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i follow the advice of john darnielle therefore i believe that there’s gonna come a day when i feel better and also that if i can’t beat them make them bleed like pigs
i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here
“You will die. You will not live forever. Nor will any man or any thing. Nothing is immortal. But only to us is it given to know that we must die. And that is a great gift: The gift of selfhood. For we have only what we know we must lose, what we are willing to lose… That selfhood which is our torment, and our treasure, and our humanity, does not endure. It changes; it is gone, a wave on the sea. Would you have the sea grow still and the tides cease, to save one wave, to save yourself? Would you give up the craft of your hands, and the passion of your heart, and the light of sunrise and sunset, to buy safety for yourself - safety forever?”
— Ursula K. Le Guin, The Farthest Shore