Spynorth - Tumblr Posts
I am so late to this because I have been so very slow but I have been meaning to jump into your ask and let you know that I have seen you around on my dash thanks to lottie (and now ace), and I have always enjoyed the way you craft your muses. Your writing is so enthralling and engaging and I'm so glad to see you around on the dash. I hope you've been having a good day!
ahhhhh, you're not late, friend, this message came right on time ! this really made my day, thank you so much for your kind words. i will definitely be saving this to reference back to when i have a bad brain day, so i really appreciate you taking the time to send such a sweet message. 💕 also, the admiration from a ( slight ) distance through our wonderful mutual friends is very much returned, so how about we just cut out the middlemen & be proper friends already, ok ? ok. yay, friends !
@spynorth.
bent over near a tangle of flowers and nearly dead greenery turned brown, allie's fingers thread through the strands, cradling them with her warmth until they turn green again and their whispers of hope once again ignited. she praises them, chattering away about how pretty their petals would be with just a little more care, a little more sun, a little more water, and then they would feel it. the city was full of things like this, poor little plants sprayed with too many chemicals to stay pretty, with not a care for their health and well being. she feels it every time she walks by one, their cries of anguish too sorrowful to ignore. so sorrowful, she doesn't hear lucas' voice until he's right up behind her, his hand on her shoulder drawing her away from her world. allie smiles up at him warmly, " hi lucas! " the memory of what they had been doing to get her to where she is returning slowly, too slow for anything important to come back. " what are we doing, again? "
@spynorth
she didn't think it would be this hard to speak to him when she found him, but everything she goes to say, feels too strange before it slips out of her, the anxiety fluttering in her chest batting any idle thoughts away. " i'm ... i'm sorry. " he's sort of intense, isn't he? and it's never really been something she noticed until now. until she's standing in front of him after being gone for the entirety of a winter. " i didn't mean to go away, i- i promise! i just ... i just sort of, um, do that ... sometimes, i guess. "
“ spynorth. ”
This is ridiculous. He wants to say it louder, wants to breathe life into the words until they're no longer a smoldering ember trapped within the hollow of his chest and instead ride the wind as freely as his companion's laughter .... but instead, he simply bites his tongue, weight shifting as he comes to a stop. The dirt, when he kneels, is cold - it seeps through dark denim and stains Lucas' very knees with a chill painted in wide brush strokes by the frozen fingers of half dead plants, the brown remains of a green life that had stood no chance in this part of London. Beside him, Allie studies the ground ... expression intent in a way that causes the curiosity swelling inside to overpower any sense of urgency that he might have otherwise felt.
Allie. It's a plant. A dead plant.
This too remains unspoken. Instead, Lucas stays in the dirt, kneeling next to a young woman like they're holding some sort of bloody funeral service for an ill begotten garden, and lets his fingers run through damp soil. He has no business here. His is a life of guns and war, a life of turning bloodshed in on itself until the slavering dog that is death turns itself upon its masters. His hands were not made for growing things, saving things... not like this .... and yet he waits, fingers poised and ready to help. When he speaks, there's no hint of the doubt that creeps inside, no hint of that hollow ache of hopelessness that wears into a man's bones once he's seen just how ugly the world can be. Instead, there's patience...hope...carried on a rumble of thunder that almost hesitantly seems to ask if there's anything else to be done. For the plants. For himself and the people like him. For whatever secrets Allie keeps locked inside, those shadows that cross otherwise radiant features at certain times...
"There's bound to be a shop somewhere around here with seeds or something. If you're thinking you want to try again."
she shakes her head with a hum to match at his offer, continuing on prodding- gently, of course -at the dead plants in their planter box, abandoned in the middle of the street. her heart squeezes in her chest, and she pretends she doesn't recognize the sadness she feels beneath her fingers. allie knows lucas is there, she can feel him, but she isn't all there. it's a different world, in the roots and the stems and the trunks of every tree. the fairy girl wishes she knew how to bring him with her, but she's not even sure that he'd want to. she's not sure what he wants at all. like her, he always seems to be somewhere else, but she never knows where.
a tug from deep beneath the dirt brings her back, and her fingers scrape the bottom of the box to rescue the plant. " i can- i can fix it. " she stutters out, not quite ready to look at him, baby blue doe eyes fastened to the piles of dirt and the limp plant, cradling it in her dirty hands. " i'm, like, serious, i- i know how, i'm ... i'm just ... " the city is so loud, she can hear everything, can feel everything. " it's too loud, it's too much, everything. i feel like ... i feel like i'm going, like, crazy, or something. " and then, the pit in her stomach deepens as she lets herself say it out loud. " i'm- i'm not as good at it as- as my mom was, i dunno'. she always ... " i miss her, i miss her, i miss her. " i can feel her everywhere, and i still can't be good, like she wanted me too. i'm always ... " she feels the plant in her hands, drooping, and she doesn't finish whatever thought she had been thinking of. she can't. she has to focus.