New Czech Order - Tumblr Posts

[Czechs after a successful referendum on their way to annex Kaliningrad Region from Russia]

A friend shared this in the group chat and I had to look it up....

[Petition to announce a referendum on the annexation of Kaliningrad to the Czech republic

1 246 signatures (1 357 by the time of posting)

Kaliningrad, in Czech known as Královec,is a Russian city founded in honor of the Czech king Přemysl Otakar II. During its existence the city has belonged to Prussia, Poland, Germany and now Russia. We believe, that Russia has had its fun with Kaliningrad for long enough and that it is time for another country to take its turn in owning it, as has been the tradition for the 800 years of its existence. And since the city has been founded in honor of a Czech king, it should go in the hands of its rightful owner - Czech republic.

As Russia has shown with Crimea and now with east Ukraine, it is perfectly fine to march into another country's territory, announce a referendum and then annex that territory. This has given us a unique opportunity to expand Czech territory and finally gain access to the sea. So we ask the government of Czech republic to finally send soldiers to Kaliningrad, announce a referendum that will end with 98% positive vote for joining Czech republic, and then annex Kaliningrad and rename it to Královec.]

[Slovak, Trnava: And when we reunite Czechoslovakia we will have access to the sea!]

[Czech, Olešník: Why shouldn't we march up to another's territory and annex it if others can]

[Czech, Prague: Signing, because Kaliningrad has always belonged to Czech republic just like trdelník and dill sauce]

(neither trdelník nor dill sauce is originally Czech)

[Czech, Prague 3: The area is inhabited by a czech-speaking minority suffering discrimination from the locals. For the temporary Russian population we will create humanitarian corridors to Belarus. We aren't barbarians]

[Polish, Katowice: Hit the insta story Make Life Harder.... Now it's going to be a flood of Polish signatures, because to Königsberg for Czech beer we'd love to drop by!]

[Signature from Netherlands]

[Three signatures from Poland]

[Three signatures from Poland, two from Czech republic, one from Ukraine]

[Polish, Poznań: We cheer the Czechs on for access to the sea]

[Polish: Gliwice: Yes. There will be good beer in the north. I like this]

[Polish: Kraków: For the glory of the great dumpling empire]

[Polish: Poznań: Signing, Czechs are such cool neighbors I want us to share more borders]

[Czech, Prague: Královec was never independent, if not for Přemysl Otakar it would perhaps not even exist. By denazification and demilitarization we will ensure living space for thousands of future Czechs as well as access to the sea, for which we have a divine historic right, just like Shakespeare has wrote]

(Shakespeare spelled phonetically for comedic value)

[Czech, Prague: Not enough as reparations for 40 years of terror but as the first payback it should do]

[Polish, Straszyn: In addition I ask for Moravian wine, Studentská and Kofola in every shop in Pomerania]

[Slovak, Dulov: Signing this petition, because Russia has shown us that when you want something you should take it even if you'll look like a total bully and a moron. So why not, let our Czech brothers have this one]

[Czech, Prague 9: More legitimate than Russian referendums]

[Czech, Brno: According to Putin it's perfectly legal so why not?]

[Polish, Olsztyn: As a representative of the Polish nation, I think it will be better for us to have Czechs in the South and North, and Russian friends as far as possible, preferably in some dark Siberian ass end of nowhere]

I have been cackling the entire way to the train station

(Link)