Ln4 Angst - Tumblr Posts

HEATHER - lando norris

in which. . heather was everything lando wanted and y/n could never be her, no matter what she did — ln4 x f! reader

- inspired by heather | conan gray

warnings : body image issues(?), slight mentions of being intoxicated, let me know if there’s anything else!

notes: first fully written post and angst, kinda scared about how it’s going to do cuz i haven’t written in so long.

i hate angst or sad endings so i have no idea what got me to actually go through with this idea 💀💀

type : written ⋆ word count : 1.3k

i still remember the third of december, me in your sweater

i was currently in lando’s living room scrolling through my phone when lando walked into the room and sat down beside me, pulled out his phone, and asked, “what do you want for lunch? i was planning on ordering some food.” i put my phone down and looked into his beautiful aquamarine eyes, which were already looking into mine. “anything works really." he glanced down at his phone and looked up. “uhhh you in mood for some... pasta??"  i gave him a little nod and smiled, “yeah sure! that sounds great.”

you said it looked better on me than it did you

he quickly placed the order and looked at me with a bright smile. “the order has been placed, my lady.” giggling, i replied, “oh how kind of you, sir." he looked at me and quickly smiled when he saw what i was wearing. “my sweater looks so much better on you than me, pretty girl." a small blush rose in my neck. “thank you, lan” i quietly replied with a smile.

 only if you knew how much i liked you

i felt a small weight on my heart after the compliment. i knew he meant it as a friendly gesture, but i couldn’t help but want it to be something more intimate. i wanted to tell him just how much i loved him and wanted him to myself, but i knew.

 but i watch your eyes as she walks by

i knew how you felt about her, how you thought she was the prettiest girl in the world, and how she had the prettiest smile and the most gorgeous eyes. how could i not? with all the times you’ve ranted about her to me?

 what a sight for sore eyes

everyone knew how much she meant to you; anyone with half a brain and eyes would. your eyes were practically heart-shaped whenever she was around.

 brighter than the blue sky

it was almost as if she were the walking sun. whenever she was around, your bright blue eyes would somehow become even brighter and bluer.

 she’s got you mesmerized while i die

i couldn’t help but feel like i was drowning in my own feelings and thoughts whenever I saw her or heard her name. she’s got you on your knees for her, the same way you have me on my knees for you.

 why would you ever kiss me?

it was 2:47 a.m on a saturday night, and you were in my apartment after a night of partying too hard. i left you to freshen up and got you some water, when i came back and watched you gulp the water down, i felt like this was the closest i could ever get to calling you my boyfriend. you suddenly stood up and walked closer to me. my eyes widened as you were walking closer and closer to me. you suddenly held my right cheek and whispered, “you’re so pretty, i could kiss you right now.”

i shouldn’t have done it, i shouldn’t have told you to do it. i knew it would kill me the next day, but i had finally had the chance to know how you feel. how could i ever pass that up?

 i’m not even half as pretty

standing in front of the mirror, i could tell why he liked her. she had the most gorgeous hair, the perfect body, the sweetest voice, and really, really pretty eyes.

 you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester

she walked into the room wearing your sweater, which fit her perfectly. it was not very baggy but not very form-fitting either, maybe it’s because of her body. the worst part wasn’t that she looked so comfortable in it, but the way you looked at her, like she had hung the stars and the moon in the sky.

but you like her better

 wish i were heather

all i want is one day. just one day in her body to know how it feels to have you love me. that’s all i ask for.

 watch as she stands with her, holding your hand

her hands fit perfectly into yours; they looked as if Aphrodite herself had made each of your hands with the other in mind.

 put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now i’m getting colder

i turned around excitedly to look at lando as our song started playing in the background of the club, only to come face-to-face with another scene that had my heart cracking even more and another night successfully ruined.

he was talking to some of our mutual friends, which wasn’t even the worst part. he had his arm around her shoulder, holding her securely as she started laughing about something lando had said. a shiver went down my spine, and the chill i felt was nothing compared to how my heart was hurting.

 but how could i hate her? she’s such an angel

“oh my god, i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to intrude.” i was just in the restroom, touching up my makeup and talking to my best friend over the phone, when she walked into the restroom. she looked like she was genuinely surprised and did not mean to walk in.

i almost felt bad for trying to antagonize her.

but then again, kinda wish she were dead as she

walks by

all the feelings of guilt had disappeared when i was back where i was a few weeks ago. standing beside lando, talking to him when she walks into the room, stealing his attention as always.

 what a sight for sore eyes

i could feel my eyes tearing up; i couldn’t make a scene. not here in public. i quickly excused myself to the restroom and walked towards it with my head down while taking shaky breaths every ten seconds to try and calm myself.

 brighter than the blue sky

it happened again; your eyes suddenly became so much brighter and more vibrant when you looked at her. it hurts. i wish i could just tell you how much you mean to me and how i want to be more than just your friend, but no, i can’t do this to you or myself. i can’t make you choose between me and her when i know that you’ll always choose her.

she’s got you mesmerized while i die

i wish that you were under a spell—a spell that makes you look at her as if she’s the only person who matters. a spell that makes you want her and not me. i also wish that maybe, if she does have you under a spell, i could learn it too. just for one day, just to know how it feels to be your everything.

 why would you ever kiss me?

that night haunts me. your lips on mine were the best thing i’ve ever felt. it was short, but it will always be the most precious moment to me. the ghost of your lips keeps me awake at night, hoping that maybe you'll come again, for another kiss that i can treasure. but i know it will never happen, not when you have her to go to.

i’m not even half as pretty

i would never be like her, no matter how much i workout, what I eat, or what I wear. i could never compare myself to her. she’s the sun while i’m just another star somewhere in the sky.

 you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester

i saw your sweater again, a different one. it was the one i gave you on your birthday last year, the one you loved so much and promised to never let anyone touch it or take it away from you. i guess that promise means nothing to you, just like the many other ones that we shared.

 but you like her better

no matter what you do or say, i know that i’ll always be second to her. i don’t have to hear it from anyone; i can see it as clearly as broad daylight.

i wish i were heather.

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@bingussthirdtoe