No Question - Tumblr Posts

on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer” species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba™ with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship

it doesn’t have any special intelligence. it’s just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don’t have knives. it’s just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.

“what is the point?” asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. “is it to test your speed and agility?”

“no it doesn’t really go that fast,” replies the captain.

“does it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?”

“I mean I guess so but that’s more of a side effect.”

“does it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?”

“it doesn’t stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool — someone write that down.”

“but then what is its purpose?”

“I don’t know,” the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. “it just seemed cool”

Niche crossover blorbo post time cuz I realized that if video games existed in Scala ad Caelum Xehanort and Eraqus would be OBSESSED with Fire Emblem, therefore please view my 'who would the Dark Road underclassmen stan in Fire Emblem: Three Houses?' headcanons:

Xehanort: Edelgard stan for sure

Eraqus: Wants to stan Claude, actually stans Dimitri

Hermod: Casual enjoyer, Seteth fan

Urd: Casual enjoyer, Annette fan

Vor: Lysithea kinnie

Bragi (Luxu): Monica (Three Houses)

Bragi (original flavor): Monica as well (Three Hopes)

Baldr: Fleche