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“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that God has established clear standards of morality for His children, who are accountable before Him for their behavior. Such standards cannot be changed by the reasoning, emotions, personal interests, or opinions of mortal beings.”
An angel, you say!? Well that’s very impressive, sir, and may I just say it’s an honor to have you come all the way to give a message to little ol’ me. A real honor, sir! I just gotta shake your hand! Wow! A real angel! But you know, I gotta admit, personally, I don’t know the first thing about angels…no, it’s true! I couldn’t tell you the difference between a cherubim or a seraphim to save my life. But my wife, though, she’s real keen on angels. We were actually just talking about it the other night, isn’t that a coincidence…where was I? Oh, yes, my wife, you see, my wife was telling me that angels aren’t all that complicated, not complicated at all. Basically there are really only two groups, see? Well, there’s two kinds of being in heaven, you see, The first group are Angels. Apparently they’re the ones who are…uh…what’s the word….oh, yeah! Resurrected personages! They got bodies of, uh, flesh and bone. So you can, you know, reach out and touch them. The second group, see, the second group, they’re spirits of the just made perfect, but they haven’t been resurrected yet. They don’t have bodies, so if you tried to touch them, you wouldn’t feel anything! Now, and here’s the real interesting part, blew my mind when I heard it, well, I guess it shouldn’t have, it makes a lot of sense when you think about it, but, see, heavenly messengers can’t be deceptive. It’s contrary to the order of heaven, you see, for a just man to deceive. So, if you ask a messenger from heaven to, say, shake your hand, either they’ll take your hand and you’ll feel it, because they’re a resurrected being with flesh and bone and all that, or, if they’re just a spirit, they’ll say “no thank you” and deliver their message. Well I’m sure you knew all this already, and I’m sure you’re very busy, sir, I apologize for keeping you.
Oh, one more thing: it’s the craziest thing, but it’s gonna keep me up all night… remember when I shook your hand earlier? And you grabbed my hand? Why do you think I couldn’t feel your hand in mine?
Whenever someone tells me I'm going to hell for being a Mormon, I like to remember that we do have a plan for if we're all wrong:
And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it.
-Joseph Smith Jr
So basically, if hell is real and we're all going there, the plan is to beat the sh*t out of Satan and start planting community gardens.
It is my deep Mormon heritage that compels me to want to disrupt the current political system so much that a Missouri politician openly calls for my death.