Melts Into A Puddle - Tumblr Posts

*ahem* i will do you the honor of being the first mutual to receive my essay.

YOU SUCK. I HATE YOU. YOU'RE AN EGG. YOU'RE ANNOYING.

you're my snookie dookie cookie rookie nookie lookie zookie hookie sookie jookie tookie wookie ookie bookie kookie slookie trookie mookie qookie pookie and I can't believe we're mutuals because you're genuinely one of the only people i don't have to turn down my crazy for and that's saying something since i always have to turn down my crazy for people. you're so cool and sweet and funny and i love your writing advice and your cracked humor and the fact that we're "rivals". i love bantering with you about birds and food and whatnot. if this is what having an enemy is like, it's AWESOME. i wish more people were as sweet as you, but then again, if you found gold everywhere, it wouldn't be that special, would it?

DEARLY DETESTED ENEMY,

EW DISGUSTING MY INBOX HAS BEEN FOULED BY THEE

"OUT OF MY SIGHT! THOU DOST INFECT MY EYES!" (SHAKESPEARE)

(THIS IS THE NICEST THING EVER OH MY GOD, I LOVE IT AND WILL TREASURE IT FOREVOR. I SWEAR IM GOING TO BE ON MY BYING BREATH AND THIS IS WHAT I'LL THINK ABOUT AND YOU BETTER NOT TURN DOWN THE CRAZY WHO ELSE WILL I TYPE EVRYTHING IN ALL CAPS TO??? SOMEONE WHO IS NOT MY ENEMY!!?? ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THE FROZEN JUICE THING, AHHHH! MY POOKIE ID PROPOSE RN IF YOU WERENT MARRIED (DW AGAIN FOR TAX REASONS), I AM HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED THIS! AND FIRST??? MELTS WITH JOY!)