SOLAR. SOLAR I LOVE YOU AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BUT I NEED THE ANGST - Tumblr Posts

Solar angst where he has a panic attack after meeting Nexus again because he reminds him of his Moon?

(Yes yes YESSS)

Solar’s hands shivered. His nonexistent heart began to beat faster and faster, the sound suffocating his audio receptors. The oil within his eyes threatened to spill over. He could hear Nexus saying something in the background, but wasn’t really listening.

This was not how he had wanted things to go.

When Solar confronted his former brother, he thought he’d see some sort of explanation. Some sort of reason.

Not his Moon bubbling back all over again to torture him.

Of course, his Moon was dead. Solar had ensured that himself. However, with how Nexus was acting… it was like his brother was possessed by the ghost of his abuser.

Not a good combination.

“Aww, are you going to cry?” Nexus mocked, flexing his claws and exaggerating his tone.

“Shut up,” Solar hissed, holding back tears.

Nexus came closer.

“I’m not going to change,” he whispered lowly. “I have dark star power. That’s all I need. And soon, I’ll become a god.”

His laughter echoed across the empty halls like a distant wound Solar had long forgotten reopening.

“That may make me the villain of your story,” the lunar animatronic continued, “but I can handle that.”

His voice became colder than ice, frozen over from years of pretending to be someone he was not.

“However… can you?”

“Can’t you do anything right?” Moon had hissed at Solar, slamming his faceplate against the wall repeatedly. “Why are you STILL HERE? Where’s Sun? WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY BROTHER?”

Solar shook his head, pushing the memory back to the deep recesses of his mind. Now was not the time to compare how Nexus had become the person he swore not to be.

“Kneel,” said animatronic commanded, and Solar was suddenly shoved to the ground. He tried to stand, but a force far beyond his own kept him on the ground.

Nexus laughed. “How pathetic.”

“Shut. UP,” Solar hissed, pushing off of the ground and ramming into him. Nexus swiftly dodged, sending Solar barreling into the wall.

“Ugh,” the latter groaned, rubbing his head. Not the smartest decision.

“You’re as foolish as always,” Moon—no, Nexus—teased.

Solar would be lying if he said that he didn’t see the two as one and the same now.

He shook his head. Don’t think about that. DON’T DON’T DON’T—

Solar was slammed to the ground by his former brother yet again, purple magic floating around him.

“Keep your head down,” Nexus growled. “I’m going to make this very clear.”

He grabbed Solar’s faceplate, digging his claws into it and ripping some of the paint off.

“I am not Moon anymore. I am Nexus. Get that straight. Nexus, Nexus, Nexus.” Each time he said his own name, Eclipse—no, Solar (get out of that mindset, Solar)—was punched hard in the face.

Nexus was still going easy on him.

He grinned maniacally, the thing spread far too wide. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.”

He disappeared.

And that’s when the panic attack formed.

Solar’s airways felt tight, as if they had rusted over and filled with dust. Each breath didn’t seem enough, like he needed more more more air and—he wasn’t getting enough of it. He was suffocating, a victim of his own mind. Nervous energy jittered through him, convincing him of hallucinations that weren’t there.

“You’re pathetic.”

“You’re the reason Sun is gone.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

Was it his Moon or Nexus saying those things? Solar suddenly couldn’t remember.

He collapsed against the wall, gripping his head tightly as his heart raced and his mind reeled.

Sleep was… a far away dream for Solar that night.