Spencer White - Tumblr Posts

Heartbreak High as things i found on my phone

Bonus:

complicated

{anthony vaughn X spencer white}

a/n: i’m sorry if this is poorly written. it’s based off the song conplicated by avril lavigne

@aussiellama 🫶🏼

being friends with spencer white was complicated in many ways. anthony knew it all too well. they`ve been best of friends since middle school, they knew any fact and darkest secrets about each other, but anthony was still thinking that spencer was hiding something. he wanted to talk to spencer about it but he never got the chance.

the day anthony met "new spencer", he didnt give it any thought. it was first day of year 11, maybe he was just stressed. ant remembers how changed spencer looked. "dude, what are you wearing?" anthony laughed at spencer as he showed up at vaughn house announced yet again. spencer furrowed his eyebrows and look at his outfit "what do you mean?" "you look all..." anthony raised an eyebrow "...preppy" spencer just scoffed and shook his head. "come on man, we`re gonna be late" spencer walked out of the house, anthony following close behind. they went to school by spencer’s car.

anthony loved mornings, especially because he got to spend time with spencer alone, in his car, talking to each other one-on-one. but he hated the day after that, when spencer was trying to be cool with other people when he looked like a fool to anthony. anthony was frustrated, angry even. he stopped talking to spencer, he started ignoring him. which led to this day.

spencer avoided being alone with anthony after the incest map got leaked. sure he talked with him while being with dusty or anymore else but when everyone left and they were alone, spencer would make up some lame excuse and would run off. he focused more and more about basketball and making new "friends" while anthony watched him in frustration.

“i just don’t get it man, why are you ignoring me all if a sudden?” spencer asked anthony as he entered his room. “did i do something?”

“i’m not ignoring you” anthony said quietly as he sat back on his bed

“you’re not talking to me, or even looking my way. why?”

“because you’re acting like you’re somebody else okay? what’s wrong spencer? you’re always watching your back like you can’t relax man” anthony sighed deeply

“what do you mean?” spencer knew what ant meant. he was just keeping his cool, trying not to drop his facade

“you’ve changed spencer, you’re making everything seem so complicated, so tell me, what’s wrong with you?”

spencer was taken aback by ant’s words. he sat down quietly next to him and fidgeted with his pants.

“i’m tryna… i don’t know” Spencer looked at the floor. ant sat up, turning towards spencer.

“you’re still lying”

“i just can’t say it okay?”

“why not? just say it, i’ll understand no matter what i promise” anthony didn’t think spencer would actually say anything to him. he just wished he could understand spencer.

after few seconds anthony completely gave up on trying to get the answer from spencer. he was about to ask him to leave when spencer kissed him. he grabbed ant’s face and kissed him. ant could hear spencer’s heartbeat, or was it his? he didn’t know what to do. he was feeling awful. he remembered his mom, and- my god. what was he doing! he was kissing a boy! that was a sin!

he pulled away quickly and looked at spencer with wide eyes. spencer gave him an understanding smile and got up. he walked towards the door and opened it. he muttered quiet i’m sorry and locked the door behind him.

after that day, they acted the same. they acted like the same best friends they were until that day. they didn’t talk about it. but both of them knew that they loved each other but couldn’t be together. it was the brutal truth.

Confession |

summary: Anthony, deeply Christian and conflicted about his feelings for his best friend Spencer, seeks solace in prayer, struggling with the belief that his feelings are sinful. Spencer, unable to watch Anthony suffer alone, confronts him, urging him to accept his emotions without abandoning his faith. Though they can't be together, they find solace in their friendship, choosing to face the uncertainty together, one step at a time.

Warnings: fluff, tiny angst,

pairing: anthony vaughn X spencer white

fandom: heartbreak high

The chapel was quiet, the only sound the faint hum of fluorescent lights above. Anthony knelt at the altar, his hands clasped tightly in prayer, the weight of guilt pressing heavily on his shoulders. His whispered words were barely audible, a desperate plea for forgiveness for the feelings he could no longer suppress.

Spencer stood at the back of the chapel, watching Anthony with a mixture of sorrow and frustration. He had followed him here, hoping for a chance to talk, to clear the air, but seeing Anthony like this—so tormented—made his heart ache.

Finally, unable to stay silent any longer, Spencer approached, his footsteps echoing in the empty space. Anthony didn’t look up, but Spencer could feel the tension in the air between them.

“Anthony,” Spencer said softly, his voice breaking the silence like a fragile thread, “we need to talk.”

Anthony flinched at the sound of his name, but he didn’t move from his position. “There’s nothing to talk about,” he replied, his voice strained. “I just need to pray, to ask God to help me.”

Spencer’s heart sank. He knew what Anthony was going through—the internal war between his faith and the feelings he had for Spencer, feelings he had tried so hard to deny. But Spencer couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “You don’t have to fight this alone, Anthony. You don’t have to push me away.”

“It’s wrong,” Anthony whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. “What I feel… it’s a sin. I can’t… I can’t be with you, Spencer. God wouldn’t want that.”

Spencer knelt down beside him, close enough to feel the warmth of his friend’s body, but still a world apart. “Anthony, I’m not asking you to choose between me and your faith. But pretending like this doesn’t hurt, like it isn’t tearing us both apart… that’s not fair. You’re allowed to feel, Anthony. You’re allowed to be confused and scared. But don’t push me away because of it.”

Tears welled up in Anthony’s eyes, his resolve crumbling under the weight of his conflicting emotions. “I don’t know how to stop feeling this way,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to reconcile what I feel with what I’ve been taught.”

Spencer gently placed a hand on Anthony’s, the touch sending a shiver through both of them. “Maybe you don’t have to figure it all out right now. Maybe… maybe it’s okay to just feel what you feel, and take it one day at a time.”

Anthony’s tears finally spilled over, and he turned to look at Spencer, his eyes filled with pain and longing. “But what if… what if I can’t ever stop feeling this way? What if I’m always this messed up?”

Spencer’s heart broke at the vulnerability in Anthony’s voice. “Then we’ll figure it out together,” he promised. “I’m not going anywhere, Anthony. No matter what.”

For a moment, they sat there in silence, the weight of the world pressing down on them. But in that silence, there was also a small, fragile sense of hope—hope that maybe, somehow, they could find a way to navigate the impossible situation they found themselves in.

It wasn’t a resolution. It wasn’t a happily ever after. But it was a beginning—a first step on a path that neither of them could see the end of. And for now, that was enough.

***

if the gods loathe me for i love you then i can only pity them they can take you away from me until i cry a new lethe

and they could force me to drink it but i would still know you i know i would know you