Loversfms - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

" i'm always in a good mood, " noa insists, but deep down she knows it's not true. she likes things to go a certain way, to flow. when they don't ? it throws her off. and yes, she can be difficult to be around when that happens. and sometimes, admittedly, she holds people to a high standard, more specifically the ones she's closest too. " don't be so dramatic, " it's waved off, as if she hasn't in fact just been overly dramatic, " i don't need a security guard, just a twin brother with a little more concern. i mean, we're connected, ro. don't you sometimes spontaneously sense when i'm in mild distress ? " she feels frustration bubbling beneath the surface, takes a deep breath in order to push it back down. it bothers her sometimes when their parents are brought up in such a way. it's not like it hadn't caused them problems in the past. ones that had caused distance, and she doesn't want to go down that route again. ever. her brother is the single most important person in her life. " you realize i'm not a teenager anymore and have actua, l real-life experience, right ? i own a business, a demanding one that that. i'm well aware of the fact that people aren't going to make life easy for me. " there's a small scoff, a glare that implies he's so wrong. " fashion emergencies always count. besides, i don't throw anything away. i donate it. so if you think about it, multiple people are benefiting from a new wardrobe. " nothing to complain about in her eyes. a win all round. " it's a time where community comes together, so you never know. maybe this will be the year you meet the one. it would help if you were a little more optimistic. "

"hey, whatever brings you joy... happy to be here while you're in a good mood." lord knows how terrifying it could be when noa was in a bad mood. he doesn't think anyone has seen it as many times as he has-- noa can try to deny it all she wants, but ronen knows the truth. which is why he makes no comment about the difference between performing on stage and shopping at whatever boutique she enjoyed most. she had a point-- both were boundary breaking and annoying ( potentially even scary ), but the circumstances were definitely different. "sorry, that was unkind of me. would you like me to look into getting you a security guard? just so we can guarantee your safety?" he rolls his eyes as his sister brings up his tastes-- or lack thereof. it wasn't like he couldn't dress. he was very capable of dressing himself and looking like a grown man. ronen honestly couldn't tell the difference between what his sister dressed him in and what he dressed himself in. "i'm not saying you live in a simulation because YOU DRESS NICE. i'm saying not everyone is going to be as nice and easy on you as dad." a fact in ronen's eyes.

"i'm really starting to regret giving you that key. i'm pretty sure i told you it was FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY, didn't i? and no, fashion emergencies do not count." he rubs the back of his neck as his sister conveniently changes the subject. "nothing really to tell." and that was the truth. which, for a hopeless romantic like ronen, was quite upsetting. still, he wasn't actively searching. "oh yeah, you know how those hanukkah dates just hit different... i'm sure eight days of me is a really good selling point."

she knows it's true, almost feels bad questioning it at all. he has no reason to lie to her, isn't the type to make empty reassurances. but sometimes she needs it. not often, not always with words, but sometimes. over the years there'd been a lot of growth within her, a lot of hiding behind a perfectly curated confident disguise. but beneath the surface was still a girl who'd spent so many years of her life being told that if she didn't almost destroy herself trying to be the best, she could easily be replaced. it's why she doesn't know half efforts, doesn't know how to partake in something without leaving a tiny little piece of her soul in it. and maybe that's the reason she feels so vastly incomplete. but he looks at her and it's like he sees her, really truly sees her. nova thinks he might just be the only person who ever has. how do you not cling to that ? " they won't get the chance to, " she insists, as if it's known fact. if he's forced to retire first she isn't sure what it'll mean for her, but it certainly won't be paired dancing. " i don't trust anyone else, " and she doesn't just mean in the world of ballet, but that she keeps to herself, " i only trust you. " he full names her and her smile grows, soft laughter sounded. but it threatens to catch in her throat when he leans in close, and she couldn't tare her gaze away even if she wanted to. " oh, you're full naming me now ? it must be serious, " she teases, and she dares for a moment to leans in further, let her forehead press against his for a few fleeting moments. it's supposed to be a playful move, but she feels betrayed by the way her heart rattles in her chest like a bird trapped in a cage, desperate to be set free. but again, it's pushed down. forces herself to keep her eyes on his despite the split second temptation to glance down to his lips. " i believe you, and i promise i'll never doubt you again. " with the words out, she pulls back. not too much but enough to ease some of the tension that she's convinced is only felt by her. " and what version of you do i get then if not the beast ? " there's a brief pause. " because you're stuck with me long past then. "

apollo rolls his eyes as nova seems to dismiss his comment. he knows her well enough to know she struggles with her confidence and the relationships she builds, but he'd hope that by now, she'd know him well enough to know he doesn't say things he doesn't mean. one thing apollo was really good at was KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT, so the idea that he'd lie, even to make her feel better, was almost insulting. he waves it off with his hand. "don't start that-- when have i ever told you something i didn't fully believe? in fact, some have called me too honest." perhaps he had enough arrogance for the two of them, because the next words to leave his lips are: "oh, i know. god bless the man who tries to take my spot next to you on stage." it's not even his fault. this many years in, he's seen nova attempt to dance with different partners, and it's never worked out. whether she'd like to admit it or not, she clearly found it EASIER to be with him as well.

"novella campbell," he starts, leaning in so their foreheads are mere inches apart. he makes sure he's looking into her eyes before speaking. "my life is EASIER because you are in it, and you'd really be pulling the rug out from under me if you left it." at the end of the day, nova was the only person outside of his family who really knew what was going on within his family. apollo didn't even want it that way, but when his mother came to surprise him at a performance, there was no avoiding the subject. nova had recognized her immediately for who she was-- song na-ri, esteemed dancer of her time and not the mother of apollo fairbanks. just the look on nova's face when she'd connected the dots was etched into apollo's memory. he felt he had no choice but to come clean. now, he can't imagine nova leaving his life. he had been open with her, and she had made it easy. she listened, she seemed to understand, and she didn't judge. why test the universe by admitting it again when he'd already hit the jackpot of responses? "you hear me? this beast is yours until his retirement."

" okay, and what's your point ? surely you can pick up on peoples auras, you know, their vibe ? i know i don't radiate any kind if ill intent. i'm as positive as they come. " if there's one thing about noa, it's that she'll somehow manage to find an argument to everything. a talent, some might say. " you chakra could use some clearing, honestly. maybe you should look into that. it could give you a clearer perspective. " her eyes roll, and it's not subtle. " don't get all scientific on me, i'm fully aware that your heart is the organ that keeps you alive, but come on, do you really think that's the only reason we're given one ? people literally die of heartbreak. that's the power of the human heart and how deeply it can feel for another person. " she smiles again, like she knows something no one else does. and she doesn't, either, not really. " so your missing a few talents, big deal. i'll tell you one major thing you both have in common, and that's how utterly uncompromising you are. "

"just a reminder-- i don't really know you, so how am i meant to know what your intentions are?" he's deflecting, trying to make it a noa problem instead of an apollo problem. he's been paired off numerous times since he was eleven, whether it be with dance partners or girlfriends, but they all had a ninety-nine percent fail rate. besides, he's not really interested in sharing his life story with NOA BRAUNSTEIN of all people. the girl who couldn't seem to leave things alone. let her catch wind of his history and he fears he'd never hear the end of it. "and you know what? my heart does just what i need it to do. pump blood around my body and keep me alive." he couldn't ask for much more than that. "i believe my mother was going for the whole MUSIC AND DANCE aspect of him more than anything else." perhaps love could be his weakness, if he believed he'd ever felt it. "not really good at archery or poetry, so, him and i don't really have that much in common."

“ sometimes the asshole is good to have on side. this one comes with a sister who is real big on slashing tires, ” he teases, smirk etching into the corner of his mouth. but the smirk fades quickly, is replaced with something softer. a side of him not many people ever get to catch a glimpse of. words provoke a wave of empathy. “ no,” kai shakes his head, swoops away the curls that caress his forehead, “ it’s not cheating. everyone handles it in their own way, not talking about it much doesn't make it any less a part of who you are. " kai had gotten to a place of being fully comfortable with it, but still he wasn't shouting it from the rooftops. he lived his life, and if it came up, he'd say with no hesitation. " oh, " kai soon lets out a quiet huff of air, hands tightening around metal ever so slightly. stirs up a memory he wishes he could forget. so long ago now it makes him feel pathetic that it still creates an ache in his chest. " was she a friend or . . . a friend friend ? " hopes the glance he gives her way lets her know what he means. and after a beat he asks, " why'd you go ghost mode on her ? "

she leans in and lightly smacks his arm as he makes his joke. it's not at all out of character for kai, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't have similar feelings in her lowest and darkest moments. where kai had writing and music, winnie had flowers. different outlets, but definitely bright spots in their lives. friends, though, didn't seem to come easy to either of them. which is why it was so funny they almost never interacted during the day time. she looks down at her hands as he speaks kind words. "well, great. i would be stuck with the ASSHOLE," she jokes, playing with the ring on her thumb finger. "only a couple of years... but i don't really talk about it... is that cheating?" there were people who were loud and proud about who they were-- she'd seem them online, had met them in person... she just didn't feel like she could do that. at least not yet.

"i had this friend back in college... she was so proud of who she was... proud of who i was, even back then... and who is proud of themselves at nineteen?" winnie certainly wasn't, but she was harboring a lot of secrets back then. "we fell out. well..." she sighs. "i kind of ghosted her... okay, not kind of. I GHOSTED HER."