MY TEARS ARE REAL TO PROVE THATTT - Tumblr Posts

Scratching noises of thoughts swirls messily in his mind. Staring blankly at the campfire, his surroundings pale to the harsh colors of his silent musing. His nose scrunched up, his expression could barely convey the exact intensity of his feelings. Is it of self-hatred? Is it of shame? Labels doesn't matter since it's obvious how much it is taking a toll on his heavy heart.

Although his senses are dulling, the new weight on his paw isn't mistaken to be nothing. Without raising his head, his pupils dart to the face of which the hand belongs to.

"Your cup is still full, you barely take any sip from it. Are you good?"

'I'm everything else but good', the dishevelled mess in his mind promptly replies. He opens his mouth, only to realize how much strain it would take to talk without choking.

Instead, he opt to smile thinly. Nodding, he manually crinkles his eyes and briefly raises his brows. On hindsight, he should have just nod, that's a poor attempt of mimicking an 'all is right' smile.

She tilts her head, her eyes are enough to tell that she isn't buying it.

"You know, if you keep letting whatever it is that is bothering you fester, it will only get worse. Come on, I'm here to listen."

He flinched at the word 'fester'.

He opened his mouth, wanting to retort at first, then he notice how she can't be easily swayed. Sighing deeply, he shifts in his seat, undoing his slouch.

"I... I don't even know where to begin."

"That's alright. Pretty hard to talk about unorganised thoughts so suddenly. Maybe... you could begin with what's bothering you the most."

Silence reflects his hesitation. What is the root of his internal discomfort? He worries that he is stalling too much but her patient smile gives him reassurance. His gaze gradually diverts away from hers to look at the crackling warmth of the campfire. He is ready to answer now, just couldn't bare to hold more eye contact.

"This body... it feels like... all the blood it have shed never left me. It's stupid to say out loud, but it feels like there's a permanent stain on my fur... always there to remind me of the atrocities it have commited..."

His expression grow dimmer as he mutters his last words, trailing off. She notices how tightly he is clutching his cup on his other hand. He is ready to get lost in his own head again until he feels the gentle squeeze of her paw. His half-lidded eyes widen a bit when hearing her next words.

"Sorry to say dear, but the stains never leave but only fade."

Chills run straight down his spine. Is this his fate then? He is ready to justify such self-inflicted punishment but she continues.

"One day, you may forgive yourself... but until then remember – faded stains aren't dirty."

His grip on his cup loosen. A subtle smile emerges from his lips. Not of genuine happiness but a flicker of a hint of some sort of comfort. Despite his eyes showing no emotion, his mind starts to consider her kind words.

"Thank you," he whispers, the corner of his eyes stinging at her kind words.

He realizes that he may not be ready to forgive himself just yet, but he feels a small sense of comfort knowing that she is there for him, and that he's not alone in his struggle. As the fire crackles softly in the night air, he takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. For the first time in a long time, he feels a glimmer of hope.

kind words at late night group therapy