Rachalixie - Tumblr Posts
This is so beautiful I’m 🥺🥺🥺 letting someone be your breath, what a gorgeous metaphor, brb crying <3
a/n: cracks knuckles busting out some rusty writing skills for a teeny comfort thing. imagine changbin in a comfy hoodie. eee. tw: mental health, hurt/comfort
“bin,” you reach a hand out towards him in a greeting as he walks through your front door, palm upturned for him to take. “come here?”
“what if i don’t want to?” he teases, a normal thing for your typical dynamic with him. usually, he’d tease and you’d tease back, going back and forth for a bit. usually, he would relent within a minute, giving in to your every desire like he was fundamentally unable to disobey you. usually, you’d be within his arms within mere seconds, and the conversation that preceded it would be forgotten.
but today, with the way your head has been jumbled into knots since you woke up, his words seem real. hot, traitorous tears well in your eyes as you turn away from him, curling your hand into your stomach. you blink rapidly, trying to clear the blur in your vision, and you nearly miss him rounding your couch and crouching in front of you.
“hey, you know i didn’t mean it,” worry drips off his words and that makes you feel worse; he cups your face in his palm and runs his thumb under your eye, but it comes away dry. you don’t want to let the tears fall.
“sorry, i-” your breath catches on the word and a horrible mix of shame and embarrassment takes over, making your body deflate completely. “i don’t know.”
but you do know. you want him to know without having to say it. you want him to understand everything, for him to know when things are wrong even before he lays eyes on you. you want him to know which one day out of every hundred that you can’t handle banter, you want him by you all the time and you want him to want to be there. but above all else, you want to not be a mess like this.
“that’s okay,” he soothes, leaning forward to press a kiss to your head. he lifts you up and spins, plopping down and pulling you with him until you’re straddled on top of him. his arms cage you against his chest, every inch of you feels connected to him, like a soothing balm for injuries that your eyes can’t see. he doesn’t ask if it’s okay, doesn’t check to see if you want to be left alone, because despite your worries he does know you.
you let out a sigh into his t-shirt, replacing your breath with the scent of his laundry detergent. you try and focus on his heartbeat, letting the thumps of life under his skin wash away any coherent lines of thought.
“whatever is happening in here,” he bumps his chin against the top of your head gently. “is real. you’re not crazy, okay?”
“feels like i am,” you mumble, burrowing further into him. you don’t have it in you to argue. you don’t fully believe him, but his perception of you matters more than your own.
“it’ll be okay,” he says, and despite his constant claims that he never knows the right thing to say, it’s working well enough right now. “this will pass, you know it will.”
“what if it doesn’t this time?” it’s a constant worry, that the way when things are okay will never come.
“then we will figure it out together,” he takes a breath and your body moves along with him like riding waves. “i’m not letting you go anywhere without me by your side.”
it’ll be tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that where you will wake up and be able to breathe on your own again. but today, like every one in a hundred day that comes like this, he can breathe for you.
Literally one of my favorite authors 🥺🥺🥺
「☆ hi, welcome, stay a while! ☆」
anny, she/they, 25
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