Min Hes So Attentive When He Realises What Went Wrong - Tumblr Posts
TITLE: Siphoned Guilt
PAIRING: reader x Minho
WC: 9.4K
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever.
SYNOPSIS: things always run smoothly during a scene with Minho - always. But an unintentional lack of proper aftercare can make for a terrible sub drop…
TAGS: smut, unprotected sex, use of a sex toy (vibrator), consensual filming, impact play, mirror sex, sub space (reader), sub drop (reader), overstimulation, orgasm torture, squirting, BDSM, humiliation, mean!Minho, degradation (reader is called ‘slut’ and ‘whore’), swearing, crying (reader), slight angst but resolve.
TAGLIST: @heres-your-ramen2000
MASTERLIST
“Open,” says Minho with his hand extended out to your mouth.
You hum with content, taking everything that he gives you eagerly that a bit of it even spills down your chin. Once you’ve swallowed, Minho uses his thumb to swipe across your lips to collect the residue. He then brings it up to his mouth and sucks it clean.
A scowl falls across your face as your eyes narrow at him, “you did that on purpose.”
“You’re right,” he replies shamelessly. “I just wanted to see your reaction.”
“Course you did.”
“Any good?” He asks you, waiting patiently for your review.
“I’ve had better,” you shrug.
Minho sighs and gently smacks his closed fist on the table, “should’ve gone for the crème brûlée.”
“Next time,” you say to him. “And speaking of next time, when are we up for another scene?”
The question sparks thoughts in Minho’s brain. That was what you were hoping this date would initiate - a discussion for another scene, but also because you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend. The last one from over a week ago is still fresh in Minho’s memory. So far, it was probably one of the best scenes he’s ever had.
All of it leads to him thinking inappropriate things in the middle of a busy, overcrowded restaurant. Oh if anyone could read his mind right now.
“Whenever you’re ready baby,” he answers with a soft smile on his face. “Have any ideas so far?”
You dig your spoon into the pear flavoured ice cream, blinking up once and then back down at the dish, “I might.”
Minho leans across the table, for some reason growing even more giddy on the inside, “I’m all ears.”
“I really liked the last scene - a lot,” you start off. “I liked the intensity and was thinking maybe we could do something similar.”
He’s glad to hear those words and replies, “I’m happy that you liked it. What was one of the aspects that you enjoyed the most?”
“The impact play.”
“I thought that might’ve been one.”
“And then at the end…when you were…were like-”
“Fucking you?” Minho helps you with your sentence there, a little bit too loudly at that.
“Yes,” you continue, hoping your face isn’t as red as it feels. “It was just you that made me do that, not a…toy or anything.”
Minho’s heart skips a beat. His face also feels hot when he hears that it was just him that made you cum as crazy as you did. It’s still fresh in his memory - the first time that he made you squirt. So far since the scene, Minho hasn’t stopped thinking about that very moment.
“Oh yeah?” He winks across at you, playing cool.
Underneath the table, you lightly kick him in the shin for his comment. Being out at dinner discussing bedroom matters wasn’t necessarily unusual. It got you both out of the house to spend some quality time together other than only having sex.
“Anyway,” you clear your throat.
“Shall we say in a couple of days then?” He suggests.
“That works.”
The date had then been settled after dinner. You and Minho both figured that in two evenings time would be fitting to slot in a scene. It’s not always manageable when you’re both busy and then having to make room for the amount of energy that will be expended during and after it.
But you were teeming with anticipation to play again.
A few days to prepare was necessary. It gave you both time to discuss everything and to also get into the correct frame of mind heading into the scene. Being in an unwanted mental space prior to one is guaranteed to cause the scene to go haywire.
As the day rolled around, Minho was equally excited. You both discussed the factors you wanted to cover from the previous scene, and also something new that he wanted to introduce with your consent. After hearing him out, you were on board with his idea.
On the bed, Minho laid out a number of items that were going to be used. He then moves on to helping you fully undress, placing your clothes neatly on the other side of the bed and comes back to pick up the black strands of rope.
“Colour?” he asks you.
“Green.”
With that, Minho begins to create a karada box tie that frames your chest. The method of using shibari is a lot more intricate than standard restraints. The finished product is photo worthy, a precursor as to why Minho had his phone set on the bed too. Once he completes your chest area, Minho then binds your arms together behind your back with another set of rope.
“Now, does anything pinch in any way you feel like it shouldn’t?”
You test the restraint by trying to move your arms just to be sure. The binds are tight and sturdy - nothing too exceedingly uncomfortable which is how it’s meant to be. There’s no sharp, unnecessary or immediate pain that should hinder you throughout the scene.
“No, it’s okay,” you answer.
“Good,” Minho replies.
“Not tying up the rest of me?” You ask, trying to look at his work in the mirror.
“You have no trouble keeping your legs open for me without restraints,” he answers. “I think you’ll be fine for now but I’ll be using some more later.”
You gulp down the embarrassing truth before you wonder why Minho steps around you to grab the mirror and bring it closer to you both. Oddly enough, he then takes a seat on the floor, leaning his back against the end of the bed.
“Over my lap and turn your face towards the mirror,” he instructs.
The last time you questioned him during a scene, he easily put you in your place. But today, you had a strong impression that he’s not going to fuck around, so you move right away.
You stand beside him before kneeling down onto one knee, followed by the other. With his support, Minho helps you down carefully and slowly so that your ass is mainly over his lap and the side of your face is on the floor.
The position isn’t comfortable. But when is it not? That’s how it’s meant to be. You were on the floor during the last scene and this was no different.
“Alright then, colour?”
“Green.”
Smack!
The first hit takes you by surprise that it doesn’t leave you with a whole ordeal of stinging pain. Usually you’re not complacent about Minho’s unpredictability, but for a split second you thought he was going to ease into it.
Not tonight however. Minho is under the intention to absolutely ruin you.
His hand pelts down hard again. You bite down on your lip and submerge in the sting. A couple of more then follow and it doesn’t get any easier. In some cases, Minho’s hands hit harder than any belt or paddle you’ve come across. It almost feels personal when it isn’t.
Then, another one slaps down mercilessly to yank you from your thoughts.
“Fuck,” you mumble quietly to yourself.
“Watch your mouth,” Minho warns, cracking his hand down even harder this time to make your entire body jolt.
He hits down a couple of more times for your remark, reminding you that playing up or misbehaving is not an option. To truly reinforce that rule, he switches to the paddle he had set out earlier.
It’s black, smooth, wooden, and thin. Unlike thicker paddles, this one can leave a sharp sting behind but also makes it feel like some sort of blunt force on impact. You experience it firsthand when Minho smacks it down hard onto your ass.
Shaking on the strike, you try to keep your mouth closed. But even that doesn’t stop you from making inaudible sounds. You moan and whine when Minho starts putting more force behind the paddle. It sucks all of your attention and energy to try and subdue the ever emerging pain which is exactly what he wants.
He understands the science behind a person experiencing pain and the link that has to our fight or flight mode. The more pain he administers to you through impact play, the more of those ‘happy’ endorphins are released into your body to try numb it. The more that’s released, the more chances Minho has of getting you into sub space.
Therefore, right down to the molecular level, even there he wants to ruin you.
To further taunt you, he delicately glides the paddle from the top of your back, slowly down your spine and over your marked ass. It was to plant a thought in your head to make you think you were going to take another hit when in reality, he wanted to keep you guessing. Instead, Minho takes the paddle and glides it in between your pussy.
That’s what unhinges your jaw for moans to keep spilling out and to fill the room as the paddle glides lovingly over your wet clit.
“I bet that feels good, huh?” Minho asks.
“Y-Yes,” you exasperate, squirming under the touch.
He brings the paddle back up and shows you in the mirror. It glistens with your juices which sends you hurtling into embarrassment. Impact play isn’t always considered as foreplay, and yet you’re already wet from it and for what’s to be used in between your legs eventually.
Minho sets the paddle down and decides to feel what’s his for himself. He uses his fingers, toying and teasing your clit so much that it makes your wriggle in his lap. You being so wet makes it effortless for him to slide a finger inside you.
“Of course it does, otherwise you wouldn’t be this wet. Would you?” Minho comments, making you flush with shame.
You don’t respond - you don’t know how until Minho strikes his hand down on your ass again, causing you to take in a sharp breath and clench around his fingers.
“Would you?” he demands for an answer.
“Yes!” You yelp while your arms strain themselves in the rope. “I love it.”
“That’s right,” he says, soothing your asscheek with the palm of his hand. “And that’s what makes you such a slut. Even if I don’t fuck you or tease you, you’ll still get wet for me.”
With that, Minho removes his fingers and spanks you hard once more. From there, the amount of hits you take continue to stack up. You’re unsure of how many you’ve actually clocked, but figured it was reaching a lot when you start feeling the hazy horizon of faded awareness.
It’s where your energy begins to lessen that even trying to nod in response to his comment begins to take a lot out of you. It’s the point in which all your attention then shifts to when Minho suddenly grasps one cheek, forcing moan after moan from your mouth. His other hand spanks down a few times on the other cheek, confusing your mind with two different types of pain.
“Mmm! F-Fuck…please Minho!” You cry out as tears begin pricking your eyes.
The man doesn’t listen and switches tactics. This time he squeezes both of your asscheeks with absolutely no remorse, making you kick your feet and bite down so hard on your lip that you feel like it might bleed.
He doesn’t care if you’re shaking or starting to cry until your tears roll onto the floor. It’s what he knows best to help make your brain slip - pain and pleasure, which he wants to deliver once you’ve reached a peak of no return.
He won’t stop until you’re no longer trembling, until you just start taking it. When your body becomes limp, that’s when Minho knows you’re succumbing to the pain and where it starts feeling good.
“I told you to watch your mouth,” he hissed through gritted teeth and finally released his hands. “Know your place.”
When his hands ease up, he can already see deep burgundy shades of red starting to bruise through your skin. To torture you further, Minho gently massages the flesh of your ass. Your legs strain out in reaction as the pain lingering in over your skin begins to spread and intensify just from those soft touches.
You bite down again, limiting your moans to short, muffled whimpers. Trying to have a handle on your reactions is nearly impossible, not when Minho switches back to spanking you. The pain rises to a point where it’s overwhelming and as a result, you start to hold your breath to deal with the intensity.
Minho’s sharp ears pick up on the lack of sounds you’re no longer making. He pays no mind to it at first, but prompts you soon after so that you’re not going to pass out.
“Breathe,” he says coldly.
Even though his tone was pointed, it was still an instruction and you were going to listen. Relaxing a little bit allows your lungs to start working again. Minho gives your ass a rest, for now.
He gently strokes over your hair and slowly down your spine. His hand glides softly over your marked ass, admiring the fresh and blotchy bruises.
With one firm and final spank, Minho calls an end to the impact play portion of the scene and moves into something as equally as exciting.
“I’ll help you sit up on my lap and then I want you in between my legs,” he says.
Whatever that means you have no idea. Your mind is starting to drift off towards that happy space where time and problems don’t exist. Sooner than later, you realise that you’re sitting on the floor, propped in front of Minho before the mirror. It’s a bit tricky when you have your arms bound, but he manages. Once you’re pressed right up against him, Minho reaches for something behind him on the bed; the other sets of rope and two other items.
Why he chose the mirror, you had no idea. Not in your liquid like mind could you articulate a proper thought. But for Minho, it wasn’t as trivial. After the previous scene, he quickly discovered a new kink of his - mirror sex. Or at least, making you cum in front of a mirror.
Not only does he want to see every part of what you look like when you cum, but he wants you to see it too. He wants you to watch how he can unravel you, how he can make you lose your mind.
“Prop your legs up for me,” he orders.
One by one, you plant your feet on the ground so that your knees bend like Minho’s. He scoots up more behind you, grabs some of the black rope, leans around to the left, and begins tying your ankle to his.
He continues the same action with another set of rope, this time, securing you to him by and under your knee. Minho then completes more of the rope restraints in the exact same places for your other leg - ensuring that you’re tied to Minho himself and not able to move your lower half.
In a semi-lucid state, you’re able to gauge why he wants to do this in front of the mirror. Your legs are spread for the pair of you to see. Although it’s rather humiliating to be so exposed, Minho will never get enough of seeing you so vulnerable like this.
“Look at you,” he whispers.
Too embarrassed to see the reflection, you try to shy away from looking. Instead, Minho uses your hand to gently grip under your chin and face you towards the mirror himself.
“This is what’s going to happen,” he adds sternly. “You’re going to cum - as many times as I say you are, and you’re not going to stop unless I say so.”
Overstimulation. It was a topic of discussion in the conversation you both agreed upon leading up to the scene. Similar to impact play, it also happens to be one of your weak points in the sense that it will effortlessly make you lose your mind.
Minho then reaches for something beside him - a vibrator. This one was different to the toy that he used in the previous. Minho bought it for you a couple of months back and was rather fond of using it on you than a usual vibrator. It can be isolated just over your clit, replicating sucking motions that would have your brain melt in seconds.
The first time Minho used it on you, he managed to make you cum easily in under thirty seconds. That’s how you knew it was going to be tough.
“Colour?” He asks.
Almost too busy trying to mentally prepare yourself, you utter your answer, “g-green.”
Minho acknowledges your response and turns the vibrator on. Thinking he would place it straight over your clit was a bad idea, not when he takes it to your nipple instead.
Your head tips back over his shoulder, “oh my god…”
The sucking motions were nothing short of phenomenal. It’s not exactly where you want to feel pleasure at the moment, but you’ll grasp onto anything to feel good.
You suck in a sudden breath when Minho eventually takes the vibrator to your clit. It was then where you realised that the ropes were beginning to serve their purpose of keeping your legs apart. As much as you want to move them, Minho's strength proves you can’t. They’re open for him, and they’ll remain that way until he’s satisfied.
“Already so wet,” Minho mutters quietly. “You’re going to be a good girl and cum for me right?”
“Y-Yes…” you mumble mindlessly, trying to keep up with the vibrator.
“Good,” he adds smoothly. “But I want to see you actually live up to that answer.”
In this instance it was easier done than said. Minho decides to crank the speed up on the toy, getting you to the edge faster than you could blink back at yourself in the mirror. Before you know it, Minho’s name spills out of your mouth repeatedly.
“Fuck…gonna cum, oh my god. Minho…please.”
“That’s it, cum for me,” he urges you.
Your voice lodges in your throat as the first orgasm of the night washes over you. From there, your eyes screw shut as you fall silent to the pleasure that’s releasing. Minho consumes your expression, watching how you struggle to handle such a big orgasm. Those thoughts rush to his already hard dick.
With one final shudder, the euphoria dies down and Minho takes the vibrator away for a few moments to give you a short rest. But it doesn’t allow any time for you to fully catch your breath by the time he decides to go back in with the toy. Your body trembles upon those fast vibrations.
“Keep your eyes open,” Minho whispers in your ear. “I want you to watch yourself when you cum.”
You’re unsure if you can. There was little to no cooldown between your first orgasm and your next, but either way, it’s clear what your body wants to do and you can’t stop it. With the pleasure building at a speed you’re unable to keep up with, your eyes lock onto yourself in the mirror by the time you actually cum. You’re looking at what Minho has done to you - how he’s swiftly unravelling you.
He can’t take his gaze off of you in the reflection. Never in his life does he ever think he’ll get over the way you look when you cum.
“That’s two,” he says to you, still holding the vibrator over your clit. “Look how much you’re dripping onto the floor.”
As you attempt to turn your head away, Minho counters and holds your jaw to make sure that you can actually see.
“Such a slut for me, huh? Always so wet…always wanting to be fucked,” he whispers directly in your ear.
Your upper body shivers under his warm breath, squirming so much that you're pressing even further into Minho from behind. It gives you the lucrative opportunity to feel how hard he is even though he’s fully clothed. Despite your hands being bound, you’re still able to awkwardly rub against him. At first, he passes it off as unintentional. It wasn’t until you really started to try to touch his dick that he caught onto what you wanted to do.
His hand comes up to latch onto a fistful of your hair and pulls your head back but not enough for you to be leaning over his shoulder. The sting in your scalp makes the pleasure building in the pit of your tummy even more intense.
He presses back into your ear and threatens, “keep trying to touch me and the scene ends.”
“I-I…can’t help it,” you murmur.
“Yes you can,” he hisses. “And you will. You’re not going to get anything in return.”
“I’m gonna cum,” you mumble, ignoring his warning. Minho rolls his eyes. He almost forgot that he was still holding the vibrator to your clit.
“Course you are,” he replies, releasing the grip on your hair.
“Yes, yes…yes, please fuck!”
A quiet string of moans fills the room as you’re forced to watch yourself cum once again in the mirror. Minho feels your legs trembling hard against his own. Gradually, he’s put in some more strength to firmly keep your legs open. To him it proves that the orgasms he’s giving you are getting stronger.
“That was a long one, huh?” He asks you, seeing if he can douse you with any more humiliation. But you’ve passed that point now.
When he brings you to your next few orgasms, your mind has entered another realm. It’s floating somewhere that’s not on this planet as your body becomes even more overstimulated than it already is. The pain from the impact play hasn’t necessarily subdued. It’s definitely aching from your lower half since you’ve spent some time on the ground, but it’s faint.
In addition, you’ve gradually given up on fighting those orgasms. Even though they feel good and you want them to approach at a slow pace, you’re officially just taking them as they come. As a result, Minho no longer has to put any effort into it with his own legs to keep yours apart.
“Gonna give me another one, yeah?”
You’re unsure of whether you can or not. Then again, that’s not up for you to decide. Minho has pushed you to your limits during scenes many times. More than four orgasms is the optimum limit before you start losing your mind. But at this point, you’re way beyond that.
You’ll cum regardless if you think you can or not. As long as Minho continues to hold that vibrator against your clit, you will cum.
“P-Please…” you whimper, anticipating the buildup to explode inside of you.
“Please what?” Minho questions impatiently.
“I…I need to…” your attempt at a reply was futile but genuine. Your body feels like it’s going to burst but your brain can’t help you get the sentences out.
“Need to, what?” he asks with a sharp tone, growing obviously impatient. “Use your words properly.”
Before you can even carry out his instruction, you’re already coming. Your eyes screw shut, your mouth parts, and nothing but Minho’s name comes out. You can’t help but tremble and shake as the vibrations rattle your entire body. He watches it all gloriously unfold in the mirror.
“I suppose that’s seven then,” he says in a very condescending tone.
As much as he wants to continue with the vibrator, he decides to switch it off. From there, the room falls quiet - apart from the jagged breaths you take after finally being able to rest for a few moments. Or so you thought once again.
Minho sets the toy to the side then picks up his phone. He swipes his thumb across his screen to set his camera on and switches to video to start recording. You’re unaware of what’s entirely happening, but remember faintly that it was one of his ideas in the conversation leading up to the scene.
“How would you feel about me taking a video?” He suggested to you earlier on.
“Of the whole thing? Do you even have enough storage for that?” You replied.
“Well, not all of the scene. Just one part. But what are your thoughts on me doing that?”
Sure there were a lot of questions around what was going to happen next, but Minho is a good man, he’d never in his life or in his next ever use it against your will. It’s just solely for his own entertainment whenever he needs you and you’re not around. If anything, it’s hot knowing that he can get off to a video of you…
“I’m okay with that,” you said to him clearly.
From that conversation, Minho managed to factor that risqué essence into the scene just by taking a video.
“Dripping on the floor,” he says to the camera, capturing the images through the reflection of the mirror.
The fact that he’s not directly talking to you but to the video instead is some inviting form of being objectified. It makes you feel like a ‘thing’ that he’s referring to. Either way, it’s not like you’re able to respond to his remark. You’re bound to cum, both figuratively and literally.
Only this time, it’ll be with his fingers. At first, he teases your entrance, trying to trick you into thinking that he's about to finger fuck you. At the same time, he manages to focus the camera on his hand where it glistens, making sure he captures it all.
“This is how badly she wants to be fucked,” Minho boists, then brings his hand up to your mouth.
He doesn’t even need to tell you to open up. You’ve become so pliant that everything you do is just purely automatic. His fingers ease and glide over your yielding tongue, tasting yourself as he explores your mouth - all on camera, all for him.
“Such a good slut for me,” he praises.
After a few lingering moments, he pulls his slick fingers away and takes them down to your clit like he’s in a hurry to make you cum. Your body stiffens for a few seconds as he draws light circles over the over sensitive nub, then inserts one digit. It’s a relieving sensation to have something inside you. Although it’s not Minho’s dick, it just seems to take the edge off.
But unfortunately, he doesn’t decide to finger fuck you. He just continues to massage and rub over your sensitive clit for the video he’s still filming. The wet sounds and tiny puffs of air mixed with inaudible moans coming from your mouth are all captured for him - something that he can rewatch whenever he feels like it.
Whimpers and mewls begin to strain from the back of your throat. The strong sensation ploughs mercilessly throughout your body, tremoring in its wake.
“There we go,” he whispers. “You’re getting louder, I almost thought you were getting camera shy on me for a second.”
The transition from a high speed vibrating toy to Minho's fingers is unfathomable. He’s so attentive, teasing, and just good at what he does. It almost makes you wonder how he can do what he’s doing before the two of you met…
…that thought seems to stay longer in your brain. But it’s not currently strong enough to lull you right out of sub space. For now, you ready yourself for another eye rolling orgasm that Minho gives to you all while he films it. Through the lens and the reflection of the mirror, he studies your expression as you cum.
He basks in the tiny moans from your mouth as he brings you to your next orgasm.
“Min…I’m cumming,” you utter quietly just before that wave hits.
“That’s it,” he plants a kiss to the side of your head while continuing to film as your orgasm washes over you completely. “Be a good whore and cum for me.”
The thread that your sanity has been hanging on had snapped a while ago, but now even more so now that Minho is still completely ruining you just with his fingers. It’s more personal and attentive.
Seconds later, your orgasm tilts hard once more, with your eyes fluttering back and barely any sound coming out of your mouth. Just seeing you so unhinged is enough for Minho to abandon his phone and begin untying the rope around your legs that binds you to him.
His hands work quickly to undo all of the knots. The sick frantic feeling inside him boils hotter than ever now that he’s seconds away from being able to fuck you. All he has to do is help carefully lower you onto the floor once again - face down ass up.
Minho grins when he sees the blooming bruises over the flesh of your ass from impact play earlier on. He slaps a cheek once, but you barely feel any pain. As expected from a person deep in the realms of sub space.
“You’re gone aren’t you?” He practically asks the question to himself since there’s no chance of him getting a response.
One second you hear the rustling of his pants and in the next you feel the tip of his cock gliding gently over your slit.
“Yes, fuck-“ he hisses, one of his hands already gripping your ass again. His head tips back as he pushes the tip in slowly then back out. Slowly but eventually, Minho has stuffed you full to the absolute hilt.
“Shit,” his eyes almost roll to the back of his head from the wet heat wrapping around his dick.
Despite how extremely overstimulated you are, there's a relief that spreads throughout your body as a triggered response to be filled out by his cock. On top of the dull pain that’s put you under and the haziness your brain is submerged in, you still feel pleasant. That satisfaction of finally being able to clench around something is enough for more euphoria to start building once more.
Minho then eases himself into a steady pace. If he starts fucking too hard, too fast, he’ll cum before he gets the chance to say so. But Minho’s needs are insatiable at this rate. The minute his cock is inside of you, all of his rationale is out the gate.
So he caves into his own greed. He snaps his hips forward, harder and faster, swearing under his breath in the process. You can almost feel his fingernails dig into the skin of your ass when he begins approaching the edge of his own orgasm.
With a few shallow thrusts, he takes it slow for a short while, “feel…so good,” he mutters to himself.
The pressure rises in the pit of your stomach to an unfathomable intensity. That dense sensation grows so much that you hold zero idea of how hard it’s going to hit. Meanwhile, Minho continues to thrust at a pace that satiates his own needs without cumming too early. But the feeling of your walls clenching unintentionally around him makes it difficult to hold back.
With your inability to count in the present moment, in some far away thought, you knew you were about to cum again. Minho knew it too, he could feel it happening in real-time when began hitting that very spot that can make you spasm without warning - make you cum without warning.
It happens too fast for your mind to catch up, but the burst or euphoria explodes rapidly throughout every cell in your body. The feeling is indescribable, making you tremble and squirt for Minho as you’re about to hit that wave.
“Min…p-please, I’m cumming…” you strangle with the words for them to come out of your mouth.
“I know baby, cum for me…one more time.”
There was no controlling it but Minho couldn’t give a shit. He wants it - needs it. To feel and see just how much he’s making you cum. It’s on the floor, almost making your knees slip as Minho fucks into you harder than he’s ever done tonight.
You can’t see the sick grin on his face when he realises what he’s made you do.
“That’s it,” he sighs from the relief he’s getting while your walls clench around him.
Minho breaks through into pure ecstasy. He feels high on how good the sensations are right now. It’s not too long after a few more decent thrusts before he starts spilling white inside of you, coating your walls and gripping your hips.
He needs to give himself some time to come down from that. The sheer intensity of his own orgasm makes him think how you were even able to handle more than five in one go. Then again, he knew in the back of his mind that you could do it.
He gently slides out of you, pulling up his pants and leaning back on his heels to admire the view he created while he catches his breath. It then dawns on him that he needs to get you out of your restraints.
He unties your arms first before helping you sit up. It feels good to not feel so restricted anymore. But even though the rope is gone, it still feels like it's there. Even when you make it onto the bed on your own - without his help, your entire body feels like it’s bound.
“I’ll be back.”
You hear Minho’s voice in the distance as he walks out of the room. Everything is cold and filled with silence. It’s not something you've experienced after an intense scene. It’s not doable to speak because you lack the energy to speak up.
There’s a low buzz in your brain from the point where Minho had gotten up from the floor. From what you can recall, Minho had made you cum more times than you can almost count on both hands. Having one orgasm takes enough energy out of a person let alone at least nine - one after the other from repetitive overstimulation.
All those ‘feel-good’ chemicals in your brain have suddenly dried up, creating cold moments of self-awareness where the pain Minho had unleashed is starting to catch up to you. The realisation becomes entirely sobering that it feels like there is more pain than what was initially there to begin with. Your ass stings, throbs, and burns. Not in the way you normally welcome.
Even with him in the same room getting ready to clean and sterilise the equipment he used, something just doesn’t feel right. You feel cold and empty but unsure of what it actually is to make a full assumption.
The other half of your attention is drawn back to what just took place. In some aspects, you were caught up with the idea that maybe Minho might’ve felt annoyed or even dissatisfied with your performance. He said you were loud, had to tell you to breathe, to not touch him when he said you weren’t allowed…
When everything began to stack on top of each other and your guard was down, insecurities seeped in. As a result, you just felt like a gross, icky, and used thing. As that thought hits, you feel tears well up in your eyes. To avoid raising suspicion from Minho, you prop yourself up from the bed and start heading for the shower.
“What are you doing?” He asks, watching you.
“Having a shower,” you answer, wobbly on your feet. Your throat was a bit croaky, having not been able to speak properly in over an hour.
“But, you don’t want to lie down a bit more?” He questions. “That scene wasn’t easy-“
“No, it’s okay,” you interrupt him. “I just need one now.”
Minho’s eyes scan your expression. If you’re okay, then he is. The only issue is that he doesn’t truly know that you’re not okay. You understand that it’s something you should tell him immediately, but with the state of mind that you’re in, something tells you that he doesn’t care.
He watches you cautiously once more and takes your word for it, “alright then.”
In the end, the shower didn’t help anything. It made space to recollect the past hour which invited unwanted thoughts. You began to linger on Minho’s words from before that had notes of disappointment and disdain for how you performed.
All these insecurities you would’ve have ever thought you had in bed, just kept popping up in your brain. It made you wonder what Minho actually thought of you - if he really loved you.
That thought would float around in your mind for the next few days post-scene. It threw you off wanting to complete any work whatsoever. In the end, you just narrowed it down to being in a bad slump, right until you hit rock bottom the next time you and Minho decided to have sex days later.
It was an odd feeling.
You were horny and needed him terribly, but that never surpassed the level of the empty and cold feelings in your chest. It was a strange thought, but you wondered maybe if you and Minho did have sex, that emptiness would disappear - both figuratively and literally.
It wasn’t long until there was an answer to your question. After fifteen minutes of foreplay, you had already been made to cum once after Minho was desperate to go down on you. It wasn’t the best of orgasms that you’ve had, but it had nothing to do with his performance.
When he did eventually start fucking you, you then realised that your brain was too preoccupied with stuffing those feelings of emptiness down. You weren’t in the moment, tainted by whatever dark hole you seemed to be slipping down.
You had been so deeply focused on trying to cum once more to make up for the first orgasm that by the time it hit you, it fizzled out before it started. Frustrated, angry, and sad, all of those emotions combined were enough to make you cry. The tears had rolled down the side of your face only to be soaked up by the pillow below.
Minho had mistakenly assumed that you did cum and pulled out once he finished himself off inside of you. From there, you didn’t think the awful feelings could get any worse.
It began to bleed into other parts of your life in the days afterwards, like when a couple of your friends noticed you had gone quiet on them after they invited you out multiple times.
‘If Minho is holding you hostage, lmk and I’ll come get you’, a text from Chan read.
‘Class is boring without you. Who’s notes am I going to copy? :(‘, another text came through from Jisung.
The guilt settled in from not contacting them back. Even seeing them from a distance on campus but not able to show your face made it all the more worse. You just didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even Minho. It helped that he was busy and distracted with his own studies, but the second you stopped responding to his texts too, the thought occurred to him that something wasn’t right.
It occurred to him during one of lectures to talk to you afterwards at home, so decided to make a mental note about it and waited for you to return.
To his disappointment, you weren’t home by the usual time after you finished for the day. He decided to wait another half an hour before texting you to ask where you were. Again, falling short, he never received a reply from you. It wasn’t only until an hour and a half later did you finally return back to the apartment.
Minho emerges from the lounge, meeting you at the front door, “hey baby, did you get my texts?”
You pause for a second, meeting his eyes and noticing that he looks rather shaken yet relieved. While trying to figure out why, you reach for your phone in the back of your pocket and switch it back on.
“Why was your phone off?” He prods with another question.
“I was out,” you respond honestly then look down at your screen to see a few messages from him. “Oh, now I see your texts.”
Minho doesn’t take his gaze off you when you place your phone away again and go to hang your keys on the hook by the door. He’s trying to articulate your body language and why you’re not meeting his eyes. To him it makes it look like you have something to hide.
“Out?” He asks. “Who were you out with?”
“Yeah, just with Chan and Jisung. I haven’t seen them in a while and we decided to catch up,” you answer.
Minho would never suspect you of cheating, yet there was just something about your odd behaviour lately that made him think otherwise. He felt like a terrible boyfriend for even thinking anywhere along those lines. But the second he heard you were with Chan and Jisung, he could breathe a little easier.
“Okay,” he nods, sighing with relief to himself. “Has everything been okay lately?”
That sinking question makes you feel sick. You don’t want to talk about anything simply because you don’t feel like it and also because you don’t know how. It’s been a difficult week trying to climb yourself out of a hole that you didn’t know how you ended up in.
“Yeah, I’ve been really tired lately and I’m not getting proper rest,” you answer, moving past him to get to the kitchen.
“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” he trails behind you shortly after. “All your texts have been saying the same thing for the past week.”
You sigh, trying further to get him off your case, “because I have been. There’s not that much to it.”
Minho can see the wall you’re putting up. There’s no point trying to climb it because all you’ll do is build it higher to the point where you’ll shut down even further. He needs to figure his way around it.
“Okay,” he says quietly. “How about you take a couple of days off to get some rest?”
“I can’t,” you answer. “I’ve got tests and tutorials and exams coming up that I need to prepare for.”
“Yeah but, you can’t just run yourself to the ground babe,” Minho digs his hands into the pockets of his pants. “You’ll burn out before our semester ends.”
“Isn’t that how University is though? It’s just a few sacrifices, it’s nothing new,” you respond defensively.
The wall keeps going up…
Minho backs down, plays it safe. He doesn’t want to prod too much to the point where you won’t tell him anything. At that moment, he thinks of the future. Even though you’re both on the brink of an argument, he’d do everything in his power to help resolve it. He thinks fighting is pointless, but it’s inevitable at times.
“Alright,” he nods, taking a step closer towards you. He slowly leans down and kisses you gently on the cheek, something he hasn’t done in a while. “I’m sorry baby. I just want you to be healthy and to look after yourself.”
Looking after yourself - it’s not something that you’ve done for the past seven days. It’s a shit feeling too. You’ve felt so down and depleted, running low on energy. Being around people - particularly the one you love, has acted as an agitator for you to avoid him.
You can’t believe your emotional instability within this past week as everything kept descending into a spiral that feels impossible to get out of. The blessing in disguise is that Minho can see all of that written on your puzzled and worried expression.
His initiative kicks in before his hands pull you into his body for a well-needed hug. It’s not for his own selfish reasons of just wanting to feel you close to him, but because he senses something isn’t right.
“I’m sorry you’re not feeling the best, baby. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on right now, but I’ll still be here,” he says softly.
His firm hold around you, his warmth, touch, it’s all enough for the glass to crack beneath your feet. For you to start falling into sadness once more. Even though you don’t let onto it, tears start falling from your eyes. When you breathe in and shudder, that’s when Minho realises you’re crying.
Minho’s eyes widen and his brain comes to a screeching halt. It’s been days since you’ve started feeling like this and there’s only one reason he could conjure as to why.
“How long have you felt this way for?” He questions.
You gently pull away from him, rubbing your eyes with the backs of your sleeves, “since the last scene.”
“The last…that was a week ago?”
“I know,” you answer defeatedly, and with guilt. “Right after the scene I didn’t feel good, and I know - I know, I should’ve told you. But I just thought that…for a second, about something but it just…put me off.”
“Say it, please,” he urges softly. “I’m not going to be mad or offended, whatever it is.”
He’s right. This is a safe space to roll out these issues, Minho has always assured that.
“I just thought for a moment that you didn’t love me or care or something like that,” you answer truthfully.
In Minho’s brain, that accusation would sound ridiculous if he didn’t have any context from you. But given what sub drop can do to a person, he’s not surprised you would think along those lines.
What he is surprised about is the fact that he let this happen. To not take care of you properly after the scene when that’s probably one of the most important tasks.
“Well, you should know that, that’s not true,” he says. “I love you like you wouldn’t believe it, and I actually find it hard trying to articulate how crazy I feel about you sometimes. I’m not just saying that because of what you said, but I need you to understand that I mean every word.”
It was a big statement coming from Minho. You know that he loves you and he will say it when he can, but he’s a man of very few words. Acts of service is typically his love language. But if he needs to reassure you, he will.
But that’s when the devastating realisation crushes him. He didn’t think there was a possibility of this happening but given the behaviour you’ve exhibited, he couldn’t be any more right in his assumption.
“I think you might be in a sub drop,” he adds, feeling even more terrible as he says it aloud.
When Minho calls it as it is, things start making sense. The crying, the sadness, burden of insecurities, avoiding Minho, losing motivation for just about everything, and that impending downward spiral you kept slipping into.
You’ve never experienced sub drop. Minho has educated you on it and did everything in his power to prevent it from happening such as aftercare. He knows that it’s the best sub drop preventative after a scene.
The absence of it is an incentive for sub drop to occur - even after vanilla sex in some cases. That’s how Minho knows that he’s messed things up. He allowed things to fester like this for an entire week.
Then something equally as horrible crosses his mind.
“You said you’ve been feeling like this since the last scene,” he says. “Which means…you would’ve been in a drop when we had sex.”
You stall for a second, remembering that night vividly, “yes - but, I wanted to do it with you so bad because I needed you, but I was also hoping that the bad, empty feeling would go away after.”
“And it didn’t?”
You shake your head, “no.”
“I’m sorry baby, I really, truly am,” Minho sighs, mad with himself. “The moment you feel off during or after a scene, please try to let me know. Tell me what you need me to do and it’ll be done.”
You nod, hoping it’ll never actually happen again in the future. But there’s no guarantee. The best thing you can do is exactly what Minho suggested; talk. Even if and when it does happen, it’ll be a lot smoother than letting things boil over within a week.
“What went wrong for you at the end of that scene? Please don’t feel bad for saying anything, I want you to be honest so that it never happens again.”
If you had to be honest with him, it would’ve been the lack of contact post-scene. Minho took off your restraints and immediately began cleaning and packing things away. There were no usual words of affirmation, no cuddling - there was just nothing soothing about it.
It also didn’t help that you decided to shower, but that was after the fact.
“I just wanted you to be beside me,” you answer. “But I also just ran off into the shower without saying truly why.”
Something as simple as that stumps Minho. He could’ve helped prevent you from dropping had he just bought you back down from sub space properly. But he also doesn’t want you to lose trust in him not just as a dom but also as your boyfriend.
"Thank you for telling me baby," he replies quietly.
“I promise in the future that I’ll let you know if somethings not right. I know it won’t be as easy as it is said, but I can try.”
A small smile spreads on Minho’s face before he pulls you back into his body once more. Hearing the word ‘future’ calms him down. So long as you’re there with him, nothing else in the world matters.
"Just know, I always care about you, and I always love you."
——————
A/N: well, after however many months hiatus, I FINALLY updated. I can’t tell you how many times I rewrote this because I wasn’t happy with it but hey. At least I’m back! Please let me know how this was - also, there’s bound to be mistakes in here even though I’ve proofread it a few times so I’ll come back and smooth those out later!
Thank you for being patient with me and for waiting! I’ll try my best to upload consistently.
- Rose x