Self Conscious Reader - Tumblr Posts
Comparison
Newt Scamander x Reader
Requested by: @newtscamanderimagines
Word count: 1431 words
Summary: All your life you felt self conscious about yourself compared to your sister but luckily a certain wizard is about to change that.
Warnings: Reader compares herself to Tina and Queenie; Reader talking bad about herself
You sighed. You had still many things to do but instead of doing them you were staring yet again at the mirror. Bothered by the reflection, which looked back at you. Every time you looked at yourself you seemed to find more issues. Like why were you not as skinny as Tina? Why didn’t your eyes have the same spark inside them like Queenie’s? The list could go on and on. As you may have noticed you often compared yourself to your two older sisters, but you weren’t completely at fault for that. Since you were born your sisters were better than you and you were always compared to them by your mother. “(Y/N)?”, the soft voice of Queenie called. Quickly you wiped the tears away that you can’t remember spilling.
“Yes?”
“Where going out searching for Newts creatures. Do you want to come with us?”, the mention of the man, on which you managed to have a big crush on, made your heart flutter, and your cheeks and ears blush.
“Um, sure. Let’s go,” you tried your best to conceal the fact that you were crying not a minute ago. You looked one last time in the mirror and walked out of your room to put your coat on.
Together with Newt, Jakob, and your sisters you were trying your hardest to search for any signs of the creatures from Newt.
“We’re going to find them, Newt,” Tina encouraged when you all came home with no trace of the missing creatures. She put a hand on Newt’s shoulder in response to that he smiled at her. You suspected for a long time that the two liked each other and this suspicion was confirmed by the look they gave one another. You sadly walked past them knowing you have no chance with him.
“Where are you going, sweetie? We’re going to have dinner soon,” Queenie called while hugging Jakob’s arm.
“I’m not hungry,” you stated. With your back turned you couldn’t see the concern in Newt’s eyes. You continued your way to your room with your head down.
The mix of chatter and laughter from the living room filled your ears, while you were laying on your bed staring at the ceiling. Tears run down your cheeks straining them with mascara. Unknown to you the little brown eyes of a certain bowtruckle with attachment issues were watching your miserable state. Pickett quietly left your room unnoticed by you. Truth to be told the little creature saw that his owner and you liked each other much more than friends from the moment you had seen one another. Since then, Pickett tried to bring the two of you together. Pickett walked to his owner and climbed on Newt’s shoulder. He tucked at a strand of Newt’s hair, which startled Newt a little. Pickett squeaked and pointed to the hallway.
“What is it, Pickett?” Newt asked confused. Pickett squeaked and pointed to the hallway again angrier and more desperate this time, showing Newt his matter was of great importance. Newt excused himself and followed Pickett’s directions. He got more concerned the nearer they walked to your room.
When they stood directly before Newt’s heart broke at the sound of the sobs you couldn’t hold back anymore.
The sound off someone knocking at your door made you jump up into a sitting position.
“(Y/N)? Can I please come in?” you heard Newt’s soft voice full of concern and sadness. You quickly wiped the tears away and made a big mistake. You looked into the mirror again. Your eyes were red and puffy, and your cheeks were stained with a mix of tears and mascara. You just felt overall ugly and immediately felt like crying again.
“Please, (Y/N). Let me in,” Newt’s soft voice called again, with an undertone of concern. You tried your best at wiping the mascara away and slowly walked to your door. You took a second thinking of your options but opened the door eventually. It was known that Newt isn’t really a hugger, but he couldn’t help himself when he saw you. In Newt’s arms you broke down again. For a moment he thought he had done something wrong, but you made it clear to him that you were comfortable when you clutch at his shirt pulling him even closer.
“What’s wrong?” Newt asked with sympathy in his eyes when you calmed down a bit. You didn’t really want him to know, so he was met with silence. Newt pulled away a bit in order to look into your eyes.
“Y-you can talk to me, (Y/N). You know that don’t you? So please? I want to see you smile again,” he begged.
“I-,” you could feel tears building up again, “I just don’t feel like I’m good enough compared to my sisters,”
“What do you mean?” he carefully asked. He didn’t want to push you but also wanted to understand what was bothering you. You sighed and watching how you began to play with your finger.
“I’m not as good as them in witchcraft neither am I as social. My eyes aren’t as special as Queenies. My hair is always a mess not like my sisters theirs is always perfect. My body isn’t as beautiful as theirs. I’m completely ugly. My-,”
“Alright, stop!” Newt interrupted your rambling, “I’ll not let you say those bad things about yourself,” you looked surprised up in Newt’s eyes.
“You’re so beautiful! Inside and out-,“
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better. You don’t mean that,”
“H-how can I just say that w-when you made me fall in love with you?” Newt whispered nervously now too looking down not daring to meet your eyes in fear he would see disgust written on your face.
“Y-you love me?” you asked not sure if you heard him correctly. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.
“I love you,” Newt repeated louder this time. You still couldn’t believe what you had heard.
“Say something,” he pleated.
“I- but you’re in love with Tina,” it wasn’t what you wanted to say but the only thing you managed to choke out.
“What?”
“I- I mean you are always by her side and look at her like-,” you stopped your meaningless ramble when you noticed that your noses were nearly touching.
“Like?” he asked, and you could have sworn that you saw his eyes flickered shortly to your lips.
“Like she’s the most beautiful girl in the world,” you whispered as if it was a secret, and no one should know about it.
“But the most beautiful girl sits right before me,” Newt whispered back feeling his heart thumbing so wildly it already hurts. You just furrowed your brows and lowered your eyes. He carefully put a hand under your chin to lift your head so that you had to look into his eyes.
“Y-you don’t believe me? Then let me please convince you?” he asked hopefully in a moment of bravery. You slightly tilted your head in confusion but nodded anyway.
“I love your nose. I don’t know if you know but you scrunch it when you concentrate and meanwhile look incredibly cute.
I love your eyes. How your beautifully (Y/E/C) eyes twinkle with curiosity when you try to understand something or when someone tells a story,” The list went on until he complimented nearly every body part of you. You again had tears in your eyes but this time of joy. He even made yourself laugh about your insecurities.
“By the way I love you too,” you grinned.
“Really?” you nodded. In response to that Newt leaned slowly in, giving you enough time to back away. You slightly opened your mouth and met his lips mid-way. His kiss was pretty soft, but he didn’t fail to convey the love he felt for you. His right hand cupped your cheek, and his left was on your waist. Your hands were on his neck playing with the ends of his hair. You both pulled yourselves even closer to one another. When you eventually pulled away to catch some breath you just stared in each other’s eyes. After a few more kisses Newt laid down on your bed pulling you down with him, so you were comfortably laying on his chest. You talked for a bit, but you eventually fell asleep cuddled up in your loves embrace.
“Sweet dreams, my love,” Newt whispered and gave you one last kiss on your forehead before falling asleep himself.