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Letter on; The Tortured Poets Dept.

Dear Chairman,

On the morning of its release, I woke up at 4.44am (I am a UK Swiftie so it came out at 5am).  I opened up my notes app pressed play and became transfixed, utterly speechless for 13 minutes it wasn’t until 'Down Bad' that I fully regained consciousness in the universe. It was an otherworldly experience that I cannot summarise in words I am not a literary expert tbh*.

The album ended, I had cried and screamed, cheered and awoken my entire household. My friends woke, listened and I relistened to the chairman’s confessional masterpiece once again. On second listen I actually was able to process the first three songs, and I was listening to a favourite ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ when at 7.17am, sat on the sofa in my uniform, I saw the release of the anthology. I looked to my brother, on call with the ‘loml’ and cried. I pressed play on The Black Dog as tears fell involuntarily down my face. I continued to literally hyperventilate to the point of an anxiety attack until ‘How Did It End?’. I immediately felt drawn to it. Pulled into the cyclical melody and incomparable lyrics. This song, to me, proved the total power of this album.  It is so real, so individual but entirely universal. As a teenaged lesbian, I honestly could not be further from the audience for this song, I have never been in love or fallen from it but the simple imagery of a miscommunication, misunderstanding and loss.

She makes me feel it, makes me feel present. That. She is the power I want to support and defend forever. I was barely alive; I didn’t live and I didn’t want to. Now I want the love in ‘So High School’, I want the suffering in ‘The Prophecy’ and I don’t want to just ‘Look In People’s Windows’.

Thank you for reading my soliloquy. I hate it here a little less and I love you, religiously.

Sincerely, em x

@taylorswift @taylornation