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The Tragedy of Ashtoret, Part 2: Survival
This is a continuation of my post-mortem for my first character's journey through Baldur's Gate 3. Spoilers for the entire game lie below the cut. If you read further, I can no longer be held responsible for what gets spoiled for you.
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4

If there's one trait that defines the arc of Ashtoret's travels, it's their absolute determination to survive. Despite knowing that they had a time limit hanging over their heads, despite knowing and accepting and outright stating that if they began to Change, they would need to be put down like a rabid dog for the sake of everyone else, they were never the sort to simply lay down and die until there was absolutely no other choice.
Survival above all else. And in the wilds, as well they knew from their years traveling as a Ranger, there is no moral limit to what an animal will do when its life is threatened. When people hear they are a Ranger, they make assumptions of camping beneath the stars, hunting beasties quietly in the woods, enjoying an existence in harmony with nature only outmatched by the Druids. And it is that, all of it.
But it's also nights curled in to fresh skins still warm with blood to survive the bitter cold. Finding a family of deer and slaughtering the mother to get enough meat to last another week. Stabbing a dagger into the neck of an owlbear cub because its only life after its mother passed would be starvation and it's more merciful to end it.
Survival means using every tool you have to your advantage, including the wits and guile afforded intelligent creatures, to get out of a situation. It means playing along with all sides of a conflict until you're sure of which one you can safely antagonize, even if you despise all of them.
Ashtoret listened to all sides of the conflict at the grove. Kagha was on their shitlist for daring to imprison and likely kill a literal child with her poisonous pet, but they knew their group wouldn't survive the confrontation with the entire grove full of druids. To survive, they had to talk their way deep into the Goblin Camp, then sneak their way out with their compatriots, assassinating their foes along the way.
Survival meant not setting one damned foot towards the githyanki creche once the first meeting with their gatekeepers proved that they would seek to 'cleanse' the infection by killing, not healing. Even if Lae'zel disagreed, it wasn't worth the risk.
Survival meant that when Isobel fell unconscious and was spirited away from the Last Light Inn, every single other person in that area that was now afflicted by the Shadow Curse, had to die. That they couldn't prioritize keeping the one ally to keep her head, Jaheira, alive.
It meant playing along with the Cult of the Absolute and how their zealots might expect initiates to behave. (Even if it meant coldly ordering someone to kill themselves and watching them do it. More on that in another post.) It meant not killing Balthazar on-sight, despite how disgusting Ashtoret found his actions and general demeanor both. It meant playing along with Raphael, even if they never intended to make any sort of deal with him.
Surviving also meant not standing in the way of Shadowheart when she prepared to level her lance at the Nightsong to complete her ascension as the Dark Justiciar. They knew it wasn't right. But they didn't want to fight her, and neither did they want to die for their conscience twisting their guts.
Their will to survive made them promise to deliver Gortash Orin's head in the middle of his 'coronation', then turn around and promise Gortash's filthy corpse to Orin in exchange for the hostage she had taken. Orin, despite being utterly unhinged, was a straightforward foe who wanted a bloody fight in the eyes of Bhaal. Her lust for violence could be trusted. Gortash and his honeyed words and penchant for manipulation absolutely could not. (Which is ironic, when one considers Ashtoret's implicit trust in the Emperor. The determining factor, I think, was that Gortash actively screwed over Karlach, while The Emperor didn't directly screw over anyone that they knew or cared about.)
(Speaking of, survival also played into Ashtoret's decision to trust in The Emperor, rather than side with the githyanki attempting to free their captured, enslaved prince. The Emperor had been ensuring their survival thus far. The githyanki were an unknown factor. If the prince were freed, he could just as easily turn on them and slaughter them all for being larval ghaik, just like the rest of his kin. Better the devil they knew, the one that they knew was protecting them, even if they didn't care much for keeping a sentient being imprisoned.)
Survival meant playing along and leaning in to the traits Sarevok and the other Bhaalists wanted to see when facing the Murder Tribunal to gain access to Orin and save Lae'zel from capture. It meant letting their absolute joy at putting a bloody end to Gortash for all he'd done infect their voice, conveying a level of bloodlust not actually inherent within them. It meant slaughtering the little celestial detective (who was already on their shitlist for profiling the tiefling refugees as responsible for the series of murders) without a moment's hesitation and accepting a baptism in blood to become an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal.
Did Ashtoret much care for the rot of Bhaal spreading through the sewers and the city itself like a cancer? No. Could they and theirs survive the battle against the entire cult right then and there? Also, no. Thus, they turned an 'innocent' into a pincushion and sank deep into a bath of blood, overflowing with unholy power.
This would not be the only time a baptism of blood marked their decision to take an innocent life in service of reaching or fighting the Elder Brain. In fact, one might call their bloody baptism and "rebirth" as an Unholy Assassin symbolic foreshadowing for their much more literal rebirth upon stealing the life of Orpheus while the afterbirth of their old flesh sloughed off of their new illithid form.
Lastly, survival meant that they did not feel nearly the moral qualms one might argue that they should with their new diet. It requires ending an intelligent, sentient, sapient life. But as a hunter, they're all too familiar with needing to take life to preserve their own. Illithid feast upon brain matter as surely as a wolf would feast upon a lamb, and only a fool would shame the wolf for acting in accordance with its nature.
For the sake of their own continued existence, they would deny that they are falling into Nature's design for a mind flayer. That they are above their baser instincts and will end themselves before they slip into becoming a true monstrosity.
However, they of all people should have known that no man nor beast on any plane is truly so above their instincts as they might believe.
Heya, this isn’t my project but I found this today and wanted to give it a share to give it more exposure ! It’s amazing that more people want to tell the Wittebane story !!!
I’m too busy on my own animations to participate but I can’t wait to see what they will come up with, please go leave them some nice comments on YouTube to help the algorithm, their trailer is beautiful !