Lightcreators - Tumblr Posts
Jack had arrived earlier that day to visit and stayed far longer than Oswald was expecting. He didn't really understand why Jack had decided to prolong his stay, but he didn't really mind. It was nice having a bit of company. It was already dark out, and they had been relaxing in one of the sitting rooms.
Wood was crackling in the fireplace, however He still felt slightly cold. He didn't bother to get up and grab a blanket; instead he remained seated staring out the window. It had been snowing all day, but he wasn't really interested in the scenery...his mind was elsewhere at the moment. Jack and him had been talking about various things, mostly trivial, but now their conversation had shifted into something a bit more serious. He didn't know why he had revealed that he broke in silence. It wasn't information Jack needed to know, but he couldn't take it back now...
He glanced over at Jack waiting for him to start laughing at him, but the laughter never came. Instead Jack offered him a smile...not a mocking smile, but one that expressed sympathy. He shifted a bit in his seat and averted his eyes he didn't want Jack to feel sorry for him....he didn't think he deserved Jack's sympathy. He didn't think he deserved anyone's sympathy...
Jack was right... there were people who cared about him, and the one person who cared about him the most would die at his hand.
The room was starting to feel a bit warmer now. Jack's words were starting to make him severely uncomfortable. Even though he wasn't saying anything bad...he still wasn't so sure. Should he let Jack be his shoulders in the darkness? What if he became a burden to him? He was going to become Glen soon shouldn't he deal with things on his own...
"No...I shouldn't trouble you with my problems..." It was better for him to deal with things alone. That way he wouldn't bother anyone. "Just forget I said anything."
@gloomy-glen
Feelings were a domain in which sadly for everyone he had no measure --- for little experience of something called an emotion could be experienced within his persona. For sure, inside another time period, back when he was envious of all the noblesse realm could brought upon people meanwhile he was an outcast, when he was searching hopelessly acceptance somewhere and blamed circumstances concerning his birth who locked an entire world to his doorsteps, he had partial remembrances to have experienced that same state. Though, memories stayed very away, within that distance when he couldn’t catch them, in which even smaller recollections left him emotionless at best. Maybe, during that time, fragments of his heart could have been saved --- or maybe always had been damned to becoming a silent executioner of the world who found no real interest into it for deciding, all by himself, to deciding how the clock should turn, regardless if it was against all laws. Did it was matter by the end of the day? Did his actions will troubling whatever sleep he might have? Did he would express apologies within his bored consideration of the world he was living? No. Question wasn’t directly asked, but did he was troubled concerning Lacie? Did he had these deranging emotions of guilt about what he repeatedly exposed to him, meanwhile he refused to believe someday he would lose her to some Abyss and was fated of disappearance? He didn’t have to listen to the Will of the Abyss. Actually, he didn’t cared about the Abyss’s needs, whatever how off world dimension it remained screaming of loneliness, when determination remained to giving that dimension all wrong in one manner of another. Taking revenge in same manner eventually he managed to achieve it in middle of noblesse spheres.
Though, within sympathetic smile he was expressing, inside manipulative move to bring reassurance, casual brightness resonated an couple of seconds … before somewhere boredom of the mask seemed to briefly expose, when green eyes illuminated with seriousness. Internally, a mocking condescending sigh was swallowed back as easily it was come. ❝ You have people who care about your well-being you know. How sad your expression must be, fulfilled inside your thoughts, and must of course to be perceived by people around you. ❞ Meanwhile he was talking, he was remembering himself all always serious his father’s look had been towards him, how heaviness between them each other was echoing each instant. How he had been embraced by the nice sentiment of hatred in middle of balls, and various noble reunions, when every time his smile sparked with more illumination, when every time he was swallowing back negative emotions wrapped his own being. How impression of victory he gained concerning his own life had been robbed by the light of his existence. Oh, so many people within nobles were worried each time his expression diverged of usual brightness, or even remained uncomfortable by his somewhere lack of consideration by remaining smiling even in serious conversations … It was so pleasant. It was nice flattery. All these women thinking he could be a private prince charming … All the nobles anchoring themselves towards how illuminated he sensed to be. They were boring. ❝ I have experienced what you’re currently experiencing right now, and I can be your shoulders in the darkness if you want~❞ It was the closeness of the truth he will allow himself to say. ❝ People will notice how different you are, hence you need a valuable fire’s candle for avoid anything tarnish your family name. ❞