Oh This Hurt Even In Its Sparseness - Tumblr Posts
Nov 6 - Cas is
Nov 11 - He’s
Nov 18 - Sam says Mia says journaling helps. Sure.
Nov 19 - Should’ve been me.
Nov 20 - Sam, if you’re reading this thing, I’ll kick your ass.
Nov 21 - Spaghetti for dinner. Cas still dead. Journaling still stupid.
Nov 24 - I should’ve said
Nov 25 - Should’ve told him.
Nov 26, Thanksgiving - Not a whole lot of thanks around here. Thanks for dying in front of me, man. Thanks for saying all that. Thanks for disappearing again before I
Nov 30 - C not back.
Dec 5 - 1 month. C gone. J quiet. S annoying.
Dec 6 - Least Sam’s alive.
Dec 8 - [drawing of Castiel, half sketched]
Dec 10 - Not much of a friggin’ artist huh.
Dec 26 - No miracle.
Dec 31 - Gonna be another year without
2021
Jan 1, New Year’s - Midnight alone. You should be here. You should
Jan 2 - I should’ve
Jan 5 - 2 months
Feb 5 - 3 months since I should’ve fucking kissed you.
Feb 28 - If this was a leap year man I bet you’d be back tomorrow you always did shit like that surprised the hell out of me.
Mar 1 - So it goes.
Mar 2 - S thought the library here had Vonnegut. Didn’t.
Mar 5 - 4 months Went to get a library card in town.
Mar 11 - “And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.”
Mar 30 - Sam might have a hunt for us. Don’t know if
Mar 31 - Turned it down. Passed it to Jody’s crew.
Apr 1, April Fool’s - Real funny C. Joke's over. Come back already.
Apr 9 - There’s things I can’t say things I’ve never been good at saying but you gotta know
Apr 29 - He didn’t know he didn’t know he didn’t know he didn’t
May 5 - You died not knowing, you asshole. 6 months and you’re not back so I can’t tell you.
May 6 - You missed Star Wars day, you know.
May 7 - Didn’t even Han you. Well I didn't know did I.
May 8 - Did I?
May 9 - Maybe I
May 26 - “How nice — to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.”
June 5 - 7
July 5 - 8
Aug 5 - 9
Aug 6 - What if you don’t
Aug 10 - You missed my birthday. S’s too. J’s.
Aug 11 - If you can hear me
Aug 12 - What would he even
Sept 5 - Nearly crashed the car today. S had to drive. Banged up my head leaning on the window in the backseat like a kid. 10
Sept 6 - Researching.
Sept 7 - Ain’t far you missed a whole year. Gonna have a lot of catch up to play when
Sept 8 - …when we get you back.
Sept 18 - Been 12 years. You believe that, Cas? Since I came back. Since you brought me back. Guess I hoped today would be the magic bullet to getting you back. Like you’d tip your head at me and say Hello Dean. And I’d tell you how I raised you from perdition. Whatever. Just a day I guess. Universe doesn’t care it’s our anniversary
Sept 19 - Still gonna say it though. When it works.
Oct 5 - 11. It’s gonna work
Oct 31, Halloween - Never got to put you in a dumb matching costume. Next year though.
Nov 4 - Can’t sleep. Sam says time is powerful magic or some shit like that. Says an anniversary can have echoes. So we’re trying it tomorrow. God, this better work. Cas, you hear me? We’re coming for you. I’ve been praying all year and I’m hearing nothing back. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Gonna get this stuck mouth of mine to make good. It’s just the words, even on paper, they don’t—Tomorrow though, tomorrow I’m telling you everything. Promise.
Nov 5 - Today.
Nov 6 - !!! 🙂🙂🙂🙂 ^ heh. check out this dork