Spencer Reid Comfort - Tumblr Posts

Nightmares

{You have a nightmare on the jet and Spencer comforts you}

Hope you enjoy lovelies!! 💕

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Nightmares were something that practically comes hand in hand with your job, I mean it was only natural that you would get them. Hotch said himself that he would be more worried if you didn’t get them and you suppose he’s right.

They were never easy to get through, the overwhelming weight that sits against your chest or how your heart seems to completely freeze with fear in your rib cage. You can’t really do anything to stop your own mind from betraying you.

If you had known that one of these particular nightmares would invade your exhausted mind you might’ve thought twice before sleeping on the jet's sofa.

You were curled up, knees tucked towards your chest with Spencer's cardigan draped over you as you slept. Spencer didn’t sleep instead he chose to fiddle with the pack of cards, flicking through them, silently thinking. He would occasionally glance over to you making sure you were okay.

He was observant, he noticed the way your eyebrows pulled together with an almost painful expression, how your lip quivered ever so slightly and his chest tightened at the pitiful whimpers that were muffled behind your clenched teeth.

He’s quick to kneel beside the sofa, rushing to your side. His fingers brush against your warm cheek as he tries to coax you from your nightmare. And he’s glad for your sake that everyone has fallen asleep, not that you should be ashamed, he’s told you millions of times there’s nothing to be ashamed about, but yet the mind is a very complex thing.

He watches in panic as your breathing becomes more and more erratic, and he feels hopeless. There’s nothing he can do but entwine his hand with yours hoping that it would bring you some kind of comfort.

“You’re okay, I’m right here” he whispers, keeping his voice down as he glances over his shoulder.

Emily was resting her head against JJ’s shoulder, both sleeping despite the uncomfortable position. Hotch, Derek even Gideon had all fallen asleep. He couldn’t blame them, tonight had dragged on for what felt like years.

It always seemed to be the same thing, your nightmares. Running towards something and never getting there fast enough and recently it had been Spencer that plages your mind. His voice calls for you weakly somewhere within the abyss and to try so hard to get to him, but your attempts are fruitless, and all you were met with are horrid images of him.

You gasp, scrambling to sit up with your shaky hand against your chest, your eyes brimming with tears as you look down at Spencer, sighing in relief, he's okay. He sits next to you a cautious smile etched onto his lips.

“I’ve got you- you’re okay,” he says as he holds you close, his arms wrapped securely around your body as you take deep breaths, your head resting against his shoulder.

He can feel your heartbeat and the way your shoulders shake as you try to stifle the cries that fall from your lips, his hand soothes the expanse of your back as he rests his chin on the top of your head.

“Spence, I- I can’t- I couldn’t” Your voice is hoarse and strained, and the sound sends pain ricocheting throughout his chest and it only makes him hold you tighter.

He presses a delicate kiss to your temple before he pulls away slightly, his hands gently grasping at your forearms as he studies your teary face.

“I’m okay, see? I’m right here” he promises taking your shaky hands, bringing them to cup either side of his face, "We're almost home". He knows your fears and how they seep into your subconscious mind, most importantly how they all seem to revolve around him.

It hurts him to know that he’s the cause of your worries and it hurts him even more knowing that he can’t really do anything, but what he can do is comfort you when they get bad, to bring you back to shore and hold you close to him, and he does without complaint. He loves taking care of you.

You nod your head as your thumb grazes along his cheek. Your eyes scan over his face, “I’m sorry” you whisper, resting your hands on his lap as he holds them, his thumb smoothing over the curves of your knuckles.

He looks at you with slight confusion, “No, you don't have to apologise- it’s what I’m here for” The compassion that bleeds into his tone and the way his gentle eyes never leave yours makes your chest tighten.

Spencer Reid was the kindest person you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, he had so much love to give. You were so happy that he shared his love with you.

He smiles as he wipes away the stray tears, “I love you Spencer” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his.

“I love you too” he presses a loving kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling away. He taps his lap motioning for you to rest your head and you do so, enjoying the way he gently plays with your hair.

He looks down at you with love-filled eyes, “I’m right here- with you, I promise, I’m not going anywhere” he tells you, watching how you fight the sleep that hangs over you like a storm cloud.

You decide to trust his words, letting yourself relax into his touch as he drapes his cardigan back over your shoulders, and you both soon find yourselves in a dreamless sleep.

The jet will land soon, and you’ll both be woken by the teasing words of your friends. If you both knew that then maybe the pair of you would’ve thought twice before falling asleep on the jet's sofa together.

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ugh the lego spencer fic got me giggling like a little middle schooler with a crush. i need more please 😭😭😭

Total geek

{After Spencer has a tough week you surprise him with the Millennium falcon lego set and he geeks out}

Ack! He’s just the cutest <3 Hope you enjoy lovely!! 💕

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Spencer’s job was nothing short of stressful, every aspect of it was just so taxing. Sure sometimes it could be very rewarding, helping people, bringing justice and whatnot. But for the past week something seemed to sit heavy on his chest, a feeling he couldn’t quite shake.

You could tell that it was bothering him more than usual from the obvious crease that haunts the space between his brows, or how he would stay up late into the night studying cases. He became distant, and it hurt to see how much it was troubling him.

Spencer returned home early tonight, on the order of Hotch. He’d made a silly mistake today, which caused him to mess up on the geographical profile of the unsub. It was eating him alive because Spencer Reid doesn’t make mistakes. He couldn’t get his head around it, why and how had he messed up so bad?

He huffs dropping his brown shoulder bag on the floor after slamming the door shut. A flurry of emotions bubbled around in his chest and he wasn’t quite sure if it was the embarrassment or the frustration that was making him want to cry, perhaps it was both.

He walks further into the apartment, his fingers raking through his wind-tussled hair. “Hey sweetie, you’re home early,” you say, walking over to where he was sitting at the breakfast bar.

He clears his throat, trying to ignore the stinging sensation that’s prominent in the back of his throat. “Yeah, Hotch sent me home,” he tells you, wincing slightly at the memory, and you don’t miss the way his voice quivers with emotion.

You inch closer to him until you're standing in between his thighs and he smiles at the closeness. Leaning into your touch as you tuck his hair behind his ears. His heart swells with love, he hasn’t been this close to you in a while.

“I’m sure it came from a place of caring,” you tell him, sighing as his eyes fill with tears. He rests his head against your chest with a shaky sigh. Your hands soothe against his back.

You were right, even if it didn’t feel like it, you were right. Hotch cared, of course, he did, but that didn’t stop the embarrassment that still pinches at his heart. The team more often than not relied on Spencer and his ‘wonderfully scary brain’ as they put it, so for him to mess up was a big deal, he felt like he’d failed them.

He sniffles slightly, “I made a mistake on the geographical profile, no one got hurt, but I just-” he winces at how small his voice was, “It was embarrassing” he admits, nuzzling his nose further into your shoulder as if he was trying to hide away from the whole situation.

He shouldn’t be so hard on himself, he’s had a horrible week so, in reality, it was only a matter of time before he made a mistake, he was only human after all.

“Hey, look at me” you whisper, your hands cupping either side of his face as looks up at you with a strained smile, “You’ve had an awful week, it’s okay Spence” you reassure him and you can tell by the way he lets out a little ‘mhm’ that he doesn’t believe you.

“You’re only human sweetheart, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” you tell him, and he sighs once again resting his head back against your shoulder.

You smile, excitement tingling through your chest as you think back to yesterday when you brought him another Lego set to add to his growing collection, the Millennium Falcon. You wanted to brighten up his week, so what better way than to buy him a gift?

“Okay, no more work talk” you declare, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he looks up at you with a thankful smile, “I’ve got you something, stay here” his expression changes to a more curious look as his eyebrows slightly knit together.

He doesn’t have time to question you before you’re making your way to the bedroom, reappearing with a huge box in your arms, poorly wrapped in old Christmas wrapping paper. His mouth opens slightly, what on earth have you brought?

He walks into the living room, sitting down next to you on the sofa, the mystery gift separating the two of you. “Okay open it!” You smile, and he’s at a complete loss for words as he starts ripping the paper.

You can’t help but giggle at the way his eyes light up, and the sight warms your heart. He lets out a little gasp, “Baby, you- you didn’t have to” he says, his heart hammering against his ribcage as he scrunches up the remaining wrapping paper into a ball, eyes fixed on the Lego set.

“I wanted to” you whisper, watching the way his eyes brim with tears.

“This- this thing is huge, where are we even going to put it?” He asks, looking around the apartment as he tries to figure something out. You grab his hand bringing his attention back to you.

“We’ll figure something out” you promise as he nods whispering a small ‘Yeah’

He places the box carefully on the floor before wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer to him in a sweet hug. He presses a kiss to your cheek, “Thank you so much” he smiles, his chest bursting with happiness.

“Of course, anything to see you smile” you wink, with a teasing smile as he shakes his head with a laugh.

He sits down on the floor, patting the space beside him for you to sit next to him, and you gladly do so, as he opens the box with an excited smile.

“You know the Millennium Falcon was actually built in several different sizes,” he says, looking over at you with a smile, he watches as your eyebrows lift slightly with surprise as you turn to him.

“Really?” You ask, watching as he nods enthusiastically, pulling out the instruction manual.

“Yeah, the complete models of the Falcon ranged from very small, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand-” he pauses, a warmth blooming in his chest when he realises you’re still listening, waiting for him to carry on, “To- to over four feet and an almost full-size replica of the exterior of the ship, that was made for the empire strikes back, is measured almost sixty feet long,” he says, sorting all the Lego blocks into their correct spaces.

He continues to ramble off facts about the spaceship as you listen intently before a comfortable silence falls on the pair of you, soft music from the radio playing in the background as you both continue to build the Lego set. The minutes soon turn into hours.

“This is going to take weeks” he mumbles, his elbow resting against his knee as his chin sits in the palm of his hand.

You look over at the clock, dinner time. “Yep,” you say popping the ‘p’. He watches as you stretch your arms upwards, letting out a little groan. “I’m gonna order dinner, do you want Thai?” You ask as he nods, continuing to snap the Lego pieces together.

“Yes please, I’ll get the usual” he says as you nod. You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth before handing him his glasses that were sitting on the coffee table, noticing the way he was starting to rub at his eyes, he whispers a small ‘thanks’ as you stand up to grab your phone.

“Don’t lose any pieces this time!” You shout, giggling at the way he replies with a sarcastic laugh and a ‘Yeah yeah’

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‘I love you’

{Spencer can’t sleep without saying I love you, no matter how mad you are with each other}

Hope you enjoy as always my lovelies! 💕

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You both shouldn’t have gotten so mad over such a trivial thing, though you suppose it’s been building up for a while now, the lack of communication, the missed dates and whatnot. In all honesty, you couldn’t even remember why you were initially mad at him and now that you’re laying in bed with a tear-stained pillow beneath you, it seems all so pointless.

Arguments are bound to happen in relationships. Two people aren’t always going to see eye to eye, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. A part of you is expecting him to apologise and the other half of you is trying to come up with an apology yourself, but nothing happens. Spencer stays in the living room to give you some space and you’re left to simmer with your thoughts.

He was late again tonight, it seemed like your schedules did nothing but clash for weeks and the distance was slowly eating at you until you finally snapped. You’d also blame your own work stress for the anger that pinches at your skin, the same anger that only fuelled tonight’s argument.

Spencer hates it, hates the silence that comes afterwards, albeit arguments between you two were few and far between it still had the same effect on him, the odd sinking feeling that hits his stomach.

You both should just apologise and talk about it like adults, but yet you’re both stubborn in your own rights, and so neither of you do. Instead, you fall asleep alone with a heavy heart, and Spencer creeps into the room hours after with an ache in his chest.

He notices the dampness on your pillow from your tears and it only makes that dull ache in his chest hurt all the more, he gently pushes your hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear as he sighs at the tear stains that paint your face, even in sleep you look sad.

You wake up as he climbs into bed, and you make no effort to let him know, in fact, you’re pretty sure he knows you’re awake when he starts drawing patterns on your back with his finger.

You frown softly as you try to figure out what he’s doing. You're about to turn around and complain, and then you feel it. He gently traces the words ‘I love you’ into your skin, fingers grazing along your spine. You feel him shuffle closer to you, and his lips press gently onto your shoulder, then the soft words, “I’m sorry” leave his lips, and you can feel the guilt drown you.

You turn around, noticing how the tears in his eyes glisten under the warm light of the lamp and you don’t think twice before reaching out and wiping them away, he sighs at your touch.

“You don’t have to apologise, I blew things way out of proportion” you admit. Spencer shakes his head, noticing how you don’t make eye contact with him, and so he holds your hand, his thumb smoothing over your knuckles.

“You had every right to be mad, and we both blew things way out of proportion” he reasons, not liking the sigh that leaves your lips as if you didn’t believe his words. His eyebrows furrow slightly watching the tears collect in your eyes.

The root of your sudden argument was really because were both so tired and missed each other’s touch, which in retrospect should’ve had the opposite effect of what happened tonight, but emotions are a tricky thing,

So that’s why you don’t pull away when Spencer opens his arms out to you, pulling the blanket over the pair of you as you settle against him. “I’m sorry,” you say, his chin resting gently on top of your head as his hand soothes your back.

He presses a kiss to your hairline as you mumble, “And, I love you too” He smiles when your hands dip underneath his shirt, a desperate need of his warmth, you just needed to feel him.

“I love you more” he smiles, his arms squeezing you just a little tighter against him, tight enough to make you giggle, a sound Spencer swears could cure all of his ills.

There's a silence that drapes over the pair of you, and it's not like before it's different Spencer thinks, much more comfortable as he listens to your breathing.

You look up at him, and he catches onto the exhaustion that stains your face, before you can say anything he's already speaking, "You're tired. Get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow, over breakfast, yeah?" he smiles leaning down to press one last gentle kiss to your forehead, and you would be lying if you said the idea of breakfast with Spencer didn't make you feel a little giddy.

So you whisper a quiet 'Okay' before drifting off in his arms. and you both make a silent promise to talk about it tomorrow, like adults.

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The hardest days

{Spencer makes even the hardest days seem a little bit more tolerable}

Hope you enjoy lovelies!! 💕

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You seem miles away staring off into space as you bite at the sides of your nails, an awful habit Spencer has been trying to get you to break. He watches you with worry in his eyes as your eyebrows furrow together, completely wrapped up in whatever troubles you in that mind of yours.

If you really think about it, it’s been building up for weeks, the stress. It eats at you until you’re completely exhausted, left with an ache that dulls you. You never see it coming until it hits you with full force, like today for example.

Everything just seemed ten times more complicated than it should have and in all honesty, you should’ve listened to Spencer when he told you to use one of your well-deserved vacation days, to take some time off.

He walks over to where you’re sitting on the sofa taking a seat next to you, and you don’t even look over at him, still much too distracted by whatever it was plaguing your mind. His chest tightens at the stress that seems to hang over you.

You feel the warmth from his hand as his fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling your hand away from your mouth. He brings your entwined hands to rest on his lap, his thumb smoothing over the bumps of your knuckles.

He smiles at you softly, noticing how the warm light of his floor lamp rests against your skin painting you in the most flattering light. You return the gesture although your smile is much more strained and he catches on to the tears that glisten as they build up in your tired eyes.

“What’s on your mind sweetheart?” He asks, tone so soft and caring that it has your heart clenching in your chest and it only makes you want to cry even more.

Your eyes flicker over to him and you catch onto the worry that seeps into his expression, “Are you mad at me?” You ask quietly and Spencer shuffles closer to you on the sofa.

His worry doubles, “Mad? Why would I be mad at you honey?” He wonders, wiping your tears away with the sleeve of his sweater, the material soft against your cheek.

“I ruined our date” Your eyes refuse to meet his and he watches as you play with the drawstring of your joggers, trying your best to bite back your tears.

He frowns at the sight. It’s not like you purposely woke up today and chose to feel this way, no this was something completely out of your control and you just couldn’t handle the thought of going out for dinner in a restaurant full of people, and you told him just that.

“Oh- no, I’m not mad at you,” he says, but it doesn’t help the guilt that pinches at your heart, because your mind is stubborn, no matter how sweet Spencer is, you still can’t help but think how you’ve ruined everything.

You shake your head with a sudden urgency, “I couldn’t do it Spencer- this week was just awful. I’m sorry I let you down” You don’t bother holding back the tears, the blocky feeling in the back of your throat all too prominent to try and hide.

Spencer fights the internal panic because you’re crying, no not just crying, sobbing and the sight has his chest constricting with pain. He says your name softly, “Hey, you didn’t let me down, you couldn’t, ever.” He tells you, and the love that bleeds into his tone fights off any doubt that plagues your mind.

He whispers a small ‘C’mere honey’ opening his arms out for you and it’s an offer you just couldn’t refuse. His arms encircle your shoulders as he holds you against him, his chin resting on top of your head as you cry into his sweater. His fingers tracing tiny patterns against your back in hopes that it might bring you comfort.

“We don’t have to go out to have date night, I don’t mind just staying here with you” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “As long as we’re together I really don’t mind” you pull back slightly wiping away your tears, and he leans to press another kiss to your forehead.

“But you seemed so excited” you whisper, the same guilt pinching at you once again and the feeling only makes you look away.

His slightly gun-calloused hand cups your face, “Of course I’m excited, I get to have dinner with you” he smiles, his thumb brushing along your jaw as you let out a teary giggle.

He holds you close to him, leaning back against the sofa. He presses one or two kisses to your face as you nuzzle against his shoulder, feeling a lot more at ease than you were a few minutes ago. In all honesty, you wouldn’t know what to do without him.

His hands soothe the expanse of your back as he guides you through calming you down into more steady breaths. He lays there with you in his arms for a good minute or two, peppering small kisses to your cheek and forehead every now and again. A comforting silence blankets you both, that is until his stomach grumbles in a protest of hunger which in turn makes you both look at each other with a giggle.

“We could cook together? I’m sure I have something” he says pushing your hair that frames your face and tucking it behind your ear, his fingertips grazing gently over your cheek as he does.

“Yeah, it could be fun” you smile sitting up slightly.

“Of course, it’d be fun, I’m there” You look over at him as he smirks at you, and the joy that brightens up your face makes his heart flutter a sight he’s glad to see again.

You both end up cooking up some pasta meal practically shoulder to shoulder and Spencer’s hands never once leave you, whether they’re resting on your hips or on the small of your back, he finds a way. And despite his distracting kisses and wandering hands the meal turns out to be quite delicious, and you realise Spencer was right, you two don’t have to go out to have date night, just as long as you were together.

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hiii, so i have a request, i keep thinking about how hard it was for spencer reid in high school and growing up cause he didn’t have any friends and the only person he could rely on was his mom who wasn’t very stable😭so i wanted a fic where the reader and spencer a best friends but he’s in love with her and it’s in the first seasons, and the reader just kind of brings up how brave he is and comforts him and he’s just overwhelmed because no one actually paid attention to that and confesses to her and they kiss and stuff<33 btw i love your work and how you write🫶🏻

-Spencer Reid x Reader

{Friends to lovers with Spencer}

Sorry, this took forever my love! College has been keeping me very busy. This request made me so soft pls I love him sm!! I hope you enjoy lovelies! 💕

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It is late into the night when Spencer calls you, the thought of staying home alone is far too daunting for him to handle tonight and without a single complaint, you pack a small bag together and drive to his apartment.

Spencer still, after all these years of friendship can’t believe you always come all the way over to his place just for him, without expecting anything in return. You can tell by the look that paints his face when he opens the door, just how he’s taken back he is as you offer him a warm smile.

“I’m sorry I- I just. I couldn’t do it” he tries to explain, as if he needs to justify his reason for calling you. He struggles to find the right words to perfectly describe how he’s feeling right now, the odd ache that captures his chest entirely, a feeling that seeps into his bones and leaves him unsettled.

He closes the door behind you, locking it, as you drop your bag on the wooden floor next to his shoes, “It’s okay Spence, honestly. I don’t mind you know that” You smile at him, a sweet sight that melts his heart.

You’ve always been so kind to him something that Spencer didn’t think was reserved for him, for whatever reason. He was used to it and as horrible as that sounds it’s the truth. He’s used to people's unkind opinions about him, how they always seem to nitpick at his insecurities. That was his life growing up, especially in school.

Then he met you, incredible, beautiful you who left him star-struck. Spencer wasn’t used to having someone like you in his life, someone who always seemed to put him first and cared about him with this unconditional affection, and it often led him to feel as if it were some kind of joke that he wasn’t in on.

However, he quickly learned that that was far from the truth. It was the first night he opened up about his mother and in return you gave him your shoulder to cry on without any kind of judgement, Spencer practically felt all his walls crumble and in their wake came a warmth he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was safety, you made him feel safe.

You look over at him noticing the way his eyes glisten with tears and you can’t help the blocky feeling that wedges itself in the back of your throat, you open your arms out to him, an offer he wouldn’t ever turn down.

Spencer wraps his arms around you tightly as if you might disappear into thin air. He lets his head fall upon your shoulder, a deep sigh escaping him as your hands soothe against his back. You’ve always had a way of making him feel completely at peace, despite the seemingly permanent stress cloud that hangs above him recently.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You whisper as he sniffles against you, his shoulders shake beneath your hold ever so slightly and it causes a sudden pain to seize your heart, the type that has your chest tightening.

He takes a moment to ponder your question, “Maybe later? I just- it’s been a long week” he mumbles against your shoulder and in return you whisper a small ‘okay’ and Spencer sighs with relief, forever thankful for your patience.

The pair of you soon find yourselves sitting on his loveseat, empty take-out boxes sitting on the coffee table as Spencer is completely engrossed with the way you colour in your colouring book, in all honesty, Spencer could study you for hours and never find himself bored.

“It looks really good” he comments with a hushed tone as he closes the book he was reading, although he hadn’t even finished the first sentence let alone the chapter, far too enchanted by how you add vitality to the once colourless page, bringing the drawing of the Dolphins to life.

You look up at him with a bright smile through very tired eyes, “Thank you, Spence. Dolphins really are beautiful creatures” you state and he hums in agreement as you continue to shade them with a darker blue, a small yawn escaping you.

A certain peace blankets over the pair of you and it’s as if nothing outside of his apartment matters. The clarity allows Spencer's mind to drift, thinking about what it would be like to be with you, to come home to you, sleep next to you. He wonders if you’ll stay even though the nights where he all does is toss and turn if you’ll keep the nightmares at bay. He loses himself in what life would be like with you, a recurring thought.

“Penny for your thoughts sir?” You giggle, noticing the way he seems so deep in thought.

He clears his throat, racking his brain for a fact about dolphins but it’s hard when he’s so focused on you, “Oh umm-” he frowns before finally, the words began to fall effortlessly from his lips.

“Did you know, Dolphins have more brain capacity than humans, Their brains weigh 1600 grams to our 1300 grams. Dolphin brains also have a complex neocortex, which is the part of the brain that allows you to be self-aware and solve problems.” He lists off as if it were as easy as breathing and to Spencer it is.

He watches with pride blooming through his chest as your eyebrows lift with shock, “I actually didn’t know that, I suppose they don’t have anything on your IQ of 187 though” You smile, putting away your colouring book as you rub at your sleepy eyes.

“That and I guess it has something to do with me being human” he chuckles, helping you put away all of your many felt tips.

Spencer looks over at the clock, guilt immediately seeping into his heart. It’s gone past twelve am and he knows you have work tomorrow, it was selfish of him to ruin your sleep schedule just because he had a bad day, and just like that, he finds himself deep within his own self-sabotage.

It’s almost annoying how quickly you pick up on it, “You are just human Spencer, I think you forget that sometimes” You smile kindly at him, reaching for his hand and his breath hitches slightly at the sudden warmth.

“I’m sorry for keeping you so long” he whispers, fiddling with the loose thread of his sweater, “You’ve got work tomorrow and I kept you here I just-” You don’t give him time to continue, knowing it’ll just end up with him talking poorly about himself.

“-Spencer, I can just call in sick but that’s not the point, I’m here because you needed me and I’ll be here for however long you want,” you tell him, squeezing his hand slightly as you brush your thumb over his knuckles.

He doesn’t know what to say or do, his mind rushes with so many words he wants to say, yet all of them seem to be stuck in a ball in the back of his throat.

“What- what if I- what if I need you forever?” He whispers, eyes not daring to glance at yours the fear of rejection still captures him even if he knows that you would go to the ends of the world for him.

“Then I’ll be here forever silly,” you tell him, inching closer to him.

Spencer thinks his heart might just burst out of his chest, years of emotions building up inside him and despite everything he’s seen and been through this might just be the scariest feeling he’s ever felt.

“What is it?” You whisper, and he looks at you with so much emotion in his eyes it’s hard for you to read.

“I’m scared” his voice quivers as he bites back the tears that cling to his eyes, rubbing them away before they have time to fall, “What if I can’t do this?”

It's the truth he's terrified of loving you for so many reasons, he could sit there for hours listing them off, but they all seem to boil down to the thought of losing you, his solace in the crazy world.

Your eyebrows thread together as you move closer to him, you don’t really know what he means.

“Spencer Reid, you are the bravest person I know. I mean you’ve been through so much Spence and despite that, you’re still so selfless” you tell him, wiping away his tears with your sleeve.

Spencer knows he loves you, he’s known for a very long time, and now sitting here with you as you pour your heart out his feelings only triple. You're so close he can sense your body heat radiating off of you, and with the sudden closeness comes that all too familiar sickly feeling that spreads through his chest.

“Whatever it is you’re scared to do, I’ll be here through it all”

You smile when he finally looks up at you, forehead resting against your own as both your hearts pick up in pace. The butterflies in his stomach are all too prominent because, goodness you're so close to him, and he can feel your gentle breath fanning along his cheek.

His nose brushes against yours as you press your lips to his own, his tears wetting your own face, completely overcome with emotions as he leans into you chasing after your warmth as he kisses you back, something that surprisingly comes so easy to him.

“I love you in ways that terrify me” he whispers against you as you brush his hair away from his eyes, “I’ve loved you for a very long time” he confesses with a shaky sigh.

“Spencer-” you can’t help but let out a breathy giggle, “I love you too” and it doesn’t take long for you to kiss him again, excitement snuffing out the doubt in his mind. You both smile against each other's lips, the kiss breaking as you do so.

His heart has never felt so full before, content as you rest against him. Just as it should be.

“Can I ask you something?” You wonder, sitting up slightly as he nods with a small ‘Anything’

“How long?” You chuckle when he blushes, his cheeks adorned with a deep red colour.

“Longer than I care to admit” he whispers clearing his throat.

“So- how long is that?” Ah yes, you and your persistence.

“Since we were seventeen” he whispers so quietly that you can barely even hear him, and if you weren’t sitting so close you don’t think you would have heard him.

“Seventeen?” You ask as he nods, solidifying his answer and, if he’s completely honest, he doesn’t want to know your answer but yet that doesn’t stop him from asking, ‘What about you?’

You feel your face heat up dropping your head to his shoulder as you mumble a quiet, ‘Fourteen’ Your answer confuses him as he tilts his head slightly to try and look at you.

“Fourteen? We didn’t even know ea-” he doesn’t get to finish his sentence as you run off into the bathroom excusing yourself as he holds back a chuckle.

He decides to let it go for now, you can’t exactly hide in the bathroom forever and he knows he’s got a long time to talk to you about it so for now he’ll bask in this prideful feeling, knowing he’s been the one to hold your heart for years and many more to come.

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-Spencer Reid x reader

{Spencer is there for you even on your worst days}

Hope you enjoy lovelies! 💕

cw// Alludes to the reader having depression// mentions of food// Spencer washes the reader's hair.

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You don't think you've moved much from your spot on the bed since the sun rose, tucked away within the comfort of the soft blankets as time passed, not that you were paying much mind to it. You didn’t really have the energy to care and before you knew it Spencer was coming back home.

You hear him as he closes the door before walking through the apartment, softly calling out your name and it’s only then you’re hit with the guilt of not doing anything productive today.

Spencer opens the bedroom door with a gentle smile and it doesn’t falter, not once, despite the fact you probably look very pitiful, curled up into a ball trying to nurse the dull ache that seizes your body.

He sits down next to you, “How was work?” You whisper tone heavy with tiredness and you didn’t realise just how dry your throat was until now. He tucks your hair behind your ear, his fingertips are so gentle as they graze against your skin.

“It was okay, mostly just paperwork so nothing too bad,” he says keeping the same hushed tone as you before leaning down slightly to press a kiss against your forehead, a feeling that sends a shiver through your body, almost bringing you back to life.

You nod your head with a small, “Good, that’s good” enjoying the way his hand soothes against your back, the warmth of his presence seems to lift your spirits and that ache in your heart doesn’t seem so heavy.

Spencer hates seeing you like this, so defeated. He tries to think of things, anything that might make you feel just a little better than right now and he silently curses himself for not having the power to take all the pain away, the pain that is obvious in your eyes.

He knows it’s not his fault, that realistically he can’t do anything to erase these feelings you have, but reality isn’t always the easiest to accept. What he can do however is be there for you, to make you as comfortable as possible.

You look up at him with a strained smile as he brings the back of his hand to caress your warm cheek, “Do you want me to run you a bath?” He asks in such a gentle tone it almost makes you flinch.

Spencer watches as you contemplate his question, “Do you still have that candle Penelope brought?” You wonder, leaning into his hand enjoying the way it feels against your cheek, ever so slightly gun calloused.

“Yeah of course, as well as the soaps” he smiles, shuffling to make space for you as you sit up.

“A bath would be nice” you whisper as he nods, standing from his place on the bed.

There’s a feeling that captures you and suddenly you’re missing the warmth of his hand against your face. “I’ll go run it. You go get something to drink, yeah?” He holds his hand out for you as he helps pull you up from the bed and onto your feet.

“Okay” you sigh and he presses another soft kiss to your forehead before he walks into the bathroom, and you find yourself thinking just how fortunate you are.

The bathroom is pleasantly warm, not too stuffy or steamy. It’s nice and cosy with the sweet-scented candle that brings a comforting atmosphere and somehow it all makes it a lot easier to actually enjoy the bath.

The water envelopes your body, the bubbles surrounding you as you bring your knees to your chest. “Is it okay Angel?” Spencer asks as he pops his head around the door.

You look over at him with a great full smile, “It’s perfect- thank you” you whisper, trying to ignore the guilt that suddenly barges through your chest settling within your heart. He’s always been so caring and loving despite how tiring his job is. He makes time for you. And sometimes when you’re deep within your own self-sabotage, you can’t help but wonder if you really deserve him.

“Of course” he says and the love that bleeds into his tone seems to nurture the doubt you have.

Spencer is so gentle, so gentle that it almost makes you cry. His delicate fingers brush your wet hair away from your eyes, tucking the strands behind your ear as he leans against the dark marble of the bathtub.

He’d offered to wash your hair, a request you turned down at first. Not wanting to burden him any further. But he insisted and you couldn’t find the energy to fight him on it and in all honesty you’re glad you didn’t because you swear you haven’t felt so at peace than what you do right now.

He peppers your shoulders with gentle kisses trailing along your dewy skin up to your cheek enjoying the breathless giggles that leave your lips, a sound he could never get bored of. “I was thinking, maybe we could cook dinner together?” He says, knowing you enjoyed the last time you cooked together.

You nod your head, “I’d like that actually” You say and your heart warms at the excitement that flashes through his eyes. He presses one last kiss to your forehead before leaving you to prepare the ingredients.

You finish drying your hair before slipping on one of Spencer's cardigans. You walk out into the kitchen watching as he carefully reads the instructions following them with such precision that it makes him look like a professional chef, the thought makes you chuckle.

He turns around, opening his arms out for you. “How are you feeling?” He asks, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as he brings you into his chest making you feel all giddy.

“A lot better. I think you might be magic” he lets out a soft chuckle as his hands soothe against your back. The guilt is still harsh in your heart, a heavy feeling that doesn’t seem to budge, “I’m sorry. You come home from work and you haven’t even had time to sit down” you mumble into his shirt.

There's something in your tone that strikes him, a pang of hurt through his chest, it makes him pull back slightly as he holds your face in his hands. "That doesn't bother me, angel. You had a bad day of course I'll be there for you" he says as his thumb gently caresses your cheek.

"Nothing bad actually happened" you sigh trying to ignore the blocky feeling that wedges in the back of your throat.

"And sometimes those can be worst days," he says, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose and the ticklish feeling makes you laugh. "You're always there for me, I want to be here for you too" The sincerity in his tone almost breaks you completely, and the way he looks at you with nothing but pure love with those wonderful hazel eyes of his.

You can't seem to find the words to say, so instead, you whisper a soft, "I love you." The heaviness in your chest that's been plaguing you all day, seems to lighten and in its place takes a much more welcomed feeling, it's warm and homely.

"I love you too" he smiles as you lean to press a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, "Do you want to help me chop the vegetables?" he asks as you nod, walking over to the cutting board as you make a start on the carrots. He guides you through the rest of the steps, and you make a joke about how serious he gets when it comes to cooking, and you once again find yourself wondering just how lucky you really are.

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Tags- @violetrainbow412-blog