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oh my goodness this is so good i can’t wait for part two !! ❤️
I'm back :3c
Angst idea - Mc struggling to feel like their own person after the whole reveal of them being Lilith's descendent. The slight slip ups from the brothers (minus Satan, obv he didn't really know her,) the small comparisons from the angels that might've known her that make it appear that mc is now a stand in for her or that their new-found worth/importance only comes from their relation to Lilith.
You know me so well. I love angst so much lol. GN!MC as always <33 Since this got so long, the entire fic is under the cut lol. Might continue in a part 2 if this gets enough attention. If you notice my bias for solomon, no you don't
Am I Even Me?
WC: 1.5K
No Romance, but it could be romantic/platonic between Solomon depending on interperitation
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16, existential crisis/MC knows that they aren't the original MC, some harm done to MC by Lucifer (nothing extreme, just bruising), CURSING, Escaping/running away, talks of murder/death, MC gets compared to Lilith
GN!MC
The brother’s behavior is different than it used to be. Verbal and physical mannerisms have changed, both subtly and not.
At first, you didn’t notice it and thought that the brothers were just warming up to you even more. It was hard to notice at first, but the more it happened, the harder it was for you to ignore.
When receiving little trinkets and candies and treats from the brothers that you never knew existed became more frequent, you started to suspect something was up. For example, Beelzebub goes out of his way to make special snacks and treats just for you. Asmodeus has given you articles of clothing and accessories that are definitely not your style and it has gotten to the point where you need to store them in a box under your bed. Every time you look at them or any other gift the feeling of not being seen as your own person crawls up your neck.
However, Belphegor’s behavior is the most noticeable. You find him unpredictable, off kilter in a way. When you first met, he seemed lonely and in need of company. You were blindsided when the switch flipped and he started to rant about how much he despised humans like you. He killed you, then you came back, told the story your ancestor Lilith told you, and now everything seems hunky dory. Just like nothing happened. You never really felt safe alone with him since then, even with his new sweeter mannerisms.
How many times have the brothers almost called you Lilith? The ‘L’ being slurred in before your name is getting annoying. Sometimes you hear Beel and Belphie whispering to each other about you reminding them of their younger sister. Mammon is the least guilty of it and Satan has never compared you to her. It’s hard to compare someone you know to the sister you have only heard of.
The angel Simeon isn’t without fault, either. When he said that you hold yourself similarly to Lilith has played on repeat ever since he mentioned it. It makes you feel like you aren’t your own person. You’re tired of it, but you have to endure.
But you can’t help but think. Are they seeing you as you, or as her?
When dinner time rolls around and you join the brothers at the table, you idly chat about classes with Satan and Mammon. The chatting continues as you and the brothers pass around the various dishes of food and take your servings before passing it on.
Cutlery clinks against the plates and bowls once everyone begins to eat. It’s the peaceful type of quiet that doesn’t need to be filled with chatter. AS usual, the silence doesn’t last forever.
“Could you pass the gravy, Lilith?” Leviathan asks.
He quickly realizes his slip up. Leviathan stammers as he corrects himself.
That was the stick that broke the camel’s back. Every other time the brother’s have caught themselves before her full name slipped out. It was never subtle, but they tried to stop themselves from saying her name.
You have had enough, “Do you think I haven’t noticed?”
Beelzebub is the one to reply, “What do you mean, MC?”
Your anger grows and you announce, “Do you think I haven’t noticed that you all have been giving me things I have never asked for or talked about? Foods that I have never heard of or sweets that don’t exist in the human realm? They were all for Lilith, weren’t they?”
It’s Asmodeus that speaks this time, “Oh, MC. We didn’t mean… You just-”
“Just what? Just remind you of her? Even Simeon has mentioned her to me.”
Mammon looks like he wants to say something too, but stays silent.
Tears collect on your lashes, “Is that all I am? A replacement for your dead sister?”
Every single one of the brothers falls quiet as they are caught off guard by your outburst.
Frustrated with the silence, you demand, “Answer me! Am I a stand in for your fucking sister!”
Lucifer breaks the silence first by slamming his hands on the dining table, silverware and dishes clinking as a result. “MC, that’s enough!”
“No! If anything, you’re one of the worst about it! Everyone has been ignoring the fact that Belphegor fucking killed me! That whole incident has been just swept under the rug! And on top of that, you all have slipped up and nearly called me her name except Satan.”
Beelzebub stands, about to defend his twin when Satan stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
You take a step towards Lucifer and continue, anger and confusion getting the better of you, “Am I even me? I saw my own dead body! I don’t even belong in this damn timeline! What if I wanted to stay in my timeline? What if the Belphegor in that one didn’t hate my guts and didn’t want me dead? I can’t remember my own life because I was forced to take the place of the MC your brother fucking killed!”
“MC, I said enough!” Lucifer bellows and grabs your wrist.
You wince as his hand wraps around your arm. His grip is strong, much harder than necessary and you know it will bruise. You know how he can be when he’s angry, and the sudden reality of what he could do hits you. Anxiety pulls at your lungs. None of the brothers move, though they look like they want to interfere.
“Oi, Lucifer. Let MC go!” Mammon demands, getting up from his seat and preparing to jump the table at the eldest.
The break in his concentration allows you to wrench your arm from Lucifer’s grip. You run. You recognize the voices of the brothers yelling out to you, but you pay them no mind. Your legs carry you out of the dining hall, up the stairs, and down the halls.
You slam your door and slide the lock in place. It wouldn’t hold against the brothers’ strength if they really wanted to get in, so you take time to shove your armoire in front of it. The piece of furniture is heavy and takes time to move. By the time you have it where you want it, your adrenaline has worn off and your arms are shaky.
With your DDD in hand, you call the only other human you know in the Devildom. It wouldn’t be long before one or more of the brothers would try to talk to you. Eventually, you would need to talk to them about it. Just not tonight.
As your DDD rings, you hastily pack clothes into a duffel bag. It’s difficult with one hand and a bruising wrist, but you manage. Just before the last ring, the other line is finally picked up.
“MC, why are you call-”
“Solomon,” you sniff, cursing yourself for still crying, “can I stay at Purgatory Hall tonight?”
Despite his arrogant facade, you can hear concern creeping into his voice, “Is everything alright?”
“I… Yes? Just come get me. Please. And be quick. I don’t know how long my door will hold.”
“I’ll be there in a minute. Call me again if something happens.”
Solomon hangs up and you finish packing your essentials. You pace with your bag over your shoulder, thinking he will appear in your room any second. Your thoughts are interrupted by your DDD ringing once again. You pick up.
Solomon starts, “I’m under your window. I’m unable to teleport into your room. There is a strong protection ward over the dorms.”
You hang up and run to your window and unlock it. Opening the window, you spot the sorcerer down below. Solomon opens his arms and motions for you to toss your bag down. He catches the falling luggage with ease.
Solomon faintly mutters something and a thick plant sprout shoots up to your window and forms a little platform in front of you. His magic never ceases to amaze you as you climb out of the window and onto the little step. The sprout shrinks back into the earth, bringing you down with it. As soon as your feet touch the ground, Solomon’s hand grabs yours and he gives you a quick warning before the two of you are teleported to Purgatory Hall.
The two of you arrive just outside the front entrance to Purgatory Hall and Solomon leads you inside. He shows you to the common room and sets your bag down besides the couch.
“I’ll be right back,” Somon says, “I’m going to go start some tea. Please make yourself comfortable in the meantime.”
You nod and he leaves the room. You sit down and rub the dried tears off of your cheeks. Out of curiosity, you check your DDD to see several messages from Mammon. He’s always been the most protective. Emotionally drained, you power down your DDD to avoid any messages or incoming calls.
A few minutes pass and Solomon comes back with a tray of fresh sweets and tea. You’ll deal with the fall out tomorrow.
《 I hate and love you 》
PROMPT: “It sucks because I want to hate you, but I can’t.”
Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, confrontation, angst with a happy ending
Mammon-centric, slight demon brothers bashing (it gets SOMEWHAT better I swear on my life as a writer), it might also be ooc so I hope I got it right.
TW: Implied alcohol abuse and mentioned drug usage
His accent also comes and goes and I'm too lazy to fix that lmfao
Now, Mammon is a strong demon. As the second oldest and second strongest just below Lucifer he is someone powerful and rightfully feared by many demons and humans alike.
He rules over one of the 7 layers of hell and was—still is—Lucifer's right hand man since the beginning of their time.
However, despite the amount of things you hear from demons and humans, the truth behind close doors is something that would completely alter your perception of the 7 princes of hell.
Leviathan himself admits that he could never defeat Mammon in a fight and he's the third oldest.
But because of the fact that Mammon is the second born, powerful and all, he is forced to stay strong. To remain unaffected by the negativity and continue to rule over his part.
Remain unaffected.
Stay strong.
So he does, he lets his brothers feel comfortable enough to hurt his feelings. To tell him he's weak when he's not, to call him scummy, a douchebag, and to kill himself.
His brothers truly love him, no?
He loves all his brothers. He wouldn't swap them for anything, but the real question is would they swap him for anything?
He tries not to think hard about it, he can't show any form of weaknesses. Not even to himself.
Weakness.
He simply will not allow it.
If Lucifer could then why can't he? He's his right hand man, he must always be the great Mammon, otherwise, how would Lucifer feel relaxed and do his own work? Lucifer stands to help them live, Mammon protects his brothers if not from physical harm. That's his duty as the second born.
He was never good at lying so he simply never say anything and quickly changed topic while trying to act as normal as possible, he doesn't want his brothers' pity. Not in the absolute slightest.
But acting like nothing's wrong also meant that he had to take regular emotional beatings from his brothers.
It wouldn't have hurt as much if they weren't brothers, but they were. They knew each other for thousands of years, they've been together through even the darkest times so the amount of hurt it gave Mammon whenever they insulted him was like the fall all over again.
The pain in his heart, the agonizing pain as his head and back grew an extra set of body part was incomparable to hearing them say derogatory words towards him.
He was the one that swallowed his own feelings to take care of his brothers when they first fell.
He took care of Lucifer when his Pride wouldn't let him rest.
He stayed awake with Leviathan when his insomnia gets the best of him.
He helped Satan sneak in some cats and took the blame for it.
He made sure Asmodeus didn't get any disease from his outings every night.
He made sure Beelzebub is always fed but not overfed.
He was the one that brought Belphegor back to his room when Beelzebub wasn't home.
He took care of them when their body couldn't stomach the hellish food, he made sure they ate something to tide the hunger.
He made sure they slept when the nightmares were too awake for their liking.
He made sure they were healthy, happy, and safe when no one else could.
He did the dirty work when no one liked them.
How was that any fair to him? Sure they didn't ask for it but he still did it anyways, he made sure to keep them alive and well to survive.
He would have done so anyways even if it wasn't needed.
He loves his brothers after all.
The alcohol intoxicated his head, it flowed throughout his body and it felt like he was flying.
Mammon rarely ever gets drunk you see and because of that, he's a lightweight but not as much as Belphegor and the others. Compared to Asmodeus and Lucifer he definitely is a lightweight.
He comes home drunk with a bottle of Demonous in hand, he drank 3 whole bottles which is way past his usual limit.
He rarely gets drunk because of his modeling gig.
His headaches get so bad with flashing lights and he's very irritable which won't be good if demons started avoiding him, he needs money too.
What time was it? He didn't have his phone with him.
He practically breaks down the door if only it wasn't already opened to begin with, as if someone was waiting for him to come home.
"Mammon."
He lifts his head up, "....Hah?" He slurs.
Lucifer sighs, "You promised to come home early tonight for family movie night. Why are you drunk? And it's an hour past 'early'."
Mammon frowns. He stumbles when he walks in and pushes past Lucifer then down to the common room.
"Mammon!" He ignored his brother's call.
He gulps the last of the Demonous and throws it across the hall, shattering the glass into millions.
He didn't know what he was doing.
His body burned with alcohol and some sort of drug that helps him get high and completely forget about it all, he didn't want to do it but it just felt so enticing.
He didn't notice how his brothers flinched at the shattering of glass.
His eyes were gold, all previous self control be damned.
"Mammon, are you... Drunk?" Satan frowned, he wasn't a huge fan of drinking. He hated the scent of alcohol and Belphegor could relate too but his twin sometimes drinks and it helps him fall asleep faster.
"'m not drunk!" He slurs, he was louder than usual which was a sign itself.
"Are you high?" Asmodeus would know.
"No!"
"You are." Lucifer sounded angry, but Mammon wasn't really Mammon at the moment.
"I said, 'm not drunk." He walks up to the eldest and glares.
"You're so hostile, you're not usually like this Mammon." Leviathan scans the older demon cautiously, as if he would pounce at any given moment.
"Me? 'm always like this! What do ya mean!?"
"You're usually loud and arrogant, scummy and very stupid but right now you're neither of those things other than loud." Belphegor continued.
"...Haaah? Who're ya callin' arrogant and stupid?" Mammon was quick to stand straight, ready to let out his wings and show who's dominant but Lucifer stands in between as if trying to tell Mammon not to do something he'll definitely regret.
"You're drunk and intoxicated, let's go to bed."
"Shaddup! Ya act so high and mighty when yer really just the same as all of us so quit actin' like yer the boss of me!" Mammon does not move however.
Lucifer stumbles very slightly, "Excuse me? Who are you talking to?"
"Obviously you, who else would I be talkin' to?"
"You're so snappy today..." Beelzebub mumbled to no one in particular, he does his best not to be heard. He is powerful and incredibly buff but even then he still can't beat Mammon in a fight so if a fight were to break loose, his main priority would be Belphegor's safety, seeing as he is the weakest of them all, and getting Mammon to calm down.
Luckily, Mammon was too angry to hear Beelzebub.
"You're bold when you're drunk Mammon." Lucifer was in his demon form.
Mammon should be cowering in fear and yet he is standing tall with his own demon form out, "Woah woah woah! You two calm down!" Asmodeus leaps in between them.
"Satan! Help!" Asmodeus was panicking, he had never seen them fight before.
"Quit it you two! Mammon, do you know why we treat you the way we do? It's because of your shit attitude! You get so snappy at the smallest things and blame us for it." Satan couldn't stand it anymore.
"Oh so yer blamin' me for the shit I didn't even want? Callin' me names and makin' fun of me? Ya haven't seen shit so quit actin' like yer innocent! How is it any fair that I get to be the center of the blame? I never get to indulge in my sin like yall without getting hung upside down for it!"
"Your sin is expensive and it causes me trouble, it's not easy having to clean up the mess you made and try to sweep it under the rug to keep your pristine reputation as a prince of hell!"
"My reputation is my greed. As long as I keep takin' and losin' it all then everyone shouldn't raise a brow if I suddenly get killed for it plus, I can't control it! I am a demon, Lucifer. Ya should understand the best! Yer stupid pride just won't admit the fact that yer wrong, plus, Beelzebub is just as expensive as I am! He destroyed an entire restaurant because they had nothin' more to serve, ya think he's cheap? Ya really gotta redefine your version of 'cheap'."
"How does taking everything you own and losing it all apply to your reputation? Your logic makes little sense." Asmodeus rolls his eyes at his older brother, half aware of what he meant.
"If ya keep drinkin' eventually, you'll get drunk and throw up, right? But it's just too good to stop. It's exactly like that for greed. Every demon in Devildom is aware of how I work, but I will stop at nothing to get exactly what I want. I am aware of my shit actions, okay!? And so are you! But I can't help it!"
"You keep yelling like that's gonna help!" Leviathan yelled back at his older brother.
Mammon grits his teeth bitterly, "None of ya understand do ya? Do I gotta spell it out for ya so you'd understand? Do you have any idea how many nights I stay up thinkin' about my own mind and how I hate it here!? Have ya ever wondered why Lucifer hasn't hung any of ya for the shit you guys pull!? Ya think Lucifer would have let you off for stainin' his favorite coat, Satan? Or when Belphie spilled coffee all over his documents that he needed for next week? I fell instead of ya! It ain't fun but I knew how harsh he is, only I can handle him without breakin' but all of ya combined? There's only so much a demon like me can take..."
Mammon holds back tears because that's what he always does, that's all he does anyways. He can't do anything else about it other than to hold back any feelings that could be used against him.
The silence was loud, no one knew what to say.
Lucifer notices the tears.
"Mammon-"
"-Just... Shut up. Please."
They were silent again, eyes strayed away from each other. Suddenly the shattered bottle, the walls, and the floor was interesting.
They start to notice the little things.
How there's a new vase that looked similar to the one Belphegor shattered except it had gold lines as if it was being kept together.
Beelzebub hated this, Belphegor knew.
"...Mammon, listen. We're sorry, okay? We didn't mean to make it seem that way but if you had told us sooner-" Belphegor tried to reason but Mammon was far too intoxicated to bother.
He turns away.
"You were always good at manipulating others Belphie. That's the youngest for ya..." He mumbles before leaving.
Lucifer steps in front of him.
"Can you get out of the way? I'm tryna get back to my-"
"You are not leaving until this is resolved. What do you think of us? Do you think we don't love you?" Mammon stares at him with dead eyes.
"Ya love me? Doesn't feel that way."
They stared in silence, Lucifer felt awkward. "Believe me... Believe us, Mammon. We'll try our best to be better just please be honest with us, tell us how you feel?"
Mammon didn't respond, he honesty didn't want to.
"Y'know, it sucks because I want to hate you, but I can't. It's almost impossible to feel a tinge of hatred for ya when we've been together through the darkest shadows. But because I can't hate ya, I can't love ya either, right? So I feel nothing. Not anymore. I care for ya but that's definitely just because I have built a system in my mind to care for anyone I consider by family, I care, but not enough ta stay."
He pushes past Lucifer, stumbling through the halls. Though his words were slurred, it was clear as daylight. They knew and understood but they couldn't bring themselves to speak.
Lucifer straightens himself, "We'll fix this as soon as possible, but for now I think he needs time to himself."
The eldest's voice was low; like a whisper, almost.
No one said anything.
No one could.
Obey me! Replaced mc au brainrot
Mc=Noah (cause I don't like just saying mc, ik this isn't accurate btw I'm just a sucker for angst lol)
This contains explicit and harmful content, so, warning.
When a new student from the human realm was announced, I didn't think much of it
I thought maybe I'd get to make a new friend, hang out with them, hell maybe they could tell me everything that went on in the human realms while I was gone.
But not this
I'd never thought that she would completely take my place, it's weird saying it now.
Take my place, huh?
It was foolish of me to think I'd actually matter in their lives, their demons for fucks sake!
For all I know their waiting for the day to kill me.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time eitherway
My hand immideatly went to gently rub my throat remembering how belphegor had killed me in a brutal and slow way after I helped him escape.
Belphegor, weird, I normally just call him belphie.
Guess habits change.
I walked out of my room, messy RAD uniform and deep eyebags under my eyes, beautiful I know.
I walked into the dinning hall and everyone was with Angelica, the new student I was thinking about earlier, they were huddled around her as she told a story from the human realm.
I simply sat down and stared at my breakfast, deciding I'm not hungry I called out to beel.
He was the only one not fully engrossed in her story, simply listening while eating.
He turned his head to me and I walked over to him.
-"here, I'm not hungry bud, and your well, always hungry"- I smiled at him and silently cursed myself for the awkward phrasing
-"no, keep it."- said beel as he pushed my plate towards me.
-"beel, did you just reject food?"- I asked smiling at him, slightly nervous as to why.
-"no no, I would gladly accept it, the thing is that, I haven't seen you eat a proper meal in a week Noah"- he said as he handed me my plate, worry filled in his normally blank eyes.
-"Beel I'm fine I promise, please, take it."- I spoke through an honest smile.
-"no, you haven't been eating lunch or dinner either"- he said stubbornly as his voice raised a bit.
His brothers started to notice the commotion and slightly stared at us from time to time.
'shit, this is not how I wanted this to go' I thought to myself
-"I promise I have, I just arrive earlier than you and take it back to my room."- I spoke through a nervous aura, tensing up every few seconds
-"whenever I arrive your plate is there and served to the brim"- he spoke again, voice never flattering as he grabbed my wrist that was sliding my plate towards him.
-"well then, I didn't know that, someone must be refilling it, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again yeah?"- by this point the brothers were paying more attention to you than Angelica and were starting to grow suspicious of your odd and worrying behaviour.
You gave him your plate, waved at the brothers goodbye and left as soon as you entered.
-'Fuck..I can't go to RAD today, I can't stand the thought of confronting them, especially beel'- I thought as I ran a hand through my hair and then down my face.
I went to my room and pulled out my motorcycle keys, then the box hidden under the bed.
I made my way down the building with nobody noticing I was still there
The sound of a powerful motor echoed as I set out into the street, I admired the scenery around me but then remembered I forgot my helmet
-'Fuck it, it's fine, I normally don't ride with my helmet on'- I thought as I continued the way through the Devildom.
Blurry shops and demons all lined my view as I sped up through the busy streets.
I silently sighed as I arrived at my destination
It was a giant cliff with a barrier protecting the demons from the fall, it was very popular for it's beautiful view
I occasionally came here, normally on Saturdays on Sundays since I didn't have school those days but eh.
I doubt Lucifer will even care for a single missing day with demons missing school almost everyday
I sat down on the barrier and pulled out my stuff from the box.
Cigarettes and lighters.
I lighted one and felt the welcoming feeling of the drug invite me in.
Devildom cigarettes had 10x more effect than normal ones so as a human I fell under the influence rather quickly.
I stared at the view infront of me and stood up on the barrier
I took another puff and slightly let my thoughts wonder.
How couldn't I let my thoughts run? After all I had never been more alone.
Even in the human realm I was well known for my good grades and...devilish personality some would say.
I talked back to teachers, skipped class, did all types of drugs for whatever the reason and drank till I passed out.
I was never fully mentally stable and my body was concrete proof of that.
Scars, burn scars, littered almost every corner of my body.
There were scars on my arms and forearms, stomach, chest, legs and thighs.
I hated myself and I made sure that message got through to myself.
My scars weren't something to be ashamed of, infact I loved them, I remember I always showed them off when I was at any mental health meeting.
When this new school year rolled around that habit stopped.
Apparently me wearing a short sleeved shirt that revealed my scars was gruesome for Angelica.
I remember the day as if it was yesterday
I was walking through the halls, it was an early Saturday morning and I was wearing a shirt with no sleeves getting ready to accompany beel to the gym.
I smiled at myself in the mirror, loving the way my scars were on show.
Soon enough Angelica came in talking with mammon about who knows what
-"ready to go beel?"- I asked him with a smile he smiled back at me and said
-"yeah just one second, I left my protein drink in the kitchen"- he got on his feet and went jogging to the kitchen
I pulled my playlist up on my D.D.D and scrolled through the songs until I found one that I liked I reached for my headphones and Angelicas scream pierced through my ears.
I covered my ears while Lucifer and Satan, who had just entered the room came running to her side.
I looked at her wide eyed, wondering what caused such a reaction.
She was crying as she held her hands over her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut.
-"Angelica?! Answer me! What's wrong?!"- asked Lucifer, panic seen in his normally calm eyes.
-"T-their scars"- Angelica stuttered through tears
-"Who's scars?"- asked Satan a bit more calmly trying to understand the situation
-"Noah's! Noah's arms!, I can't bear to look at them"- she spoke once again through sobs as she sobbed into her hands
The demons heads snapped up at me, I shrugged and tried to continue my day.
Key word, tried.
Lucifer stood up straight and stared at me
-"Noah come with me, quick"- said Lucifer, I spread my arms and did a 'seriously?!' motion as I followed him
Angelica only sobbed louder as she saw the numerous scars on the other side of my arm
-"Noah!"- yelled Lucifer from the other room, a warning
I rolled my eyes as Angelicas screaming was starting to get on my nerves
-"oh suck it up! I'm the one with the scars not you!"- I yelled at her, pissed off that I was the one getting punished for something as ridiculous as this
-"NOAH!"- screamed lucifer, even madder from the other room,
-"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME GRANDPA!"- I screamed as I left the room, the sounds of slight laughter being shot down by Angelica screaming at them for laughing as I closed the door.
-"yes, Lucifer?"- I asked, clearly annoyed as I stared at him crossing my arms, he simply scoweld at me as he slightly glared
A look I knew too well from the beggining of my first year at RAD.
-"given Angelicas reaction and your..actitude, towards it."-
-"from now on, it's mandatory for you, especifically, to wear a long sleeved shirt at all times, and I think this goes without saying but just to be clear, you aren't allowed to wear anything that shows your scars"- I stared at him in bewilderment.
All this for a girl he met a week ago?! Seriously?!
-"meaning, no shorts, no bathing suits, no exposing clothes, nothing along the lines of that"- he said as he slightly glared at me, we were the same height so it was easy for me to glare back.
I scoffed and looked at him.
-"this is fucking ridiculous, what, just because this random girl doesn't like some scars I have to change my entire wardrobe for her?! Fuck no!"- I yelled at him, I was pretty sure the other brothers could hear us two yelling but I didn't give a single shit.
I wasn't going to change everything for this random ass pretty girl I met barley a week ago.
That's absurd!
-"Yours scars are triggering for her, who knows when it might happen to another student when you decide to take off your jacket in class?!"- he yelled back at me stuff even he knew, were false and completely out of his ass.
-"Don't make me laugh! We both know the entire Devildom had seen my scars and none of them, GIVE A SINGLE FLYING SHIT"- You screamed at him, was it a bad idea? Yes Did you care? No, no you didn't
He massaged his temples with his fingers and glared at you.
-"I don't think you understand, I'm not asking you permission for this shit, I'm TELLING you, ORDERING you"- he screamed and you just scoffed at him.
-" well then! Fuck you too Lucifer! FUCK YOU TOO!"- you yelled at him, as you slammed the door on your way out.
The brothers stared at you in bewilderment and even Angelica stopped crying to give you a wide eyed look for talking back to Lucifer like that
-"not so triggering for you now, huh?"- I spoke through venom as I made my way to the kitchen where beel was packing some last minute snacks
I sighed and looked down at the joint in my hand at the memory
Smoke slowly coming out as I continued on my feet on the rail.
I couldn't believe how much this girl had affected me in less than a month.
I was forced to wear clothes I didn't like, be in charge of Angelica 24/7 since mammon barley did his job, relapsed terribly, got a terrible sleep schedule because of being forced to room with Angelica, lost motivation to do anything really, I didn't even feel hungry anymore.
Everyday Im just the walking skin of the person I used to be.
I took off the annoying sweater I had to wear, and stared at my arms, slowly rubbing my scars as a way to calm myself.
-"Nice scars yo!"- Spoke a demon on rollerblades as she sped beside me giving me a cocky smile
I smiled back and waved as a way of saying 'thank you!'
-"triggering others my ass"- i spoke softly bringing the drug between my lips before i got an idea.
I slowly sat down as I brought the burnt side of the cigarette to my arm, the feeling of burning skin brought me inner peace as I continued running it down my arm.
Blood slowly dripping as my arm got dirtied by the ash creating a gory wound behind.
The fire completely out by now as I put my sweater back, and rode to RAD, smiling to myself from the pain coursing through my arm.
As much as I didn't want to, I went to the nurse, it could get infected and that's the last thing I want to be honest, it's a pain in the ass.
After my lovely visit I went to my next class, which I regrettably had with Angelica.
-"Hey!"- she smiled at me as I arrived and sat next to her
I gave her a quick forced smiled and leaned on my arm.
Quickly shooting back as I had played down on my injured one, I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes
-"are you ok?!"- asked Angelica, worry sparkled through her features and eyes, as she held my arm gently
-"I'm fine.."- I muttered as I retreated my arm.
Angelica still looked worried and I could tell she could smell the horrid smell of cigarette on me.
I had a long week, Angelica wouldn't leave me alone, and my visits to the cliff with my lighter and cigarettes became more and more ordinary, the demon brothers pushed me away even more and we're starting to treat me horribly.
Lucifer would straight up ignore me and the only time he would speak to me was when he was screaming at me for my bad grades, oh yeah, did I mention? My grades took a downfall because of my, situation.
Mammon would steal and take my money from my room all the time, to either sell or give to Angelica, normally I wouldn't care but very important stuff has stared going missing and it's anger inducing
Levi would treat me like trash, straight to the point. Wonder what happened to the leviathan that would stay up all night playing videogames with me and would always invite me to read his magas with him.
Satan and Asmo just insulted me to no end, Asmo saying stuff about my looks and fashion sense, Satan about my likes in books and stories, judging everything about me.
Beel and belphie stayed quiet on the whole matter, they weren't close with Angelica and beel didn't really trust her so they stayed on the neutral side, but by doing that they distanced themselves away from me.
All for her.
For the shiny new girl.
Fuck them
Fuck her
And most importantly
Fuck me.
The burning of the lines became a known and welcoming feeling.
I was in my room reading a book I found in the library
I honestly couldn't care since I was more concentrated on my thoughts and burning arm than the pages filled with knowledge Infront of me.
Suddenly the room to my room shot open and I got on my feet.
An angry Lucifer followed by the worried faces of Angelica and the other siblings came into my room.
Great, what did I do now? I simply sat down as Lucifer continued glaring.
He simply slammed a box Infront of me.
Not just any box, my box.
Filled to the brim with bloody bandages, cigarettes, lighters, and bloody tissues.
I knew that if I acted surprised or looked over at my bed too see if it was the real one and not just some test it would be suspicious.
So I simply stared at the box and raised an eyebrow at him.
-"nice collection I guess"- I stated simply as I pulled out my D.D.D and started scrolling through devilgram.
-"Don't bullshit me Noah, I know this is yours"- he stated as he put his arms on my desk and leaned closer, his eyes weren't angry as I thought they would be.
They showed concern, sadness, worry.
What a joke.
I looked at him weirdly while everyone else stood stiff behind him.
"no it isn't, why would I need all that for?"- I said, pointing at the box.
I reached over and analysed the bloody bandage as if I didn't recognize the blood and smears.
Remembering how I dragged the cigarette across my arm, putting it out the farther it went, grabbing a tissue to wipe away the ashes and blood, applying the bandage over it.
Putting that ugly sweater on once again.
-"ew.."- I muttered throwing it into the box again.
Before I could retreat my hand, Lucifer reached towards and grabbed my arm.
It hurt like hell and I could feel the burns burning even more than normally.
The newest one slowly dripping droplets of blood, that have thankfully, not seeped through the fabric of the shirt and jacket I'm wearing.
-"what the fuck are you doing Lucifer"- I said, trying to break away my arm from his deadly grip but his firm hand never even flattered
-"Show us"- he spoke through gritted teeth
-"show you what exactly Lucifer?!, What do you want?!"- I asked him, taking my other arm and pulling on the other, trying to get it away from his grip.
I needed to keep a coolhead though, don't let them see you in a weak moment.
You gave up even if your brain was panicking in reality, thinking of every possible away to get away from them.
-"Come on Noah.., if ya don't have anything to hide, just show us ya arm, right?!"- spoke up Mammon since everyone else was in shock trying too see what would happen.
You stared at them.
And there she was.
In all her glory, cuddled up between the brothers on the verge of tears.
As if she was the one who was being interrogated and blamed.
As if she was the one hurting with thousands of burns on her arms.
As if she was the one drinking all her guilt away with wine and alcohol.
As if she was the victim.
I glared at Lucifer and used my magic to get him off me.
I could have used the pact but that would be suspicious, hence I barley use the pact to get the demon brothers to do something for me.
-"Jesus Christ man..."- I spoke softly as I rubbed my sore arm.
The brothers just deadpanned at me for a second but then returned to the matter at hand.
Lucifer glared and made his way around the table and Infront of me.
-"Fine then"- he turned around and glared at the group on the other side of the room
-"all of you take off whatever jacket or sweater your wearing and if your wearing a long sleeved shirt, pull it up"- he glared and everyone did as they were told immideatly
'and they say he kisses Diavolos ass godamn..'- you stared weirdly as everyone followed Lucifer's directions
He went around and checked their arms, then showing them too me.
Not a single one had a recent scar that would have been created by the stuff on the box
He circled back to me and glared as he stretched out his arm for me to give him mine.
As a last minute decision I casted a spell that allowed me to hide my scars.
I didn't do this since the beggining since there was a huge chance it might not work, hence it's a newly learned spell.
I scoffed and took off my sweater, hoping to any god or entity that it worked.
Luckily when I rolled up my sleeves, not a single scar in sight I relaxed a ton but didn't let anyone notice.
Lucifer simply examined them before he grabbed it tightly and pulled me towards him.
I tried to break free but I heard his voice, for everyone in the room to hear, especially me.
-"if you aren't hurt.., then, what's this?"- he spoke as he slowly raised his hand which was examining my arm filled with blood and burnt skin.
I stared in shock as I looked down and noticed the spell had worn off because I relaxed.
The brothers all stared wide eyed and some gasped.
Angelica broke out into tears but the brothers didn't pay any mind to it.
-'thats new'- I thought as I looked at their figures from Lucifer's shoulder since he still hadn't let me go.
He let go of my arm and hugged me and I felt him wrap his arms around me, his warm embrace brought tears to my eyes since it's been months since I felt it.
I hugged him back and hid my face in his shoulder as to not let anyone see my tears
I wanted to do nothing but make him let go of me, to scream and curse at him every profanity that came to mind.
But after finally being cared for after months of feeling nothing, felt so nice.
After that feeling of euphoria died I pushed Lucifer away and put on my jacket again.
-"Leave."- I spoke coldly as I didn't dare to meet their eyes.
-"Noah, please let us help you.."- spoke asmo carefully as he took a step towards
-"Are you all deaf, I said, Leave."- I spoke harshly once again.
-"c'mon Noah.."- spoke Mammon as he came closer.
-"why do you guys even care?!"- I yelled at them, Angelica flinching to which I just rolled my eyes at.
-"Because we care about you!"- yelled back Mammon
I scoffed and spoke -"sure you do, if you care then why have you guys been treating me like shit?"-
They all looked away knowing they were guilty
-"just admit you don't care and leave, go back to having fun with Angelica and leave me again."- I spoke as I simply glared and went to take my box.
Satan grabbed it before I could teach it and so I glared at him before walking over
-"Satan, give that back"-
-"listen, I know we..fucked up, but please give us another chance, we never knew this would happen, please."- I just grabbed the box and pulled it out of his grip.
-"yeah you guys fucked up, but you only care once stuff like this happens, what if you hadn't found the box? I'll tell you what, you would continue treating me like shit until I snapped because the guilt is eating you alive, it's not because you care or because your worried, it's so that you don't have to live with this guilt on your conscience for the rest of the year."- I knew some of what I was saying was a lie.
I could tell in their eyes they were worried and sad, that they were truly sorry.
But I wasn't going to forgive them easily.
Because part of what I said was true, they only cared once it came to this.
-"besides how did you even find the box"- I spoke harshly as I hid it again.
-"Angelica was commenting to us about how she was worried about you"- well that's new
-"and Mammon decided to look around your room too see if he could find something, then he found it..."-
You only scoffed at them before taking your backpack full of your stuff and clothes and leaving the room.
-"Noah! Where are you going?!"- spoke one of the brothers after you.
-"Purgatory hall"- you said bluntly continuing your path.
-"wait! Noah please! Let's talk things out!"- begged beel, being the only one who could keep up with you.
-"what's there to talk about?"- you muttered as you took a sharp turn
-"everything! Just please.."- Beel said as he grabbed your hands and put them to his forehead and he looked at you through tears.
-"Don't leave us..."- as some tears fell from his face
-"I'm sorry beel..but that's not your decision to make."- you pulled away and left the house of lamentation, not to be seen in a good while.