Lily Evans X Fem!reader - Tumblr Posts

AWWEEE lily this is adorable 🥹🥹 and i love sirius and rem as sidekicks haha <3

Afterglow

wc: 2.6k

tw: anxiety & fight

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was bad. This was the worst thing that has happened between you and Lily, for the most part the two of you were fairly good at communicating, and expressing your wants and needs with one another. But this time, this time it was different. This time there was an underlying fear in your stomach. Neither one of you knew how it got to this point you had been fine before this so what caused this what pushed you over the edge? None of it made sense, not to Lily. She didn’t understand why you were pushing her away. But to you it was making perfect sense. It made sense why you were pulling away, it made sense as to why you were pulling away from her. But to Lily this was a punch in the gut to see you pull away. And if that’s what you wanted she supposed that’s what she would give you.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It hadn’t been more than two hours when you already needed to find your friend. You had to find her before you flung off a wall with how anxious you felt. You and Lily had a fight and it was a bad one and it was your fault. So right now you need to find Elina. Most times when anything felt overwhelming you ran to her for help. She is one of the kindest and most supportive girls you’ve become friends with during your time at Hogwarts so you appreciated having her and being able to talk to her. Frantically you nearly ran into her in your state. Worried she held your arms making sure you were okay.

“Y/n?” She questioned. She didn’t know what was wrong other than you being anxious but she knew you were going to say why. Carefully she ushered you to a quiet bench and you looked at her nearly in tears with everything that had just happened. It was tearing you up inside thinking you may have lost Lily for good and

“ I started pushing her away because I feel like I’m not enough and that I don’t give her what she deserves. Lina she literally could have James freaking Potter as her boyfriend and you expect me to believe that she willingly chose me? You want me to fully believe that I was the woman of her desires and not Mary? Not Maralene? I know she says that she loves me and wouldn’t dare think about cheating on me or even looking at someone else but what if-“ Elina cut you off before you could hurt yourself even more. Elina, much like the entire population of Hogwarts knew how madly in love Lily Evans was for you. You were her entire world. So hearing you speak so many lies about Lily possibly leaving was hard for her to fathom.

“Ok! I’m stopping you right there. Do you want to hear the advice or the truth? Either works for me.” She said as she carefully watched you weigh your options. Elina was never one to push you into a bad decision but she would always tell you the truth and not force any advice on you if you didn’t think it was a good piece of advice. So naturally, you wanted to hear the advice that she had for you.

“Babe, Lily is head over heels in love with you and she has been for quite some time now, the fact that you’re having these thoughts are honestly normal because you’re always overthinking. And not that it’s a bad thing, it's just time for you to understand that you don’t need to listen to those thoughts. The truth of the matter is that in order to solve this feeling that you’re not enough for Lily. Babe what you’re feeling is imposter syndrome and my darling you are enough. Lily thinks the world of you and would do anything for you which is why I think she’s given you space. Apart from the fact that I think you may have upset her but for the most part I think she’s giving you what you want.” She said everything in such a way that you really had no reason not to believe her. But the knot in your stomach remained. Why did you have to break what you love? While you knew this was your fault you didn’t think it would have gone this far. It was on your face how guilty you felt, it was now just a matter of whether or not Lily would hear you out for it or not. Truthfully you think that’s what was making the knot worse.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Unbeknownst to you, Lily was currently sat with Remus and Sirius talking about how she was concerned for you. She knew that Remus would calm her nerves and Sirius would understand her woes. Both of them understood how to help. Either with insight on how you were currently feeling or with how she was currently feeling. No matter what both of the boys knew how to approach this.

“Lily?” Remus was the first to speak. He understood better than anyone what it was like to be an overthinker. He also knew what it was like to have a partner that you push away because of how you see yourself. He couldn’t comfort her telling her he understood how she felt, no he wasn’t the one being pushed away. He was the one pushing, he knew what you were going through so he knew what to tell her but even if he did tell her why you pushed Lily away after so long, he knew it wouldn’t matter. Because when he did it to Sirius he knew that nothing anyone told him made him feel better. If anything it made Sirius feel worse as if he was encouraging Remus to leave.

“Hm?” She looked up but she wasn’t there. She missed you, she didn’t understand why you pushed her away nor did she understand why you were pushing her away. She knew that you loved her and wanted to be in a relationship with her but she didn;t understand why you were pushing her away. She didn’t understand why it was anything that caused you two to fight. And the biggest thing that didn’t make any sense to her was why you believed that she deserves someone better? She didn’t want anyone else, she wanted you. Why didn’t you believe that? Has she done something to make you think otherwise? She didn’t think she did.

“Lily Evans!” Sirius shouted. It effectively called her out of her state of duress. But it didn’t help with how she was feeling. Glancing at Sirius she raised her brow slightly prompting him to talk.

“What’s going on in your head, red?” He knew it would bother her but she couldn’t be bothered to care now about stupid nicknames that Sirius held for her. Right now what mattered was making sure that you were okay and that the two of you were okay. Anything else was just a bonus.

“Why does she think she isn’t enough?” It was weird to hear Lily's words come out. Lily, who never was at a loss of words or quip remarks, was now sounding so meek. She sounded so scared and concerned about how this may affect the two of you. But she sounded so far away. She was so lost in thought that it didn’t even make sense in her head to actually have this happening. Why was this happening? How could she fix it?

“Lily? If I may, coming from her perspective, she didn’t mean to hurt you. She is just thinking that she’s protecting you. She doesn’t think that it's hurting you, she thinks that her echo chamber is correct and that you hate her. She’s doing this as an attempt to save herself but it's also affecting you.

“But I don’t want anyone better than her, there is no one better than her! She is my everything Remus and I’m not sorry for that! I am sorry that she doesn’t believe me when I tell her. Remus there is quite literally nothing that can be said to me in order for me to not march to her dorm and tell her that there is no one else I’d rather be with!” Silence overtook the trio. It was difficult to hear this from their friend, and it was even worse to have to hear her come to terms with what was happening but both of them understood how she was feeling and why it was eating away at her.

“Lily,” Sirius tried, but failed. Lily began crying and fell into Remus’ arms. Her sobs made both the boys’ hearts skin. They hated seeing here like this and they hated even more knowing that you were probably doing the same. Silently they watched as there was nothing else they could do than offer their company and comfort.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was nearly a week since you and Lily had gotten into that argument. It made your stomach churn to the point where food didn’t seem appealing any longer. This was now affecting both of you terribly, Lily felt lost and you felt like you were grieving and like you couldn’t come back from this. This was the worst that you have ever felt as if you could vomit at any given moment. Your stomach was constantly hurting and it was terrible. It wasn’t anything you ever wished on anyone. Much less Lily. But this was getting harder to watch.

”Y/n?” It was Sirius. He wasn’t looking particularly angry, disturbed maybe, but he looked like he always did. You look at him and you knew he was planning something but you didn’t pay mind to it.

”Hm?” Your response mirrored Lily’s. She had been responding in hums and nods. She barley spoke anymore. And if she did it was brief and never about you. It felt wrong.

“I need to show you something.” Not leaving much room for you to argue he grabbed your arm and led you to an abandoned classroom where Lily and Remus were. You were quick to turn on your heel and try to make a run for it. But there stood Sirius and held you back before you could actually run off. He needed both you and Lily to talk it out and he knew neither one of you would actually do it. So he had to force you with the help of his ever so loving boyfriend.

“Sirius, let me go.” You grit out struggling in his grasp. He didn’t respond but went to turn you when Lily spoke.

“Sirius. Let her go.” She spoke in a firm voice for the first time since the fight. It scared you. Sirius listened and let you go instantly. She looked at you for a moment then at Remus and finally spoke again, “Let her leave.” Not saying another word she turned to Remus and her back was to you. Your heart plummeted. You fucked up.

Sirius opened the door and walked you out. As you watched the door close the tears you had been fighting finally made their way to your cheeks. Sirius pulled you into a hug as you sobbed. He knew that his boyfriend was currently hugging their shared redhead friend. Soothingly he rubbed your back and stroked your hair like he had with Remus. He knew what Lily was feeling but he now understood what you were feeling and why you felt so anxious. He wasn’t cross with you for trusting your anxieties. You’re only human, you can only fight them for so long.

“Darling you have to tell her that you don’t actually want to break up. She’s over there thinking that’s what you wanted.” Sirius’ attempt to try and get you to understand the gravity was making you feel dizzy. You knew that you had to tell Lily that this was your fault, you needed to hear her say that she still loved you and that you were hers. You maybe even needed to hear that this wasn’t your fault but your anxieties.

“I will.” And you stuck to your promise, or you were going to. You went to the market a short time after and bought Lily her favourite flowers. There were blues, pinks and white littered in the bouquet and you even picked out the new book that she had been looking at when you and her went on the last date you two had. Gathering everything, you shakily made your way back to her dorm. Your hands were shaking as you knocked at the entrance. Some fourth year let you in and you nervously walked to her dorm. The walk that once felt comforting now made your knees tremble in fear. You felt like you were going to be sick, but you went to her door.

And you knocked three times before standing and waiting for her to open the door.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You weren’t waiting for longer than two seconds when the door flung open. A very disheveled looking Lily answered the door. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, she was wearing your favourite jumper. She had on a pair of your pajama pants on as well. Her eyes looked bloodshot. In that moment you felt terrible guilt at seeing her state. You were the root of this. The strong confident Lily you were used to was no longer standing in front of you. A much more sensitive and fragile version stood in front of you and you felt sick.

“Hi.” You mutter and she waves. She was leaning on the doorframe and she looked so depressingly sad it made you want to hug her and kiss away her tears.

“Can I come in?” She moves and lets you enter. You take notice that none of her roommates are here. Great. Shakily you turn to look at her as she closes the door.

“Lily, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault and I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’m not the one you want-“ She cut you off before you could even finish.

”You are the one I want. You are all I want even when you break my heart and lose your mind. I’m still yours and we will be just fine, love.” When those words left her mouth it was so revealing. While these were things that your friends had told you, it didn’t mean much for them to say it. But when Lily told you? It meant the world. Overwhelmed with emotions you fling yourself on her. Both of you were now crying and sharing the fact that you both had endured so much to get to this point. It meant so much to you that Lily had said those words. Looking up at her in teary eyes you say,

“I’m sorry that I hurt you and I don’t want to lose this with you.” She looked at you and smiled. She leaned in just centimeters away from your face when she smiled at you,

“You never will.” And she sealed her promise with a kiss. You melted into it and relished in having your girlfriend back. Pulling away she took notice of how full your hands were.

“Oh, I brought you flowers. And that book that you wanted last time we went out. I thought maybe we could read it together?” Lily’s smile infected yours as she took the flowers, placing them on her trunk. She grabbed your waist and pulled you to her bed. The two of you now lay in each other's embrace and read the book Lily had suggested and were content. Even when you had your bad days you knew that Lily would always be there. Lily was always at your side, she was your afterglow.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

if you liked it please comment, it makes me so happy when i see them!

<3

lily

garden of eden; l.e

lily evans x fem!reader

summary: a garden date with lily evans is heaven on earth.

warning: fluff

word count: 429

request?: yes / no

a/n: it's a bit short and me but i hope you like it!!

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lily was beautiful. that was an understatement, in fact, lily was a goddess. beautiful in an ethereal and everlasting way that just took everyone’s breath away. you watched her as you lay in her lap, fiery red hair blowing with the wind and fair skin shining under the warm summer sun, she was truly a goddess.

lily soon caught the attention of your loving gaze, peering down with adoring eyes.

“what are you thinking love?” she cooed at you ever so softly.

“you are so pretty” you mumbled in a haze.

she chuckled lightheartedly at your response, her cheeks slightly flushing pink from the compliment. she cupped your face with her hand, pulling you up slightly and pressing her lips against yours in a soft and tender kiss.

you pulled away from her, silently staring for a bit as she tucked in a little piece of your hair behind your ear. you both looked into each other's eyes as if in a staring contest before breaking out in laughter.

you lay back down in her lap, turning your head to admire the landscape around you. lily had taken you out for a little garden date to enjoy the summer sun and with a few flicks of her wand, she had apparated you here, to heaven on earth.

the garden around you rested silently on the outskirts of some old castle ruins. it had been built for the old queen of that castle, a gift to her beauty the legend told. it was named the garden of eden as an allusion to the queen's real and goddess-like beauty and you thought that it was quite fitting for lily too.

you picked up a flower that had bloomed beside you, twirling it in your fingers before reaching up and placing it on lily’s hair.

“a pretty flower for my pretty girl” you said as she smiled.

she pressed a kiss to your forehead before whispering a soft “thank you”, her voice melting in a wind in an ever so melodious way.

unexpectedly, you began hearing the soft sound of a song and then the sound of lily’s voice.

“care to dance, my love?” she asked as she stood up and extended her hand to you.

you took it, standing up before she pulled you into her embrace, her arms wrapping around your waist as your arms wrapped themselves around her neck. you swayed to the rhythm of the tune, basking in each other's love.

the garden of eden was truly heaven on earth, but with lily evans, which place was not?.

taglist: @just-a-smol-spoon, @queen-asteria04, @weaselbrownie, @wrathspoet, @leah-johnsonn, @mummy-milkers-pls, @ughgclden, @drewsbarrymoore