Nijisanji En Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

dragging luca into victoria's secret. + mall date mostly but i need clickbait title

gn reader, + disclaimer!! anyone can buy or wear fucking panties or briefs of thongs. or bras. even if ur a man i dont blame u those male designs r weak asf !!!!

– For someone who grew up spoiled rich, you thought your boyfriend would be more of a loaded brat than someone who’s responsible with money. Must be that middle child syndrome. He’s there to stop you, but god the way you look in the clothes you pick out, or whatever you fling off the rack on impulse.. He can’t help but say yes to anything you try on, you’re just so.. Luca loves you too much for his own good.

– But you love him just as much, if not more. When you see him looking at something, and you look at his eyes, you’ll find his cornea concentrated deeply as he examines it, as his mouth partly opens to mumble about the design. But everytime he puts it down, you drag it and pull out your card. Trying to pay, he ends up buying it for himself through all the fuss you’re making.

“H-hey! I said I'm good, okay? So just–”

“No! Shut the fuck up, Luca. I wanna get it for you..”

– It’s expensive but he deserves it! You sneak in a couple bills for it in his coat pocket with a post-it. Refuse to take his money, but he’ll want to buy it for you more. You two are the two sides of the same coin.. And god forbid when he finds the womens shoes. He’ll insist on fitting his bigfoot feet into the small obnoxious heels and trips trying to catwalk his way over to you.

“How do I look?”

“Do you want me to lie to you or be honest?”

“Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

– Okay, he never grew up with sisters. His only female figure in life was his mother throughout growing up, so if he sees some kind of makeup or bags he’ll try to stop you. Luca doesn’t understand the quality of designer bags or good makeup. 

“$2,040 for a bag? It isnt even that big!”

“Quality, Luca.” you roll your eyes.

“Quality? It’s kinda..” he giggles. “..It's kinda ugly.”

“Luca!”

– You can’t hold back his inner child from the arcade. Renting out a locker for the things you bought, you quickly buy cards to swipe at the games. He’ll definitely try to win you plushies, and somehow get them all in a few tries. The clerks hate him, but if they unscrew the crane claw loose enough, he won’t even notice and insist on spending more. Well, he gets them in the end. He’ll challenge you to the basketball hoops, slowing down on purpose, yet still winning. God has favorites. The crane games with the rolls of tickets get him so addicted, hold him back. 

— You probably won’t get a higher score than him on the punching bag games, but if you do get a higher score than Luca? You’ll both spend your points on trying to outdo each other.

– Back to your locker, you drop by the parking lot to drop off all purchases, telling him you want to drop it off before going to one last store. Also, because whatever the fuck you bought, was heavy and you two were trying to get the bags from each other. Luca has good forearm strength, but it would get sore if he actually carried everything. Eventually, you two compromised: he carries two or three big heavy bags and you carry multiple small bags.

– But anyways, back to my clickbait title. <3

– Walking past the images of Victoria Models, he’s looking the other way so hard. I don’t know if it’s because he's the biggest virgin loser you’ve ever seen or he’s just loyal.

“Can you walk properly?”

“But if I uncover my eyes..!”

“Yeah, I’d kill you.”

“Don’t worry babe, I only have eyes for you.”

“Uhuh.”

“I’m serious!”

– And then take him to the doors of hell. Victoria’s Secret, every boyfriends biggest fear. Trying to escape, but he laments when you say it’s late, and you don’t like being alone. Luca whines, but he gives into you  like he always does. If you thought he couldn’t walk properly earlier, you thought wrong. He’s looking down and bumping into people and god. The classic “Do you need help?” worker comes, and this is perfect.

“Yeah, so, you might not see right now but my boyfriend has massive boobs so–”

“I don’t!”

“He’s shy, don't mind him. Our doctor wants to prevent future scoliosis because of his back pain. Do you have anything with good support that looks slutty?”

– Flight instinct comes in, but your hands stop him. The helper sizes him, and he takes off his shirt. If you weren’t busy teasing him, you would’ve glared at the people staring at him, but it’s not like they don’t always stare, shirt or not. Your boyfriends an ESTP chad, and ladies magnet but refuses to believe it. You settle on training bras, sport bras, and of course you want him to try them on? Keep trying to force his head up, he won’t.

“Oh no! The mannequin has boobs, Luca!”

“Stop it! Argh..”