nod, and she takes your hand in her own. 

She leads you down the hallway from earlier and stops in front of the first door on the left. As she opens it, she casts a sensual look over her shoulder at you that has an all too familiar throbbing between your legs picking up in an instant. You shake your head and look up at the ceiling, silently pleading that you make it out of this alive. 

Now inside the master bedroom, you peer around in wonder at everything before you. A massive bed is pushed against the wall west of you, topped by a comforter that looks to be made from the softest materials in existence and a plethora of pillows, all of different sizes and firmness.

A desk and chair sit to the right of the door, and on the east wall a sizable electric fireplace resides, flickering in all of its glory. On the far side of the room, two curtains are pulled halfway in front of the doors of the patio, partially concealing it. From what you can make out from where you stand, it's roomy out there and furnished with a spotless couch and table.

Jisoo watches you. She sees the way the corners of your lips turn up ever so slightly when you notice something you like or that intrigues you. She sees how the lights of the room add even more of a sparkle to your eyes; how your lashes meet every so often. She could look at you forever; su estrella. 

But she yearns for more than just seeing you, and her patience is wearing thin. She needs to feel you, to taste you. To know that you're still hers and that you're not leaving this time. 

"Come help me set up, my love." She says, kissing your cheek.

You smile and agree, feeling your heart soar at her use of the term. Words could never do justice to what it feels like when she calls you that. 

She grabs the comforter, untucking it from the corners and pulling it off the bed, and she motions her head towards the pillows. You catch on and grab some, picking the ones you think are the most comfortable and taking some that you know she'll like. You follow her towards the hearth, where she gracefully fans the blanket out and crouches down to fix it. 

You're momentarily distracted by the way her muscles jump and move with her motions, but you eventually snap out of your daze. 

She steps to the side and takes her shoes off -- you realize now that yours are on, too. Evidently you were too preoccupied to remove them earlier. 

You take yours off as well and plop the pillows down, setting up a nice little area for the two of you. You primp the cases and fluff them, wanting them to look as good as possible. Once you're satisfied with your work, you turn around to look at her. 

"What do you think--"

Oh shit.

She stands now in only her bra and panties, black and red lace interwoven beautifully and dead set on driving you wild. Her dark hair ripples over her shoulders, falling in perfectly elegant waves that contrast with her fair skin. Your mouth runs dry as you drink in the sight of her, letting your eyes take their time in admiring every inch offered up. 

A smug smirk rests on her lips, though truth be told she feels giddy to have you looking at her in such a way. Part of her was afraid things might've changed. 

"Kneel." 

Your eyes slightly widen at the order, but you do as she says once it registers in your mind. The soft blanket beneath you welcomes your knees, caressing them as you lower yourself down. Your gaze remains locked with hers, and you watch as she gulps upon seeing you listen so readily. It feeds her ego, and you love to see it. 

She needs this -- needs to have the say for once. And you're more than happy to let her have it.

She saunters over, stepping past her discarded clothes to reach you. Once her feet -- tired and aching from the heels she's had to wear all day -- make contact with the blanket, she inwardly sighs. Cautiously, and in a move to test the waters, you reach a hand out, allowing it to stroke the back of her calf. 

Her eyes close at the sensation, reveling in the feeling of your slightly chilly fingertips against her, and she lets you continue. You move in closer until your front is hovering next to her, just far enough away for you to still be able to get a good look at her as you peer up. 

Your warm breath fans across her thighs, steady and tantalizing. Her head gently lulls back when you bring your free hand to her other leg, slipping it further up until it reaches the back of her thigh. She trembles slightly, and so you lean forward to press a soothing kiss to her hip. 

After leaving another there, you sneak down a little further, towards the apex of her thigh. You want to see how far she'll let you go before she pulls the reins back.

A few kisses later, and then...

"Y/N--" her voice is warning, but she makes no move to stop you. You wait, one beat… two… but all of her subsequent orders die out for the time being, no longer awarded the honor of being spoken. 

You loop your thumbs in the band of her panties, one set at each side of her hips as you pull them away from her skin and drag your lips across the area you expose. She whimpers when you leave a small hickey in your wake, and the sound has you shifting slightly as you feel the heat between your legs increase. 

You inch the material down until it reaches her knees, and then look up at her for confirmation. Her slender hand cups your jaw as her thumb brushes against your cheek lovingly. She looks utterly breathtaking as she towers over you, a gorgeous angel peering down. 

"I'll let you have your fun now, Y/N, because I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. You'll be begging before too long, anyway," she shrugs nonchalantly. "I might as well get your appetite going in the meantime." 

You swallow thickly at the tone of her voice. She says it like a fact, because she knows exactly what she's going to do to you. What positions she wants to try, what techniques… and all of it sends a thrill to your core, making desire pool dangerously in your stomach. 

"Go on," she says, glancing down at herself. "Do what you like." 

Butterflies take flight at that, and you waste no time in leaning forward to kiss her again. First it's her toned abdomen, where you leave a trail of love bites for her to look at later. She always liked being marked by you, she said, in places that only she would see. It made it even more special for her. More personal.

You work your way down, allowing your lips to remind her of how much you love her in every way they can. You nip at the skin of her thighs as you bring a hand up, pressing your thumb to her clit as the rest of it lays against her lower abdomen. 

"Fuck," she curses quietly, making you grin. She's so sensitive to your touch that you can't help but get a confidence boost from it. 

She feels you smile against her, and so she tangles a hand in your hair to put you in your place. 

"If you want to continue, you'd better not get cocky." She tightens her grip to prove her point, and you nod, relenting. 

You circle her clit slowly at first, almost as a silent apology as you ease her into the rhythm, but once she's comfortable and completely loosened up for you you speed up your movements. You lick a stripe up her folds and moan at the taste that you've missed so much. 

The vibrations course through her, making her clench around nothing and blush at how wet you've already made her. She puts a steadying hand on your shoulder, knowing she'll need something to hold on to soon enough. 

Huskily, she speaks. "More, Y/N." 

Her needy wish is your command. You replace your thumb with your mouth, carefully taking her clit into it as your thumb comes down to stroke her entrance and tease her some more. You suck on it, eliciting breathy moans from her and making her legs tremble. Her fist tightens in your hair again, making your eyes water slightly. 

She lets out a soft groan when you slide a finger into her, remembering all of her favorite spots. It pumps in a steady rhythm -- one that's quickly outpaced by her racing heart. Her fingers curl against the skin of your shoulder, leaving tiny indentations from her nails in the process.

Her left leg raises, slotting itself over your shoulder as you move closer to her. You steal a glance up at her, finding her lip pulled between her teeth and her eyes shut tight. 

Something magical resides in the way that you work her up, knowing her body like the back of your hand. She ebbs, you flow; you push, she pulls. It's a dance for two, truly, and you're making it count.

Pleasure courses through her in waves, building upon itself with everything you do to her. It ripples throughout her body, making her come alive; every flick of your tongue and movement of your fingers inside of her -- no matter how subtle -- have her yearning for more. Her broken moans create a melody as she revels in it, nearly getting lost. 

But still, part of her is holding back. She wants to let go; her body grinds against you wantingly, searching for more of the high you give. Her pulse beats wildly, thumping so loudly that she wonders if you can hear it. It serves as a testament, going to show just how much she's aching to give in. 

But she can't give herself to you fully -- and you notice. 

Stilling your movements, you pull away to look at her. Her chest heaves from what you've been doing, and her center glistens with even more evidence. 

She gazes down at you, softening when she sees the care in your eyes.

"What's wrong?" You ask gently, voice full of concern. Lust still plays on its tones, too.

She doesn't answer you with words. Instead she glances away, clearly reluctant to share what's on her mind -- almost as if she's ashamed of something. She subtly nibbles on the inside of her cheek; a habit of hers that you know all too well.

Pursing your lips, you look beside yourself to an open spot on the blanket. An idea comes to mind. 

"Come lay down." 

She looks hesitant but not totally opposed, so you continue. "It'll be more comfortable that way." You put a warm hand on her calf again, soothing her. "Just trust me." 

She nods and takes a deep breath, placing her hand in yours as you help ease her down. She lays back on the pillows and shuffles down a little until she's comfortable. Once she's settled, she looks up at you. 

You sit beside her, using one arm to prop yourself up and leaving the other free to touch her. Your eyes flit across her body, admiring the sight you can never get enough of; but before you can get too distracted, you focus your attention back on her face. 

Her brown eyes shine, warm and tempting. They look like home; something unique glimmers in them, indescribable in its nature. Some light, like that of a distant star, maybe, that you've been searching for in every pair that you've come across since leaving. 

But only hers have ever made you feel so safe. Only hers have had that sparkle.

She brings a hand up to your cheek, cupping it sweetly. A million things pass between the two of you, unspoken yet understood. You turn your head slightly and kiss her palm. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N." She says softly. Her dominant demeanor wavers now, eclipsed by the guilt she feels. 

You shake your head, settling your hand on her side. "Don't be. I know that this is difficult." 

She doesn't look satisfied with that, though. She sighs quietly, wanting to explain herself more. "You have no idea how much I want this. How much I want you," her hand drops to your arm now, skating down it. 

"I'm just so scared. You still have me wrapped around your finger, and if you leave again after tonight -- after what we'll do tonight -- I don't know how I'll recover."

You tut at her, knitting your brows together pitifully. 

"I know that what happened will always stick with us, babe, and I hate that. I wish I could change it, because you don't deserve all this." Your head shakes, disappointment obvious. "The second guessing… the doubts." 

She stays quiet, needing to hear your words just as badly as you need to get them off your chest. 

"But I can only make up for it now, and every coming day that you'll let me. I'll do everything I can to earn your trust back and show you that I'd never make that mistake again. You're my world, Chu." Her fingers thread with yours at her side. 

"You always have been." You say, a small smile easing its way onto your face. It's bittersweet and full of regret.

"And I understand if this is too much all at once. If you don't want to have sex tonight, we won't." A singular nod leaves you, and Jisoo's heart warms at the familiar sight. She always used to say you looked like an officer when you did that -- so serious and official.

You continue, suggesting, "Maybe we'll just watch some TV or something. I heard that [Her/Fav/S] is coming back with a few new episodes. I could make some food or order some takeout, and-- wait, do they even have takeout in the village?"

"Y/N," she says, cutting off your rambling. Her head shakes ever so slightly, amused. 

"Yeah?" 

"We're having sex tonight," she affirms, sitting up. "But we can do that stuff after, too." 

Surprise must be written all over your face, because Jisoo giggles soon after her statement. 

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured if you're not ready yet."

"I'm sure, jagi." She scoots closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist. Some final piece seems to have fallen into place for her; a puzzle solved. 

"You might have to hold my hand, though." 

Her gaze levels with yours, and as her smile widens you notice that her eyes are on their way to forming those adorable half crescents that you love. A bit of mischief shines in them, further easing your worries. 

"Anything for you," you sigh with a grin, putting your hands behind your back so you can hold both of hers. 

As she leans in to kiss you, you wonder if she did that on purpose. 

Her full lips glide against yours slowly, relearning the rhythm that they used to share. Their softness is only rivaled by the passion that guides them; they teeter between gentleness and intensity the longer she kisses you. 

With a squeeze, she lets go of your hands and rests her own on your thighs. The material of your pants greets her fingertips, and she tugs them down your legs without breaking the kiss. You slip them off and toss them somewhere behind her, only to be pressed down into the comforter a second later. You laugh to yourself at her sudden eagerness. 

"You're so beautiful," she whispers against your lips, taking the bottom one in between her own as she settles her hips between your thighs. Your legs instinctively wrap around her waist, pulling her in close. 

You moan as she rocks against you, searching for friction to ease the ache that you've caused. She kisses the breath out of you in retaliation, only satisfied once you're panting like she was earlier. 

Your arms snake around her torso as you pull her in, grinding on her. 

A curse slips out of her mouth, and she puts a hand on the floor above your head, steadying herself. She's embarrassingly close already. 

Remnants of her heady perfume wash over you following her sudden movement, and you faintly smile. She still wears the same kind.

Warm light from the fireplace flickers across her features, making them look even stronger than usual. Her jawline is sharper, even more defined; the curve of her nose and lips even more beautiful somehow. She's a work of art, striking yet delicate.

"Baby, look at me." You request, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek. It's hot against your palm as she nuzzles into you, turning to grant your wish. 

Her dilated pupils surprise you at first, but soon you find comfort in them. They show that her desire comes not only from touching you and being touched, but merely by looking at you. You turn her on without even trying. 

She kisses you again, pinning both of your wrists above your head with one of her hands. The other runs down your body, worshipping every dip, curve, and perfect imperfection. 

First, it wraps around your neck. Her slender fingers apply faint pressure -- just enough to arouse you. She feels your pulse, how it jumps and beats for her; you still feel the same. Your body reacts to her touch just as it did before, and that turns her on. She's still your best.

Her hand pushes under your bra next, teasing your breasts in time with the greedy rutt of her hips. You writhe beneath her, feeling your toes curl when she pinches your nipple and massages the ache away. 

"Has anyone else touched you like this?" She asks, now moving her hand across your abdomen. It ghosts over your skin, and she appreciates the way your shuddered breaths make it ripple. 

"Have they, Y/N?" She prods, peering up at you. Her mouth hovers above your chest, tempting and warm on your exposed skin.

"No," you reply, glancing away. "I haven't been with anyone since you." Your eyes close, both in embarrassment at that admission and avoidance of her gaze. It's clear that she can't say the same for herself, seeing as how she was with that man back in the city. You're not prepared for her reply, whatever it may be, because you know it'll hurt regardless. A lie to comfort you, perhaps, or even the truth. Usually the truth hurts more.

"What?" She asks, sounding breathless. She's taken aback. 

"You heard me." 

A twinge of bitterness lies hidden behind your words, but not well enough to go unnoticed by her. 

"I haven't either," she admits. 

Your brows furrow as you look at her.

"What about the guy in the city? I thought..."

She's already shaking her head before you can finish your statement. "He's my manager. We were grabbing some food while we waited for a meeting with one of our executives. They had us fly in for business." 

"Oh." 

The simple response is all you can come up with, and it makes her laugh. You smile at her, feeling a bit of weight lifted from your shoulders at that revelation.

"I thought about it," she confesses after a minute, "but I couldn't have gone through with it. Nobody would've even compared to you." 

She lets go of your arms now, letting both of her hands roam your body as they please. Your bra is undone and removed from you in an instant, and quickly replaced by her mouth. She paints your skin with love bites, returning the favor. 

"You remember that old camcorder we experimented with back in Paris?" She mumbles a couple minutes later, lips trailing down your sternum as she moves down your body. 

Oh God. "The one with our sex tape?" 

She grins cockily against your hip, where she's begun to pull your panties down. "Bingo." 

"You kept it?" You ask, finding it harder to breathe when she rids you of the thin material and peppers kisses across your thighs.

"I did more than just keep it, jagi." A low chuckle leaves her, though it's more so out of reminiscence than humor. She lost count a long time ago of how many times she's replayed that video, mesmerized by you and her memories of that night. When she watches it, she can almost feel the humid breeze that drifted into your cabana then, sensual and rich with the promises it held for your time together.

Part of you wonders where this side of her has been hiding; she's always been so demure that you'd have never expected this from her. 

"I have to say, though," she starts, sitting back on her knees as she pushes yours open wider. "The camera could never do this pretty pussy justice." 

You groan at her words and bury your face in your hands, feeling exposed and shy all at once. She quick to pull them away, though, and simply glance above your head to let you know that she won't hesitate to pin them again. 

"There's no need to be embarrassed, baby. Your body's incredible," her eyes drink in the sight of you, possessive in their darkness. "I love every inch of it." 

She brings a hand down between your bodies as she settles back down, using it to cup your center. Your head pushes further back into the pillows, taking one last moment of reprieve in this calm before the storm. The dangerous look in her eyes excites you, though, and probably more than it should. 

But her body's warm against you and humming with the passion she's kept bottled away for the past two years, and that's all you really care about. It almost radiates from her when she's near you, like some kind of beautiful enchantment. 

You've had her enraptured since the day you met… and some things just never change.

"I've craved you more than anything else in my life, Y/N," she says, unwavering and true. "And this time without you has been the worst." Her lips press to your cheek in a gentle embrace, lessening the sting of the reminder of your time apart. 

"But we're here now, and I'm going to make up for every second we lost. I promise." 

She seals her declaration with another kiss, and her body busies itself with its mortal purpose: pleasing you. 

----

Three Hours Later, In Bed

You awake slowly, to the howling of distant wolves. Their high pitched cries carry for miles in every direction, aided by the slopes and dips of the mountains. Moonlight streams in through the patio windows, reflecting off of the table outside to create a shimmery myriad of colors wherever it falls.

Jisoo lays next to you on her side, her limbs outstretched and splayed across your body. Her relaxed breaths warm your shoulder, consistent and calm, and for a moment you let yourself just be. 

The burdens you were carrying before all seem lighter now, as you just lie here with her. In this room, it's just the two of you; the world can't touch you. Her demanding father is miles away; the brands that she'll be representing in the morning don't exist. You're lightyears away from your boring job and everything else that's worked to keep you apart. 

Here, it's just you. Here, the only thing you have to wonder about is where you end and she begins. 

The quiet coos she makes in her sleep comfort you and give you a glimpse back into what life used to be like with her. When you shift, intending to alleviate some of the strain on your aching muscles, she instinctively tightens her hold on you. It's something that might not seem significant to others, but you understand the weight of it immediately; even when she's unconscious, she wants you next to her. She doesn't want you to slip away again, and it saddens you immensely that she even has to worry about that in the first place. 

"I'm not going anywhere, my love." You whisper delicately, as a promise. She hums lowly at that, her voice full of the sultry tones that sleep always brings on, and you smile.

She nuzzles into you, and you kiss her temple as you hold her tight. 

--

A Little Later

When Jisoo is pulled from the sweet embrace of sleep, it's far less pleasant than what you experienced. 

Her eyes open to darkness, and the bed beside her is cold. Empty. Void of you or any evidence that you had even occupied the space at all. 

She sits up with a start, fumbling to brush her hair away from her face and look around the room. Her discarded clothes lay in a neatly folded pile at the end of the bed, reassuring her at the very least that she didn't dream up your reunion; you were really there at some point. 

The lamp flickers on a minute later, and she swings her legs over the side of the bed. Her eyes fall down to her body, finding splashes of red and purple hickeys everywhere; she blushes slightly at the memories that play in her mind, but she pushes them away shortly after. 

If you really did leave after everything, she could never forgive you. 

She strides across the room towards her closet, where she retrieves the complimentary silk robe that the resort leaves for guests. She slides it on, sighing slightly at the coolness it provides. 

Just as she finishes tying it and hastily pads her way towards the door, opening it in a rush, she's greeted by a sight that has all of her fears dissipating just as quickly as they came on. 

"One way ticket," you sing into the handle of a spatula, dressed solely in one of Jisoo's hoodies and your underwear. You adjust the heat on the stove, where you're warming some milk to make hot chocolate. 

Still oblivious to her presence, you wave to an imaginary crowd and smile at your band before singing again. "One way ticket, one way ticket to the blues!"

She leans against the hallway wall, smiling to herself at how adorable you are. Your hair is pulled back in a messy bun, you're barefoot, and you're half dressed. 

You have no intention of leaving her again, and that fact slowly makes its way to her brain. She feels her final defenses lowering when you spin around, enjoying yourself. 

"Gonna take a trip--"

Your eyes land on her shadowy figure halfway through the line, leaving you with little else to do but scream bloody murder in shock. 

She gasps as you tumble to the ground in a heap, and she's quick to chase after you. 

"You scared the hell out of me!" A groan rumbles in your throat as you begin to stand on your already exhausted legs, sore and embarrassed that she caught you. 

"I'm sorry," she mitigates, holding her arm out for you to grab. You take it with a halfhearted glare, but use it nonetheless. 

"I was making hot cocoa for us, until you interrupted," you grumble, turning towards the stove again. She purses her lips, attempting to keep from grinning at your antics. 

"Really?" She acts, feigning confusion as she slides up behind you. Your breath hitches when her hands find their way beneath the hoodie, running dangerously close to your breasts. 

"Jisoo…"

She kisses down your neck tantalizingly, reminding you of the night you shared. As her robe opens slightly, her bare thigh grazes the back of yours. "Because it looked to me like my rockstar girlfriend was putting on quite the show." 

You pause, not moving. She seems to notice her slip up as well, and her head falls forward against your shoulder. A grimace crosses her face; she's sure she just messed all this up.

"Y/N--"

"Girlfriend?" You ask curiously, though you try to conceal your wishfulness. She looks away when you switch the burner off and turn around, eyes on her. 

"Look at me, please." 

Her fingers fiddle with the ends of her sleeves, but she eventually gains the courage to do as you ask. 

The moonlight sparkles in here, too, as it cascades in through the frosted bay windows. Small deposits of ice and snow sit in the corners of them, like silent witnesses of your interaction. They watch with anticipation, just the same as you. 

"I was thinking we could try again, you know?" 

Her voice is timid in the face of such a daunting proposition, especially given your history, but she stands tall. In a way, it feels like asking you out all over again.

"I'd love that, Chu." 

Your ensuing smile melts her heart, and she breathes a breath of relief. She steps forward and wraps her arms around you, falling into your embrace. You hold her tight, making her feel secure not only physically, but also in her emotions. 

She sways gently with you in the moonlight, leaving stray kisses against your collarbone every so often. 

After a few minutes like this, you remember your purpose for leaving the warmth of her bed in the first place. Hot cocoa. 

"How about this, jagi," you say, leaning back slightly to look into her eyes. "You go grab a blanket for us, and I'll finish making our drinks. Then we can go stargaze on the patio." 

She nods happily, and plants a lingering kiss to your cheek before sauntering away. 

You bite your lip as you switch the heat back on, shaking your head in disbelief. If someone had told you that this is how the trip would leave you, you never would've believed them. It's a miracle, truly, and you'll be thanking your lucky stars the second you step outside.

--

"Two hot chocolates, incoming!" You announce, keeping the steaming mugs steady in your hands. The patio door is open enough for you to easily slip out and join her. 

Instead of just her, though, which would be more than enough for you, you see that she's lit an array of candles and placed them around the patio. They create a romantic ambience for the two of you, and the view that you have to go along with them is something out of a dream. 

"Jisoo, this is…. Wow." 

The stars twinkle in the sky, high above it all as they keep watch. Their constellations show vividly, like they're waking up to say hello. So too is the village below, stretching out left and right. Wooden welcome signs groan and creak as the wind pushes against them, whispers of greeting coming from their oak posts.

The golden lamps that you saw upon arrival earlier now burn even brighter, sitting in the windows of stores and houses and hanging high in the protective cases of the street lamps. It's a tender thing, yet their light adds a vibrance of life to the village despite the late hour. 

Jisoo's hands are clasped behind her back, a shy smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Do you like it?" 

"I love it," you assure her, setting the mugs down on the table. "And I love you." 

Her smile widens at that, much to your relief, and she steps towards you. Happiness is the only thing on her face as she takes your hands and invites you to sit down with her.

"I love you, too, Y/N. So much," she says, almost dreamily. "I'm really glad I decided to come on this trip." 

You agree, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "That woman's message was true, then." 

"Yeah," she sighs, grinning as you hand her her drink and settle in next to her, wrapping the blanket around both of your bodies. Although the patio is heated, the blanket serves as another layer of warmth and a way to bring you even closer to one another.

"And I'm really happy it was." 

You hum at that and grab your drink, clinking the side of the mug against hers in celebration. 

"To us," she declares proudly, eyes shining with love and every other emotion you make her feel. 

"To us," you repeat, beaming all the same. You take a sip and peek out at the mountains over the rim, watching the stark white snow accumulate. It paints everything in sight with its powdery magic, from the hills and slopes to the village homes. Layers of it continue to build upon each other, pillowy and soft with every new flake.

It's creating the perfect conditions for everything the girls mentioned doing while you're here, and a knowing smile shows on your face as you realize something. 

You have the perfect opportunity to invite Jisoo to come along for your plans and right some of your wrongs in the process. She and the girls can all heal from the damage caused, and you can have the honor of seeing that happen. 

It's not often that such a privilege is awarded to people, and you don't plan to take it lightly. 

So you hold Jisoo a little tighter, a little closer, here and now, to show her how much she means. You'll do everything you can to atone for the mistakes you made and take away her future burdens for as long as she'll allow you, always. 

It's just the promise you make, because for you, no matter what, it'll always be her. 

With her, things are never really over.

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Songs that inspired me:

"Where's My Love" - SYML

"Fear Of The Water" - SYML

"One Way Ticket" - Eruption