Mark Timestamp - Tumblr Posts

from this tumblr prompt post by @smurfet !

warning/s: angst and crying:(

silence — lmh.

in which he can’t seem to let you love him.

—

you hadn’t really noticed him, he was always quiet and stuck to his small circle of friends. the boy whose hair never seemed to stay one color, the boy who would only laugh when he was among his friends—the boy whose name was mark lee.

“who?” when your friend had pointed out that he was “so checking you out!”, you didn’t really know how to feel.

your eyes meet his for a brief moment—before he’s looking away a slight blush on his cheeks as his friends erupt into a burst of loud laughter. and it was like the world was on his side, because you started to see more of him.

“i’m so sorry!” his smooth voice distracted you from the sound of your books and papers scattering all over the floor. his movements were frantic as he goes to pick up your fallen items. “it’s okay, really.”

he likes to think it was your smile that had his heart racing, the easygoing and friendly one that always seemed to grace your face. that what he was doing—reaching out, trying to get the chance to talk to you even when he had literally no reason to other than the fact that he liked your voice—was totally reasonable. you could be acquaintances, who talked. almost every day.

“so, how’s it going with y/n?” jaemin would casually bring you up, now that you both were talking on a regular basis. mark felt a weird heat rise from his neck to his ears, stumbling to reply to his younger friend.

“it’s alright. she’s a great girl,” the boys around him let out loud whoops, raising their imaginary glasses in a sort of toast. “i’m happy for you.”

renjun’s smile is gentle as he pats mark’s back. he was scared. truly. he didn’t know why he was feeling the way he did and didn’t believe you could return the way his heart was pounding.

but you did. you loved the way he strummed his guitar with a hidden confidence and the way his eyes would disappear as he laughed. the months you both had spent talking were great and he made you feel the most alive.

there were days where you’d catch his eyes on you and the subtle pink tint on his cheeks as he looks away. you’d find him upset when you were wearing someone else’s jacket. you were sure, so sure that he liked you back. that he would catch you because you were falling. falling for the boy who built a cage around his heart so—

“don’t.” you were confused. don’t?

“don’t love me, y/n.” his sad whisper nails you to your spot in front of him. you had your bag over your shoulder and his jacket around your body.

his eyes stared at you, sad and empty as he pleads with you. “i’m not worth it. not worth your love—“

“is that really your decision to make?” your voice comes out softer than you had liked. you didn’t want to cry but you felt your throat closing as the tears stung the back of your eyes. mark watches closely as you gulp down your feelings, face scrunching as you struggle to hold in the emotions wishing to break free.

his heart was breaking, but this was better. wasn’t it?

“i’m—i don’t love you.”

he had forced the words out. he knew he had to. he didn’t want to let himself feel the way he felt around you—because he could see it all leading down the same path.

“oh.”

your dejected face stayed etched in his mind as you walked away. as the tears won over your stubbornness, falling freely down your cheeks even when you were tugging off his jacket. he watched in silence as you disappeared, from him that night—from his life forever.

this was better. he knew it was. but why did it feel like it wasn’t?

—

my mark drabble debut! it’s sad, but i’m trying to get over my writer’s block huhu ;-;