Seungmin Comfort - Tumblr Posts

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Somewhere only we know

Somewhere Only We Know

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Pairing: Seungmin X gn reader

Summary: You find yourself in an overwhelming pit of depression when your boyfriend interrupts with a plan to cheer you up.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.7K

Trigger warning: Depression and self-hatred.

A/N: I finally got around to this request!! This idea has lived rent free in my head for a while, so I'm glad I've finally gotten the chance to put it to good use. This might be one of the only pieces I've written that has me giggling and blushing. Enjoy <3

_ _ _

The lights were off again and the ghosts were roaming. Whispers of hatred and the acidic self-insecurity had taken control of the reigns. You couldn’t remember the last time you smiled. It had been so long since you spoke, you couldn’t remember what your voice sounded like. 

What was new? Trapped in another bottomless pit. Choking and screaming, you used to fight to stay floating, but something had just changed recently. Why was it so hard to be happy? 

 When did waking up feel like a chore? The walk to the bathroom felt like climbing Everest. Picking up your toothbrush was like picking up a boulder. Why did it all have to be so hard? 

There was a permanent curve in your spine now. You couldn’t remember when your eyes were bright. Everything was easy when you were a naive child. Unfortunately, time changed and life went on. You didn’t have the safety of adults surrounding you. 

That was the one thing that truly sucked about getting older. Sure, you could have friends and you had your boyfriend, but you had to face your battles alone. Your friends couldn’t make life choices for you. It’s not their responsibility to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. 

It’s something you struggled with. Part of you wanted someone to reach out. You wanted a helping hand and yet you didn’t. You wanted to be entirely alone and at peace. Let your eyes glaze over and the muted TV screen colors melt together. You weren’t even paying attention anymore. 

The episodes of ‘The Great British Bake-Off’ blurred together. There were Italian cakes and pies. There were French pastries that you had no idea how to pronounce. The blend of sweet treats meddled in your mind. 

You used to watch this show with such passion. Happily rooting for your favorites and becoming distraught when your favorites went home. Rolling your eyes at silly technical flaws and gasping when desserts fell apart. 

With a scoff and a “I could do that better and I’m not even a baker,” you used to amuse Seungmin. You were the one that introduced him to the show. The two of you used to taunt each other over who could bake what dessert better. They were empty taunts and free fun, nothing less and nothing more. 

You missed him. You missed him more than words described. It had been a while since the two of you had been around each other. Comeback seasons were always hard and there wasn’t enough time to juggle a relationship and his career. 

You didn’t mind it, but he did. He was always feeling awful about not being around. Interview questions kept him preoccupied. Photoshoot poses had to be shot without his cell phone. Music videos had tight deadlines with all hands on deck. 

It wasn’t really a surprise that the last text you sent him this morning went unanswered, but you still missed him. You missed those teasing and the taunts and the- 

What are you doing?

A soft sigh escaped your lips and you shut your eyes. Even the memory of him was starting to physically make your heart ache. The two of you had been dating for a while and yet, you still weren’t used to these few weeks where life seemed a bit emptier. 

Struggling with your mental health only made it harder. Were these dark shadows eternal? Were you cursed to drown in this wave of sadness? Maybe you weren’t meant for all of this. The never-ending wheel of misery that life seemed to be. 

You were spiraling and you couldn’t help it. You squeezed your eyes shut and reached for the remote. Screw it, you were heading towards bed. That exhaustion always seemed to seep into your soul lately. Sleep was the best temporary cure for it. It was starting to get late anyway. 

You pushed yourself up, picked up the remote, and then your body froze. Your ears perked up and you shifted towards your front door. Surely, nobody would be here at this hour? It was almost ten in the evening. 

You swallowed your nerves and stood up. Wooden floorboards creaked beneath your weight. The doorbell rang once more. Closer and closer you inched to the door. Closer and closer until… 

“I know you’re in there! Don’t leave me out here, it’s hot! I can hear you watching that stupid baking show. Let me in! This shit is heavy!” 

You blinked in shock at the sound of Seungmin’s voice. Your hand outstretched and it didn’t take long for you to yank the door open. There your boyfriend stood with two hands full of plastic bags. 

“Thank god, you’re still awake, I thought you’d be asleep. Now move your ass and let me in.” 

“What are you-” 

“Don’t ask until I have it all put together. Go sit on the couch and I’ll tell you when you’re done. You’re not allowed in the kitchen, so if you need me, just holler.” 

“But why? You have work tomorrow and yo-” 

“Nuh-uh. We finished everything early and the company gave us the next two days off. I’ve missed my significant other. Let’s go, haul your ass!” 

He was used to your apartment. This was his home away from home. This safety net of love and compassion. He knew where you stored everything. He knew where your secrets hid and he had seen your inner demons roam. 

You sighed at his insistence, but went back to the living room anyway. Sinking back into the couch, you glanced out of the corner of your eye. The kitchen was partly hidden by the bar counter that shot out of a distant wall. You didn’t know what he was doing with all the bags. 

“If you’re making dinner,” you finally mustered up the courage, “we could have ordered takeout.” 

“We’re not making dinner, but speaking of that, have you eaten?” 

You frowned and your eyes went to the coffee table. The remote and a near full plastic bottle of water were sitting there. You thought it’d be easier to drink water from a water bottle, but it wasn’t. 

“Not yet,” you admitted. “I’ve kind of been too soaked up in the show, I’ve been binging it.” 

Seungmin knew that response was bullshit, but he wasn’t going to press you about it. He knew something was up with you when you stopped responding to his texts. He’d have to wait hours before he’d get a single response. He tried to answer as soon as he could, but then you wouldn’t respond. 

He knew how much you liked to curl inward on yourself when you mentally struggled. You were good at shutting yourself away from the world. You thought it was fine, but he knew that if you kept it up, you’d collapse beneath it. 

“Okay, so you can order us some dinner. I haven’t eaten dinner either.” It was a lie, but he didn’t want to make you feel guilty for being the only one getting food. “What are we thinking?” 

“It’s getting late.” 

“So fast food, it is.” 

You chuckled and shook your head, but it didn’t sway you away. While bags ruffled and Seungmin grumbled and struggled in your kitchen, you ordered the two of yourselves food. 

“Holy shit,” you got out. 

“What? What is it? Are you okay?” He stopped what he was doing and rushed towards the living room. 

“They’re totally backed up on orders! It looks like there’s a few places closed, so if we want food, it’s going to take two hours. I mean we could go get it, but I-” 

“Do you think you can wait two hours?” 

“Can you?” You jerked your head up to glance at him. 

He grinned, “this is perfect. Go ahead and order and I’ll finish setting up.” 

“I don’t like not knowing what you’re doing.” 

“You’ll know soon enough.” 

“What do you want?” 

“The usual.” 

As you ordered, he continued to set up until he finally finished. “Okay, I’m ready! Come out here now!” 

You pushed yourself off the couch and headed towards your kitchen. Before you could make it there, he stopped you and shoved something over your head. You raised an eyebrow as you glanced down at the black apron. “What are you doing?” 

“Every baker needs an apron.” 

“Huh?” 

He grabbed something from behind you and shoved it on your head. You stared at him in shock as he adjusted the puffy white hat. “Ta-dah!” 

“Did you just put a chef hat on my head?” 

“Maybe you should be thanking me because I didn’t put a rat up there first.” 

You rolled your eyes and glanced over. A wide variety of ingredients were placed along the counter tops. Two large mixing bowls were situated on the counter behind you. You glanced at all of it in confusion. 

“What is this?” 

“Welcome to your very own version of your favorite baking show. The contestants are us and the winner gets bragging rights. The other will never be able to forget that they suck at baking.” 

“You gave me a chef hat…for baking?” 

“Cooking and baking are basically the exact same thing.” 

Your jaw dropped in shock. “I can’t believe you just said that. You watch my show with me and you still don’t know the difference? Baking is usually measured ingredients and it’s baked whereas cooking is flexible and you can add and subtract things into your di-” 

“Spoken like a true nerd. Anyway, let’s get on with the show. Chop, chop!” He clapped his hands and spun around. “Since I clothed you, I expect you to do the same. The stuff is behind you.” 

You tried not to laugh as you put the apron over his head and tied the strings. When you were finished, you placed the chef hat on his fluffy hair and tugged too hard. He yelled the moment he couldn’t see. 

“You’re cheating! Cheater! We’ve gotta cheater and the competition hasn’t even started yet!” He huffed and jerked the hat back up while you laughed. 

There it was. That melodic sound that he thought about every night before bed. It was so rich and so glorious. He wished he could experience it until the end of time. 

“You’re so dramatic!” 

“Well, someone has to call you out on cheating and I’m the only one here to do it!” 

“What are we making?” 

“What if I said I haven’t figured it out yet?” 

Your eyes glanced over in confusion. All the ingredients were sprawled out, but he didn’t know? “So what is all of th-” 

“I just picked out a bunch of random stuff,” he shrugged. “There’s some different fruits. Flour, sugar, baking powder, and baking soda. I got some different spices and some vanilla. I just figured that we’d try our best to make something out of it.” 

“We’re going into this blind?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I hope you know that this is going to be a disaster.” 

“For you, it is. For me, I’m basically a pro.” He rubbed his hands together and then clapped. “Alright, let’s get this party started!” 

You walked over to your bowl, grabbed it, and glanced at all the ingredients. “So what are you making?” 

“I’m not telling.” 

“How are we going to bake something without measuring cups?” 

He froze and his eyes widened. “Wait, I thought you had those! Please don’t tell me that you…” You shook your head. “Oh no.” 

You waved him off and shook your head a final time. “It’s fine, we can adjust. We’ll just use spoons or our hands. Speaking of that, I need to clean mine.” 

“Ha! I’m already one step ahead of you. I’d never poison the judges with germs.” 

“What judges?” 

“You.” 

“Oh.”

While you washed your hands, Seungmin headed over to the opposite counter and grabbed the flour. He started to tug, but the bag wouldn’t open fully. With a sigh of annoyance, he gripped the sides tighter and tugged. 

When you heard sputtering, you whipped around with the dish towel still in your hand. You were utterly speechless as a puff of flour blew out of Seungmin’s mouth. The two of you stared at each other in silence. 

It covered his entire face. Both of his darkened eyebrows and eyelashes were coated in it. Sun-kissed golden skin had turned moonlight pale. The chef’s hat tipped back off his head and laid on the floor behind him. A strangled giggle erupted in the back of your throat. 

“Stop it! It’s not funny!” With every word spat, flour slipped off his head. It blew off his nose and freed itself from his lips. When he brushed pale handprints on his black apron, you lost it entirely. 

Collapsing onto your knees, giggles streamed from your mouth. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop them. Every time Seungmin huffed or grumbled, you laughed harder. He looked like the abominable snowman. 

“You think this is funny, huh?” He grabbed a handful of flour from the table and chucked it your way. The snowy smoke stained the front of your own apron. 

“Hey!” You cried out as you brushed it off. “That’s not fair! You did this to yourself, don’t take it out on me!” He laughed and grabbed another handful. You screeched and ran to the other side of the kitchen. Your hat managed to fall off in the process. “Stop it!” 

“Get back here!” 

He couldn’t help it. Your smiles and laughter were so infectious. He knew it had been harder for you without him around all the time. The two day vacation from the company was a small slice of heaven. 

When you dodged one way, so did he. You slipped onto the floor as he shoved the handful of flour in your hair. You grabbed another one and shoved it to his chest. He yelped as the powdery substance slipped down his shirt. 

“Hey!” 

“You started it!” 

“You brat!” 

You didn’t know how long the two of you ran around throwing handfuls of flour at each other. Unfortunately for you, the bag of flour he had gotten was bigger than usual. Flour was all over your pants, your cheeks, and your apron. You were even sure it had entered your armpit. 

You finally collapsed onto the ground in the leftover piles. A powdered haze settled over the area. Both of you were breathless and full of delight. 

“Okay,” Seungmin managed to get out, “we call it a tie for now.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Next time, we’ll prepare better.” 

“With an actual recipe,” you added. 

“With an actual recipe,” he agreed. 

The two of you stayed silent for a while. Your eyes shut and you panted. It had been so long since you had a little fun. You forgot how small things like this tended to fossilize in our hearts. This tiny memory was one that you’d remember with such joy and delight, you’d never forget it. 

“I think I choked on too much flour. Everything tastes like bland ass and-” 

“You’ve eaten ass?” 

“You’re about to eat this fist.” 

You laughed and sprawled out your limbs. Your eyes shut and before you knew it, your limbs began to move. Up and down, up and down, up and down. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Snow angel.” 

“This isn’t snow.” 

“A flour angel is the same concept.” 

Seungmin pushed himself up and stared over at you. A small smile was on your face as your body moved up and down. Sure enough, it looked like an angel was forming behind you. The blank pits of the floor created the illusion of wings where your arms were shifting. 

His own smile appeared on his face. Your flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. God, he wished he could keep you happy like this forever. He knew he couldn’t, but he’d sure try. 

“Okay, come on, angel.” He stood up and reached out a hand towards you. “We’ve gotta go shower and clean this mess up before the food arrives.” 

“Or we could just stay here for a little longer.” 

“Or we could just go get cleaned up, so we don’t smell like grain.” 

“You always have to ruin the fun,” you huffed. 

“Who said the fun had to stop at the shower? You never know what might-” 

You were up within seconds and rushing towards the shower. All he could do was playfully roll his eyes and chuckle. You left white footprints the entire way there. He wanted to lecture you, but for now, he was just glad you were smiling again 

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