Short And Sad - Tumblr Posts

You know I have an idea involving nine seeing his whole self. Perhaps in some sort of shard somewhere and perhaps Nine seeing shards of Tails and Sonic being bothers and possibly seeing the event that led him to being by sonics side.

It makes me think that if he had an angry outburst it would be him shouting how without him he isn’t whole (The whole being the life he could have) but with him being whole he would not exist (Nine is a variant in time with years of angst and his own memories, least how the theory goes of them all being shards of the original selves) Nine would never remember and be erased and while he’ll be glad of not having his past anguish happened, it wouldn’t be him anymore. Unless he does something about it.

I’m probably making it more complicated and sorry about that. What are your thoughts on this?

Nine would be horrified.

All of that trauma, all of his efforts, all of his friendship with Sonic.

Just to be a shard of someone he could never become? There his 'whole self' was, fluffy, healthy, happy, the last being something Nine desperately wanted.

He... still wants it.

But was this his choice or what he was made to choose?

He didn't know anymore.

He remembers yelling at Sonic, yelling at him for something even the speedster himself didn't know, ignoring the knawing guilt and self-hatred when those emerald eyes filled with pain and sadness at his cutting remarks.

He stormed away after that, leaving the hedgehog to wallow in his misery. He wasn't a person, but with Sonic he felt like he was. A person worthy of being loved, worthy of kindness, worthy of care. But was that all a lie? Did the hedgehog only care for him because of what he was?

Did Sonic only love him because he was a part of Tails?

Did he even love him for HIM?

Or was it merely because Nine could find a way to fix the world with the shards because Nine would find a way to erase the shattered space like it was nothing? Because they thought Nine would willingly off himself just to be nothing more than a trait?

No.

He wasn't just a trait. He was his own person. And he's not going to go back to being one. He isn't going to just wallow in self-pity, he's going to do something about it.

This world, the shatterverse, the GRIM, they'd all just be erased just like that.

But Nine isn't going to just let that happen.

No.

He's going to do something about it, whether the others, whether SONIC likes it or not.

"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain"

This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.

This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.

Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.

But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. He stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.

He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.

Life Form With PTSD Meets Broken Eight Year Old (lol)

When that thing the kid and Shadow first interacted, Shadow had found him in what looked to be Eggman's base, only it seemed to be falling apart, debris and burning parts of the structure crashing and falling to the ground below in a city the doctor must've managed to take over. The civilians of the city surrounded the suddenly burning headquarters, curious on what happened. Just seeing the city brought shame and slight sadness to him. However, upon hearing about prisoners and people still being in there, Shadow went inside to try and help them to safety. The ruined and bleak state of the world he was supposed to protect, to keep safe, a godawful hellscape, with a giant building falling apart in the middle, revealing the insides like a blooming flower from hell.  He had a slightly morbid curiosity on who would do something like this and then sudden and unrelated rage that this to be because of Sonic shattering the world. If that blue idiot had just listened to him!-

He was interrupted from his raging thoughts when his ears perked up to metal clinking around on the ground of the long halls. He originally tensed thinking it was a robot, however, he quickly noted that the metallic foot falls were far too light and too fast for a tin robot. Not a second after that note, the shadow appeared in front of him at the end of the burning hall.

When he first saw the kid in the long hallway, he was originally unable to see them due to the fire behind it casting the thing in shadow. But when a part of the burning ceiling collapsed in front of them - and startling the life form into taking a sudden step back (the kid didn’t even flinch-) -  bringing it to light, he didn't know what to think or say out of shock and slight disgust. The sight of a convoluted, bruised, and starved jack-o-lantern, crawling around like a spider on metal tails, should’ve been the first clue that the fox wasn't stable.

The kit look awful. His fur was matted and tangled, heavy eye bags made dents underneath foggy blue eyes, blue eyes that didn't seem to have any thought behind them, that told a tale of indescribable horror, pain, and sorrow in them. They weren’t even looking at him, only staring ahead at a nothingness only they could see. He had several burn marks all over his body, neck, arms, legs, everywhere Shadow could see; some fur having been fried or shaved off, revealing pink, scorched, scabbed skin. His... clothes (when did Tails wear clothes?) were crumpled and ripped at some places, revealing uneven scars beneath. But the worst part was the overall state of his body. Vibrant golden fur was now pale and dull, chunks of it ripped, burnt, or shaved off, once a naive and childish face looked deeply worn and older, and his body now had barely any muscle or fat, exaggerated bone outlines and skeletal anatomy was the fox's vessel now.

Shadow didn't know if this was a child he was staring at or a decaying, walking corpse.

It took a couple of moments for Shadow to even realize that this was Tails, the cheerful fox kit that followed Sonic everywhere. Whatever this hollow, battered shell was wasn't cheerful in any way.

Staring back at him, this child, they looked more fragile, more lost, and completely broken.

Once he processed this, he cautiously approached the fox kit. While he never particularly cared for the kid, he knew he couldn't leave them like that, couldn't leave anyone so young like that. Besides, he knew of the fox's smarts as everyone else did, perhaps the fox could help fix everything the blue idiot broke. Approaching them, he called their name...

And immediately knew this wasn't Tails as their head suddenly snapped harshly in his direction (he thought their neck was going to break).

He was grabbed by metal, sudden sharp tips of the skinny metal tails nearly dug into his skin as he was slammed harshly against the wall. He gagged, surprised at the uncharacteristically aggressive act from someone he thought he knew. Looking down, he was met with the second clue when he saw a harsh and...unnatural scowl. It was more feral, more akin to that of an animal. The kit's teeth was bared, eyes wide-eyed and buggy, and his body twitched slightly. The words the child screamed harshly met Shadow's ears.

"it's NINE, NINE not tails NEVER tails you never listen never never never-“

Realization washed over Shadow like cold water. So this wasn't Tails. This was a variant of the fox. A rather erratic variant at that. He made a unintelligible noise, trying to speak but the metal was squeezing too tightly-

The third and final cementing clue about the kit's disturbing mental state was when fox began to ramble and mumble, asking Shadow how 'they' are still making things like him. Rambling about games, about tricks, and other nonsense Shadow couldn't understand. Taking the chance, he used the fox's self-imposed distraction, kicking them away. They grunted, landing on the ground like a puppet - landing hard on their face, limbs sprawling beneath him at an almost unnatural level - before weakly, but somehow quickly, righting themselves, launching himself at the black urchin once more.

Shadow felt a slight sting of pity at the pathetic sight,

Before long, the life form quickly got the upper hand, pinning the malnourished fox and explaining he's real, how he accidentally thought the kit was Tails. The kit paused somewhat, then asked how Shadow knew that name, just now registering it through the hazy fog of insanity. Broken blue eyes then noticed Shadows gloves, and they widened when they saw the odd things Shadow took from Sonic.

"Th...those are...", the fox began to mumble with horror and fear. As his brain slowly registered it, he began to hyperventilate, tears beginning to form, tears of horror, of fear, of cruel, unforgiving grief.

(no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no this cant)  As Shadow paused, taking note of the kids horrible reaction, he quickly moved off of them in an effort to give them space, taking a few steps back for good measure, hoping to calm the kid down so he could explain everything.

(be real this cant be real this cant be this cant it cant it cant please it cant be real why why

why why why why why why why why why why i failed im a failure failure failure w

orthless worthless worthless stupid fucking idiot you knew it was too good to be true

you knew it was too good stupid stupid this has to be a dream please be a dream wake up wake up wake up

wake up wake up wake up please please this cant be happening)

He still kept his guard up, just in case. Yet, the kid, Nine, only laid there on the ground, unmoving, eyes blank and glossed over, the little chest that rose with labored breaths not hardly moved at all. Shadow stared after what felt like hours, as the kid stared blankly at the burning ceiling,

no (this monster did he did he did he no no no it can't be those are they're)

thought

(he took them he saw sonic he hurt sonic I failed i'm a failure they were supposed to but

they failed i failed i've always been a failure how could i think this would change useless fucking worthless) behind them at all.

Shadow was suddenly thrown back harshly, like an unwanted toy, with sudden force from the sharp metal tails, and he was thrown harshly as haunting, horrid shriek echoed throughout the wide halls, mixing with broken wails as the monster seeped in lonely sorrow and rage. 

(he's dead he's dead he killed him he did it I failed no no no sonic was gone the grim was pointless I lost my chance I'm so stupid so worthless so stupid im going to kill him im going to kill him i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you you did this you killed him murderer you did it you did Sonic had so much life he was so alive)

The fight continued after that, the two dancing around flames, and Shadow dodged much harsher and animalistic blows as the nine-tailed fox screamed and asked over and over again what Shadow did to Sonic, where Sonic was. That he would kill Shadow, that Shadow took the only thing he had left, the only reason he endured ‘their sick games’. Shadow tried to explain, but it was clear there wasn’t any rational thought in the screaming, sobbing demon anymore.

Shadow didn't know how it happened, perhaps it was the harsh wounds he got from the kitsune that left him slightly weaker or maybe he was distracted by the pitiful state of the thing, but there was a sudden, harsh blow to his head, and everything went black.