Kitxkatrp - Tumblr Posts

His masters curiosity seemed suspicious. He highly doubted Levi actually cared about why he was stressed. He's probably just looking for entertainment, but since he wants to know he might as well answer.

"Well... as it gets closer to me becoming Glen my workload has become more difficult than usual..." It wasn't really a lie his workload really had become more difficult. Which wasn't surprising he knew as time went on that things would get harder, but His main reason for being stressed was knowing he was going to kill Lacie, and there was nothing he could do about it...

Telling his master this would be pointless though.

Stressed? "Oh?" That wasn't news to him, actually, but he acted like it was. He was far more observant than most gave him credit for. And usually, it was only for his own enjoyment rather than for any useful reason, but well...

"I suppose I can hear you out this once." He leaned his chin on his open palm, staring at Oswald expectedly.

He was already tired and didn't feel like going out. So, when Jack offered that they go out to get a drink he was going to refuse, but then he thought maybe a drink would be good, it might calm his nerves a bit.

"I am calm..." He wasn't actually calm. He had been in a foul mood all day, and Jack telling him to calm down only pissed him off even more.

"I don't want to be a hit with the ladies, and I'm not going to smile."

let's go before i change my mind! (Jack)

A delighted laugh. "Calm down, calm down--it's just a drink. No need to take it so seriously, my friend." Jack responded with a smile, following Glen as he made his way out the door. "You might be a hit with the ladies there if you smile a little~"

"It's okay..." He brushed his thumb across her cheek wiping the tears away. He hated seeing her this upset...

"Even if Vincent tears Oz apart I'm sure I could get someone to sew him back together for you, don't worry." It probably wasn't the most reassuring thing to say, but he didn't want to give her false hope and say Oz would come back in one piece.

"P-Please..." How rare for her to act like this, even to her own Uncle. She reached out and gently grabbed his sleeve, eyes welling up with more tears. "I don't want anything to happen to Oz...he's my friend..."

Her best friend, her only true friend...

He looked pathetic with his tear-stained face. Crying all because he was lonely, and couldn't deal with the weight of being Glen. He wasn't a child anymore. He shouldn't be upset by such trivial things.

The moment he heard Jack's voice he quickly tried to wipe the tears away, but it was too late to try and maintain dignity. Jack had already noticed. This was embarrassing...he didn't want anyone to see him l like this, especially his friend.

"It's nothing..." It was an obvious lie, but he didn't know what to say. He didn't want to burden him with his problems.

😭 to find my muse crying. (Jack)

"...Glen...?" Jack definitely expect to find his friend crying under that tree he loved to sit under. Even the birds seemed to want to cheer him up, but they flew off when Jack approached.

"What's...what's wrong?" He asked, feeling completely out of his element. It was one thing when it was a maiden that he didn't know well crying. He could give pretty words, fake smiles and flattering and she would be okay.

But this was Glen. Oswald. That was different.

Oswald was slightly relieved it wasn't about Lacie. The last time he brought her up he was saying nonsense about wanting to bring her back.

But if it wasn't about her then what was the problem? What were these memories that seemed to be tormenting him? He had questions, but now wasn't the time to ask. He needed Jack to calm down first.

He slowly got up off the bed, and walked towards him. "Jack..." He reached out, but then drew his hand back unsure if he should touch him. "It's alright...here come sit down." He knew his words weren't entirely helpful, and he wasn't sure if Jack was even listening. He just hoped that the gentleness of his voice might help to soothe him at least a little.

Jack had been very reluctant at all to bring her up since that day in the tower. That was the day he had realized that there was no getting out of his plan, that Glen wouldn't help him no matter how much he begged, that they weren't in this together like they were supposed to be.

He swallowed thickly and his arms were shaking a little. After a moment, he shook his head.

"Not...exactly....no." He paused to take a deep breath. "I just...some memories...they're...in the back of my head. Like...they're playing back over and over. And I...never...had anyone to ask for help."

He clenched his jaw tight, trying to hold in the desperation tinged voice he threatened to make.

"B-But...this is what a friend is for, right? When you have a friend, you're...you're supposed to--right? That's what--"

He was starting to hyperventilate.

"I know..." He knew she wasn't going to stop worrying about him even though he wished she wouldn't.

A drink that's warm and toasty? That sounded nice, although she wasn't very specific on what kind of drink or where she wanted him to bring her. He wished his sister would be a little less vague. It was like he was playing a constant guessing game with her. "Where would you like me to bring you?"

It could be different, if they hadn't accepted it. There were so many things that could be different. There was nothing to stop her from just leaving, no physical force keeping her there. There was nothing keeping Oswald here either, except of course, that they were told this was their destiny.

It was a twisted situation, one that could have so many solutions if they chose to fight it.

She knew they wouldn't.

"I will always worry about you." One of the only people that she dared to worry about. That certainly wouldn't change, even if he was going to take her life with his own hand.

"Nii-sama, I want to drink something warm and toasty. Can you bring me somewhere?"

He was glad Jack had calmed down a bit, although he was still shaking.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm his own nerves. This was starting to get frustrating; Jack was his friend, and he had no idea how to help him. He just wished he knew what was wrong...

He opened his eyes, walked over, and sat next to Jack. He usually didn't sit this close to anyone, so he was a bit uncomfortable. He debated moving away, but decided against it. Fearing that if he did Jack might think he didn't want to be around him.

He opened his mouth, but then shut it. He wanted to say something, but what should he say? He thought about asking more questions, but he wasn't sure if he should. Questions seemed to upset him more, and he didn't want to pressure him into talking about it if he didn't want to.

He sat there for a few minutes not saying a word. Fidgeting with his hands, glancing at Jack every now and then. It was hard to look at him...seeing him shake like that. It made his heart ache...

He placed his hand on his back, moving it back and forth in a gentle motion. He was still a bit uncomfortable with the closeness, but none of that mattered right now. His main goal was to comfort Jack in any way he could.

"If you want to talk I'll listen, but it's alright if you don't."

It was difficult for him to explain. Not only had he never had anyone to listen to him before, no one had ever gotten that close, but he had never given in to that urge to be /listened to/ in the first place.

Until now.

Glen approached him and Jack swallowed thickly, feeling cold shivers go down his spine. He saw that hand hesitate and for some reason, he felt even more alien and far away than he ever had.

"O-Okay..." He managed and stumbled over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. He was still shaking pretty hard and a cold sweat had settled on his face. He probably looked a mess.

But this was more help than anyone had ever given him.

And it was in this moment that he realized that he didn't /want/ to kill Glen. He didn't want to do it. He just...wanted...

What did he want?

Glen lowered his eyes when he knelt down. He was too ashamed to look at him.

As Jack was speaking his eyes began to burn again, he swallowed hard trying his best to fight against it. He didn't understand why he was being so nice to him. He should be telling him to get it together or laughing at him. Not offering to stay and listen...it was too much. He didn't deserve this.

"You don't need to do that..." His voice shook a little, which only added to his shame. He prayed his nose wasn't dripping...he already looked pathetic enough. "I'm alright...really." As he said this the tears he was previously holding back fell.

To say that he didn't believe him to be an understatement. Jack was well versed with Glen by now--he knew full well that crying for no reason wasn't something that Glen did, especially not where others might find him.

He took a step forward and knelt down to be at eye level with him. As someone who never had a genuine connection that wasn't forced on his part, he wasn't all that knowledgeable in this area, but...

"I won't tell anyone," he reassured him, "and...I'll listen if you want to talk, and if you don't I'll just sit here with you. Will you at least let me do that?"

"For my own sake I think I shouldn't get used to them." He muttered. He was getting tired of Jack always telling him to get used to social gatherings. Being in crowds only made his head pound. Why should he get used to that?

Oswald followed after him, however he did so with a little less enthusiasm.

"Why would people go to a play just to criticize it?" He didn't understand why someone would want to do that. It seemed like a waste of time. Even with the last play he had seen he didn't spend his time criticizing it (although it deserved it,) he just quietly suffered until the end.

"If this play turns out like the last one... I'm leaving early."

He could see the other's interest perking up. A cheerful smile plastered on his lips as he made a gesture with his arm. "Then, let us go! Do try to keep an open mind, my friend. I know social gatherings and stuff aren't really your thing, but you should get used to them. For your own sake."

He would take the lead for now.

A bounce in his step, he led his way to a carriage. "Even if you don't enjoy the play itself, you can enjoy criticizing it. Sometimes I feel like people have more fun with that part than actually watching the play~"

Jack's relationship with plays with a bit different. In a way, he felt like he was watching himself up on the stage. An actor. He identified with those people on a personal level, which is why he went to watch them.

The moment his master leaned forward he kept his eyes on the table. Levi's gaze always made him uncomfortable.

"The socializing...mainly." He hated that part most of all. He had no interest in other people. They were selfish, obnoxious, cruel...kind of like his master.

Although he knew they weren't all bad. He just didn't feel like digging through the garbage to get to the good ones.

Telling Levi anything about his personal struggles was pointless really--he wasn't the type to be sympathetic, or even care about others besides what he could get out of them. Oswald was useful for his role in being his successor, which was why Levi had raised him and Lacie.

"Getting cold feet, are you?" He leaned in a little over the table, those amethyst eyes seemingly boring into Oswald.

"What exactly about it is difficult for you? All of it? Or only the socializing parts?"

"I haven't been...but you don't need to worry about me." He never liked it when people worried about him. Lacie used to worry about him all the time...even when he asked her not to.

It was true he hadn't been sleeping. Every time he would try his mind would start racing. He should've figured Charlotte would've been the first to notice. He didn't understand why she was asking though. It wasn't like she could do anything about it. Unless she knew a way to calm his nerves?

She was honestly glad that she could be of use to him in some way, shape or form. Though he was her Master, sometimes she wished she could be his friend. But that wouldn't be proper, would it?

Still, he looked like he could use a friend. She had Fang and Doug, but who did Glen-sama have besides Jack?

....

"Glen-sama...if I may..." She paused a moment and nervously fidgeted with her hands. "Have you not been sleeping? You look so tired..."

"Well, you need to pay more attention. You nearly gave me a heart attack." He was still pretty shaken up by what just happened, and he didn't understand how Jack had bounced back so quickly. As if nearly falling out a window was a regular occurrence.

To others it might seem like he was overreacting, but he just wished Jack would be more careful. Even though he knows there is something off about him he still considers him a friend, and doesn't want anything to happen to him.

"Oh...yes my master would've probably found it amusing..." He didn't really want to think about how the situation would've turned out had his master been there instead. Levi was a very cruel and twisted man...

Of course, Jack was never honest with what he was feeling. Most of the shaking was something else entirely, rather than shock from the near fall.

He was stunned that he had felt that fear in the first place. It had been so many years since he had felt anything like that. It was difficult for him to feel anything, almost like a complete and total dissociation from any sense of self or personality outside of mimicking, but...

"...." A smile crossed his lips. "Sorry. I...was thinking about something and wasn't paying attention." A little 'embarrassed' flush crossed his cheeks and he took a step away from Oswald.

"I suppose if Glen saw me, he probably would've let me fall, wouldn't he?" Levi was...not as kind as Oswald.

And Lacie probably would've laughed in his face, but he didn't focus on that too much.

Oswald put his head in his hands. Why did he say anything...he should've just stayed quiet like he always did. It was foolish to think that telling Levi he didn't like being teased was going to make him stop. No, that only made it worse....

Now he was just sitting at the table listening to his master's nonsense, wondering how he was supposed to respond. Nothing Levi was saying made any sense.

Taking his head out of his hands he glanced at his master. Yep, he still has that stupid grin plastered on his face. Looking back down again he decided to speak. "Do you say nothing when people insult you?"

Oswald's assessment was unfortunately accurate. Right from the start, meeting this version of Glen Baskerville was nothing but a misfortune to most. He hardly cared for anyone or anything around him, except for the enjoyment he could get out of his surroundings and the suffering of other people.

This would have some unfortunate consequences down the line--

"If someone teases or insults you, you have to stay 'calm', not say nothing. You're twisting my words because you're upset." He jabbed his finger into the wound yet again. "If you show you're visibly upset, like you're doing now--" A smirk crossed his lips.

"Then my dear Oswald, you're nothing but an easy target, prime for picking. Do you understand?"

"That isn't very nice, Alice....Gilbert hasn't done anything to you." He wasn't entirely sure if she was serious about kicking Gilbert or just saying this cause she was upset. Either way he wanted to make sure she understood that kind of behavior wasn't okay.

"I understand you want to teach Vincent a lesson, but being mean back isn't going to solve anything."

While her Sister had always been more distrustful of Glen, Alice had so many fond memories of him already. She might not say it out loud, but she trusted him, and she instinctively leaned into the comfort.

"If he tears Oz apart I'm going to kick Gilbert until he can't walk. That'll teach that mean Vincent a lesson."

No Alice you can't do that, Gilbert did nothing to you.

@kitxkatrp : Boop meme from Alice ( sorry I'm on mobile )

"What was that for?" He's genuinely confused at why Alice would boop him.

That wasn't the response he was expecting he thought Jack would be happy to hear he considered him a friend. "Why shouldn't I..." This was awkward now. Maybe they weren't friends after all. "Don't you feel that way about me?"

"You're my best friend." (Jack)

He knew this. He /had/ known this. But why did it feel so...wrong..to hear it from Glen's lips?

"You shouldn't feel that way," why did that just come out of his mouth? His cheeks bloomed pink from horror and he turned and tried to hide the look on his face.

More and more he was thinking that he couldn't do this.

He was relieved that Jack had agreed. He thought at first he was going to lecture him on how socializing is good for him or remind him that there were important things he needed to do and shouldn't leave. Which would've of just upset him further.

The gentle squeeze to his shoulder was unexpected, but surprisingly comforting...

"I should've never came to begin with..." He walked next to Jack as they made their way out. The important things he needed to do didn't matter at this point, he just wanted to go home.

"Just take me home." (Jack)

He knew that he shouldn't agree. Glen had a lot of things he was supposed to be here for, but he looked so upset that Jack couldn't deny him.

"All right," he reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. "Come on, lets go back. I'll go with you."

He would hear about it, he was sure, but....

He always knew something was wrong with Jack; he just never knew what. When they first met he found him disgusting because he couldn't see his true nature. Which always made him feel uneasy, but now listening to him say his own mother called him creepy and that he felt he needed to hide his true self behind a mask...it made him feel sorry for him.

As Jack spoke about Lacie he started to understand how he had became so obsessed with her. For Lacie their meeting probably meant nothing, but to him it was everything. Honestly, he couldn't blame him... if he was in his shoes he probably would've felt the same way.

Jack's feelings were messy and confusing. It was like looking at abstract art, but there was nothing beautiful about it.

"Jack..." He wanted to say more when he saw the tears in his eyes, but Jack had already started speaking again before he could.

Oswald had asked Lacie once what she would do if Jack loved her, but she told him Jack didn't love her or anyone. He always wondered how she came to that conclusion because he never thought that was the case. He always thought he did love her...if he was truly indifferent he wouldn't have continued coming around. So, he must have felt something for her. Even if he didn't understand those feelings himself.

He started to feel guilt well up inside him when he mentioned Lacie’s death, and how it made him feel empty. He caused this...she was the most important person to Jack, and he killed her. To caught up in his own grief He never even bothered to check on him. He just assumed he would kill himself and never return to the manor, but when he did return he knew something was off...but he ignored it. He allowed his best friend to suffer in silence.

He blinked back tears as Jack continued speaking, but those tears soon dried up; the moment he mentioned bringing Lacie back. What did he mean he's been trying anyway, and what did Miranda have to do with this? He didn't know what Jack was talking about, but he didn't like where this was going. He took a deep breath trying to keep himself composed. He needed to handle this calmly. Surely Jack wasn't planning anything too crazy...

He was relieved that Jack said he didn't need Lacie to feel, but that didn't stop the fact that he had questions on what his plan was.

"What do mean you've been trying anyway, and exactly how were you planning to hand me over to Miranda?"

He felt like an alien in this moment. And he knew, he couldn't do this. Miranda might make him her target, but when Glen was telling him this...he knew he absolutely could not do this.

"...I've...never been able to feel properly." He finally managed, two hands raised up towards his face as he struggled to keep that manic look inside. "Mother....called me creepy...so I...learned to put on a mask and pretend I felt things. I could smile, but I felt nothing. That is...until I ran away from home and I....met Lacie."

He swallowed thickly, covering his face with his hands. His cheeks were flushed from a shame he almost wished he didn't feel. "She changed me. She acknowledged me, she tried to help me, even in her own way. It was the first time anyone had looked at me and saw me and...when she disappeared from my life I had trouble finding that again...so I started to hate her...but I was so happy because those feelings were mine."

A pause, tears were welling up in his eyes. "When I met Lacie again and I met you...I was happy...I think. I was still struggling, I don't really know...if what I felt was love or not for her...it's really confusing. I've never known that feeling in my life, so I couldn't identify it even if you asked me too. But I think that's what it was. Because when you said she was dead, I felt so empty..."

His hands fell from his face to wrap around his own waist.

"So empty...emptier than I've ever felt. The one person that acknowledged me was gone. That's why...I wanted to bring her back....but you said...so I..."

He was suddenly shaking all over.

"I've been trying.....anyway. Even though I knew the end result would hurt you....and I just...I can't do it. I can't give you to Miranda. Even if it means you hate me. Even if it means you never speak to me again. Because when I spent time with you I started to feel again. And I...realized that I don't need Lacie to feel like I thought."

"Surviving off of hatred?" He said to himself. He knew there were people like that, but the concept was still hard to wrap his head around. He never understood people who were hateful...so, the idea of someone surviving off it made no sense.

He noticed the serious expression on his friend's face, Wondering why there was a sudden change in mood, but he decided not to question it too much.

"I suppose I do think people like that are pitiful..." He was going to say he found people like that disgusting, but Jack provided him with a far better word. "What do you think of those people?"

A little exasperated smile -- Jack knew better than to truly argue with Oswald when he made up his mind. He was one of the most stubborn people Jack had ever met.

...He probably shouldn't say that to his face though.

He climbed into the carriage and sat across from Oswald as they set off. "People tend to thrive off of those negative experiences and feelings...some people even survive off of hatred."

His smile slowly left him, a sudden serious expression on his face.

"Tell me...what do you think about people like that? Are they pitiful?"

/Am I pitiful?/

"

Hearing that Miranda was obsessed with him made him terribly uncomfortable. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know what she was planning on doing with him. He would have to deal with her later.

What was he supposed to say to all that? He didn't know what to think. Should he forgive him? Should he even believe him? Jack's mind was truly warped...

He wanted to be angry, and in way he was, but mainly he was hurt. He didn't want to believe his best and only friend was plotting against him the whole time. What about all those times they spent together...what was Jack thinking during all of that? He says his feelings were genuine, but were they? How could he be so sure...

Tears were starting to stream down his own face. This was too much. Being friends with Jack had made him so happy...happier than he'd ever been. He thought he wasn't alone anymore. That there was a person who finally understood him, but it was all a lie.

"How do you know... those feelings were genuine?" His voice was quiet and shaky. "What if those feelings leave...then what will you do?"

It wasn't that Jack necessarily wanted Glen to feel sorry for him. No, even he knew he didn't deserve that much. More, in a sad way, he was hoping that Glen might find some way to forgive him if he just explained.

He knew he didn't deserve it, but...

He wasn't looking forward to going back to that emptiness. Arthur would have a lot of questions, that is if Miranda didn't kill him out of spite against Jack before the authorities got ahold of her.

"Miranda...she promised to help me. We thought...if we could open up the Abyss...then....this world that Lacie loved so much...she would be able to experience it again...even briefly...but...Miranda is,...obsessed with you. She wanted....you...and that was the price I had to pay for any help. I knew it was wrong and I was desperate and I know you won't forgive me, but I can't do it. Because even if it was brief, these feelings of being your friend...were genuine, and that means a lot to me even if it doesn't continue anymore."

He felt physically sick.

He brought a hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face.

"I was so desperate...to get that feeling back...I guess I really turned into a disgusting person. I'm not worthy of your forgiveness."

And in a way, he knew that this isn't what Lacie would have wanted. He just didn't want to acknowledge it.