Leonardo Being Leonardo - Tumblr Posts
Hi Aqua! May I request a fic about Comte being stuck in traffic behind Leonardo who has fallen asleep during the wait?
Thank you @atelieredux for another hysterical request (this will take me a while to type out as I will laugh like a crazy lady while typing)
The One Where Leonardo Fell Asleep at the Wheel
Mozart: (bangs head against passenger window, groaning) How long is this dreadful traffic going to be? Comte: Be patient, Mozart. It hasn't been that long. Isaac: (holds out his watch) Are you kidding me? By my calculations, it has been.... Napoleon: (snores from the backseat) Jean: (monotone) It's been forever. Comte: Let's look on the bright side. We're all together on this cross-country trip. Jean: I never asked to come on a trip. Comte: (ignores Jean) It won't be much longer.
***ten minutes later***
Jean: Not much longer, huh? Comte: We moved.... Napoleon: (snores) Isaac: Yea, a millimeter. Maybe. Mozart: (groans)
***fifteen more minutes later***
Mozart: (peering through windshield) Do my eyes deceive me? Are the cars moving? Jean: Yes, every car but ours. Comte: Give the driver a moment. We've been stopped in traffic for so long.
***five more minutes later***
Jean: Exactly how long will it take for this driver to move? Comte: ..... Mozart: Why isn't this car in front of us moving? Comte: ..... Isaac: Maybe their car broke down? Comte: .... Napoleon: (snoring) Comte: .... Jean: Honk the horn. Comte: Honking won't help. Comte: (glares at car in front of his) Mozart: What's his problem?
*****
Vincent: The traffic is finally moving! Theo: That's great, but who's waking him up? (points at Leonardo asleep in the driver's seat) Dazai: Not me. Arthur: Don't look at me. Theo: (looks at Arthur) Arthur: I'm not sitting next to him. Dazai is sitting up front. Dazai: I already pulled his ear and poked him. Nothing worked. Arthur: Someone has to wake him up, we can't sit like this forever. Theo: (screams) LEONARDO! Leonardo: (snores) Theo: (shrugs) I tried. Vincent: (starts to open his door) I'll drive. Theo: (pulls Vincent back) You don't know how to drive. Vincent: Oh, that's right. Leonardo: (snores louder) Dazai: What if we kick him?
*****
Mozart: (groans) Jean: I told you all, a road trip was a horrible, horrible idea. And we have no marorons left. Isaac: Does the car in front of us look familiar to anyone else? Comte: (silently fumes in his seat) Napoleon: (finally awake) Do you know who's in that car, Comte? Comte: (revs engine) Leonardo...