Seriously They're So Accurate - Tumblr Posts
my mother gave me life but i'd give up mine for these headcanons.
HCS I HAVE FOR THE SCREAM BOYS THAT I CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT !!
(ignore how odd this is, i just have to share these thoughts w everyone.. i swear i think about these men every damn second of the day. i’m very big on stu especially bc.. IT’S STU MACHER HELLO? my ask box is open if anyone has any questions or requests! i honestly do think my love for writing is slowly returning. and that is exactly what i wanted to happen! i hope you enjoy my random ass hcs for my fav boys from scream😭)
— includes; randy meeks, billy loomis, mickey altieri and stu macher !!
WORD COUNT: (I CBA TO CHECK IM SO SORRY)
WARNINGS: none, though some hcs that i have written might be a little modern than others!
RANDY
• Idc what y’all say, this man is OBSESSED with Funko Pops
• Honestly, I feel that he’s well aware of the fact that he has an interest for collector’s items
• Bro.. he would squeal if you took him to places like HMV or Hot Topic
• When he was informed that the Video Store (his workplace) would begin to sell some Funkos of infamous movie characters since that was literally the whole theme of the place, he died off. HE. DIED. OFF.
• Billy and Stu have occasionally dropped by to rent some more horror movies, also teasing him about the pops and telling the whole store it was a.. kink? More Stu’s bad way of putting it, shall we say..
“Can you take their clothes off?” Stu asked curiously.
Randy began to get flustered as Stu proceeded to take the small statue out of the box, knowing he’d get another harsh telling off if his boss found out it was Randy’s “friends” ruining stock.
“They’re plastic dumbass,” Billy remarked. “It’s practically molded onto their figure.”
“Can you guys please sto-”
Stu snorted. “Well you can take the clothes off Barbie dolls and shit like that, can’t you? They even have parts.. uh- you know?”
“Wha- no, these aren’t like tha-”
Randy was cut off once again as Billy spoke up and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the taller male. “You really stripped the clothes off of dolls just to investigate when you were a kid?”
Randy and Billy both shared the same look as Stu grinned wickedly.
…
And then it came. “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” Yep. Classic Stu.
• Wherever this mf goes, he always ends up eating a bag of potato chips. Nor you or his friends know where he pulls them from, but he does, he just does..
BILLY
• There is so much I could say about Billy boy here..
(He’d most likely tell you to go fuck yourself if you called him that. Well, depending on who you are lmao)
• If you are the kind of person who loves that shitty trending pop music, you are probably better off hanging out with Stu for the day. Because Billy HATES it
• He’s not particularly into heavy metal, i’d say more grunge. Stu bullies him for it but gets an ass whooping later so, eh
• If he gets woken up in the middle of the night, he’s one cranky fucker about it. This man priorities his sleep. He almost broke the cable to the house phone after Stu kept calling him one night, complaining on how he couldn’t sleep and that he wanted to go somewhere. After Billy not being able to get back into dreamland, he gave in. Pretty sure Stu ended up choosing the McDonald’s drive thru, much to Billy’s annoyance.
(That shit happens way too often but hey, who doesn’t like late night drives?)
• Billy wants a piercing but at the same time, he doesn’t? He’s not sure if he can really commit to it or not, but he does think people with piercings are cool!
• Plus his Dad would probably kick him out over something as stupid as that. Billy would just tell him to get bent either way lol
• He can be quite a germaphobe. Sick people scare the living FUCK out of him
• You have a cold? Aw, pity. DO. NOT. APPROACH. BILLY. LOOMIS.
• Stu accidentally sneezed on him once and Billy literally felt his heart stop. He showered about three times that day.. maybe more? Fuck knows, man 😭
MICKEY
• Something about him and the song Paparazzi.. IDK WHAT IT IS BUT IT JUST.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
• He’s very open about his opinions, as we all know. If you dissed his fav movie or TV show, bam bam bitch he’s gonna answer you and he ain’t gonna be so fucking nice about it 🫡
• Literal Beyoncé stan. I swear whenever her music is playing and y’all are at a party, he def wants to have a lil boogie with you
• Mickey is the one person you know to have a weird, WEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIRRRRRD obsession with black coffee..
HE LOVES IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH, YK?
• You, Mickey and Randy were all out at the mall once and some little girl ran up to him saying he looked like Edward Cullen?
Randy just had no idea how kids had the balls to say whatever the fuck they wanted, meanwhile Mickey didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or not..
“Vampires who sparkle like a fucking Hello Kitty sticker? Wow, new name for ya, Mick..” You giggled.
• Really spoiled, bratty girls with all their designer gear is a big no no for him, he just hates them 😭
• You catch him watching all the true crime documentaries. He even has books about America’s most popular serial killers. TONS, of books
STU
• This man, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE FOLKS!!
• Stu is literally every personality combine. Like a lab experiment gone wild, honestly
• He asks you the weirdest questions sometimes. They are so random and beyond unexpected lol
“Wait, do you think clowns can also honk their di-”
• Stu has the most ridiculous obsession with boobs. Randy now calls him the titty monster anytime Jamie Lee Curtis shows up in the horror movies they’re watching
• He was BORN a dog lover
• Annoys Billy anytime he gets a new girlfriend
• I can picture him eating anything blue raspberry flavoured he can find. CANDY GOO, BLUE SOUR PATCH KIDS, YOU NAME IT😭😭
• Has the best snack cupboard no one else can compare to having in their house
• He’s the kind of guy to stick his tongue out to kids in public just so he can get a giggle out of them!
• Loves it when him and the gang go out to the cinema. Which is more often than you’d expect
• Has like, the LONGEST list of cinema snacks when y’all are paying to get your food
these men all have their differences, but all expect one thing. THEY BE FINE AS HELLLLLL (anyways, hope you enjoyed this little list of hcs i have for my favs. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!!! :D