Post Traumatic Manifesto - Tumblr Posts
quick chemical girl doodle
shes so me
NEW WEEVILDOING SONG AND TPTM GIRL JUST DROPPED YESTERDAY?????? HELLO???????
JUST LISTENED AND HOLY SHIT ANOTHER ONE
WEEVIL STOP DROPPING BANGERS I CAN RELATE TO /j
NEW WEEVILDOING SONG AND TPTM GIRL JUST DROPPED YESTERDAY?????? HELLO???????
new tptm oc dropped
chat meet mirror girl (eyestrain warning)
(text: THERE'S NOTHING LEFT / I THREW IT ALL AWAY / WHEN I DECIDED TO BITE BACK)
i did that thing where you use only the shitty ibispaint default palette colors
her top and skirt are supposed to be reflective but i am NOT good enough to render that yet..... also this was just minimal rendering/sketch soooo :|
she has gloves and a high shock that resembles balljointed doll limbs so yeah thats what those are, and a choker for good measure
lore drop below cut (cw: self esteem/image issues, depersonalization, bullying/mistreatment)
so like.... her Deal(tm) is like struggling with self image, depersonalization and maltreatment from those around her. imagine her as like a mix of chemical girl and disposable girl.
the main issue, and what spawned her name is the self image and depersonalization. she looks in the mirror and she doesnt see herself. she just sees some. vessel. body. she doesnt see her soul when she looks into her own eyes. she just sees cold, dead irises like glass eyes on a porcelain doll. a disconnect near impossible to describe.
the way she's treated doesnt help. she's treated incredibly horribly, often only being treated nicely when people want something from her. played with like a toy and then discarded over and over. even though she was normally kind, after awhile, that kind of shit starts to wear. time passed, she got bitter. and as she got bitter, her image got worse. she started to seek more and more attention, good and bad, lashing out at people, and becoming more of a shell than she was before. at this point she's nothing more than a pretty doll. placed in front of a plastic vanity to gaze at her lifeless reflection for hours on end.
i'll make a carrd or fake profile for her eventually but here's the info that she'd put on there:: - 23, she/it - hpd, bpd... probably more - in love with anything shiny and retro as well as dolls
blinkies:
last seen listening to: One of Repetition by Nekomushi
quote: ☆ did you know the liberty bell is a replica? ☆
i'll write up the journal entry when i make her mockup page
edit: horribly done icon
the kanji in the background is kagami / 鏡 which means mirror
ok i finished mirror girl's page thing
cw on the journal entry
i think i did good 👍
more stuff down below
journal entry text in full:
" I dont get it. I genuinely dont understand anymore. Everything Ive ever known or come to love has been deconstructed. Now either every cell in my body is on fire, begging me to scream, or I feel absolutely nothing. Even as I am, I usually feel /something/. Even if its the hollowest of emotions. But lately, its truly, absolutely, in all its raw emptiness, nothing. Im sure if I looked in the mirror these eyes would look even deader than they usually do. And, nobody's noticed. Quite literally the only thing people notice is how I dress or how I have a 'resting bitch face.' In all honesty, though, at least they notice that. Maybe they're not piecing together /why/ I have a resting bitch face, but they're noticing. And that's enough. I hardly care at this point. Ive come to accept my task of "sit still and be pretty-" to accept my role as a beautiful, eye-catching doll that people either want to break like a child or keep to themselves. At least Im not entirely useless. I think. Or maybe I need to think less, because my head is starting to hurt. I'll rest and come back to these thoughts some other time. "
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fixed icon because it looked really shitty (still does but less so):
display persona:
oh hell no im getting attached oh man oh god oh man oh god oh man (/silly)
edit: i . pasted the journal entry wrong. its MUCH shorter in the image and i pasted the entry i wrote in the notes app. uelp.