My Heart Is Doing Weird Things - Tumblr Posts

[ 12:58 ] apple pie

he makes you feel all the things you often joke about missing in college. he makes you stay up late up on the phone, twirling your hair around your finger like a chick in a typical teen romance movie, so much so you sometimes wish you still had a landline. he makes you giggle in a way that only comes out around him and smile so hard your cheeks hurt. 

before seungcheol you didn’t know what it was like to be foolishly in love. to be consumed by the kind of love that you see in the movies, filled with photo booth film strips and surprise coffee dates and grand romantic gestures. he calls you baby, and sweetheart, and even angel in the right moments. 

he makes it impossible not to miss him.

how do you make a home?

truth be told, you had been resistant to moving in with seungcheol. you liked the idea of having your independence and you liked having your own space.

but somehow, over time, you found traces of yourself appearing in his home.

a green toothbrush next to his red one. your favorite blanket of his draped over the sofa because you always fell asleep during movies. your favorite brand of microwave popcorn in the pantry and a spot for your socks in his drawer. 

you remember asking him, “hey, is it okay if i keep some of my stuff in your dresser? it’s not that much, i promise. you don’t have to, if you don’t want…”

and he had just smiled, watching you with those big gorgeous eyes of his. 

“i would eat hot coals for you,” he had replied, and the response caught you so off guard that you let out the ugliest snort of laughter. 

they were just some socks, but seungcheol was always dramatic like that. it didn’t matter that you didn’t live with him. he was your true home, anyway.

i’ve been running round trying to find a place where i can breathe.

your favorite dates were the ones where you’d walk around fancy neighborhoods, pointing out your favorite houses. 

“ooh, cheol, look at that one!” you say, pointing to an A-frame with dark shutters. “oh, it’s so beautiful.”

“we could fill it with that style you like so much—farmhouse?” he adds on, grinning as you gasp enthusiastically. "with a big kitchen and lots of windowboxes."

“and—and we could have a pool in the backyard!” 

“we could get a big dog. like one of those burmese mountain dogs.” 

“mingyu could live next door.”

cheol snorts, shaking his head. “sure, and wonwoo and seokmin and jeonghan and vernon.”

“would you want kids?” you ask, looping your arm through his as you lean your head on his shoulder. the two of you pause to stand outside the house, admiring its romantic frame and cozy exterior. 

“with you?” cheol murmurs, and you’re surprised to hear a crack in his voice. concerned, you look up, only to see him gazing at you with heart-wrenching affection. you giggle as he leans in to press a gentle kiss to your temple.

“so many.” 

i found you under an april sky.

you met seungcheol in new york, in your second year of grad school. you had been studying at the cherry fountain in central park, working on one of your final papers, when a man in a smart wool coat had come up to you. 

he had brown windswept hair, round wire-framed glasses, and a grin that could melt the coldest heart. he looked frazzled, asking if you had seen his friend around (“he’s tall and kind of stupid—oh, i’m gonna fucking kill him—dark hair, Korean?”).

you shook your head no...do you know how big central park is? 

somehow, you ran into him again, just as you were leaving for the evening. the sun has started to set and the lights in the high-rise buildings have started to come on. you bundle yourself in your scarf when he notices you. 

he’s holding a rose, probably one from a street vendor, and he hands it to you sheepishly, like he can’t believe he actually found you again.

later, when you put the flower in a vase, you notice he wrote his phone number on the tag. 

i found mingyu. i hope i can find you again, too. 

seungcheol x

home is wherever you are tonight.

tonight you’re alone, writing something in your diary when your phone dings! the little heart next to his name makes you swoon.

cheol <3: hey, can i tell u something? 

despite knowing it’s probably not a big deal, your mind races through all the worst-possible scenarios it could be. what if his mom died? what if he’s moving back to korea and he doesn’t want you to come with him? what if he's sick? what if he's breaking up with you—

you: yeah ofc

three little dots pop up on the screen, hardly seconds after your response. you watch them with a strange mixture of excitement and despair, despite how much you reassure yourself it’s nothing bad. seungcheol would never tell you something serious over text message.

you hear the ding! again, and you can't fight the silly grin that inches across your face.

cheol <3: i just cant wait to marry u xx

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