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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ [CHOICELESS HOPE] ❞ — masterlist.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader. summary: the moment leading up to the kiss, the drumroll, is as good as the kiss itself. it's certainly more innocent. it's completely harmless. content warnings: canon divergent. emotional cheating (not on reader). angst. right person wrong time. no use of y/n. more on each part. word count: check each part.

you're his old partner, he was already married. it couldn't happen. now you're back in the BAU and he's in a relationship. it can't happen.

can it?

blurb. wool to brave the season.

one. the drumroll.

two. one more time.

three. need in the devotee.

four. delicate.

five. harmless.

defiance | king!sukuna x servant!reader

chapter ten: hidden letters

summary: a psychic shares her vision with the king, saying that his soulmate would replace all 5 of his concubines one day. he had her banned from the premises for that absurd prediction. it wasn't until months later when he started believing the old bitch, after one cute yet disobedient servant started working at the shrine. TL;DR: sukuna's a sorcerer in this one, still ooc but not too much. mc pretty much ran away from home for being a hoe, and went to work at sukuna's shrine lol.

genre: female reader, heian era au but incredibly historically inaccurate, 18+, grumpy x sunshine, fluff, smut, so much crack, angst, mutual pining, might be seen as dubcon but she wants him lol, no he wont have two sets of arms, and no he wont have two dicks, srry srry srry

fic warnings: profanity, explicit smut, ooc, mentions of grooming, graphic depictions of violence, suicide, more will be added as story progresses

word count: like 3.8k?

notes: no chapter warnings this time (: enjoy the read and happy sunday!!

master list

playlist (lana heavy)

“You’re joking.” 

“Oh come on,” Hayami scoffed. “That would be purely diabolical on my part.”

You crossed your arms, “What did they say?”

“That they’d like to see you again. They said they’ve been sending letters here for over two months now.” 

Interesting how the only ones you’ve received so far were from Hayami— making your mind going straight to a certain salmon-haired menace who most likely knows where they are. 

“And how did they find out?”

“I honestly have no idea.. I’m guessing from Toji, maybe?”

“Probably if it’s been two months,” you grudgingly said.

—

Sukuna had just gotten back to his chambers after a long training session with Uraume, and immediately heard ruffling coming from his office in the very back. 

Whoever had snuck in obviously didn’t hear him come inside since the noise didn’t stop, so he quietly shut the door– wanting to scare the shit out of whoever it was before he punished them. 

Right before he reached the doorway, he heard a little “ugh” that he was all too familiar with, immediately stepping into the office to see what you were doing there. 

He froze in place, eyes blown wide open and jaw dropped at the fact that he just got caught red fucking handed. 

He knew he couldn’t even talk his way out of this— all 12 of the letters he hadn’t disposed of were in your hand, all while you glared at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” He asked in a panicked tone. 

“You’re really asking me that right now?” You retorted, beyond baffled at his pathetic response to getting caught hiding your mail. “Kuna, how long have you had these?” 

He slightly pursed his lips together, pretending to think, knowing the answer was at least 2 months, but not sure if he should tell you that. “Over a month.” 

It technically wasn’t a lie. 

“And why haven’t you said anything?!” 

He doesn’t like it when you grit your teeth like that, or the way you were staring into his soul at that moment. 

He quickly pulled it together, reminding himself that there was nothing to be nervous about. “Because they’re fucking assholes.”

“I’m well aware of that, I just don’t get why you decided it was a good idea to keep these from me,” you scoffed. 

“You’re the one who said you wanted them to think you’re dead!” He argued, just remembering that little piece of information on the spot, hoping your mood wouldn’t get worse than it already was.

“I did, but I still think I deserve to read whatever they have to say to me!” You argued back. “Don't you?!”

“Ugh, yes,” he groaned. “Okay— okay! It was wrong, I shouldn’t have hid them from you.” 

“Are these all of them?” 

“Yes,” you raised your eyebrow at his hesitancy to answer the question. “No,” he corrected himself. “I burned the first two.” 

“Un-fucking-believable,” you pinched your nose bridge. “Whatever, can’t take it back now.” You mumbled to yourself. 

That was right, no he could not. 

“They didn’t say much in the first two anyways.” He scratched the back of his head while accidentally admitting that he read them too. 

You felt your eyes roll into the back of your head from how he didn’t even realize he told on himself just now. “What did they say?” You let out a sigh.

“That they missed you, that they were worried about you for the longest time, apparently. And that they were happy to hear you were doing “okay”— no apologies or even acknowledging what they did to you.” 

“Of course they didn’t,” you said in a defeated tone. “You swear you only burned two of them?” 

“I swear.” He was quick to throw his hands up as he promised, slightly relieved that you seemed more sad than mad. It was easier to make you feel better when you like that. 

“No apology?” 

“I’m not apologizing for trying to protect you.” He retorts, rather firmly, making you roll your eyes again— you swear he’d rather die than apologize to another person. 

“‘Kay, thanks for that.” Your tone wasn’t too convincing, but you weren’t trying to fight with him. 

“Where are you going?” He held his arms out.

“Back to my chambers?” 

He shook his head at you for trying to leave him so soon. “I’m coming with you, hold on.” 

You groaned at him making you wait for him while he changed out of his training clothes and into one of his daily robes. But you left it at that, not wanting to snap at him anymore than you already did. 

He already knew you were mad, there wasn’t really a point in trying to prove it even more by continuing to attack him— no matter how questionable his thought process was. 

— 

It took you around 2 hours to thoroughly read the letters, all while Sukuna found random shit to do like awkwardly tidying up your room, even though it was already clean. 

He was just pointlessly moving around decor and random items at that point.

You figured it was out of guilt and you just let him wallow in it for a bit, until you finally invited him to sit on the bed with you while you read the last letter— the one that came in literally 3 days ago. 

All twelve of the letters were pretty much the same— asking how you’ve been the past year, how much they missed you, how they wanted to see you again– everything Sukuna said, along with them avoiding talking about what drove you to live at the shrine in the first place. 

You wanted to talk about how much they fucked up your life, but you’ve recently come to the decision that you’d stop mentioning any of the life regrets you had in front of Sukuna, who’d get quiet whenever you did. 

He obviously enjoyed having you here, continuing to talk about your misfortunes would just be a slap in the face to him at this point after all the effort he’s put into trying to make you happy here.

“Are you going to write them back?” He asked, looking over your shoulder and quietly reading the last letter with you despite having already read it.. three days ago.

“I’m not sure. I still don’t forgive them for all the things they’ve said to me.. and literally trying to kill me. I swear I could still feel how hard my dad slapped me if I closed my eyes and really thought about it.”

He frowned at that, tucking your hair behind your ear and rubbing your cheek, unable to understand how anyone could hurt you like that. 

Your own father out of all of the people in this world too. He’s convinced that they only reached out to you just so they could visit the shrine, maybe climb up the ladder a bit in terms of social classes. Having a daughter that was a concubine of the king was definitely one of the easiest ways to do it, especially with how he was well known to be picky with his partners. 

They could also work hard, but if they didn’t try to do that before, he doubts they’d try to do that now. Not only that, your parents and older brother just seemed lazy from the stories you’ve told him. Taking advantage of others and then playing the victims once they got caught. 

Sure, he believed in taking what you could get, he did it all the time. 

But you couldn’t be an asshole and a victim. There was a difference between making others think you’re a good person just to steal from them and simply going up to someone and demanding they give you something. 

He was a part of the latter of course, and if it was fucked up, at least he was true to himself.

On top of that, he couldn’t stand how fucking righteous they were. So what if you slept with people before marriage, it's not like you were born a noble or anything. 

It clearly worked out well for you in the long run anyways, if you asked him. 

A little too well, actually— not once leaving him disappointed, ever.

“Whatever you choose to do, I’ll support you,” his words brought a smile to your face. “But if they try to fuck with you I promise you I’ll skin them alive.” He concluded, wiping the short-lived smile right off your face. 

“What a hero,” you dryly responded. 

“More like a villain,” he snorted as he shamelessly corrected you. “Someones gotta be one and I do a wonderful job at playing the part.”

“That you do.” You agreed.

“Sooo,” he reached for the rest of the stack on the bed. “Can I burn these too?”

“Absolutely not, Kuna.”

—

“My king,” Kaori walked up to Sukuna and Uraume, bowing with her five other attendants. “It's a beautiful day, isn’t it?” The young woman attempted to spark up a conversation with him for what seemed like the millionth time.

Sukuna was on his way to the throne room, not in the mood for small talk. “I guess. Too bad I can’t enjoy it since I’m late for the hearing,” he briefly responded, hoping she’d get discouraged from keeping the conversation going. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Were you being accompanied by any of the concubines today?” 

“Lady Ayame’s already there.” 

He tried to get you to come today, and wished you actually would’ve because then this woman wouldn’t be approaching him— but you didn’t have the stomach to go to hearings on most days, today being one of those days. 

The only ones who could truly stand them were Ayame and Yuna, but he learned his lesson with Yuna after just one time. 

That little shit started laughing and clapping like a fucking seal after he beheaded someone for a reason he could no longer remember since it was already long ago. The only thing he remembers was Yuna embarrassing him and her not giving a single fuck if she did— never again.

“May I join? I would love to see what your daily commitments look like.” She smiled at him warmly.

Fucks sake— this is what he gets for trying to get another concubine when you both were fighting. Now he’s cursed with some random girl that thinks he picked her out because he was interested in her. 

And to make matters worse, you pushed him to visit her, which he ended up doing a couple times— you were an absolute trooper for even suggesting that, but eventually told you that he was done. 

Fast forward to now, both him and Uraume genuinely feel like she spends her day walking around the shrine trying to search for him, judging by the amount of times she’s approached him since the first visit.

“No, you may not.” He answered coldly, staring her down as if she were some persistent gnat. Nothing annoys him more than when a person asks him for something. 

The girl thankfully excused herself, still surprisingly as gracious as ever, even after receiving a harsh rejection. It was something he would’ve respected in the past prior to meeting you, but now it’s just old and boring.

Have a backbone, look at him like you want to stab him or something if you really want his attention. 

He found it funny how much things could change in less than 6 months— who would’ve thought he’d grown to enjoy being scolded, even feeling compelled to start petty little arguments to get you riled up. 

Key word: You. 

If anyone else were to try that shit with him, fuck— good luck. 

Having Kaori at the shrine wasn’t all that bad though. He surprisingly got along well (enough) with her father, who was the shogun of the Silk District. 

It was the main reason why he didn’t go back on the deal, even though he had already made up with you before it was finished. 

Direct access to silk didn't hurt anyone. Plus, he figured you’d like the clothing from there too— and you did. He likes the way your eyes light up when he brings you back new dresses, skirts, robes, whatever.

Now he just needed to find a way to get Kaori to fuck off, that girl was too persistent— it was going to drive him up the wall.

—

“Hey, is Mariko free right now?” You asked her lady in waiting that opened the main door to her chambers.

“Yes she is!” Mariko yelled out from the general area, before her attendant could even answer. “Please, come in! Aiko, could you make her some tea please?” 

“Of course, my lady.” Aiko bowed and excused herself.

“How can I help you princess?” She asked, her tone laced with her usual playfulness.

You wanted to roll your eyes at the nickname, she started calling you that after sitting next to Sukuna during the ceremony on the second day of the festival.

“Well..” you handed her the letters you received from your parents. “I’m trying to figure out if I want to write back to my family or not. Help me out here, Miss Consultant.” 

“I’d love to,” she said, immediately reaching for the papers. “You know, I thought you’d feel comfortable enough to come to me after one or two— not 12.” 

“Actually, there were originally 14. Sukuna burned the first two, and then I found the rest hidden in his office.” 

“Of course you did,” she mumbled while skimming through the letters, not even wanting to get into how much of an idiot that man could be at times— smart enough, yet so irrational. 

“Your parents are assholes.” She concluded after reading one of the letters. She already knew about your backstory, courtesy of Sukuna and his big mouth.

“I know.” You wholeheartedly agreed.

“Not even an apology?” 

“Nope.” 

“I mean— do you still want a relationship with them?” 

“Sometimes,” you admit. “But then I remember how easy it was for them to disown me.” And attempted to murder you, but you left that part out because you were pretty sure you sounded like a broken record at that point.

“Okay, keep this between you and me,” she directly faced you and started to whisper. “But General Toji’s so hot. If I were your mother, I would’ve been so proud.” 

Your eyes widened at the concubines confession. “Please don’t let Sukuna hear you say that.” You whined, not failing to think about the grade A tantrum he’d throw if he ever heard that sentence— you within a 20 feet radius of it. You had enough ptsd from the flower festival to make you physically recoil from her words. 

“He’s just jealous,” she nudged you with her elbow. 

“He’s terrifying when he’s jealous.” You murmur. “Anyways,” you quickly change the subject, “should I write back to them?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt,” she shrugged. “It’s not like they could do anything to hurt you now that you're here. You don’t have to have a relationship with them either. You can always make that decision after hearing what they have to say to you.” 

“That’s true,” You smiled, remembering how Sukuna said he’d support you either way. “Ok, I’m gonna do it. Even if it’s just to get some closure.”

“That’s my girl,” she clasped her hands together before pulling you in for a hug. “Now onto more important matters— when are you going to give the throne an heir?!” 

“Not anytime soon,” you clicked your tongue. 

“Boring,” she booed. “It would be such a cute kid too, what a waste of genetics,” she pouted.

An heir was something Mariko had been bringing up with you and Sukuna more and more often lately. Sometimes even when you two were together, but he never made it weird.

Ever since taking you to his son's grave, he’s been surprisingly honest with you about how he felt about having another child. 

And his feeling on that being that he didn’t want to have another one just yet, he also knew and understood your own fears when it came to pregnancy and motherhood. It was something you two would revisit in the future.

He however had slipped up many times while having sex with you— deliriously telling you that he was going to put a baby in you, and how you’d be the prettiest mommy. You both always ignored that little detail though once you both finally came back to your senses.

There was also the newly common occurrence where he’d “forget” to have Uraume bring you your usual morning concoction. 

“When will Uraume be coming this morning?” 

“Why would they come here?” 

“..To drop off the elixir?”

“Oh.. right— yeah, they’ll be here soon.”

Mornings like those always made you wonder if he was just lying to himself, but you weren’t going to push the subject— he’d eventually say something to you if he were that serious at giving fatherhood a second chance. 

—-

Kaori waited near the exit of the throne room, hoping she’d run into Sukuna again so she could invite him to eat dinner with her later. Her heartbeat steadily picked up once the doors opened, servants coming out first, the king and higher ranks usually being the last. Alas, after finally seeing him come out of the building she started making her way towards him, ready to greet him with a smile on her face— one that was just for him.

Except she was beat to it by you and your newest lady in waiting, Hayami.

A lowly servant turned concubine and a used up whore turned attendant— both of low birth, never once contributing anything useful to society except your bodies and wasting the shrine's resources.

Apparently you two were childhood friends, it made plenty of sense to her with how classless you both were— both of you spending your days frolicking around the estate, you being openly affectionate with the king for everyone’s eyes to see.

It was shameful how desperate you were to have the king's attention— all to yourself, at that.

For the first time ever, she saw a smile creep up on his face that usually held a stoic expression for the world, including herself, to see. 

The smile he had on his face being just for you, as you walked up to him with a letter in your hand. 

The circulating rumors of you being a witch made more and more sense to her with each day that passed. There was no fucking way King Sukuna could be that interested in whatever was in that letter— all while something randomly possessed him to tuck your hair behind your ears. 

And as if that wasn’t enough to have the misfortune to witness, he started rubbing your back and shoulders as you started to read its contents to him, his smile growing wider by the minute.

She was stunned you even knew how to read, most servants being illiterate due to lack of education.

He even spoke kindly to your lady in waiting, despite his reputation for being known to act like the servants and attendants in the shrine didn’t exist aside from his own— and yours, apparently.

She’ll never understand how some men could have shit for taste despite having the world at the palm of their hands. 

You didn’t even have manners— your eyes glazed over during the entirety of the ceremony that was held during the festival, not one ounce of respect or care for tradition that’s been around for hundreds of years.

How dare you act that way in the presence of a king?

Disgraceful.

Vulgar.

Ill-bred bitch.

And of course he let it slide after you took him back to your chambers afterwards to let him fuck you like the whore you were.

But it’s like what her mother told her: men will play around with whoever’s easy and available while they’re young, but they always end up marrying the good girls— the ones who’d actually make good wives and good mothers.

And that’s why she wasn’t worried about you, at all. He was going to use you for all that you had until there was eventually nothing left for you to offer, and then inevitably toss you aside, like the opportunistic whore you were. 

—- 

“Sooo.. what do you think?” You asked him right after reading him the letter you were planning on sending to your parents out loud.

He took the letter from your hands and skimmed through it, while his other hand kept a gentle, yet firm hold on the back of your neck.

“You spelled I hope you’re doing terrible wrong—“ 

“No I didn’t,” you hissed, pulling a chuckle out of him. 

He didn’t get why you were so nervous all of the sudden, it’s not like they were going to disown and throw you out onto the street. 

They already did that, like the useless people they were— clearly undeserving of a daughter like you. The last thing you needed were people like that in your life. 

But he did promise you that he’d be supportive, no matter how much he hated the idea of you potentially forgiving them. 

So he was going to keep his mouth shut and  do exactly just that— be the emotional support you needed for when or if they inevitably broke your heart again. 

“You wrote them a kind letter.” He said, holding back the many other choice words he had lined up for your family. “Did Mariko end up helping you with it?” 

“Nope, it was all me,” you proudly said. “I did ask her for her advice though before deciding if I wanted to write back to them or not. For now I just want to hear them out. If they’re insincere about it, then I’m not going to try to rekindle a relationship with them.” 

Thank fucking god. 

“Smart girl,” he continued to rub the back of your neck. “Anything else you and Mariko talked about?” 

“Nope,” you chirped, trying not to let his little smirk get to you. 

“You sure?” He prodded, alluding to the subject that woman has been persistently circling back to lately whenever she was around either of you.

Judging by how red you got, Mariko definitely brought up you both trying for children when you visited her earlier. You were always so shy when the topic came up, it was fun teasing you about it— he thought it was sweet.

“Positive,” you grit your teeth, removing his hand from you, only for him to take your hand in his and placing a soft kiss on it. 

“Don’t get all feisty with me now, I’m just asking you a question,” he continued to taunt you, tongue in cheek— all while Hayami held back her own giggles in the background, watching it go on until you complained about being hungry and wanting to eat already. 

And of course he offered to take you back to his chambers, letting Hayami have the rest of day and night off as usual.

next chapter

notes: kaori's a real joy isn't she? also, how are we feeling about sukuna hiding 2+ months worth of letters? and him teasing her about mariko pushing her to have babies?

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the skz house: ch 15 (18+)

a/n: thank you @bahablastplz for editing! i apologize for the delay. my work schedule goes back to normal next month so i'll have my head back on straight then. thank you for your patience! i hope you enjoy the chapter :)

Summary: Welcome to Sigma Kappa Zeta, the most popular fraternity on campus. When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see their ad for ‘IN-HOUSE STAY’. You're one of the four girls chosen and find that your duties for the rest of the school year will be cooking, cleaning, and pleasing your assigned house members: Hyunjin & Chan.

[ read chapter fourteen here ]

Chapter Fifteen: Of Showers and Cabins

Tuesday, November 14th

You’re in the living room with Han, Felix, Hyunjin, Jeongin, Changbin and Charlotte. Han gathered you all to practice an upcoming presentation for his public speaking class. As you watch him discuss his chosen topic of Greek Mythology (accompanied by a PowerPoint on the TV behind him), you wonder when his nerves are going to set in, when he’s going to slip up or stumble over his words—he never does. None of the members interject, taunt or tease him.

Han is confident in front of them. Perhaps because of them. He has no problem being the center of attention in the house, around his friends. On his own in front of strangers must be another thing entirely, apparently.  

After he’s finished, the boys offer suggestions on things he could make clearer or that are not necessary to mention. You’ve seen how they operate together—typically silly beyond belief but at the end of the day, they’re always there for each other. Still, it surprises you how gentle they are with him, knowing he’s facing something that makes him uncomfortable.

Han thanks everyone for their time before sitting on the sectional between Changbin and Felix, and with his very next breath says how much he does not want to do this.

“If you bomb it, just remember you’ll probably never see those people again after you graduate,” Changbin tries to console him.

“Maybe not,” Han replies. “But they will have an embarrassing memory of me etched into their brain forever, if I do.”

“We could come sit in the back of the class,” Hyunjin offers. “For moral support.”

Hyunjin is laying down on the couch, legs resting on Changbin’s thighs and his head on your lap as you play with his hair. Jeongin and Charlotte are on the other side of you, cuddled together and in their own little world now.

“Please don’t do that.” Han shakes his head.

“Just relax…don’t overthink it,” Felix tells him, shrugging.

“Easy for you to say,” Han rolls his eyes. “If I, too, had a voice made for smutty audiobooks, I’d probably be giving speeches every day for fun.”

Changbin laughs, “He has a point, ‘Lix. Give us a ‘that’s my good girl’.”

Felix smiles devilishly, eyebrows raised as he leans across Han and motions with his finger for Changbin to come closer. In the deepest, most sultry tone you’ve ever heard from him he says, “That’s my fucking good girl.”

Changbin wiggles his body, as if shivers are running through him and Felix lets out a boisterous laugh.

“Just get through it,” Felix leans back and returns his attention to Han, “and next week we’ll have a nice break at the cabin.”

“Cabin?” You ask.

“Oh, shit,” Hyunjin says, looking up at you and offers a weak smile. “I forgot to tell you.”

You smack him on the head, and he flinches.

“They just decided on it a few days ago,” he attempts to defend himself.

“For Thanksgiving weekend,” Felix informs you. “It’s maybe about an hour and a half away from here. But if you’re going home to visit family that’s fine, of course.”

You hadn’t gone home for Thanksgiving since freshman year. It’s too short of a time span, with most of it spent in the airport. And God forbid there are delays.

“No, I hadn’t planned to,” you tell him.

“Good. ‘Cause I make an amazing peach cobbler,” he does the chef’s kiss motion. “You wouldn’t wanna miss it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

You look down at Hyunjin, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

“I’m sorry?” He attempts puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, you will be. Sorry and broke.” You retort.

Thursday, November 16th

You’ve returned home from your morning class and it’s no surprise Hyunjin is still sleeping. You’re in the girls’ room doing homework and waiting for him to wake up. Rhiannon is in the den with you, click-clacking away on her keyboard. The others are either in class or out of the house.

It’s nearly 1:00pm when you receive a text from Hyunjin.

Are you not back yet?

It makes you smile—picturing him waking up in bed alone, knowing you should be back from school by now and expecting you to be there, snuggling up with him.  

I’m in the den, doing homework.

You sleep too much.

No such thing. I’m gonna hop in the shower…lunch when I’m out?

Of course. I got you.

And yes, you do. You have him. You will whip him up a lunch of his choosing, after business is handled. Now that half the members are out of the competition, you don’t think he’ll object as heavily to losing. You’ve been waiting for this day—you know his Thursday routine. He sleeps in, showers, eats, then goes to class. Now is the perfect time to take action.

“Rhi,” you call out to her, spinning around in your chairs.

“Hmm?” Is her reply, but she doesn’t take her gaze away from her computer screen.

“I’m going up now.”

She finally turns around to look at you, “You got this.” She gives you a thumbs up and a wink.

You exit the den and head upstairs. You’re not sure if this is allowed, but there was never anything said about areas of the house specifically being off limits to the girls. You’d never seen or caught any of the members in the girl’s bathroom with their assignees, though.

When you make it to the second floor, you hear music playing at the end of the hall. You tiptoe towards the bathroom and can hear the shower water running, too. You take a deep breath as you turn the doorknob, hoping that your calculations of who’s home and who’s away is correct. Since the boys also share a bathroom, you have to pray that Hyunjin is alone.

You tentatively step inside, peeking your head in first to make sure no one else is there. The coast is clear and Hyunjin is already in the shower, thankfully. Their bathroom is set up exactly like the girls—multiple sinks, showers, and separate rooms for the toilets. The glass surrounding the shower is fogged up, keeping your entrance a secret. You quietly close and lock the door behind you.

Hyunjin is obliviously singing along to the Mac Miller song blaring from the speaker. You quickly slip out of your clothes and set them in a pile on the sink before making your way to the shower door.

You grip the handle and gently pull the door open. Hyunjin is standing directly under the showerhead with his back towards you. His head is tilted back, eyes shut as the water pours over him. You have a fraction of a second to enjoy the sight because as soon as the cold air hits him he whips around, screams and holds his hands up in defense.

You immediately burst into laughter.

“Y/N,” he says, exhaling lightly when realization sets in that it’s you.

You enter the shower and close the door behind you, sealing the steam and warmth back in. He’s leaning against the wall, hand now over his chest and just completely…exposed. You don’t let the opportunity to run your eyes over his body pass.   

“Didn’t mean to startle you,” you say with a small shrug and smile.

He clicks his tongue, “Liar.”

He pushes away from the wall, standing under the water again. You step around him, positioning yourself between him and the shower wall.

“This is it, huh?” He asks, seeing the look in your eyes.

You nod in response and start to lower yourself to your knees.

“Uh-uh,” he shakes his head and grabs your waist to stop you.

He pulls you up so you’re standing and covers your mouth with his. His tongue glides over your lips and your eyes flutter shut as you relax and let him take the lead. You don’t have to worry about what comes next with him. You know he’s about to make you feel like you never existed until you met him.

“You first,” he says, breaking the kiss. 

He backs you up against the wall and gets down on his knees. You step your legs further apart to allow him better access. He slides one hand up your stomach to cup your breast, pinching your nipple and watching with a smile as you push your hips forward in an attempt to get his mouth right where you want it.

He doesn’t make you wait. He latches on to your pussy with his mouth and your hands immediately go to his head, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling at the roots. You lean your head back against the wall and let out a sigh, feeling his tongue slide back and forth, up and down between your folds.

You hadn’t exactly been fucking your ex every single day, however since moving into the SKZ house you’d grown accustomed to some kind of regular sexual activity. You hadn’t gone more than seven days without it since being here. It’s been sixteen, and it felt like an eternity.

You turn your gaze down to Hyunjin. He’s focused on the task at hand as the water cascades down his back. With your hands still in his hair, you press him against you harder, rocking your hips against his face. He chuckles at this. His other hand slips between your legs to find your opening and pushes two fingers inside of you.

“You missed me, jagiya?” He murmurs, looking up at you with those smiling brown eyes.

“Yes,” you reply without hesitation.

“Good,” he places a kiss on your clit then returns his focus to fucking you with his fingers and playing with your breasts, your nipples.

One, maybe two, songs play out on the speaker as he continues to pleasure you. Alternating from using his fingers to his mouth, never seeming to grow tired of the work he’s putting in. You want to let him finish; you want to come standing over him like this. But you need him to fuck you.

Sure, he’s technically out of the game now due to his actions. You’ve got to see this through, though, to make sure he’s out-out. 

You release the hairs on his head and grab his wrist to stop him. You motion for him to stand, and he does, popping his fingers in his mouth to lick your juices off. He kisses you again, letting you taste yourself on his lips.

You push him away and turn around, pressing your chest against the wall and turning your head to the side. You arch your back, pushing your ass against him. He reaches up to move the shower head out of the way a bit as his other hand rubs his dick up and down your slit. He revels in the feeling for a moment, teasing you.

When his dick reaches your opening, he thrusts his hips forward and you moan at the feel of him inside of you, arching your back even more.

“Fuck,” he says, shaking his head as he holds your hips still. “I’m not sure how long—”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “You can make it up to me.”

That’s all he needs to hear.

He starts fucking you—pulling out, thrusting in. Gripping your hips, your breasts, hands wandering all over your body. It’s like he can’t decide what he wants to do, but it’s been so long he wants to do it all.

One hand makes its way down around your waist to stimulate your clit, rubbing circles as he continues thrusting. He leans forward and showers your back in the sweetest, softest kisses. Combined with everything else and how long it’s been, it’s enough. Your palms are flat against the shower wall, helping you push your hips back against him. You feel your legs start to shake and Hyunjin gets the hint. He doesn’t change anything he’s doing, knowing what you’re feeling right now is what will make you come.

“Fuck, fuck,” he exhales heavily as your pussy clenches around his dick. He can’t hold back any longer. He thrusts into you with reckless abandon, gripping your hips as he releases himself into you.

When he’s done, he wraps his arm under your breasts and pulls you back against him. He moves the showerhead back in place, so the warm water falls over both of you.

“Fine. I guess I’ll do the dishes for you,” he jokes, leaning down to rest his cheek against yours.

“At least you don’t have to hold back anymore,” you reply.

“That’s true. I want you in the room ready for me when I’m back from class.”

You turn your head to look at him—he’s smiling.

He had never demanded such a thing before. Not that it’s much of a demand…more of a request. Close enough for Hyunjin.  

Thanksgiving Weekend

Thursday, November 23rd

The house is just as chaotic as you imagined it would be this morning. Twelve people up before the crack of dawn loading cars with food and luggage while still half asleep. Chan instructs you and the other girls to leave first in the car with all the food to get started on the meal. He plugs in the address on the GPS and then you’re off.

The roads are relatively empty, so the drive takes just about an hour and a half. The last fifteen minutes are spent off the main road, driving slowly up a rocky path surrounded by trees.

“Now that’s a cabin,” Rhiannon says as you park the car.

It looks like a log cabin in that the exterior and pillars are all made of wood, except the top portion of the home is triangular with wooden awnings on the sides that cover the wraparound porch on the second level. There are several large windows with no coverings—probably a good thing the location is remote, so no one has to worry about neighbors looking in. In the front yard is a patio table and fire pit surrounded by chairs.

You all exit the car and start lugging the food to the front door. You enter the code on the keypad Chan had texted you and it unlocks.

The interior holds up the log cabin feel with a wide, open floor plan, but all the furniture and appliances make it feel modern. You all momentarily abandon the food at the door to explore the inside. There are four bedrooms, one downstairs and three on the second level, the third level has a loft with a computer desk and ping pong table.

You wonder if this is a rental property or if the SKZ fraternity owns it. You wouldn’t be shocked by the latter, but it’s none of your business.

After touring the cabin, the four of you get back to business and haul the food inside to start prepping the meal. The menu is a mix of traditional American and Korean food for the holiday.

When the boys arrive an hour later, they’ve stopped for a few essentials—mainly alcohol. They unload all the luggage then crowd in the kitchen and start debating over who will sleep where.

“Room Roulette?” Han suggests.

“Assignees and their members?” Jeongin says, winking at Charlotte.

“You’re already out—of course you want that,” Lee Know rebuffs while vigorously working on stuffing the turkey.

“Don’t think you can resist?” Allie asks, to which he rolls his eyes.

She still hasn’t been able to get him to break, but she’s been persistent.

“Ladies choice?” Hyunjin offers as he comes up behind you, standing at the stove, and wraps his hands around your waist.

You nudge him away playfully with your shoulder, but he stays put a moment longer, kissing the back of your neck.

“Does it really matter?” Changbin speaks up. “Everyone will just fall asleep wherever anyways.”

They continue back and forth until they’ve all had enough and just stare at Chan to make a decision.

He points to Jeongin, Han and Hyunjin, “Kai bai bo.”

The three of them stand on separate sides of the island and begin playing rock, paper, scissors. Han is out first. Before Hyunjin and Jeongin start, Jeongin has Charlotte kiss his hands for luck. It must work, because Hyunjin loses.  

Jeongin grins, heart melting dimples on display, and gives a satisfied nod.

“That’s settled then—assignees and their members,” Chan announces.

You’re still focused on the food you’re cooking, but you want so badly to turn and look at Chan to see his expression. Sharing a room with him and Hyunjin? Is he happy with the result?

The rest of the afternoon is spent with everyone helping make something. When it’s finally time for dinner, you sit between Hyunjin and Chan. You’re thankful to be here with all of them. You think back to what Chan said on your first day at the house—that you’d gain a sense of community, and you really have.

The room assignment winds up being a nonfactor. Everyone is so full and damn near comatose that, true to Changbin’s words, they fall asleep wherever they land. You wake up on the couch in the living room and make your way back to the room, but neither Hyunjin nor Chan are there. 

The next day, everyone kind of does their own thing. You go hiking with Hyunjin and a few others while everyone else stays at the house. That night, after dinner, everyone is gathered in the living room drinking and playing games. Or at least you thought everyone was. Looking around the room, you don’t see Chan.

He was here earlier, you’re certain. Where had he gone off to?

It’s closing in on the end of the month and Chan and Lee Know are the only ones that have not yet lost the competition. The others are preoccupied with their game, so you decide to go find him. Time is running out for the month, you’re extremely aware of that. And you have a little bit of liquid courage on your side now.

You take another shot of the strawberry flavored soju before getting up from the couch. He’s not in the kitchen, dining room, or the porch. You make your way up to the room you’ve been assigned on the second floor.

There he is.

He’s laying on the bed on his stomach, scrolling through his phone when you walk in. At the sound, he promptly turns around and sits up.

“Are you bored of us?”

“Nah,” he says lightly. “Just don’t wanna get too drunk again.”

Meaning he doesn’t want to lose control of himself or say anything he might regret again, you assume.

“Would you mind some company?”

You sit next to him on the bed, draping one leg over his and looking up at him with a lazy, tipsy smile.

“PG company?” He chuckles lightly, placing his hand on your leg.

“PG-13, maybe?” You counter, sliding his hand up towards your thigh.

The feel of his fingertips gliding across your skin sends an achy feeling to your core. You want to him to press his fingers against your clit to release the ache.

He smiles back at you and hooks a finger under your chin to pull your face closer to his. Since that day in the closet, he had at least been more open to semi-steamy make out sessions but always pulled away before you could go too far.

You close the distance between you, locking your lips with his as you swing your other leg across him to straddle him. He allows it. You wrap your arms around his neck as you deepen the kiss, sliding your tongue past his lips. You can taste the alcohol on him, too, but it’s faint. Maybe you should have brought some in here. It still counts even if he’s drunk, right?

In any other context, that sounds terrible.  

You start to rock your hips against him, moaning when you feel his cock hardening through his sweatpants. His hands suddenly grip your hips to hold you in place.

“Chan, please,” you whisper. You kiss along his cheek, down to his neck, lightly nipping with your teeth. “I miss you fucking me.”

“No,” he says, but it sounds half-assed, not even half of the conviction you know he can muster. He shakes his head but his cock pressing against your thighs say otherwise. You grind against it again.

“It’s just a stupid competition,” you attempt your best pouty face. You’ve never known these antics to work with him, but you’re pulling at straws now.

“It’s more than that for me,” he replies softly.

“You have to win?”

“I have to resist.”

You furrow your brow.

“Please?” You slip your hand between your legs and squeeze his cock.

He sucks in a breath and in one swift motion, moves you off him and stands up. Before you can even get another word out, he’s walking towards the door, shutting it not so quietly behind him.

You sigh, running your hand through your hair. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed so much, so fast. You have six days left to get to him and right now, it feels like an impossible task. You knew he could hold back, but his words made it seem like it’s more than that. Resisting? Resisting what? You?

You sit for a while, wondering if he’ll come back and why this seems like such a big deal to him. After a few minutes you stand in defeat and walk to the door. As you reach for the knob, the door swings open again, startling you.

Chan is there, ushering a confused Hyunjin into the room.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks you, sounding concerned.

“Yeah? I’m fine.”

Hyunjin turns back to look at Chan with a confused look on his face.

Chan shrugs, his eyes move from you back to Hyunjin, “Y/N needs you.”

There’s something about his tone of voice that you can’t quite pin down. He sounds…dejected almost.

You try to make sense of Chan’s thought process. You plead with him to fuck you and he won’t…so he gets the next best thing in his mind? He knows you’re turned on, that you need him, but he can’t—won’t—give in. So he brings the only other person that can satisfy you right now. Why does it feel like a slap in the face, though? With his tone and the look on his face it’s as if he’s saying, you wanna be fucked so bad? Here’s Hyunjin.

Hyunjin turns back to you and smiles lazily. He reaches for your waist, pulls you to him and kisses you. You’re still surprised by what is playing out, eyes open, looking at Chan with Hyunjin’s lips on yours. Chan breaks eye contact and turns his head as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

You shut your eyes and try your best to shake the thoughts of Chan and focus on Hyunjin. It doesn’t take much trying on your part, truthfully. You could lose yourself in trying to solve the puzzle that is Chan. The only solace from the madness he conjures up inside of you is the man still standing in front of you. The one who hasn’t left.

“How can I be of service?” Hyunjin asks, nuzzling at your neck.

You can’t help but smile at his words, his actions. He’s always ready to please you and it’s never been complicated.

Sunday, November 26th

Chan did not come back to the room that night. He didn’t sleep in the room with you and Hyunjin the entire weekend, as a matter of fact. His behavior with you throughout the day was the same as usual, though. It didn’t appear that he was upset. He even joked around with you and offered a seat on his lap when all the other chairs on the patio were taken. He’s really acting like he has something to prove by abstaining this month, and you really wish you knew what it was.

Maybe you’re thinking too deeply about it…but how can you not? You also don’t want to ruin the growth you’ve made with him, so you don’t bring it up. You do, however, have a plan to hopefully end this silly competition once and for all. To see if you can push him over the edge.

After you arrive home in the afternoon, Chan leaves with some of the other members to run an errand and you know that this is your moment. Hyunjin is somewhat surprised when you tell him you’ll be staying with Chan for the night. He doesn’t question it, just kisses your forehead and says he’ll see you tomorrow.

You shower and take the items you’ll need to Chan’s room and set up as quickly as possible. You’re not sure what time he will be back, so you have no choice but to sit and wait once you’re in place.

You can feel your heart pumping in your ears. A million thoughts are racing through your mind, trying to understand how you got here. Hoping Chan has the reaction you want. You want to win the competition, sure, who wouldn’t in this situation? But you’re also eager to please Chan in a way you’ve never tried before. To give him complete control of you.  

You’re excited. You’re nervous. You’re so out of your element.

You shift around in his bed, really wanting to check the time on your phone but unable to. Your hands are linked together with the furry black handcuffs you got from the mall, looped through a space in his headboard. You have waited all month for this. To catch him off guard, with a sight that is hopefully so shocking he will not be able to resist.

Though you tried to seduce him at other times throughout the month, you still had this wildcard up your sleeve in case none of your attempts worked. Which they hadn’t. So here you are, lying in his bed in skimpy black lingerie. It’s a one piece, lace body suit that’s cut out around the breasts so they’re on full display. The area between your legs is exposed, so you keep your legs bent, knees pressed together. The ensemble is accompanied by black, knee-high stockings and a garter belt.

You could hardly believe the sight looking at your own reflection. You just have to hope it’s enough. And fucking pray no one randomly decides to come in Chan’s room since you had no choice but to leave the door unlocked. You’d be fucking mortified.

Another few more minutes pass and you hear car doors closing in the driveway. Your heartbeat picks up again, fraught with anticipation.

It feels like a lifetime passes before you hear footsteps outside the door. Chan’s laughing at something someone said as he approaches. At least he’s in a good mood, maybe this will work. You sit up as straight as you can with your hands hanging above you.

You hold your breath as the doorknob turns while simultaneously trying to figure out what to do with your face. A cute look? A look of innocence? Seduction? You bite your bottom lip between your teeth, attempting to hide your inner panic and that’s the look you’re stuck with as he enters.

His eyes land on you—exposed and cuffed to his bed—his laugh abruptly stops. His smile falters.

He exhales a loud sigh, drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. You’re chewing on the inside of your lip now as your nerves take over. This was not the reaction you had anticipated. Is he angry?  Frustrated? Put off?

Maybe you shouldn’t have welcomed yourself into his bed. It’s not like you had an open invitation after the night he allowed you to sleep here with him. That hadn’t happened again since, and he hadn’t even mentioned it.

“Chan,” a timid voice says. It’s yours, but you hardly recognize it.

He straightens his head and looks at you again, eyes moving from your head, down to your stocking covered toes. He lets out another loud sigh and runs his hand through his hair. He shakes his head, blinking incredulously as he steps back and retreats from the room.

When the door closes, your heart sinks.

[ picture book for photos of the cabin and lingerie ]

a/n: please don't kill me. this one had to end on a cliffhanger. like, comment, reblog to show your support <3 what do we think, is chan coming back? or is he gonna win this thing?

taglist: @iflmho / @stayatinykatsy / @blackhairandbangs / @ayoitschannie / @idunnomanmynamewastaken / @charmer-c / @ihatemen55 / @channiesprincess / @channniesslefttt / @jiwoos-babygirl / @krayzieestay / @kayleefriedchicken / @sunnyhonie / @cotton-candycloudz / @lubsungie / @conwunder / @puckmaidens / @ashleighland / @hyunjiinnnn / @bmnyy / @ihrtlix / @maqqiekwon / @hynxnelly / @teti-menchon0604 / @you-make-skz-stay / @zandra-42 / @seungminindabuilding / @slytherinatheart / @loveuwoo / @hyunjinhoexx / @chartrucewhore / @torothecatt / @fun-fanfics / @yaorzu-blog / @yjeonginlvr / @huneyeon / @kpop-kink / @tenshimara / @a-person-with-void / @ilovetheworldilivein / @dhillomilo / @skzfelixlove / @luvvvash / @blondechannie / @sailor--sun / @stephanieeeyang / @msauthor / @grlcbrd / @okkkcausewhet / @bangtancultsposts / @wannareadstories / @jenniferlr / @shroomcapp / @lyracarvahall / @palindrome969 / @grandma143

Sky Full of Song - Series Masterlist

summary: Despite the bitter resentment of the crew, you found a home on Captain Barnes’ ship; on the ocean where you belonged, at the side of a captain you swore loyalty and heart to. But when course is plotted for a legendary island, the secret that has kept you alive for years is threatened to be revealed. pairing: pirate!bucky x pirate/siren!reader series word count: ~65k series warnings: taunts of sexual harassment, canon level violence, drowning, history of torture, smut (marked by chapter with a *), established mutual pining idiots, a romantic AF Captain Barnes

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