Never Had A Game So Insistent That I Shouldnt Do Anything. This Must Be How A Supervised Child Feels In A Room Full Of Complex Machinery. - Tumblr Posts

Okay so, I’ve been “playing” the Mobile Game Azure Lane (really it plays itself and will actively wrestle back control any time I switch it to manual so I’ve kind of given up arguing with it at this point but I digress) but I now have important questions because for a game based on the concept of anthropomorphic ship-girls and fantasy re-enactments of WW2 naval battles that plays itself the game ironically doesn’t really put a lot of effort into explaining what the hell is going on and I only really know it’s supposed to be fantasy WW2 because of the ship names, not because the battles aren’t clear allegories for real WW2 battles but because their so blatantly rip offs of WW2 battles told from the perspectives of ship-people that for someone who isn’t a history buff it just comes across like “sexy ship lady spouts patriotic and or lamenting philosophy” refuses to elaborate…leaves.

Question Number 1: How big are the ship girls? Because in the “game” they look about a third as big as real ships and the bosses you fight look about half as big. Is this a giantess story?

Question Number 2: You know how the Shipgirl’s have pieces of their historical counterpart glued onto them? Are there humans inside those? Do they live in the ship part of the shipgirls?

Question Number 3: Why are the Shipgirl’s okay with being scrapped? They aren’t WW2 ships, they’re WW2 ships with legs and emotions…why don’t they just run the fuck away when scrapping time comes around?

Question Number 4: Am I overthinking the game that clearly exists so the small subset of people who like anthropomorphism, anime girls and WW2 naval history can be drained of their money in order to dress up their digital waifu in different outfits?

Don’t answer that last question I think I know the answer.