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So I was like. Extremely cutting out on call today. 😭

🎀 Denzel Crocker Romantic Headcanon's 🎀

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He's a hopeless romantic, and he's incredibly inexperienced. Combined making him incredibly awkward. It's very easy for things to go over his head. He might not pick up on the advances made because he's very inexperienced.

He might also not pick up on it because he is very negative, and automatically assumes that no one would ever like him in that way.

I feel like if he were to realize, he'd get extremely flustered.

If he were to go on a date, he'd ask his mom for money for it. He'd try not to tell her what he's getting money for.

"Mother! I need 40 dollars!"

"Oh Denzel, what do you need that much money for?"

"I need money for... Uhm... Uh - The Unsuspecting Van!!! I need to renews its registration!"

if she found out he wouldn't hear the end of it. And his mom would tease and coo relentlessly.

"Oh, Denzel! You have a (bf/gf/partner)! - When am I gonna meet them???"

"Mother, you've met enough people in my life😞"

A lot of his dating knowledge would be like from the 80's/90's. He'd probably dress in a bowtie and flowers and a box of chocolates. He'd have his hair slicked back... He looks silly. He'd even wash up beforehand. If he's too unmotivated to take an actual shower he'd use washclothes on important areas.

He'd probably take you out to get sea food, and he'd order Shrimp Puffs. He'd try to order it discreetly because so many people hate Shrimp Puffs in the town 😞 The waiter would repeat his order loudly and he'd desperately beg them to shush but his date would figure it out anyways😭

From the beginning of the date his face is so red. If you pointed it out he'd blame it on a hot flush, or that he's getting a fever. Sure.

Principal Waxelplax was the last real date he'd had in ages, so he'd be really rusty. Also, he'd probably mention her date a lot, comparing it. Not in a "shes better" way, but in a "oh god am I doing it as good as I did back then?" way.

He'd be worried he's too old, especially if they date is younger. He'd say stuff like "You could do better than an old man like me" even though he's not that old😞

He'd be a very gentleman. He'd hold the door open for his partner, and he'd probably take his coat off and put it on a puddle so your shoes don't get wet (what a dorkus. You can just walk around it you know😭 You don't have the heart to tell him that though).

He'd pull out your chair at the restaurant, he'd refuse to let you pay as he believes he should be the one doing it.

He'd be visibly straining himself to not talk about fairies, but he wouldn't want to put his new partner off. He's trying to hold himself back from launching into a three hour discussion about the existence of fairies. He doesn't want to make his partner uncomfortable or put off, or even worse, laugh at him and leave the date.

He'd try to keep the conversation off of him. He'd ask about you constantly. He's worried he's unaccomplished, and he doesn't want to accidentally trauma dump due to him constantly being negative. He wants his partner to think he's cool and attractive, and not a bummer to be around. He doesn't have many happy memories to share and he doesn't have many fun stories or anything he would find worthy to tell you, besides fairies, but that might drive you off.

He doesn't want you to think he's sad, or mean. If you pass a child, he'd do everything in his power to avoid the kid so that the child won't call him mean or laugh at him in front of the date, or worse - Make fun of you for being seen with him. He'd be so scared of having his date being a target of the jokes. He'd apologize in advance if anyone made fun of him, or you.

He'd give a lot of compliments. The first thing he'd do is compliment your hair, and clothes. He'd be a little nervous about physical contact. He's not used to physical affection, so if any form of physical affection happens I feel like he'd go all red, flinch or go stiff and not know what to do.

He was fully expecting his date to just - Not want to touch him.

His hands would definitely be clammy. Very sweaty. He's probably got hyperhydrosis or something. He'd wipe it aggressively constantly, you can tell he doesn't hold hands often and that he really enjoys it.

He'd be even less used to hugs. At the end of the date he was fully expecting to drop you off and just leave with no words besides a see you later, but if you wanted a hug or kiss he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He'd probably stiffen like a board.

Full straight line stiffening. He'd be so nervous. He probably wouldn't hug back the first time just because he's so shell shocked 😞 If you wanted a kiss you'd have to make the first move, because he's so worried you'll be disgusted by him if he tries. He views himself as a monster 😞

He'd flop into his bed and swoon when he gets home He'd draw pictures.

I feel like if the date went super well, he'd think its a trick, or that it was the cause of fairies. I wouldn't be surprised if he thought that you had fairies. Nobody in their right mind would want to date him. It had to be the work of fairy godparents, right? It might make him even more obsessed with you though.

He'd want to call and go on a second date, but he'd be so nervous. Twirling the phone line wire, and he sounds like he has a frog in his throat when he's asking if you want to go on another date. He'd probably accidentally get his finger stuck in the phone wire. Also, his mom would call upstairs😞

"Denzel, honey! Who are you on the phone with?"

"NO ONE MOTHER!" and he sounds so mad 😞

He'd use his home phone and his mom would pick up to overhear the conversation 😭😭😭 She'd be soooo nosey.

I feel like if she ever met you, she'd make a cake. To celebrate her sons first partner in YEARS. I feel like she'd be the type to ask about grandkids or show baby pictures. Denzel would be HUMILIATED😭😭😭

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