Moon Knight Angst - Tumblr Posts
oh well.
marc spector angst
Content: angst (woah really??) sad hours, crying
a/n: this just has all kinds of sad stuff, mental health tw all around
angstober prompt 1 - 'again'
dark. it's dark outside when his eyes slit open. the window is cold from the London air - he can feel it chill the sheets. a thin sheen of sweat licks over his shoulders. Marc wakes but doesn't stir, choosing instead to stare listlessly into the AC unit.
there's an oiliness inside; a thick, heavy weight that slicks over his ribs and makes the fluttering of his lungs ache with the effort. it'd be easier to stop, really, to just close his mouth and bury his head in the pillow.
Steven, as always, has left the flat a mess. he'd never know, because Marc stirs an hour early to pick up the tissues and socks and straighten the books.
his bones creak on the cold wooden floor. it's been a year, he realizes dismally, looking at the tattered calendar stapled onto the cupboard. Steven's red x's are interspersed with Marc's black ones. it twists his stomach to see the infrequent crimson ink.
floating. Steven's been floating down the drain and Marc's done fuck all to stop it.
oh well. middle age was close. halfway there, right?
there were mugs in the sink. dirty and ringed with black. marc's. Steven couldn't handle the bitterness of coffee.
ha ha.
the sun was beginning to burn the curtain hems, ringing the flat in gold. Marc stumbled in the weak light, blearily searching for a pen. he grabbed a postcard and hastily scribbled a note, slapping it onto the fishtank.
empty, of course. Gus had gone days ago, he just hadn't gotten around to replacing him. Steven would know. Steven would care, oh he'd be so upset-
oh well.
Marc watched the sunrise, eyes fluttering as he was sucked back under, thrown into the dark recesses of his mind.
it was dark when he woke. again. thursday by the looks of it, three days after his last wakeup. Steven hadn't done much cleaning, but there were flowers on the table. old and dying, but he'd clearly gone out.
they crumpled with the smell of food waste in the trash.
a pang in his stomach. Steven had forgotten to eat again. only eggs in the fridge, and Marc only wanted orange juice.
oh well.
he could wait, maybe Steven would remember to go out. if not, he could lose some pounds anyway.
it had been a while since he'd fronted during the day. he didn't hate the night, but it would be nice to see somebody. talk to somebody other that himself and that damned fish.
oh well.
Marc didn't need it, Steven could do without him. he'd be alright. it was routine, a schedule, something he could trust. Steven did the living, Marc did the feeling, and they'd never need anybody else.
living a half life wasn't so bad. it would feel like half-dying when the time came.
the sheets were still cold when he tugged them over his head. the heat should have kicked on by now, maybe it was broken.
maybe it's not the heat.
oh well.
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tbh i kinda hated this but whatever.