Personal Agency - Tumblr Posts
It’s not a fully fleshed out thought but I’ve grasped it now and so here’s what I’ve got dangling…
It’s so interesting to me that of the many issues and annoyances I have with Rory’s character her decisions around Yale are so tied to men.
Though the show we have a general sense that Rory (and by extension Loralai who raised her) have a distain or disappointment when women make choices due to men. Mainly when these choices are not mainly or solely things that a woman wants, and take another persons (usually a man’s) wants into account we see Rory scoff or roll her eyes or frown intensely and question it. When someone else makes a decision due to a man they want to like them or respect them, Rory seems to like and respect them less (at least in that moment).
But when a man, one who’s good opinion and respect SHE wants, says something hard and hurtful Rory abandons everything she (and by extension he mother) have worked for since she was a child. At the very least she gives up the main goal that’s dominated the last 3 years of her life. A man doesn’t think she’s good enough, so she gives up trying.
And though everyone tries to understand and support her, to change her mind and make her want to go back to Yale and to reignite her goals for her future, it is once again a man (who Rory wants to respect her and have a good opinion of her) who says a hard and hurtful thing which makes her go back to Yale.
And in the middle of all of that it’s another man (her grandfather) who has so much influence on her ‘choices’. Firstly in his support of her leaving, and in his 180 in the face of the reality of her life Rory’s grandfathers support plays a huge role in her confidence in her decisions and path.
I just find it fascinating that the writers chose to remove so much of Rory’s agency in these ‘choices’. They don’t write that Rory struggles at college, having reached the pinnacle she was working for and realising it isn’t as fulfilling as she had hoped; that she struggles (like she first did at Chiltern) now she is among other gifted people and she is once again less exceptional; that the courses she takes feel uninteresting and she languishes without drive or a purpose.
No they choose to write her story as a man says something mean and so she runs away.
And again, they don’t write her return to Yale as Rory being revitalised by her time away and once again motivated to aim higher; they don’t have her realise that she does thrive surrounded by other intellectuals and though it’s tough she CAN rise to the challenge like she did before; they don’t have her realise her dream career or degree is actually different than she thought so she goes back and changes major or her classes.
No once again, the writers have a man say something mean and so she runs away. Only this time she runs away back to where she was before.
So in the face of disappointment or dislike, at least from men she wants to like her, the only ‘choice’ Rory is allowed to make is to run.