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This is the shit i wrote about kremy last night. Dislaimer this is very self indulgent and i do mention myself here but yeah. This is for the two people that wanted to read it mwah! Another disclaimer this is just a 4am ramble and i doubt its anything more than a summary of a bunch of episodes. Obviously, spoilers for ouaw ahead, especially the last few eps.
Hello yes it is me the leader of Kremy nation welcome to the party the room is empty there is no party just me and my thoughts about one Kremy Lecroux.
I think I have to point out at the beginning that being suicidal in Avantris, in the world of D&D in general, is completely different to being suicidal here, in our reality. We have religion, we have beliefs, sure. But no matter how much we believe in those things, there’s no concrete proof of the existence of the afterlife. Of any kind of an afterlife. We don’t know what comes next. Now, in D&D, afterlife is tangible. It’s a very real thing that exists. I’m not an expert, I don’t know most things about D&D but from my humble understanding, after a person dies, their souls go on a journey to an afterlife. One of a few possibilities. To my knowledge, your afterlife depends on what you did as a living being, similarly to how we view heaven and hell etc. So although it was a bit shocking to me that Kremy pointed out just how spiritual he is in episode 45, it makes total sense.
Here’s another part where I wish I knew more about D&D. Kremy is a warlock, warlocks have patrons. Patrons provide those whom they teach with magical abilities, and also a form of protection. I don’t think it’s a general rule that patrons have something to do with the afterlife, but Kremy’s patron, Baron Samedi, does. And he’s a proper figure in voodoo religion here on our planet. Referencing Kremy in episode 45, the Baron wants to ensure a good afterlife for his warlocks. A “fun” afterlife, a “party of skeletons”. Kremy talks fondly of him, why wouldn’t he, and at some points he even repeats the phrase “the Baron provides” when he’s particularly blessed with magic (fanfic flashbacks). In the episode 45 speech, Kremy at some point says:
“When I die, I want to have a good time too.”
“Too” as in… he wants to have as much fun as the Baron and those who are already partying in the afterlife or as much fun as he’s having while being alive. I will come back to this. So Kremy being spiritual is not weird, the afterlife is real, magic is real, when Kremy dies, and fulfills certain conditions, he will be provided with a cool afterlife. Great. Wait, what was that about conditions?
This is where I’ll jump into introducing another character. Remy Garou. Bastard man who I hope suffers a painful death but he won’t because he’s canonically alive for at least 15 years after the events of Once Upon a Witchlight. Remy Garou is on the top of the list of top ten evil exes. He’s the one that introduced Kremy to magic, to the Baron. In fact, we got a quite detailed description of Kremy meeting Remy for the first time (yes I’m aware they sound like weird twins but they’re really not they’re not even the same species).
And wow. That first meeting was gay as shit. I don’t even want to talk about it, I can only mention that Kremy has a type when it comes to men. Whatever toxic romance these two had doesn’t matter (ALTHOUGH I WISH I KNEW MORE ABOUT IT), the important part now is that Remy is not a cool guy and he will murder Kremy and his friends if they don’t pay the money they owe him. Except. He won’t kill them. This is the condition that I previously mentioned. In the episode 45 speech Kremy said that he will only be granted his dream afterlife if he’s on good terms with all the other warlocks the Baron is the patron of. Remy has power over Kremy in this situation of debt, instead of being murdered, sent away to the realms above or beyond, Kremy and the Krew will be turned into uh… weird swamp creatures and they will forever live in constant pain. Not cool.
AND IN A WEIRD TURN OF EVENTS THAT INCLUDE A MUSHROOM TRIP.
Kremy lost his memory of Remy. He exchanged the memory of their first meeting for a vision, he didn’t know the memory would be lost. Remy’s existence was entirely erased from the minds of Kremy, and the entire Krew. They still remember the debt, just not the consequences. Kremy now doesn’t know that if he fails to pay the debt, he will fail to fulfill the conditions of getting into his dream afterlife. And that’s when the suicidal thoughts really kicked in.
No that wasn’t the first time I clocked Kremy as suicidal or depressed. The first time I noticed something was clearly wrong was when they stood outside of Bavlorna’s hut, when they were so high up, they could only see a sea of clouds spreading out beside them. And in that moment Kremy mentioned that when he stands in high places, he gets this weird desire to jump, just an intrusive thought. He said he would never do it, but he feels like he wants to. He named this “the call of the void”. Naturally I thought “yeah of course I think of that when I’m high above ground” but both Frost and Gricko said that no, they never think of that. And that it’s a weird thing to think. Oh okay. And they never spoke of it again. From that point on I was kind of on a lookout for more signs of the void calling. I hear it everyday, apparently Kremy does too. I have this gaydar thing for depressed people apparently.
And when Kremy forgot about the consequences of his debt, when he forgot that his afterlife would be taken away, the void started screaming. It was almost instant, the way he started saying that hey, he might as well just drown, he might as well just get thrown off the shelf, he might as well get eaten by a beaver. Why not, just let this be over. It got so intense to the point that he got called out on it, but hey, it’s Once Upon a Witchlight and serious moments don’t last long in less significant situations. Without the fear of not being able to go to the Baron’s skeleton party, Kremy just wants to die.
This answers the question previously stated. When Kremy dies, he wants to have a good time too. Because he’s not having a good time being alive.
I fear people will either say “Nooooo that’s not true Kremy loves Gideon! Why would he want to die! He doesn’t want to die, he has so much to live for! Like Gideon!” or “Yeah Kremy sucks he doesn’t love his friends he’s a shitty guy he doesn’t truly love anything I don’t like Kremy”. (I don’t actually think that I’m just so goddamn paranoid it’s embarrassing.) That’s not how it works. You can love someone and something and still want to be dead. I don’t think he’s just sad, obviously it goes deeper. It’s not basic trauma, this goes far beyond Kremy’s want to be a different person, to be cooler, more dapper, more elegant, richer. Yes, Kremy is quite paranoid and I doubt he fully believes in who he created himself to be (obviously obviously obviously) but he does, from a technical point of view, have things and people to live for. But that’s not how it works.
In my love for Kremy, in a way of begging for my own happiness, I hope he will have a good time being alive. I hope I will too. I love tragedy in fiction, Kremy’s writing is brilliant and I should be thanking Richie every second of my pathetic life for creating Kremy. But I can’t detach myself from Kremy emotionally, I want him to be happy.
but i also want him to suffer just a bit more so i can squeeze every single fact about his life and mind out of him eeheheheheheheheheheeh okay its 4am goodnight