Stxrvel Talks - Tumblr Posts
i don't think i will be able to get part 4 of icft out by this thursday. work has been extremely demanding and i haven't had enough time or inspiration to finish it. i'll let you know how everything is going and when i'll finally publish that part. thanks to everyone for your constant support!!
guys I can't make it for tonight, I'm so sorry 😭. this week has been a freaking rollercoaster and I don't even know how I've made it this far. but I promise you guys I'm working on the chap and I'll post it as soon as I can 😭😭 pinky promise!!!
thank u all for the support! the taglist is always open!!
i don't think i will be able to get part 4 of icft out by this thursday. work has been extremely demanding and i haven't had enough time or inspiration to finish it. i'll let you know how everything is going and when i'll finally publish that part. thanks to everyone for your constant support!!
okay just updated the title of the next chapter and I promise you guys I've been working on it!!! I hope to get it out this week b4 thursday and maybe be lucky enough to give you two chaps this week. we'll see how that goes 😭😭
thank u all for your comments, I really appreciate them 🥹🫰🏻
i can fix them (no really, i can't) (m.list)
summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life?
pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader.
content. cursing words, angst, suffering, slow burn, eventual-really eventual fluff, mature themes such as drugs and violence. every chapter will have their own warnings at the very top.
a/n. this is the first bts related fic i've ever posted and i hope for the best!! ofc this is inspired by i can fix him by taylor swift in case you were wondering. and this story wasn't really planned (no news for me), but it's all i've been thinking and writing about all this week, so i decided to post it! the chapters list will be posted as soon as i can! love you all and thank u for the support!
bts masterlist
chapter list.
i. the one where everything changes
ii. the one where you came close!
iii. the one where i said fuck you and you cried
iv. the one where you stood there and watched (50%)
v. soon (20%)
vi. soon (20%)
updates will be weekly or biweekly, depending on the progress of each chapter.
hi!! could i be added to the icft taglist? tysm!
hiii! yes of course, thank u for reading 🥹🫰🏻
Icft is so amazing, can't wait for the nxt chap
thank u so much 🥹🥹
Man oc is better than me, like her reaction to Jungkook coming back looking for her was so valid cause what the hell?!??! Why do they think they can just walk back into her life like nothing happened when they quite literally abandoned her 😵💫🥴
ikkkkkk, i was so mad writing it too 😭😭
i hate to say this but i'm stuck. i was able to plan long term for the story and i have material for a good amount of chapters, but sitting down to write it has been more complicated than it should be and that stresses me out quite a bit. i don't like feeling like this because it always limits my writing, so i'm going to focus on another wip that's on the bts masterlist in the meantime. i don't think it will last long like this. i just wanted to let those who are following the icft series know and apologize from the bottom of my heart because it's been two weeks without updates :((( i'm really sorry guys, i'm going to try really hard to bring you something good and i hope it's soon!
It's okay to stress out but I really wanna hug you now don't stress we trust you'll post amazing chapters good luck 💙
thank u so much 🥹🥹
work's not helping either, these days have been such a journey 😫
im gonna come back to this when im feeling stressed, thank u anon 🤧🫶🏻🫶🏻💜
I hope you don’t stress out about it anymore! I can only imagine the anxiety I would have if I were in your place. You should write when you’re inspired to. I’ve read a few fics where it felt like the author only put out a chapter through peer/reader pressure or mentally imposed pressure so I’m happy you realized that forcing yourself would limit your writing and decided to save yourself some stress and anxiety and focus on something else for now. I think you’re doing the right thing for yourself (which should always be priority) and the story in general (and consequently the readers). In my experience, it can be a bit scary to admit that you're stuck and are going focus on something else so props to you (honestly the anxiety of it would probably cause me to suddenly combust)
hiiii anon! it's exactly like that 😭 and it's so sad for me because I was so excited for this series and I was so happy it was getting good feedback from you guys 😭
but just like that and because I like this story so much I don't want it to feel rushed at all, and I want all of us to have a good ride, me writing it and you guys reading it!
good thing the whole thing is planned out already, so I'm hoping after focusing on something different I can go back to icft with a different mindset and getting it exactly how I want it and where I want it! i hope to see you guys there 🥺, and in the new fic if y'all like it too!
thank u so much anon 🥹🥹🫰🏻💜
i can fix them (no really, i can't) (m.list)
summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life?
pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader.
content. cursing words, angst, suffering, slow burn, eventual-really eventual fluff, mature themes such as drugs and violence. every chapter will have their own warnings at the very top.
a/n. this is the first bts related fic i've ever posted and i hope for the best!! ofc this is inspired by i can fix him by taylor swift in case you were wondering. and this story wasn't really planned (no news for me), but it's all i've been thinking and writing about all this week, so i decided to post it! the chapters list will be posted as soon as i can! love you all and thank u for the support!
bts masterlist
chapter list.
i. the one where everything changes
ii. the one where you came close!
iii. the one where i said fuck you and you cried
iv. the one where you stood there and watched (80%)
v. the one where... is it true? (50%)
vi. soon (20%)
updates will be weekly or biweekly, depending on the progress of each chapter.
i can fix them (no really, i can't) (m.list)
summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life?
pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader.
content. cursing words, angst, suffering, slow burn, eventual-really eventual fluff, mature themes such as drugs and violence. every chapter will have their own warnings at the very top.
a/n. this is the first bts related fic i've ever posted and i hope for the best!! ofc this is inspired by i can fix him by taylor swift in case you were wondering. and this story wasn't really planned (no news for me), but it's all i've been thinking and writing about all this week, so i decided to post it! the chapters list will be posted as soon as i can! love you all and thank u for the support!
bts masterlist
chapter list.
i. the one where everything changes
ii. the one where you came close!
iii. the one where i said fuck you and you cried
iv. the one where you stood there and watched (80%)
v. the one where... is it true? (50%)
vi. the one where you might be in problem
vii. the one where you thought you had me
viii. the one with the memories
ix. the one where you set everything on fire
x. the one with the truth
xi. the one where you broke my heart... twice
xii. the one where... do you really think you can keep doing this?
xiii. remorse
xiv. why should i?
xv. you didn't have to do it
updates will be weekly or biweekly, depending on the progress of each chapter.
I wish you would write a fic where...
Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)
could I be tagged in the cliff series? I am hooked on it!
hii! yess, ofc i'll tag you <3
hi! just found “the cliff” and it’s soo good 🩵 hope you’re doing well :)
thank u so much anon 🥺🥺🥺
I just found I can fix them and omg I’m obsessed. I hope we get the next part soon as I’m gonna go through withdrawals waiting to find out who’s meeting y/n next and the reaction they get. I wanna feel bad for koo but I would be just as angry if I were really in y/n shoes.
omg thank u so much 😭😭
i've been writing whenever i have a free moment, also my work has consumed a lot of my time and also my motivations haha. but i'm glad you liked it and i hope to fulfill your expectations with the rest of the chapters! thanks reaching out 🥺
ICFT 4 IS COMING OUT TONITTTTTTTTTTTTT.
i would really really appreciate your feedback this time 🥺🥺🥺🥺
intrusive (4)
series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. THIS IS EDITED!! there are new scenes!! 16/9. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! sadness, lots of mixed feelings, self-hatred, flashbacks, flashbacks. a/n. hi guysssssssssss. its been a while, i know and im so sorry. i hope this chapter doesn't feel too rushed. truth be told, between life issues and that i've been having trouble with inspiration for scenes it took me a while to build this, but surprisingly i'm pleased with the result. now, where do you think we're going and what will we do from here on out?????? surprises come, surprises go. thank you all for your continued support!! i really appreciate the feedback from all of you and reading your comments makes my days. for those who are still here, thank you. see you next time!
series masterlist | bts masterlist | previous | next
There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments that kept your hair standing on end every so often or every time you remembered. They were like gaps, things you didn't know how they had gotten there, how they had happened, or how someone else knew. And you were accumulating them, suspicious, somewhat delusional and paranoid if you asked anyone, but they were held in that space in the back of your head waiting for the right moment to come out.
Between moments of lucidity and memories of the past, there were many things you had superficially let slip by.
Yuna was in front of you, her brow furrowed in concentration and her eyes almost square from the amount of time she had already spent in front of the computer. You had been at it all day, so the moment your friend appeared like it was her own living room and everyone acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary, you just plopped down on the couch with a calm expression, waiting for the perfect moment to let certain things out, to ask certain questions.
There were moments of enlightenment, there were moments of brilliant discoveries. And that day you had discovered something you had forgotten because of the brevity of its recognition, but in retrospect it was something worth knowing, even if there were still too many things, more important things, of which you were ignorant. At that moment, all gathered in the living room of your parents' house, the most important thing was what was on your mind.
“Yuna.”
Your friend barely shook her head in acknowledgement of her name. Your parents were arranging the table in the middle of the couches to settle lunch, surely a big feast like every other day for the past few days and the only reason Seojun took virtual classes that day, and your brother was ogling the dishes with his mouth ajar. Eugh.
But none of them were paying too much attention. Food, social media, ordering, direct messaging, arranging the geometrically correct dishes… everyone had their heads in their own world, and that's why you could hear the moment your father's hair touched the ground when you asked:
“You were the one who set up my book booth at the last convention?”
Four pairs of eyes bore into you.
“What?”
You looked at her expectantly, not letting the mischief interfere with your plans.
“No…! I didn't-I mean, what are you talking about?”
Yuna let out a nervous laugh, just after correcting herself when she got a blunt look from your mother. Your father stood stiffly behind his wife, the frying pan in his hands wobbling so clearly that a few drops of the soup dripped onto the wood of the floor. Your mother leaned over, leaving the plate she was carrying on the table, sending Seojun a look that caused him to swallow his saliva sonorously.
The scene was so comical that you really had a hard time not bursting out laughing.
“It's just that when I talked to Sol this morning she commented something…”
You let the words hover in the air, straining them each time it came to one of them. Yuna straightened up, completely forgetting about the computer for a second, peeling her back off the couch where she was leaning on the floor. Your father snorted in surprise so hard that he was attacked by a cough and your mother had to take the frying pan away from him before he watered down all the soup from all the shaking. Seojun hid behind your mother's legs and you just plopped down on the couch, stretching your legs over the armrest, satisfied with their reactions.
“And what did she say to you, honey?”
Your mother was the most composed, finishing arranging the dishes around the pan while your father had run out to the living room for a glass of water. Among the foursome, your mother was the only one who truly knew what dissimulation meant. You had no doubt that her sisterhood with the others in the room would end once you told them you already knew everything.
“She told me she was afraid I hadn't been able to see what you had done for me,” you frowned looking up at the ceiling, looking genuinely confused. “And it was weird, because we were talking about the last convention.”
Yuna let out a laugh, incredulous.
“And why would you be talking about that with Sol?”
Putting the antics aside, you stood up on your forearms and glared at her.
“Why did you do that?”
“What did I do?”
“Sol told me it was your idea.”
“That's not true!”
“Ah…” you held a hand to your forehead, as if you had just remembered something important. Your gaze swept around the room and Seojun cringed when your eyes landed on him. “True. She said it had been your idea.”
Before Yuna could send a warning glance at your brother, Seojun raised his hand and pointed at your friend, exclaiming:
“It was her idea! It was all Yuna's idea! Tell her mom!”
The two aforementioned closed their eyes, taking a deep breath and bringing their fingers to the bridge of their noses. Their expressions of ennui were unmatched and promptly Seojun was cringing for a completely different reason.
“You're such a jerk,” Yuna mumbled, almost barking in the direction of the poor man seeking to escape his mother's lethal gaze. Instantly, your friend turned her gaze in your direction, meeting that amused look that curled her annoyance just for a millisecond. “I thought you'd be more upset.”
“I was,” you lifted a shoulder, leaning back against the back of the couch as you listened to the string of scoldings your mom was in between yelling and whispering to your brother. “But it's impossible not to see reason when you're talking to someone like Sol.
Yuna also nodded in consideration. It was something that, not just the two of you, but all of Sol's workers agreed with. Sol had a warmth about her, a homely feel to her that made you automatically trust her and take it for granted that, if she told you everything would work out, it was because it would; whether it was by chance of the universe or because she would see to it that it did.
“Then it was a good thing you heard it from her mouth and not your inept brother's,” Yuna sent her another withering glare and you couldn't help the smile that twitched your corners as you watched your mother move the bowl of tteokbokki away from her grasp. It was so funny to see that he didn't always get the baby of the house treatment for a change.
“Were you planning on taking that to your grave?”
Yuna turned, arching her eyebrows. With her lips set in a thin line, you knew she was thinking about choosing the right words to answer you, even though that thing they'd done had led directly to the fact that, at that moment, you'd been able to afford the luxury of asking for vacation for the first time and focusing on what you truly loved to do. Even if they had worked behind your back, the result had not been so fatal.
If you took a few unwanted people out of the equation, that is.
Your friend finally softened her gaze.
“No, I knew you'd find out at some point. From whoever's mouth. A secret can only be kept from so many people.” Yuna rolled her eyes, moving to listen to your father complain from the kitchen. “But I didn't think Sol would tell you so openly. Was it on purpose?”
“Yes. I think she was trying to convince me or make up for something. I'm not sure which.”
Yuna raised her eyebrows, cocking her head in tension for barely a second. If not for the years you'd known her, you probably would've interpreted her short-lived reaction as genuine curiosity, the desire for a tidbit of gossip. But your friend's tension was palpable and it was something that left you wondering a bit, especially when she didn't speak until your father returned to the kitchen.
“Honey, I think I'm going to get a sore throat.”
There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments. There were too many things you were still ignorant of and had no idea about; things far beyond what was happening in the present.
There were things you still didn't understand, like why and how Jeon Jungkook, the country's most famous idol and probably one of the celebrities most likely to have easiest facial recognition on the street, had so stealthily stumbled upon your whereabouts or why he had acted as if seeing you again was a reunion with his lost puppy from years ago.
“Are you still upset, noona?”
Seojun watched you warily, your sidelong glance leading him to cower once more behind your father. With lunch settled and the tension gone (barely), you all had been able to enjoy an enjoyable moment. After all, the dense atmosphere that still lingered was only due to the fact that teasing Seojun was fun and more satisfying when you had no reason to do so.
It all came from a great consideration that your family, and even Sol, had for you, trying to support you however they could, even if you didn't even seek their help. As much as you wanted to (and didn't really want to) there wasn't much reason to get angry. Less so when the outcome, likewise, had been favorable.
“We should focus on what's important,” Yuna dipped her spoon into the almost non-existent conversation, finishing her meal and leaving the plate practically glistening, to which your mother was able to sketch a satisfied smile. “We have a meeting this afternoon.”
“Ah. Yes,” Seojun nodded, remembering his place as the second-in-command of the business, because you had actually been relieved of any position you might have held in your own business. “As the person in charge of the treasury of this company, I must admit that the decision made is the most appropriate and in our best interests.”
Yuna narrowed her eyes, seeming it was almost impossible for her to ignore your brother's annoying presence.
“What have you contributed to this business to call yourself the person in charge of the treasury?”
“I've done a lot for this project! Besides, you are focused on advertising. You should be in charge of the public relations department.”
“And I can't handle both?!”
“I set up all the lines of communication with the delivery people and organized the accounts with Dad!” Seojun pulled Dad's shirt collar, pulling him close to his face with a frown. Your dad only let him be, as he savored a wing. “You took charge of net with mom. We can't reverse charges now. Experience and reality speak for themselves.”
Yuna clicked her tongue, irritated.
“Whatever,” shaking her head, she flipped the computer on the table so Seojun and your parents could get a good look at the proposal you had accepted, after arduous study over the weekend as a family. “After a long board meeting, which stretched over the entire weekend, this was the accepted offer.”
You could almost see the zeros running in your brother's eyes, with a budding smile making its way across his face. Your parents looked pleased, proud. And Yuna kept that determined expression; she was really taking all this seriously and you didn't know yet how you could thank her for it.
“Ah…” your mother sighed, holding a hand to her chest. “It's finally happening.”
When she sent you that look with the sparkling eyes you couldn't help but shrink back on your spot on the floor.
“Mom, I think it's best we avoid getting too excited until we've signed.”
Your mother nodded, closing her eyes and breathing to keep her composure.
“Accepted the offer, we were summoned to their facility, which is where we will be heading after resting from this delicious lunch.” Yuna smiled radiantly in your mother's direction. Sometimes you wondered if she wasn't missed at home. But… no, she was much better off here.
“My children have to rest very well to make the best decisions at that meeting,” your mother nodded, stroking Yuna's hair superficially and getting up to pick up the dishes. Seojun got up to help her, but your father stopped him, keeping the warm smile on his face. Of all of them, your father was the most expressive, but you knew that at that moment he was holding back only because at the slightest he would burst into tears. And yes, with a simple glance in your direction, his eyes watered and he had to run away hugging the dishes against his chest.
Seojun sighed dramatically.
“I wish they had been this excited when I entered college.”
Yuna moved across the table, smacking him on the forehead that left him with an instant redness.
“What are you talking about, idiot? You celebrated all weekend.”
Seojun didn't respond, touching his forehead with a grimace. Yuna snorted, not believing your brother's audacity, and turned her focus back to the contents of the proposal you had received from Noble Publishing Apgujeong. You still remembered the screams that had echoed throughout the house when they found the letter from that publishing house in the mail, the most prestigious and probably the highest one could aspire to in the world of writing and for the purposes of editing and publishing. There wasn't a book published under that publishing house that wasn't a success, and that they had sought you out themselves was a great privilege.
“Speaking of celebrations,” Seojun took the floor again, when your parents had finished taking the dishes away and agreed that you would wash them all together before youo left for the publishing house, because nothing was good enough, ”I don't think we've had a moment to at least pop a champagne and celebrate this.”
Your parents remained thoughtful, but you were already shaking your head when Yuna spoke:
“It's true,” her frown said she couldn't believe they hadn't done it yet, but between so many chores, to-dos and new things you were discovering on this new path, you couldn't just take the luxury of doing nothing for a few hours. There was a lot to work on. “We should do it after the meeting. With the contract at home, it will be much better!”
Your father and Seojun cheered in agreement and your mother gave a few claps.
“You're working tomorrow, Yuna.”
“So what?” your friend frowned at you. “Do you think it'll be the first time I've gone to work with a hangover?”
Your mom's throat clearing startled her, and she quickly melted like pudding with a sheepish grin.
“But this time it will be for a good cause…and it won't happen again.”
Your mom nodded, not very convinced.
“Incidentally,” Yuna regained her posture, sending a glare at Seojun, ”we could have y/n finally watch the video reactions of her books.”
“You haven't seen them?” Seojun exclaimed and suddenly the four pairs of eyes felt very threatening.
“… no…”
“Mom?? Did you hear that?!”
“Sweetheart!” your father exclaimed, looking at you as if he had heard that you did something worthy of banishment. “Why haven't you seen the videos, don't you know the good things they say about you?”
“The compliments,” your mother nodded. “Almost the entire internet loves your books.”
“That's an exaggeration, mom…”
“How did you even avoid all that hype?” Seojun asked, leaning over the table. “Even Dad's TikTok wasn't spared, and he only watches National Geographic videos.”
“…I muffled a few words.”
A roar of incredulous refusals followed your words and promptly everyone was moving to corner you against the couch so you had no escape.
“There is no time to waste.” Seojun nodded in Yuna's direction and it offended you too much that the only times they agreed was to do something against you.
“Mrs. l/n, I think dessert will be popcorn,” Yuna moved her computer closer to the center of the table as Seojun settled in behind you, each of your parents on your sides as your friend opened the TikTok web app.
“Hey, no… no. I'm not ready to watch this. I'm not-”
“Nonsense, noona. Even better, this will give you a big confidence boost for the meeting this afternoon.”
You didn't believe Seojun at all. Your nerves were on edge as Yuna moved to sit next to your brother and the first words of the first video echoed in the living room:
“My honest opinion of the A Million Swords trilogy…”
-
“Do you think I might publish any of these one day?”
Your fingers drummed on the keyboard of the desktop computer, watching the letters spinning a story that no one yet knew. No one, except for you and Taehyung at that moment. His gaze was confused as his dark eyes hid behind the dark, unruly, damp locks of his hair. For a pool day, you couldn't have had a better time than writing parts of your still unfinished story, the one you used to run away to when you had a whole reality to mold in front of you. Maybe you should have paid a little more attention back then; attention to details, to gestures, to distances, to forced smiles; maybe if you had paid that kind of attention you would have been able to foresee everything that would happen later… maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much.
But at that moment, at 14, you could only see with stars in your eyes the enormous possibility that you thought writing would open up for you; the world you were about to discover, much farther away than you thought.
That weekend the pool party was at your house. Jimin had brought a gigantic inflatable pool withJungkook and they all kept splashing water in each other's eyes in the backyard. In your prolonged absence, surely, Taehyung had ventured inside the house to the only place he would know you would be if it wasn't next to them.
“Do I think? I'm absolutely sure.”
Taehyung shook the droplets slipping from the ends of his hair all over your face.
“Tae!”
“Why are you doubting it?”
“I never said I was doubting it.”
Your friend took one of the armchairs that each of the boys had recast in your room, which no matter how much you pulled them out always ended up there again, to sit next to you and watch the unfinished paragraphs on the computer screen. There were four armchairs already gathering dust in the corner of the room that you still hadn't had the heart to take them out.
“Look at that,” the brown-haired man moved his face closer to the screen, splashing more water on you, with a mischievous grin. “It was desire that stirred me, far beyond the reach of reason or any cognitive faculty. In the depths of my being, I knew with unshakable certainty that I was right. Their gaze scrutinized my every expression, searching for ways to break me, while their fingers, far from innocent, accused me relentlessly. Yet, even as the weight of their scrutiny bore down on me, there was no realm, no dimension in this vast, boundless universe where I had not chosen him above all else. Not even as the streets ignited, the houses crumbled to ashes, and the roar of thunder drowned out the cries for mercy…who writes like that?”
“y/n!”
Your other two friends appeared, reveling in the unapproved reading of the first draft of your first novel, and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.
You moved quickly to press the off button and your friends barely let out a short laugh.
“Don't ever do that again.”
“Then don't ever doubt you again.”
“I wasn't doubting! It was just a question…”
“She just wants you to be honest, Tae.” Jimin entered the room, moving right behind his friend and flashing a smile that made your hair stand on end.
“Honest...?”
“Shut up, Jimin.”
The aforementioned barely let out a laugh, under the scrutinizing and confused expressions of his other two friends.
“What do you mean?” Jungkook spoke, trying to gain ground in that unfamiliar room, clasping his hands in front of him in nervousness. He didn't even understand why he was nervous, he just knew he didn't like the obfuscated expression on your face.
“Nothing, Junkookie, Jimin's just an idiot who only knows how to spout rubbish.”
“Rubbish? Where do you even get those words from?”
“I learned it yesterday in literature class!”
“Uh-huh…”
“Stop it, Jimin!”
-
He wasn't a person to be caught off guard. His cautious attitude was something he had developed over time; with the experience of going through and surviving difficult situations; with the toughness of making strong decisions and constantly bearing the burden of being at fault for their consequences.
So no, Min Yoongi took it upon himself to plan things around him so meticulously that every aspect of his life had a place and a time; an hour and a second.
A planning so perfect that at that moment it was slipping through his hands like sand. His friend… no, Dohyun could do nothing but rest his hands against his desk sending him an obfuscated look, trying to look almost as disgruntled as Yoongi was at what he had learned would happen in that office.
“Of all the things I thought you could tell me…” Choi Dohyun shook his head, and on his face Yoongi could tell there were no words that could qualify his surprise. But he was surprised too, to be honest. He didn't know how he had summoned the fortitude to move so quickly from across town, from his study, to arrive at Dohyun's office and blurt that out to his face as if it were any Tuesday afternoon, as if he were simply inviting him to dinner at his house. “I've never underestimated you, Yoongi-ah, but this…”
“Who contacted you?”
“Who contacted me?” Dohyun let out a laugh, which felt a little heavy to Yoongi as he shifted his weight on his feet. “What makes you think I can't recognize a good deal from a distance when I see one? They call me the Shark for a reason, don't you think? I smell business like they smell blood in the sea.”
Yoongi clasped his hands at his sides, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Dohyun, who looked up and barely ran his tongue over his teeth before plopping back down on his ergonomic chair.
“The decision is already made,” was all he said to him, generating a flutter of emotions inside Yoongi.
“Who contacted you?” Yoongi insisted, feeling time slipping through his fingers. “How did you find out about… this?”
Dohyun let out a laugh, bordering on sarcasm and disbelief. Yoongi would've taken more time to think about it there, to ponder what he was doing, what his impulses were pushing him to do. But within the framework of his decisions and conflicting feelings, Yoongi had taken a path that he could no longer undo and the least he could do was avoid was to generate collateral damage to someone. Just for the chance to try, even though the probability of having the universe in his favor was microscopic, he decided not to give in to reason.
Maybe he would still be the villain in someone else's story, but in his conscience… maybe… maybe he was right and was looking for no way to excuse himself; to excuse things he could no longer change; to excuse behaviors he could no longer erase and decisions he could no longer undo.
Perhaps, too, it was the price he had to pay for what he had done. For what he had said; for what he had not said; for what he had done and what he had not done; for his action and his omission; for his perpetration and complicity. If Yoongi had known that time in his twenties that such a decision would have taken things so far, so close to the impossibility of healing, he surely would not have made it .
But to regret now, what good would it do him? To mutter apologies now, what good would it do him? To dig through the fibers of an unbridled heart, what good would it do him?
“Yoongi. I am the head of the largest publishing house in this country. If you thought I was going to see fluttering around the internet this opportunity in a million and as an entrepreneur and investor I wasn't going to take it, who are you taking me for?”
He should've dragged Namjoon away when he saw him in the parking lot, because business was his forte and not Yoongi's. Yoongi might as well cringe at Dohyun's words because how was he going to refute them. He had come with fortitude, yes. He had come with resolve and determination, yes; believing that this decision was the right thing to do, the least he could do right. And yet, at that crucial moment, with everything against him and the swords at his neck, Yoongi had his arms crossed again.
Maybe he should've dragged Namjoon along, but… how would he know if he was on his side?
“But don't worry. I'll try to keep you apart. You know I always separate personal matters from my work.”
Dohyun was a professional liar. If telling lies were a profession, Dohyun would quadruple the fortune he now boasts as the owner of the country's largest publishing house. Yoongi hated the way he covered up his poisonous words with honey, as if he couldn't see through the thin texture of the liquid how everything was corroding around him. And Dohyun was not his friend, if he wasn't sure before, he was now.
It's business, Namjoon would say, as rational and objective as ever; a businessman can't have someone around who attacks his vision, his business, that's an enemy.
Yoongi right now was a blob of green soup on Dohyun's pole, about to walk to an important meeting where he would close a million-dollar deal. His insignificance bordered on indescribability, but his diminutive presence was big enough to be considered a splinter in the foot.
The phone rang, breaking the tension in the atmosphere, and instead of answering it, Dohyun sent a glance toward the oak doors and then to Yoongi's limp body. Clasping his hands once again, it shook him inside to think that once again he allowed himself to be trampled. Once again, he was going to be the misfortune in someone's life.
“They're already here,” Dohyun almost muttered, an amused expression on his face. “You can leave now or you can stay and watch.”
Yoongi knew he'd be happy to have him there, watching him bite his tongue, trying to swallow his embarrassment. And wouldn't it be simpler to just leave, to brush against the fate he once let slip away as if it were something so trivial that it didn't tear a piece of his soul to even think about it; to brush against an opportunity he missed, selfish and presumptuous, as if he were the only one whose heart was beating with pain that day.
“I've never asked you for anything…”
“And neither have I,” Dohyun interrupted him, raising his gaze serenely, lifting his chin to acerbic dominance. “And all I'm asking you now is to stay out of my business.”
And Yoongi would've had to agree with Namjoon, because business and money definitely change a person. No one can rise to a high position, of Choi Dohyun's level, without having scored a big armory and a few degrees of tough personality willing to kill to get what they want.
“I received you out of courtesy. To Jin. But I won't tolerate another second of this.”
Dohyun mumbled, and the moment he brought the phone to his ear, Yoongi knew he had lost. Again.
“Hyung…” Yoongi closed his eyes, helplessness winning out over reason, the word sour in his mouth.
“No. I'm sorry, but no. It will happen. Just make your decision, I don't want my guests to wait too long.”
He didn't know if the grinding of his teeth was as loud as he heard it in his head. He didn't know if his behavior was over the top or understandable. He didn't know if he had a right to those emotions or if he had lost it more than ten years ago. Well, ten years in her head. He didn't know if he deserved that moment; to share that space and time and catch off guard someone who could become as cautious as he was now; because if Yoongi learned from anyone to be the way he was today, it was because of her.
He didn't know, in retrospect, if he ever made a good decision in his life.
-
i reeaally want to know your thoughts on this one!! re-edited!
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guys, im rewriting icft pt 4 bc everytime i read it i feel like it's missing something and that's keeping me from keeping up with the story, or at least with pt 5. so im gonna work on it and i'll edit the post when it's don't, i dont think i'll repost. so yeah, just wanted to tell you that. hoping your weekend is going splendid; love u all 🫶🏻
im so tired of working you guys. it's draining me. could someone sponsor my life? 😭😭
Hi can i be tagged in the new ot7 bts story, i can change them pretty please
yess, thank u for reading 🫶🏻🫶🏻